Seohyun blandly slung the bag of brushes and other tools for mural painting in her right shoulder. She then unenthusiastically carried two pails of acrylic paint in her left hand and another rack of craft paint in her right one.

She then walked further, down to the basement of their campus. Her heel clacked on the tiled grounds as she dragged her own legs. Still in distress, a lot of negative thoughts have already invaded her head.

First of all, she hated how her staff members didn’t even give a damn on her swollen eyes when she arrived on their office right after the heartbreaking scene with her boyfriend. For the first time, she felt how it’s like being emotionally sick yet no one seemed to care.

Then, she hated how Kris became so insensitive of her condition. Of all times, he had chosen to throw her buckets of frosty ice tubes right on her birthday. She didn’t really expect for him to throw some kind of a fabulous party. But she wanted nevertheless to spend it just with him.

But most above all, she hated herself the most. She hated for making her fellow councilors too occupied with the obligations set by their lazy teachers. She hated herself for not giving any concern for their situations.

She hated herself since she hadn’t held onto her boyfriend with firmness. She wasn’t able to do her part as a girlfriend. After all, relationship was a two-way street wherein both male and female should work together. That must be the sole reason as to why Kris had acted accordingly–he had gone tired of working for the two of them.  

She immediately pushed the door that would lead her to the dim-lit basement. A lot of horrifying stories about the said underground venue were widely spread. She, herself, knew different versions of even one of the most known stories. But Seohyun believed the otherwise; probably because that so-called place where the dark history of that school happened was also the very same place wherein she could find peace and serenity.

Whenever her mood was down, when she’s aggravated or simply when she’s just lonely, she would automatically go there and isolate herself.

She didn’t even bother turning the lights off for she already memorized the whole area. It was still afternoon so she didn’t really have to worry about such. Plus, she had been there a lot before. If there’s someone who should be afraid, it would be the infamous ghost for Seohyun was already on the peak of her frustration.

She carelessly pushed the creaking wooden door, too old that it created terrible sounds. The girl could care less though. She just flickered the light switch and strode to the wall wherein she had doodled on the last time she went there.   

Her enlarged nostrils flared as she placed her painting tools on the cold cemented ground. She immediately rummaged through the bag for a medium-sized brush before she grabbed the pail of black paint.

The current wood panels were completely blank, representing the hollow spaces of her mind. Nevertheless, her right hand acted in synch with her thwarted and hazy emotions. As soon as the hardened brush loudly slammed the plywood, the room was then filled with violent thuds. And eventually, the unoccupied wooden walls were filled with black patches–furiously scattered in a fuzzy manner.

She thoughtlessly got the tube for the dark blue craft paint and carelessly squeezed on the palette.  Getting a smaller brush, Seohyun painted furious below the blackened area. She wasn’t really thinking of anything to paint about in specific–blurred ideas feverishly flashed through her head and she could only remember the fact that they have passed even before she could clearly grasp them.

But her hand surely worked accordingly. After an hour of unconscious painting, Seohyun halted and dropped the materials. Good thing, she was currently holding a small bottle of bloody red paint so a little amount flowed in the floor only. She finally dropped on the icy cement; her two knees first and had let out some ugly sobs.

She didn’t mind even if her palms were dampened with dark colors of paint, mixing with her hot and salty tears. As for the moment, nothing‘s more important than lashing her disheartened soul out. She didn’t even care about her dehydrated eyes.

She glanced on the piece she had done and became more distressed by such an ugly sight. She believed that the works produced by the artists reflected themselves. And she’s more than well-aware of the fact that she had the ugliest innermost appearances. But as a human being, prone to sensitivity, she was pained by the sight of her mistress through the painting.

She abruptly stood up and frantically wiped her tears away. She didn’t know what got into her for breaking down too easily because that was definitely not her. Most of all, she was supposed to just focus on her studies well and it included the fact that she was supposed to do her obligation as the president of the student’s governing body.

She didn’t also bother cleaning up the mess that she did. No one would even know; after all, she was the only one who would go there. As she felt that she had enough of dramas, she twisted the door knob – only to find out that everyone from her team was outside.

She could only hear their cheerful voices singing the happy birthday song for her as tears brimmed on her eyes. Her staff had actually remembered that it’s her birthday on that day.

//

“Happy birthday Seobaby…Happy birthday to you!”

The girl with different colors of paint smudged all over her face stood frozen as she innocently watched her staff turned into a choir singing the birthday song. She swore she looked far away from the tidy and prim president of the student’s council but that was actually the last thing she would mind.

“Noona, this cake is so heavy so I’d appreciate it more if you’d blow the candles now.” Kai pouted as the girl stayed unmoved, definitely left in awe as she saw all of them right in front of her eyes.

She hesitated but eventually went closer. She gathered the strands of her hair, some soaked from sweat while some were from paint, leaning with a safe distant away from the fire.

“Make a wish!” Some chanted as she blew small nineteen candles in different colors. She hesitatingly closed her eyes; she wasn’t really that much of a believer when it comes to wishes and stuffs. In fact, she wasn’t also the type to celebrate her birthday–she’s too busy and too pre-occupied to hold something unnecessary. Unless Kris was able to prepare something for her, she would let the seventh of June to pass just like any other day.

A loud cheer from her juniors to her fellow seniors echoed in the empty space of their school’s basement.

“Seohyun unnie…Happy Birthday! I really hope the festival that you have prepared will be more than a success! Also, I personally want you to pass the entrance exams in Seoul National University!” Sulli beams, back to her goofy self and contrary to the icy-distant assistant from a while ago.

“That’s right noona! Judging your expression, you have almost forgotten that today’s your birthday.” Chanyeol said in an unimpressed voice, expressing his disbelief on the girl who could remember everything but her own birthday.

Silence then dominated the air as Seohyun kept her stillness over the surprise birthday bash from her stuff. She felt like everything flashed too fast in front of her eyes, as if she was watching a movie which was in a fast forward by the way.

“But…why?” Her voice cracked, slightly audible. “I mean, you guys must’ve hated me so much. And Chanyeol, I was able to remember my birthday. Actually, I was pretty sad a while ago; everyone changed into a whole new person. Even my sweetest Sulli became distant while ago–I was really thinking that you kids have gone tired of your Seo dictator.”

Everyone then chuckled nervously. They have some jokes about her strictness and dictator-like ways. So they were flustered at the fact that the lady was aware of their jokes.

“Well, we wouldn’t deny that anymore, dictator Seo.” Sehun stepped up bashfully. “But I swear noona; we were all just acting a while ago.” He added, even raising his arms to show his sincerity.

“Seohyunnie, these kids kept you distracted by changing, in order to cover up this whole birthday party for you.” Sooyoung said as a matter of fact. “Plus, I doubt if these kids would bring themselves to hate the woman who have raised them up from being a bunch of immature juveniles. Especially these boys…?” Yoona added, pointing at Kai and Sehun for being too head-over-heels for Seohyun.

Seohyun heavily sighed, not because of any negative feeling but rather due to the warmth they have let her heart feel. Even through words, they were able to gently the numb layers of her heart. She eventually sobbed, alarming the rest.

“Please don’t cry on your birthday!” They pleaded, each of their faces plastered with worry. They then thought that their cold act on her was too much–who wouldn’t come into such reaction especially if it’s on your own day of birth? She probably had thought that they have grown mad at her already.

Seohyun feverishly wiped her tears from her face before she chuckled softly, thankfully. “Silly…I was just really, really grateful for having members like you guys.” She then softly squealed when Sulli and some female juniors hugged her, squeezing her softly in bliss.

“Well then, the cold and iron heart of our dictator had finally melted! What are we waiting for? I’m hungry!” Xiumin grinned, earning a smack from Seohyun herself. Both Sooyoung and Yoona just agreed with him, all of a sudden hungry upon hearing about the foods.

“Oh, we might as well bring this party in the office?”

Everyone was surprised but nonetheless roared in joy as Seohyun, the uptight president of SM High, finally decided to open up.

//  

“Hyun, I believe that it’s not too late for you to make a change…”

Seohyun was startled upon hearing her best friend‘s voice, breaking her deep thoughts on the day. She was really glad celebrating her birthday with her officers yet the thought of still not able to see her boyfriend made her feel incomplete.

She unknowingly left the room filled with proud kids; dragging herself to the place she would usually see him. The small window pane at the end of the hallway in the third floor of their department’s building could offer the best view to the basketball court outside the gym.

“What are you talking about?” Seohyun asked in spite of the fact that she knew too well what Yoona was talking about. And it was pretty obvious from the doe-eyed girl when the younger girl’s tone came flat–as if it’s a statement. She even noticed how Seohyun fidgeted and shifted her eyes away from the glass.

“Seo Joohyun, why do you even bother hiding it from me when I know you too well, though not that much compared to Kris Wu? That long-legged man was just a tad bit better than me though…” She wittily remarked, facing the window which showed an empty court. She then realized why Seohyun’s face was all gloomy; definitely because of him.

Seohyun faintly smiled, leaning her back on the window. She wanted to smack herself for being too obvious. But then again, she also knew herself that Yoona could just really read her well. “Well, I’m going back to the room–the kids probably thought I was neglecting them–”   

“They wouldn’t think that way if you weren’t making them feel accordingly.” Yoona frankly stated. “But honestly, even with mixed emotions, those kids never failed to see what’s good in you–you just have to see it for yourself as well.”

Each and every word pierced through her soul as she stood still in front of the older girl. The way Yoona had put her thoughts into words was as harsh as how a gust of cold air could prickle an exposed skin. She was also pretty blunt but Seohyun was sure that Yoona’s also just sincere. And with a sigh of defeat, she faced the doe-eyed lady again.

“To be honest with you unnie, I was alarmed with how they acted a while ago. For a moment, the way I treated them flashed at the back of my head and I admit I grew accustomed to how they shower me their respect and undivided attention. I think that I must do my part and treat them equally warm.” She confessed.

“It’s just that…Kris had never acted so distant before.” With her lips quivering and her voice trembling, Yoona was sure Seohyun was just about to tear up again. “When you guys said that you were all just feigning such acts, I was relieved that maybe Kris started all of these. Yet, I couldn’t find him for the past hour.”

Yoona softened and immediately walked up to her. She hugged her firm. “Silly, don’t worry about it anymore. I’m pretty sure the kids would love to excuse you for the day.” She whispered, patting the back of Seohyun.

She then wiped the younger girl’s tears and chuckled. “Knowing your lover, he’s still be waiting for you in the shed outside the school.”

//

Seohyun’s heart began to beat much louder and faster as she found the lean back of the towering guy. Just as what she had imagined, he was with his huge bike as his sports bag slung freely on his left shoulder. Even if he had said that he wouldn't be waiting for her, he still did.

She ran as fast as she could, until she hit his back hard, even pushing Kris a little forward from the impact. Her slender arms automatically wrapped onto his waist, securing him in her arms.

The man who didn’t even have to look on who had back-hugged him softened as he heard her heart beating ever so loudly against the skin on his back. He could also hear her hitched breath which erased his worries.

“Do you know…how much I love you?” She slowly asked as she tried to calm down her senses. “My pride was tarnished the moment they saw me in the basement crying and I even left the delicious food prepared for my birthday–all just for you.”

She didn’t know if her grip on him became too weak or Kris was just too strong for her but she felt much better when he unwrap her arms on him and had her head rested on his chest instead.

“Silly, even without those signs, I could tell that in your eyes. No matter how you tried to look so unconcerned, I could catch a glimpse of your stressed soul when I only sprained my ankle during training, of your meeting eyebrows every time I would extend hours on the court and even your red cheeks when I’m hugging you in public.” His husky voice sent thrilling shivers down to her spine, as if to support the fact that she’s the one head over heels in their relationship.

But she could care less and looked up to him. “You’re not angry with me now?” She asked with a soft and careful tone. Kris acted like he was still mad by diverting his eyes on something else. And so Seohyun tip-toed to reach the sides of his face and suddenly, daringly, showered him pecks all over his face.

From his small forehead, his two perfect eyebrows, his eyelids, the long bridge of his nose, his fluffy flushed cheeks and down to his distinct jaw-line; each kiss electrified him. And he couldn’t suppress the grin plastered on his face so the girl repeated her question.

Kris groaned in disbelief. “I doubt it if I would be able to resist your sincere apology…” He implied that Seohyun used her charms for him to give up.

“Of course not! And I’m really sincere you tall boy…” She pouted.

“If you say so…Happy Birthday Hyun. You don’t have to force yourself though. I would still be in love with you and your mood swings. After all, I fall in love with the girl you originally were…”