The morning news had warned them about the hot temperatures that would occur that very afternoon and it was Hyukjae’s fault not to care about it. The sun was grilling the ground and he could only curse as he rushed his way back to his apartment. It was only a few blocks more.

“I should at least bring an umbrella.” He muttered as he tried to walk under the shadows of the tall buildings around him. The temperature was unpleasantly hot and he felt like taking off all of his clothes to make him feel more comfortable.

He fastened his steps once he saw his apartment complex and rushed inside after he opened the door with his flat’s card. The apartment’s lobby was empty and Hyukjae sighed in relieve as coldness of the room hit his boiling skin.

He jabbed on the elevator button and soon the metal door was opened for him. He pressed on his flat’s floor before the door closed once more and brought him up to his floor. He dragged himself out from the elevator before he made his way to his flat’s door and opened the locked door.

“I’m home…” He said as he closed the door and locked it back before he took off his shoes and placed it neatly on the shoe rack by the side of the door. He got no reply though but he chose not to mind it. He made his way to the kitchen, passing the living room that connected the flat’s foyer with every part of the apartment, stopping when he spotted a certain figure on the living room.

He smiled when he found his boyfriend silently sleeping on their white L shaped couch. He laid his body facing their flat screen TV, ignoring the sounds that the TV made as he kept himself drowning in the dreamland. A bottle of juice was left on the coffee table and pile of papers were scattered on its sides.

The curtain was wide opened, so does the door that connected the living room to the balcony. Hyukjae could felt the wind blew from the opened door but looking at his boyfriend’s sleeping figure, he chose to close the door and just turned the air conditioner on. Kyuhyun was sleeping topless on their couch, his muscles flexed a bit every time he unconsciously moved his body. His shirt was neglected on the floor and Hyukjae could see the thin fabric was damp with sweats.

Hyukjae went to their bedroom and took one of Kyuhyun’s shirts and towels before he went back to the living room. Patting Kyuhyun’s tight a bit to wake him up, he wiped Kyuhyun’s chest and abdomen with the towel before he placed the new shirt on Kyuhyun’s chest.

He put Kyuhyun’s used shirt on their laundry basket in the bathroom before he went back to the living room and cleaned the mess that Kyuhyun made. He silently arranged Kyuhyun’s paper before he took the juice bottle and stored it in the fridge.

“You’re home?” He heard Kyuhyun grunted in his nap and as he went back to the living room, he saw Kyuhyun blinked several times before he pulled himself from the couch and stretched his muscles, his unused shirt fall to the ground on process.

“Kangin let me leave work early.” Hyukjae said as he saw Kyuhyun bended to pick his shirt and wore it before he put his glasses on. “You’re not working today?”

“I don’t have to come today. I can work from home.” He said as he settled back on the couch beside Hyukjae and the smaller man squatted closer for a cuddle. “You’re warm.” Kyuhyun commented as he lingered his arms around Hyukjae’s slender figure.

“And you’re sweating.” Hyukjae said, planting a kiss on Kyuhyun’s throat.

“Blame the temperatures. It’s really hot out there.” Kyuhyun said in annoyance while Hyukjae laughed in return. “I felt like being grilled inside here.” He commented.

“You’re just too lazy to close the door and turn the air conditioner on.” Hyukjae spat while Kyuhyun grinned in return. “You know what, I know what we should do now.” He said, getting up from the couch and dragged the tall man with him.

He took the towel that he used before and guided Kyuhyun out from their flat to the elevator. “Where are we going?” Kyuhyun asked but Hyukjae said nothing as he pressed the button to the ground floor and the metal door closed in front of them.

The door opened once they reached the ground floor and Kyuhyun chuckled in amusement when Hyukjae guided him to the apartment’s indoor pool. “Hyukjae… The pool is closed. They’re fixing things inside.” Kyuhyun said as he pointed at the closed sign by the pool door but Hyukjae stubbornly sneaked inside the pool area.

“It’s supposed to be opened back by tomorrow so it should not be a problem if we go now.” He said while Kyuhyun shook his head in amusement and followed Hyukjae from behind.

The pool was empty and it looked perfectly fine. The water was clear and the small creak of it looked so inviting. “You’re seriously going to swim with your trousers?” Kyuhyun asked as he saw Hyukjae took his shirt off and he heard a chuckle in return.

“Who said I’m going to put my trousers on?” He asked back and Kyuhyun felt like his jaw was dropping when Hyukjae took his pants off, together with his underwear. The smaller man giggled as he got in the water.

“What should I do with you, Lee Hyukjae?” Kyuhyun asked as he laughed at himself, watching his boyfriend skinny dipping on their very own apartment’s pool. “First, trespassing, now swimming ?” He asked while Hyukjae splashed him water in return.

“You love me, Kyuhyun.” Hyukjae said and Kyuhyun finally gave in. He first took his shoes and shirt off before his pants and finally joining his boyfriend on the pool. Kyuhyun swam to Hyukjae’s side and pulled him slightly in the water making the smaller man gasped in shock.

“Bastard.” Hyukjae spat as he hit Kyuhyun on his chest while the taller male laughed in return. Hyukjae bit on his shoulder in annoyance while Kyuhyun laughed even harder as he circled his hands around Hyujae’s middle. He always enjoyed it when nothing separated him from his boyfriend, not even a single layer of fabric.

“Should we do this more often?” Kyuhyun asked as he pulled Hyukjae closer and the smaller male hummed as he lingered his hands around Kyuhyun’s neck. Massaging the nape of his lover, Hyukjae muttered a simple yes as he pulled him in a brief kiss.

“If we don’t get caught.” He continued as he broke the kiss and Kyuhyun nodded before he pulled him into another kiss.

It wasn’t his intention to stare, Hyukjae swore, but he just couldn’t turn his attention from Kyuhyun as the taller male stretched his stiff muscles. His polo shirt was slightly lifted, showing him the well built frame that he hid underneath the fabric. Hyukjae heard him groaned a bit as he got up from the floor, it was obvious that his body was aching, blame Joonmyun for making him slept on the floor.

The little boy was sprawled on the bed, half of his face was buried on the pillow as he slept on his stomach. He watched Kyuhyun turned him slowly so now Joonmyun was sleeping on his back and covered the little boy’s body with the blanket. He closed the curtain of Joonmyun’s window to prevent the sunlight that could disturb the boy’s nap before he gathered Joonmyun’s toys and placed it on Joonmyun’s toy box.

“Hyukjae…” Kyuhyun was a bit taken aback when he saw Hyukjae by the frame of Joonmyun’s door but he managed to offer him his best smile which made the smaller male shuddered.  “I didn’t see you there.” He continued and Hyukjae said nothing as he smiled back at him. It had been a while since he last saw Kyuhyun. The taller male never missed the chance to visit his house and Hyukjae never missed the opportunities that he had to run away from him. It was silly, to be honest, but it was still hard and overwhelming for Hyukjae to see him around.

“You look tired.” Kyuhyun said as he placed Joonmyun’s crayon box on the drawer while Hyukjae could only sigh in return. He noticed, he thought. Kyuhyun was always the one with sharp eyes and heedful nature, Hyukjae remembered.

“Works.” Hyukjae said as he took a step backward when Kyuhyun joined him in the corridor, closing the door for Joonmyun’s bedroom.

“You need some rest.” Kyuhyun suggested and Hyukjae hummed in return. He felt his body tensed a bit when Kyuhyun rubbed his back and smiled a bit. “You’re not that strong, Hyukjae. Don’t tire yourself much.” He continued as he softly squeezed Hyukjae’s shoulder. His touch was warm and his words were full with concern. Hyukjae felt his heart was ready to explode anytime soon.

“And I’m not that weak either, Kyuhyun. I still can manage…” Hyukjae said, defending himself not to look weak and small in Kyuhyun’s eyes.

“I know.” The taller male said. “Get some rest, I’ll be downstairs if you need me.” He continued before he made his way to the first storey of the house while Hyukjae said nothing as he felt his heart raced in an insanely way.

It was Saturday afternoon and Hyukjae who usually stayed home for weekend, chose to go to his office and work for a while before his supervisor kicked him out from the building and told him to have some rest. He made his way to his bedroom and laid his tired body on the bed. His muscled relaxed as it came in contact with his fluffy bed and his eyes felt heavy all of the sudden.

He heard a knock on his bed but he could only grunt as he curled himself into a ball in return. The door was opened, revealing Kyuhyun who came inside with a cup of warm tea on his hand. He placed it on the nightstand while Hyukjae mumbled something incoherent as he caught a glimpse of the taller male on his side which made Kyuhyun chuckled a bit. He was tired and Kyuhyun knew it.

“Sleep, beautiful…” He said and Hyukjae purred as he felt Kyuhyun’s strong and warm hand caressed his hair. He was ready to push Kyuhyun away, but he was just too tired to did so. Kyuhyun… And he felt his lips on his temple. Kyuhyun was always his gentle and thoughtful man, he pampered him all the time and Hyukjae just couldn’t get enough when Kyuhyun treated him with such affection and love like that. That might be the reason why Kyuhyun always hold a special place in his heart, Hyukjae thought.

“I love you, baby.” Kyuhyun whispered when he thought Hyukjae was already deep in his slumber. “I love you so much.” He continued as he planted a kiss on Hyukjae’s forehead while the smaller man said nothing as he felt his body stiffened by the touch.

“If only one day you forgive me and take me back… I won’t ever let you down again.” He mumbled and Hyukjae felt his heart bleed at Kyuhyun’s plea. Don’t believe him, Hyukjae! He’ll hurt you again… Kyuhyun placed one last kiss on his forehead before he left the room and Hyukjae turned his body to look at the closed door, one shed of tear escaped his eyes.

Kyuhyun… He curled into a ball once more and sobbed as his mind kept on repeating Kyuhyun’s plea and words. He wanted to believe him so bad, he wanted to run into Kyuhyun’s arms again. He wanted to feel his love again. But what if Kyuhyun hurt him again? What if he left him again? The doubt just couldn’t leave him alone and it drove him crazy. The uncertainty was always there to stop him from going back to Kyuhyun’s arms. It was always there to remind him what the taller male had done to him. Hyukjae just didn’t know what to do anymore.

***

It was still three when Hyukjae woke up from his nap and made his way out from his room. Joonmyun was still sleeping in his room and as he went downstairs, he couldn’t found Kyuhyun by the living room. He went to the kitchen only to find Kyuhyun sitting on the stairs that connected the terrace to the backyard. Hyukjae took a bottle of strawberry juice and opened the backdoor, making the taller male turned his attention to him. Kyuhyun smiled and Hyukjae frowned.

Hyukjae saw a box of cigarettes on the empty spot beside Kyuhyun and a lighter on its top. One cigarette was clamped by Kyuhyun’s forefinger and middle finger while a tint of smokes erupted from it. Kyuhyun turned his attention back to the yard in front of him as he pocketed his cigarette box and lighter, offering Hyukjae a space beside him.

“You smoke again?” Hyukjae asked and Kyuhyun chuckled as he heard the question. It was the same old Hyukjae, judging him, his being and his doing. Not that he minded it though, it was a silent justification that Hyukjae paid him an attention.

“Not always.” Kyuhyun answered as he on his cigarette rod before he blew a small amount of smoke to the air, making the smaller male frowned even deeper.

“So you did smoke.” Hyukjae said. The fact that Kyuhyun went back to his old bad habit irritated him. He remembered Kyuhyun was an active smoker by the first months of their relationship. He remembered nagging Kyuhyun for it while the taller male stubbornly continued his bad habit. It took him three month and one threat to end their contact to make Kyuhyun stopped and it had been years since he last Kyuhyun with the sinful tobacco rod.

“I won’t smoke in front of Joonmyun, you have nothing to worry about.” Kyuhyun said as he put the rod back between his lips and it once more. I’m worried about you… Hyukjae said inside his mind but he chose not to say it out loud. After all it was still messy and unnamed what happened between them. “So how are you doing?” He asked.

“I’ve been better.” Hyukjae said. He recalled what was happening the past weeks. Papers were piling up, waiting to be done and his body started to show him the indication of fatigue. He kept on skipping lunch and worked overtime, he got no time for rest. It had been awhile since he last went to the gym to exercise due to his work and he rarely had time to just freshen up his body. “You?”

“I’m good.” Kyuhyun said and Hyukjae saw a small smile appeared on his face. “It’s just I never see you around.” He stated bluntly and Hyukjae felt his body tensed a bit.

“Yeah, works.” Hyukjae reasoned. “I guess I’m just too occupied with it.” He continued. “I see you have lots of free time, right? You came here often.” And Kyuhyun chuckled at his statement.

“I try to spend as much time as I can here.” Kyuhyun said bluntly.

“And why is that?” Hyukjae asked while Kyuhyun said nothing as he turned his attention to Hyukjae who was sitting on his side. His eyes were blared with longing and love while Hyukjae felt his body stiffened at the gaze.

“Are we going to have a real conversation here, Hyukjae?” Kyuhyun asked. “Because I feel like we are.” He continued.

“It’s now or never, Kyuhyun.” Hyukjae said. “Besides, I really need a closure.”

“You know why.” Kyuhyun said which made Hyukjae frowned once more.

“Frankly, I don’t.” Hyukjae stated. “I don’t see the point why you kept coming here and playing around with my nephew. I just don’t get it.”

“I know you know, Hyukjae.” Kyuhyun said. “You know I want to fix the mess I made before, I want to redeem my mistakes and I want you back. You know it clearly.”

“And I remember you knew that I don’t want it.” Hyukjae said, trying to keep his calm when his heart felt like it was going to burst out from his middle. “Why bother?” He asked.

“I won’t stop, Hyukjae.” Kyuhyun said. “I left you once and that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. I want you back. I just want us to start over again.” He continued.

“Have you ever thought about me?” Hyukjae asked and he felt like hurting inside his heart.

“All the time, Hyukjae.” Kyuhyun said in whispers.

“Then why are you doing this to me?” Hyukjae asked again. “I’m dying here, Kyuhyun. I’m tortured every time you’re near. I’m hurt just looking at you. Why can’t you leave me alone?” A drop of tear fell and the others followed, Hyukjae just can’t stop them.

“Is that really what you want?” Kyuhyun asked but Hyukjae gave him no answer, instead the smaller man turned his attention away from the taller male. “Tell me, Hyukjae. Is that really what you want? You want me to stay away from you?” But still Hyukjae remained silent.

Tears kept falling from his eyes as he looked away from Kyuhyun while the taller male did nothing other than gripping on his own locks. Hyukjae bit his lip to stop him from sobbing. He told himself to stay strong but he just can’t face Kyuhyun. No, he couldn’t.

It felt like years, both stayed without saying anything, hearts tearing apart. Hyukjae took a glimpse of Kyuhyun and saw the taller male smiled in defeated at him. He knew by heart Kyuhyun was hurting inside, he could see it from his eyes but he chose not to mind it.

Kyuhyun sighed as he took one of his cigarettes and lighters before he put the rod on his mouth and tried to light it. It was when Kyuhyun tried to burn the rod with his lighter, Hyukjae spontaneously gripped his wrist to prevent him from doing so.

The smaller male pulled himself away from the taller one while Kyuhyun could only watch him as he took the cigarette from his mouth. “It’s not good for you.” Hyukjae said like he used to when Kyuhyun tried to smoke again.

“You know what’s bad for me, Hyukjae.” Kyuhyun said. “And you always know what best for me.” He continued as he ditched his cigarette, turning his attention to the smaller male who was shuddering on his side. “You are the best thing that I’ve ever had… You know it… But why can’t you let me to win you back?! Why?!” Kyuhyun exclaimed in frustration and Hyukjae felt his heart was breaking when a single tear escaped Kyuhyun’s sharp eyes.

“Don’t play victim, Kyuhyun. You left me, that’s the end of our story.” Hyukjae said as he got up from the stair and stormed inside the house but Kyuhyun stopped him from leaving.

“You want us to talk, Hyukjae.” Kyuhyun said. “We’re not done.” He continued.

“We’re done, Kyuhyun! There’s nothing left for us!” He exclaimed. “I’m sorry, Kyuhyun, but I can’t take you back. I can’t. I don’t want to start over. I don’t want to have anything to do with you anymore. Please, if you l-“

“I love you, Hyukjae.” He said it bluntly and Hyukjae heard it clearly. The smaller male shook his head as another tear fell from his eyes.

“If you do love me, let me go.” Hyukjae said.

“No!” Kyuhyun exclaimed in determination which made Hyukjae cried even more. “That’s not fair, Hyukjae. You’re being unfair. I can’t let you go. I can’t.” He stated. “I can’t live, Hyukjae… without you around.”

“I can’t live without you either.” Hyukjae said. “But you left me before. You made your choice, now it’s time for me make my own decision.”

“You love me…” Kyuhyun said. “I know you still love me. Take me back, Hyukjae. We’ll start over again. I’ll do anything to make you happy. Please…” He pleaded but Hyukjae said nothing. He only shook his head which made Kyuhyun pleaded even more.

The taller male pulled him into a hug. He held him close without any sign of letting go while Hyukjae could only cry in his arms. He could feel Kyuhyun cried on his shoulder. Kyuhyun… his strong man was begging at him, pleading for him to take him back. Kyuhyun was a mess.

Hyukjae cupped Kyuhyun’s face and wiped the tears from Kyuhyun’s cheek. He leaned his face closer and sealed their lips together while Kyuhyun responded right away, circling his hands around his middle as he pulled him closer. Kyuhyun was desperate and he held Hyukjae as tight as he could, he wouldn’t ever let him go while the smaller male caressed his cheeks as he devoured his lips.

“I love you…” Kyuhyun said as he broke the kiss and Hyukjae cried silently in his hug. Kyuhyun pulled him into another kiss but Hyukjae pushed himself away from the taller male.

“I’m sorry, Kyuhyun…” He said, as he stormed to his room. Kyuhyun could only watch the door in front of him being slammed hard, his world once again crumbling apart.

“Oh my god, Hyukjae! He’s a hottie!” It was Sora who squealed like a groupie when she stepped inside the kitchen where Hyukjae busied himself preparing the dishes for their Christmas dinner with their mother. Hyukjae laughed a bit as her sister blabbered about how handsome his boyfriend was while their mother chuckled as she watched her eldest’s behavior.

“Act on your own age, lady. You have a son for god’s sake.” The middle aged woman said as she glared at the older Lee while said woman paid her no heed.

“Mom! Can’t you see that hottie over there? That’s your soon to be son-in-law!” She said in glee, making the youngest blushed a bit. “He’s quite a catch, Hyukjae!” Sora exclaimed making Hyukjae laughed a bit.

“Kyuhyun is a good guy.” Their mother commented as she peeked at the living room where Kyuhyun spent his time with Joonmyun and Joonmyun’s granpa, her husband. She could see her husband was interrogating Kyuhyun with tons of question but the tall man answered each one of them with smile on his face. He looked comfortable, not to mention baby Joonmyun was falling for him already.

“Joonmyun likes him so much.” Hyukjae said, giggling when he saw Kyuhyun lifted Joonmyun to his laps and played with the baby of the house.

“So how is it going on between you two?” Sora asked in curiosity as she sat on the counter’s chair, facing Hyukjae who was cutting some vegetables for their meals, making the younger blushed a bit.

“Mind your own business, noona.” He said in embarrassment, feeling a bit shy to brag about his relationship with Kyuhyun in front of his own sister and mother.

“You’re no fun, Hyukjae! Tell us! Come on!” The taller said childishly and Hyukjae could only sigh as their mother asked him the same question.

“Well, he’s amazing.” He said, his face boiled in embarrassment when his sister . “He’s fun, caring, and mature. He’s nice. He brought me to meet his parents a couple of days ago.” Hyukjae continued.

“You’re really serious with him, aren’t you?” His mother asked and Hyukjae silently nodded at her.

“You like him, mom?” Hyukjae asked and he couldn’t be happier when he saw her smiled at her.

“Of course, baby.” The lady said. “He’s wonderful.”

Sora helped him preparing their soup when he saw Kyuhyun joined them on the kitchen. He was folding his sleeve until it reached his elbow and chatted with Hyukjae’s sister a bit. It was just a common talk about Kyuhyun’s job and family and Hyukjae’s smile became wider as he listened to Kyuhyun’s voice.

“What’s with the smile?” Kyuhyun asked as he turned his attention to Hyukjae who was cooking across the counter while the said man playfully joked at him, showing his tongue at the taller male making him chuckled in return.

“Having fun?” Hyukjae asked and Kyuhyun by showing his tongue just like what Hyukjae did earlier to him, the smaller male whined in annoyance. “Kyu, there’s some juice in the fridge if you want.” Hyukjae said as he pointed at the fridge with his spatula and the taller male hummed as he took the bottle and filled his glass with the fresh juice.

He finished half of his glass before he approached Hyukjae who was standing near him. He offered Hyukjae to finish the rest of the juice and as the smaller male took the glass from him, Kyuhyun lingered his hand around Hyukjae’s middle.

“Food smells good.” Kyuhyun commented as he placed a kiss on Hyukjae’s shoulder, not minding Hyukjae’s sister and mother who was there with them while Hyukjae blushed a bit as he jabbed the taller male’s middle.

Both shared a joke to each other when they heard Joonmyun’s loud squeal from the kitchen door, calling his new favorite person as he clumsily walked inside the room. “Your fan is here.” Hyukjae commented as he saw Joonmyun made his way towards Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun laughed as he kissed Hyukjae’s temple before he approached the little boy.

“Here you go, buddy.” He said as he lifted Joonmyun up, making the little boy squealed in return.

“You must marry him no matter what!” Sora said once Kyuhyun and Joonmyun left the room while Hyukjae could only blush when his mother said the same thing.

Joonmyun was devastated when Kyuhyun didn’t show up the moment he woke up from his nap time or by the next morning. He pleaded his mother to call Kyuhyun and asked him to come while the young woman could only shook her head and informed him that Kyuhyun wouldn’t be able to come for a while. They boy cried and Hyukjae felt his heart broke.

Joonmyun was crying so hard and Hyukjae felt nothing but guilt as the little boy sought for his warmth. If only he knew that this stupid uncle of his was the one who pushed his favorite person away. “I want to see uncle Kyu.” He cried once Hyukjae lifted him to his laps.

“Ssshhh… Baby boy.” He whispered as he carefully rubbed the boy’s back. “Uncle Kyu has a lot of things to do, baby, that’s why he couldn’t make it.” He lied, everyone knew he was lying. Kyuhyun was more than willing to come and play with Joonmyun. It was Hyukjae who told him to go. “He’ll come, okay? But you have to be patient.” Hyukjae said at the sobbing boy on his lap.

Joonmyun nodded his head a little but he couldn’t stop his tears from falling. The boy clutched on his chest and Hyukjae lifted him up and rocked his body slowly. “Can I talk to uncle Kyu?” He asked in whisper and Hyukjae just couldn’t say no.

“We’ll try to call him, okay?” He asked, giving up to the boy and he got a nod in return. He made Joonmyun sit on the empty chair beside his and took out his phone. He remembered saving Kyuhyun’s number by their first encounter, it was because Kyuhyun promised Joonmyun to call him.

He took his time, looking for Kyuhyun’s number and made his call. The call went straight to the voice mail. Joonmyun was whining, asking for him to try once more and once he did, he heard Kyuhyun’s voice.

“Yes?” Kyuhyun asked, he sounded so tired and Hyukjae felt his heart was tearing apart. He didn’t know what to say, he felt a knot on his throat, preventing him from speaking. “Hyukjae?”

“I-I… Kyuhyun, Joonmyun is asking for you.” Hyukjae said. “He wants to talk.” He continued and he heard Kyuhyun sighed on the end of the line. Hyukjae let the boy took his phone and brought it near his ears.

“Uncle Kyu…” Hyukjae heard the little boy whimpered as he called his favorite person and he could see him sobbing. It took Kyuhyun time to coax him and the boy stopped sobbing after a while. Hyukjae could only smile as he watched his nephew giggling in the call.

Joonmyun gave him back his phone but the call hasn’t ended yet. “Hello.” Hyukjae said as he brought the mobile near his ear.

“Hey…” Kyuhyun said and Hyukjae melted as he heard his voice. That soft yet deep voice that he loved so much.

“I’m sorry to bother you.” Hyukjae said and he heard Kyuhyun chuckled on the other side of the call.

“Don’t mind it.” He said. “I told him that I wouldn’t be able to come for a while.”

“I’m sorry.” Hyukjae said in guilt.

“Don’ be, Hyukjae.” The taller said in understanding.

“I-I should hang up.” Hyukjae said. “Thank you, Kyuhyun.”

“Yes.” He heard the taller man hummed in response. “I love you, Hyukjae.” He said nothing in return, instead he hung up the call. Why would happen if I said that I love him back? Hyukjae thought as he stared at the display of his phone.

***

Kyuhyun thought he was hallucinating. He certainly was, when he saw Hyukjae and Joonmyun by the front door of their apartment. He just couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the smaller man standing right in front of him, holding the hand of the boy that he adored so much. It had been a week since he last came to Hyukjae’s house and he missed them like a lunatic. He was dying to see them and there they were, standing in front of him.

“Uncle Kyu…” Joonmyun broke down into tears the moment Kyuhyun opened his door for them and stepped forward to reach out for Kyuhyun’s warmth while the taller male silently lifted him up from the ground and pulled the boy into his embrace.

“Hey, baby boy…” He whispered as the little boy buried his face on the adult’s crook and cried harder. “God, I miss you so much.” He murmured as he planted a kiss on Joonmyun’s crown while the little boy lingered his hands around the adult’s neck. “Do you know how much I miss you?” He asked at the sobbing little boy.

“I miss y-you too… Uncle Kyu…” He mumbled as he rested his head on Kyuhyun’s board shoulder and clutched on Kyuhyun’s shirt as if his life depended on it, his sobs died down as he felt Kyuhyun’s warm hand rubbing his back.

Kyuhyun carried the little boy to the living room while Hyukjae silently followed them from behind, closing the door behind them before he settled himself on the armchair near Kyuhyun and Joonmyun who were sitting on the couch. Kyuhyun took his time to hold Joonmyun close and played with the little boy while Hyukjae silently watched them from their side. Only God knew how much Kyuhyun missed them.

Kyuhyun took a glance at Hyukjae who was shifting uncomfortably on the armchair. He looked tired and lost, and Kyuhyun had to hold the urge to pull him into his embrace. “Are you okay?” Kyuhyun asked the smaller male and Hyukjae nodded at him silently.

“Don’t mind me.” He said and Kyuhyun turned his attention back to the boy in his hold.

“Uncle Kyu, I’m hungry…” Joonmyun whispered and Kyuhyun smiled at the little boy. Kyuhyun squirmed out of Kyuhyun’s hold and he followed the adult to the kitchen island. He climbed to the chair and sat obediently there while Kyuhyun went to the fridge for food.

“What do you want to eat, Joonmyun-ah?” He asked and the boy grinned as he told Kyuhyun that he was fine with anything. “I’ll make us some fried rice, sounds good?” Kyuhyun asked once again and the boy nodded furiously.

Hyukjae stepped to the kitchen and planted a kiss on Joonmyun’s head. “Happy, baby?” Hyukjae asked and Joonmyun smiled at him as he nodded his head. It had been a week since he last seen Joonmyun smiled so bright. Ever since Kyuhyun stopped coming to their house, Hyukjae rarely seen his nephew’s smile. The little boy refused to eat his meals or go to his school. Joonmyun was so sad and devastated.

Hyukjae offered a hand to help Kyuhyun preparing their meals and after the food was ready, they moved back to the living room and ate their lunch while watching Joonmyun’s favorite movie. Kyuhyun sat on the floor with Joonmyun on his lap and both shared a plate. The boy was giggling as Kyuhyun fed him and it was hard for Kyuhyun not to plant a kiss all over Joonmyun’s face. He just missed the little boy so much.

It was after they finished their meals, Hyukjae washed the dishes for them while Kyuhyun brought Joonmyun to his room once he saw the boy yawned in his laps. Joonmyun snuggled to the pillow once Kyuhyun laid his body on the bed and curled into a ball once the blanket covered his small body.

Kyuhyun sat by the edge of the bed and planted a kiss on the boy’s temple before he left the room. It felt like a dream how he had both Joonmyun and Hyukjae in his flat. The silence and coldness of it turned into warmth and comfort and Kyuhyun loved it already.

Hyukjae was sitting on the couch and Kyuhyun dared himself to join the smaller man on the living room. “He’s asleep.” Kyuhyun said, referring Joonmyun who was sleeping in his room and Hyukjae only nodded at him. Hyukjae didn’t dare to look at him, it was like he was holding something inside and he was afraid to say it out loud.

“I-I’m sorry…” Hyukjae said and Kyuhyun could hear his stammering voice clearly. He sounded so broken and defeated. “I’m so sorry.” Hyukjae said.

“What for, Hyukjae?” He asked. His voice was stern and he could see Hyukjae shivered hearing his menacing tone. He was tired, he was hurt. He wanted to make sure that Hyukjae heard him clearly.

“I shouldn’t have bothering you.” Hyukjae said. “I shouldn’t have come. I just don’t know what to do anymore.” He continued and Kyuhyun sighed as he combed his own hair. It wasn’t the answer that Kyuhyun wished to hear. He just wanted Hyukjae to take him back. He just wanted Hyukjae to apologize for pushing him away. He just wanted him back.

“Joonmyun’s sick.” Hyukjae murmured. “He refused to eat… He doesn’t want to do anything, he only wants to meet you. I shouldn’t have let him… I’m sorry. I don’t mean to hinder you.”

“Hy-“

“This won’t happen again.” Hyukjae stated and Kyuhyun felt his heart bleed. No, he didn’t want that. He needed Hyukjae here, he needed him back.

“W-why are you doing this to us, Hyukjae?” Kyuhyun asked and he could see Hyukjae shook his head in return. “What did I do wrong?” He asked once again as he knelled in front of the smaller male. He was lost, he didn’t know what to do anymore. Kyuhyun was desperate.

“I’ve done anything I can to make you see that I still love you. I did everything to make you forgive me… W-what did I do wrong?” He asked.

“You left me…” Hyukjae whispered and Kyuhyun knew he was losing.

“I know.” Kyuhyun said in whispers. “And I can’t take it back… I wish I could, Hyukjae. But there’s nothing I can do to change it.” He continued. “I can’t do this anymore, Hyukjae. I’m tired… You always run every time we got close. You always avoid me. I… I’m tired.”

“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry.” He said.

“We can’t help it, Hyukjae. I know what I did really hurt you, but we can’t keep on doing this. I-I’ll stop… C-can we just forget what happened and go back being friends? For Joonmyun…” He said and he could see sadness in Hyukjae’s eyes.

“I-is that what you want?” Hyukjae asked.

“God, Hyukjae… No.” Kyuhyun whispered in frustration. “I’m in love with you, when will you believe it that I’m dying for you to take me back?”

“Kyuhyun…” Kyuhyun can’t help it. He just can’t when Hyukjae was there right in front of him. “I love you.” He whispered and Kyuhyun felt his heart stuttered at the confession. He was dying to hear it but his heart bleed as he saw the sadness in Hyukjae’s eyes. “I’m afraid…” Hyukjae whispered and Kyuhyun felt like dying as tears started to fall from Hyukjae’s eyes.

“Hyukjae… Don’t cry.” He whispered as he dared himself to cup Hyukjae’s face. “Please don’t cry…”

“I don’t know what to do, Kyuhyun. I love you… I still love you.” He whispered. “I’m afraid… What if you leave me again? I barely survive when you left… I won’t survive if it happens again.” He said and Kyuhyun could see how scared Hyukjae was. It was all because of his stupidity. He was the one who left Hyukjae and hurt him.

“Hyukjae… That won’t happen. I was stupid to leave you once and I feel nothing but pain. We can try again… Please, Hyukjae…” He said, pulling the smaller male close to him and rested his forehead on the smaller one’s. “Take me back. I’ll find a way for you to forgive me…”

“What if I can’t?” Hyukjae asked and Kyuhyun could see doubt on his eyes.

“You can… We can. We can start over again, baby… God, we’ll figure it out together.” Kyuhyun assured the smaller male, caressing his cheeks with his thumbs as he kept on repeating his words. He knew he could, he knew they could. He knew their love was strong enough for them to start over. He knew and he’ll make sure that Hyukjae knew it.

“I love you.” He whispered as he planted a kiss on Hyukjae’s lips. “God, I love you…” And he knew he was the happiest man on earth when Hyukjae kissed him back.

***