MOM’S COOKING, SEUL MI’S COOKING AND LIVING ALONE

Seul Mi unwillingly sat down on the sofa of her living room. She felt the rush of embarrassment take over her emotions. She squeezed her knees to get rid of the nervousness she was feeling. The six guys were sitting around waiting for her to talk. She had promised them to explain everything to them but was regretting it already.

“I’m sorry I cried like that,” she first began with an apology. “I’m not the crying type.”

“It’s okay,” Doo Joon shrugged off. “I needed a shower anyways.”

She forcefully smiled at him when she wanted to strangle him. She knew he wouldn’t let it go without teasing her. She ignored his smirk. “I think I was so touched with all of your words that I couldn’t hold it in.”

She noticed that she wasn’t the only one nervous. The guys seemed to be on edge wondering what she had to say. “Seul Mi-ya, as we said, you don’t need to explain if you don’t want to,” Hyun Seung said.

She shook her head. “I want to,” she reassured them all. She took deep breaths before beginning. “The thing is I live alone. I lost my parents when I was very young. My step-brother,” she pointed at the portrait hanging on the wall, “adopted me but right now he is in America on business.”

There was a long pregnant silence. The silence deafened her. Soon she became restless of not getting any kind of reaction from them. Her mind wondered back to when she was in Suwon. She used to get teased and bullied for being a parentless child with a teenage brother looking after her.

Yet, here she was telling her secret that she wanted to keep for as long as she could to the most closest of friends she had ever made knowing well that it could ruin their friendship if being parentless and living alone for the time being until her brother returns mattered to them.

“Seul Mi-ya,” Dong Woon broke the silence.

“N-neh?”

“Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” he exclaimed, concern was detected in his voice which went unnoticed by her.

“I-I’m sorry”

“How could you not tell us this important thing?” Jun Hyung scolded her.

Her body trembled. She knew it would be just like Suwon all over again. “I’m really sorry.”

“Why are you crying now?” Hyun Seung frowned seeing her eyes overflow with water again.

“But… but…” she could tell them how hurt she was.

“But… but…” Doo Joon mocked her.

Seul Mi’s tears subsided to be replaced by anger. “Are you mocking me?”

He shrugged his shoulders not answering her. Instead he said, “Don’t change the subject.”

She let out a wary laugh. “Because it’s always the same everywhere,” she replied. “Once everyone finds out I’m parentless they don’t want to be friends with me anymore.”

“Do you think so lowly of us?” Gi Kwang spoke for the first time since they arrived.

She took a sharp intake of breath. “I-I…”

“Obviously you do,” he answered his own question. “You’re not the only one who lost their parent. I may have just lost one but it’s still the same. I got bullied when I was little for not having a father. My mother became a workaholic. She was never home. So tell me is it not the same pain?” he paused to calm himself down. He realised he had become too emotional that he couldn’t stop the words coming out.

Doo Joon, who was seated next to Gi Kwang, squeezed his shoulder. “Seul Mi,” Doo Joon said, “what makes you think that we will treat you differently if we are doing no such thing like that to Gi Kwang? We all may act immature all time - especially Yo Seob and Dong Woon - but we’re not that immature to let something as silly as that get in the way of friendship.”

Seul Mi buried her face in her open hands. “I didn’t know,” she cried out. “I was so caught up believing that everyone will have the same reaction just like back in Suwon that I didn’t see that Gi Kwang-kun was just the same as me.”

Dong Woon and Yo Seob came and sat each of her side. They sandwiched her with a hug. “Poor Seul Mi-ya,” Yo Seob cooed. “If you told us earlier that you were living alone we would have made sure you don’t always be alone.”

“Because you have us,” Dong Woon agreed. “And we make one big family.”

“Plus now that we know your brother is in America we can relax and hug you anytime we want,” Yo Seob added with a grin.

She couldn’t help but laugh. She didn’t hold back on her laughter. “Oh my God, I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time!”

“Well, don’t always laugh like that,” Doo Joon said. “It’s scary.” It just made her laugh louder. “Yah, guys let’s get out of here. She finally flipped.”

Seul Mi abruptly stopped. She jumped to her feet angrily. “What did you say, Baboon?”

“Hey, what did I say about calling me Baboon?”

“What did you say?” she taunted.

The guys chuckled as the two were back to quarrelling as if the earlier episode didn’t happen. It seemed that their worries were just beginning now that they know she lives alone. They silently vowed to protect her.

~~***~~

The little Seul Mi had been bubbling with energy as today was like no other day for her. Her brother, who was always busy, took a day off just to spend some time with her. They have just come out of the Jung’s Supermarket and were walking home that evening. Il Woo had joined them on their walk, despite her protest of wanting to be alone with her brother.

Not able to have her own way she sulked, walking a few feet behind them. Her brother and Il Woo were laughing at each other’s jokes. As she was moping, a couple walked passed her holding a boy her age in between them. She stopped and stared at them with longing eyes.

‘Would you like Omma to make dinner tonight, sweetie?’ the mother asked while looking down at the boy lovingly.

‘Neh!’ the boy beamed. ‘With Omma and Appa!’

She felt a twinge a jealousy in the pit of her stomach. She wanted her mother and father with her. She wanted to eat with her parents again. Sadness overwhelmed her. The only family she had was her brother but he was never home for her. It wasn’t the first time she felt like this. She would always watch other kids with their family.

‘Seul Mi, are you okay?’ Jae Joong called her. He anxiously began making his way towards her. ‘Why are you crying?’

She snapped back to reality. She felt the wetness on her cheeks. She hadn’t noticed that she was crying. But the tears wouldn’t stop flowing down. ‘I don’t know,’ she said brushing the tears away only it would be replaced by fresh ones. ‘It won’t stop coming.’

Jae Joong put the grocery bag on the ground and scooped her into his arm. Passer-by’s glanced at them but he ignored it. Fear and worry was mixed in his eyes. ‘What is it, honey?’

‘Jae,’ Il Woo said stopping next to him. He nodded his head over to where the couple and the boy were turning the corner to the street still hand in hand.

He didn’t need to explain what he was indicating. Just one glance at them told him what Seul Mi was feeling. He tightened his grip on her. He hated it when he couldn’t do anything to stop her pain. He couldn’t give her what she wanted. All he was able to give was all his love.

‘Mianhae, Seul Mi,’ he whispered.

She stilled. Her tears finally subsided. She looked up at him. She saw the guilt was taking over him. She shook her head. ‘I’m the one who should be sorry,’ she said. ‘I don’t know why I was crying. I made you worry now.’

Jae Joong rubbed the tears away using his thumbs. ‘I always worry about you. It is part of being your Oppa,’ he flashed a smile.

‘But…’

“No buts,’ he cut her off. ‘I’m sorry I can’t always be there with you. I’m sorry I can’t be your Omma and Appa.’

Seul Mi buried her face on his shoulder. ‘That’s because you’re my Oppa. Even though I miss Omma and Appa, I just can’t help wanting to be a family again. But then I’m happy to be with you.’

Jae Joong kissed her hair. He didn’t always have to worry about her. She understood without him needing to explain. She wasn’t like any other nine year olds.

‘Yah, brat,’ Il Woo said. She brought her head up to look at him. He took the opportunity to ruffle her hair. ‘Why do you have to be so mature?’

Seul Mi swatted his hand away and glared at him. ‘Jeez, Il Woo- Oppa!’ she cried out, balling her cheeks. ‘Why do you always mess my hair up?’

He grinned. ‘Because your cleverness annoys me,’ he simply replied. He picked up the bags that Jae Joong had discarded and began walking ahead.

‘Yah, leave my sister alone, my jealous friend,’ Jae Joong scolded him as he walked alongside him.

Il Woo chuckled. ‘I have the right! You’re not her only Oppa here.’

‘Hey, I’m not sharing my sister with you!’ he exclaimed. ‘Just because you’re an only child doesn’t mean you can use my sister to make it up!’

‘Whatever man,’ Il Woo shrugged. A grin then appeared on his face. ‘Seul Mi-ya, tell Omma what you want to eat for dinner tonight,’ he said pointing at her brother.

Jae Joong gaped at him. ‘Why do I have to be Omma?’

Seul Mi giggled. ‘An-dwae, Omma, you shouldn’t fight with Appa.’

‘Listen to our beautiful daughter,’ Il Woo said. ‘She did get her looks from me, though.’

Jae Joong looked away with fake tears brewing. ‘Seul Mi-ya, your Appa is so cruel. He thinks I’m not beautiful. No food for Appa now.’ He rushed ahead dramatically.

Il Woo received a lot of glances now from people walking passed. Some were clucking their tongues at him and some were amused knowing well they were acting. ‘Mianhae, Omma!’ he ran after them.

Seul Mi faced Il Woo who was trying to catch up to them while struggling with the bags. She shook her finger and him and told him crossly, ‘No food for Appa!’ All the while she was laughing loudly.