Quick Aurthor's Note:-

this is a direct flashback

this is a memory (not flashback just his thoughts)

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                 I’m not normal, I am a freak and I do not belong here. These are words I’ve heard every other day since I turned five. I believed them with my all my heart and could see no other reason why this was happening.

                I pulled my knees closer to me and slowly wrapped my arms around them in an attempt to become smaller. I slowly lifted my head off of my knees and caught a glimpse of me in the grimy mirror that hung behind the door, opposite to where I was sitting. There I saw the thing that made me a freak, a part of me that made me different no matter how I looked like.

                Two wings extended from my shoulder blade and bent in half, creating a small curtain around most of me. The wings were white with a small purple design that seemed to go through the center of each feather then spread out like mini veins. They had been a part of me since the midnight of my fifth birthday and the memory was ever-present on my mind as though it was yesterday.

                I woke up with a gasp and I could feel the tiny sweat droplets roll off of me, but none of that mattered. All that mattered was the burning pain on my back and the scared feeling at the thought of being sick.

                “Mom!” I screamed the best I could through the pain and then let out a scream as the pain increased and felt like someone was stamping y shoulder blades with hot poker sticks. The door burst open and both my parents ran into the room.

                My mother let out a gasp as I continued writhing around the bed and my dad ran pajama to the washroom to get some wet cloth. He ran back in and took of my shirt while my mother went out to run and grab a basin and another rag. Soon, I had both my parents wiping me down, but it had no effect. Neither the pain was reducing nor was my temperature getting better.

                Finally, it seemed as though the pain simply erupted on my back and I couldn’t lie on it anymore. A scream ripped through my throat as I turned to lie on my stomach, hoping that this would elevate the pain. My mother let out a scream and I felt as though my skin was ripping open moments after turning around. My mouth was open in a silent scream and I could barely see due to the tears dripping down from my eyes.

                Then the pain stopped. Completely. No gradual reduction or the usual dull throb that severe pain usually left. It just vanished as though I had been given a miracle medicine that made it all go away. I slowly sat up, gasping for breath and felt a slight weight on my shoulder. Once I was completely sitting I looked to my parents and saw them standing in the middle of my room, holding each other and staring wide-eyed at me.

                “Mom? Dad? Why did the pain suddenly stop? Did you rub the special medicine that you’re always putting on mommy, daddy?” I asked, not understanding the reason why they were acting so different. It was then that he heard the slight fluttering sound and turned his head to locate it-only to come face-to-face with a wing.

                His eyes widened considerably and he turned around to face his parents, still unsure of what was going on.

                “Mom, Dad, is this a joke that you guys planned for my birthday? ‘Cause it’s not funny.” I said slight sobs starting to escape and tears dripping from his eyes.

                “H-Hyukjae…”  Was all that my mom would say and all it resulted in was me sobbing harder as the confusion and fear refused to go away.

                My father ran out of the room and my mother gave me a small smile before following my father as well.

                That was the first time my parents had just left me, but as I grew up, it became the norm instead of the exception. By the time I had turned ten and learned that my eyes could change color and that I could control fire, I had realized that parents aren’t required to love you unconditionally. Their love only remains as long as they can brag about you to the neighbors and you are normal. I was a son that fit neither of these categories and so, was ignored.

                Being ignored was fine, I became used to the cold shoulder soon enough, but it is what came after and what’s going on right now that I don’t want at all.  It happened when I turned thirteen. I had been in my room listening to a CD when my father burst into my room. It surprised me since I was usually ignored unless there was food on the table.

                He walked into my room and grabbed me of the bed, forcing me to stand up before punching my stomach. I doubled over in pain and titled my head up to look at my father. His face was contorted in anger and his hands were fisted. I hadn’t even straightened myself before his second hit came.  The punches continued until I was curled up into a ball on the floor. Then they stopped and I heard the sound of footsteps. I lightly moved my head to stare at the only to see my father leave the room with my mother patting his back and comforting him. She glanced back at me once and her expression was blank, as though I wasn’t even human at that point.

                My life at home had changed a lot and so had my life outside. Children bullied me for not having parents who came for parent-teacher meetings or any other school events. Teachers pitied me and the students then picked on me for being the teacher’s pet.  The entire town soon knew that my parents disliked me for an unknown reason, but that didn’t stop them. They judged me and bullied me in their own ways; the butcher would give me the older meat, the grocer would sell the older vegetables. My whole town…hated me.

                A loud bang brought me out of my thoughts and I pulled my legs even closer, hoping that whatever mother and father were doing outside would keep them occupied enough to forget me.

                The rain was falling outside the window as I hugged myself for warmth and my wings came around me naturally, blocking the chill and reducing the noise. I slowly unclasped my hands from around my knees and reached out to touch my wing. Despite all my self-loathing and the fact that I knew I was a freak, I couldn’t help but love my wings. Over the years, they had become my barrier from the outside world once I got home from school. Soon I felt my eyes drooping and fatigue taking toll on my body as I drifted on to a dreamless sleep.

                I slowly opened my eyes and felt the sun rays warm up my face. I slowly sat up and realized my wings were still out so I quickly closed my eyes and pulled my wings back in. It’s been a while since I learned how to do that. I had learned other things as well as the years had passed like how to control my fire and how to control emotions so that my eyes remain brown always.

                I got out of bed with a small sigh and walked to the attached bathroom. I stared at myself for a couple seconds and watched as my eyes flashed blue. I looked down for a couple seconds before looking back up again.

                “Happy eighteenth birthday Lee Hyukjae, let’s see if this year brings any surprises.” I murmured as I took my tooth brush and started my daily routine.

                Stepping out of the bathroom with a towel draped around my waist, I ran to the closet and quickly picked out my uniform-not that it was difficult. It was the only piece of clothing that fit me properly in the entire closet anyway. After putting it, I ensured that my blonde hair covered my eyes as a preventive measure against unexpected color changes.

                I slipped out of my room and slowly tip-toed down the stairs hoping that my parents were still asleep. I peeked into the kitchen and sighed in relief when I found it to be empty. I went inside quickly and grabbed an apple and a strawberry milk from my hidden stash behind all the vegetables. Checking the hallway once again, I quickly ran through the living room and opened the door. I heard the shuffle of footsteps coming down the stairs. I stepped outside and gently shut the door, knowing that closing it too quickly and being caught can mean a rough beating.

                I walked quickly down the street making sure to keep my head down hoping that no one from school noticed me, because if they did, I was known as the school’s “easy target” or “stress ball” I just wish I knew what I did to make them hate me. It can’t be because I’m a freak…can it? I’m pretty sure my classmates don’t know it about it.

                Reaching the school entrance, I  looked up at the simple building that made my school. Saving Grace High School was known to most of the people in the locality and those outside it as Grace High. The walls were plain and it stood tall with 7 floors and many windows. There was a soccer field behind the school and dance studios were there on the east wing of the third floors and multiple other creative classrooms. The west wing was the “study wing” where all the classes were located and the science labs.

                I walked in the school and walked into classroom 4-A. It was considered to be the highest class in my school. Year 4 meant senior year and the highest grade in school and in each year had a class ‘A’ which stood for ‘Advanced’. The students in the ‘Advanced’ class were the highest scorers on both the in-school as well as national exam held for each grade each year. The class-irrespective of which grade- had room for only 20 students and class 4-A was unique-there were only 19 students. Apart from the 19 of us, no one scored high enough to be in this class so we were left alone.

                Our class might get lots of respect as a whole, but I am usually excluded from the whole. I made it a point to not step out of class until and unless the hallway is clear and to never join the rest of the student population during breaks. Instead, I sat on the inside looking out.

                The bell rang and brought me out of my thoughts. I looked up from my desk and watched as my classmates came in and sat down chatting with one another and having fun. I looked back down at my desk and waited for the teacher to enter by taking out my notebook and stationary.

                Within five minutes, the teacher had entered and the class had settled down. He took roll call and ensured that everyone was in their seats before moving to stand in front of his table, rolling up his sleeves and staring at the class till the entire class was looking at him in confusion.

                “Alright class, we have a new student. This new student has an almost perfect score on both our school test and the national test as well. So class, I would like you to welcome our new student.” He said waving his hand in the direction of the door towards the end of his speech inviting the new student into class.

                A boy stepped in and walked until he stood right next to Kim-Seongsangnim. He had kept his head down until then, and once he bowed to Mr. Kim, he faced the class and looked up.

                “Hello, I’m Lee Donghae, please take care of me.” He said flashing an angelic smile and tilting his head slightly to the left, causing his light brown hair to fall lightly over one eye. The girls in the class swooned and squealed in their seats while the boys smiled and cheered at the new addition to the class.

                He smiled a little more at the attention he was receiving and his eyes swept over  the class and I sunk lower in my seat and ensured that my fringe covered my eyes, peeking through my bangs to get a glimpse of the new boy.

                I could still feel the after-taste in my mouth that his name gave me. It was slightly salty, with a tang that normally accompanied citrus fruits. His name made me see blue for a couple seconds and had a sweet scent lingering around, like fresh rain. I continued watching as his eyes took in his new classmates and wanted to disappear the closer he got to me.

                He finally reached me and his eyes widened slightly. I wanted to look away, but something about his eyes seemed to, almost, physically prevent me from looking back down or closing my eyes. I continued staring and watched as his eyes flashed a molten gold color, but it barely lasted a second before it disappeared and he looked away. I took in a deep breath once he looked away and closed my eyes, trying to calm my racing heart. I looked towards the window hoping to calm down and caught a glimpse of my face, staring back at me with silver eyes.

                The lessons that day continued on like normal and I checked my eyes every once in a while to ensure that they stayed brown. It had taken almost five minutes for my eyes to return to normal, the longest it’s taken since I learned how to control my emotions. It was lunch right now and I was sitting alone in class looking out the window at the rest of my school mates playing outside. I stood up from my seat and walked quickly to the door and checked to ensure that both sides of the hallway were clear before dashing to the stairs and going to the third floor east wing, dance room 10. It was the last dance room on the floor and it was the least used so I knew no one would find me here. I walked into the room and went to the music system on the side and took of my uniform shirt and pants. I had made it a habit to r a wear a wife-beater and tights inside just in case I got any day like today. I reached down and took out a large t-shirt from the small bag I had brought with me and slipped that on before I played the music and walked to the center of the room.

Then I began dancing.

                Dancing was my escape from the reality. When I was dancing, I was no longer the freak who was hated by everyone. I was myself and I could express how I felt. Today, I danced softly at first, slowly getting into the rhythm before starting to pop and lock across the floor. When I danced, I could be free, I could fly away from my problems and forget that a sad little boy named Hyukjae existed. The person who danced, the me who wanted to make friends, smile and laugh with people, the real me, existed only inside this four walled room. Away from the judging and prying eyes of society and in a room with a mirrored wall and curtain of clouds is where I taught myself to live.

                The Music stopped and my movements paused abruptly. I stood there in the last position panting and catching my breath my eyes were a deep magenta and very visible with all my bangs stuck to my forehead with sweat. I closed my eyes and I could feel a smile tug at the corner of my lips at the feeling of accomplishment that seemed to be thrumming through my veins.

                I was happy in my own world when suddenly, the sound of clapping broke the serene silence. I immediately stood up straight and turned around with my eyes wide, only to see the new boy Lee Donghae standing there with a wide smile on his face.

                “WOW! You’re an amazing dancer you know? Do you also know that your eyes are tinged red?” He asked as he walked closer. I found myself stumbling backwards in hopes of maintaining the distance that was there in between us. He stopped when he was in the center of the room and  I was backed up against a mirror.

                “Why are you backing away? My name is Lee Donghae and I want to be friends with you.” He said causing me to look at him with my eyes wide.

                “Why? Why would y-you even say that?” I asked pushing myself deeper into the wall. This wasn’t the first time someone had came up and asked to be friends. It turned out to be bets placed on whether or not they could trick me or someone who wanted to use my secrets against me. I had reason for my worries. They had stopped recently since I started asking them why they wanted to be friends.

                Donghae didn’t run away or smirk, like the others who asked me the same question. He simply looked at me and titled his head, just as he had done in class, before walking a little closer to me and opening his mouth to speak.

                “Honestly, it’s not that I just want to be friends…” He started and I immediately started inching away in hopes of making to the door. I had just made a dash to the door when he reached out and grabbed my arms, pulling me closer, until he was back-hugging me and we were facing the mirror.

                “You didn’t let me finish. I said it’s not that I just want to be friends, I want to be more. I want to date you and I know that I just met you, but I really, really like you. So can we start off as friends so that I can maybe court you?” He asked.

                My eyes widened even more than I thought possible. I stared directly ahead into the mirror and looked at the reflection of his eyes. I continued looking, searching his eyes through the reflection, trying to find out whether this was a joke or not.

                His eyes held mine constantly and the color of his eyes seemed to be a deep brown with flecks of blue that screamed protection and trust and me. I could feel the light thrum of adrenaline through my body as my heart and mind screamed at me to accept his proposal. I broke eye-contact and looked down, taking several breaths to keep me calm.

                Once I felt calm enough, I looked back up and met his eyes. He looked a little tense and slightly nervous so I couldn’t help but let out a small smile that would forever seal my fate.

“yes”