About curiousity and stuffs.

Soosica.

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Sun came, eyes disturbed, breath shallow, eyebrows furrowing, irritation would visit me okay goodbye slumber you sunlight. I bury my face under the blanket trying to get back to sleep but the freaking sunlight won’t let me. Why is the alarm clock not ticking yet? Is it broken? Oh. . Out of battery, I presume. As always forgetting small things that could possible mean that I’m late! Oops. But the members haven’t wake me... or manager oppa. Schedule and schedule and schedule I don’t know how to make out of this.  

 

Most mornings, or not that, we have time to sleep with our crazy schedule— but well, when I have time to restore the need of my body to lay down on a soft mattress, relaxation directly prickled every part of my body. Skin feels so secured, long legs buried in the comforter. Like seriously. Like I haven’t slept on a bed for a decade a century a millennium... okay I’m overacting. To feel such what we call... tranquillity... calmness... serenity. So it’s more of uh— like a lesson learned that when you’re a member of a certain girl group and the high expectation from people is far more important than taking care of yourself most importantly your body, that’s when it hits you, that sleeping is the most precious thing in the world. Ya heard me right, supahdupah precious that I’d trade my diamonds pearls Bvlgari Jimmy Choo’s shoes or what just to— oh God, just to sleep for the whole day. You’re lucky if you’ve got five hours of sleep in the whole twenty four hours—

 

“No...”

 

I was having these thoughts when I think I am hearing my roommate sobbing.

 

Sniff. Sniffing. Sniffing. Sniff.

 

Sobbing.

 

Sniff.

 

“Hmmmnng...”

 

A long sniff.

 

What is this drama again, Sica...

 

My roommate, the woman that I’ve been with for the longest among the members. I know her more than she does. Her quirks and traits and even her habits, I know when she’ll start to get pissed off over something so little that the others think she’s overreacting or when she gets flushed if boys are around her. Or that’s how she get boys, seeing her charmingly flush. I’m a reference, a reference of Jung Jessica, a reference about her eccentric behaviour, you know thirteen years of friendship are long enough to guess what she’s feeling or read her unreadable expression. And at times during interviews or even at the dorm, I’d laugh discreetly to myself reading what she’s veiling deep inside ‘cause it’s hilarious. Really, I mean, if you make out her thoughts. Sometimes I get caught up and she’d looked at me with puzzlement and then I’ll just shook my head, my finger pointing at Taeyeon’s robotic eyes staring at Tiffany’s . Then she’ll burst out into laughter, thinking that I was laughing about the whole byuntaeng moment when clearly, it’s not— it’s her silly brain.

 

I tug my blanket, twisting my face at her. Her back facing me, her arms wrapping around the pillow, long brown curly hair indeed messy with her usual sleeping attire.

 

I don’t think, she slept.

 

Which is somewhat new.

 

“Hey,” I say, trying to wake my raspy voice.

 

And when I finally had the courage to wake my five senses. I decided to move closer to her, my hand nuzzling her hair.

 

“Sica, why are you crying?”

 

“Taecyeon... Taec—”

 

I sigh upon hearing the name. I sigh again. Sighing all these incoherent thoughts. Taecyeon, that guy? Like C’mon... From the start, I know things would just be trampled. Now, look at her, look how trampled she is. What is it about Taecyeon anyway? God knows how I find him ffffugly. Like compared to other idols. He is just so far. He needed to run. So left out.

 

She quivered under my hand, sobbing and sniffing like she did earlier.

 

Oh my. Sica, he’s not even worth your tears.

 

“What about him?”

 

She didn’t answer, instead... okay. This is the bad thing about comforting someone. When you try to comfort, the person cries more and then both of you ended up like an itch. An ant bite. Sica ended up crying even more, I pulled my shirt down, sitting up trying to get a view of her face.

 

“Hey, come here.” I say, grazing her hair downwards.

 

She responds to my action as I see the shifting in her hands to wrap around my waist, her shirt twisted like a tornado and don’t ask me how it happened.

 

First of all, let me explain, Jung Jessica is hot. I won’t deny that. It’s a fact. But having her as my roommate is the other way around. She’s hot for the people who haven’t seen her or for the people who had built a building of curiosity about her. Curiosity. When you get curious, you explore. And if you become curious to Sica, you explore about her and if you’re done exploring about her. You explore in her. The y breathless voice, the fantasizing s, curvy curvier curviest sides, the body shake, the cave. ooh. Cave. The most hidden cave. These things of exploration will never be done ‘cause you will never see her . Tsk. Tsk. How unlucky. Poor people— poor you, you would never get enough of her knowing the curiosity forever lives. I’ll give you a wink in that.

 

Well, I don’t label myself lucky otherwise. I’ve seen her body a lot of times since trainee days. I mean, a lot, and I don’t feel lucky because I’m used to it, I’m used to having her around, when we’re late for an event, coming out of the bathroom staring at her own running towards the walk in closet, her s jiggling, her cave so much present in my eyes, but I repeat, I’m used to it. Although, people nowadays would wish to be in my position. Exceptionally these following years, she bought a house with her family located also, here, in Cheomdangdong so we hardly spent our nights together. Even if the schedule is unbelievably tight, she’d still squeezed in her family moments so she’d be long gone in our dorm for quite some time hence, no s and cave present in my eyes for how many months now okay? And I don’t mind that.

 

“Sooyoungie...”

 

“Sica, what happened?”

 

“He left me.”

 

That. Is. So. Sad.

 

in a sarcastic way.

 

“Oh, why?”

 

“He wants to be in a relationship and you know I can’t be in a relationship.”

 

“Yeah, you date a lot of people.” I say, rolling my eyes.

 

“C’mon that’s not the point. Comfort me.”

 

I lay down beside her, her head rested on my shoulder and I let her body warm against mine. It’s winter so it’s cold, maybe if I hug her I would somehow give the most convincing comfort, ya know, just like the old days. Old friends. I don’t know why I need to explain. Do I have to hug her? Sure of it. It’s pretty normal. Pssh. It’s a conformity between friends.

 

“So, it’s like he left you because you don’t want to enter in a relationship?” I say the words while my hand grooming to hug her, surprisingly she jerk my arm and sided her body even more closer to mine, learning that she intentionally did it, her nose pressed on my cheek, snuggling her arms in my ribcage. Snuggling more, as if petting herself in all skin present in my body. Wait? I don’t know but, our position is kind of... well. In a way, made me uncomfortable... I didn’t know thirteen years of friendship is still in havoc?

But! We’ve done this how many times, believe me. I mean the skinship and all. Skinship is normal— especially on stage like fan service! What am I thinking. I feel like freaking out.

 

Why would I freak out?

 

“Ahuh.” She whispers, her breath tickles.

 

“He just used you. It’s like a way of you know—” I sigh, finding the right words to say. She’s broken. “a way of breaking up with you ‘cause he knows that you don’t do relationships.”

 

I see her shifting her mood suddenly. She looks shattered. Oops.

 

“So you’re making it like a result that he used me? He used—“

 

Here we go again.

 

Sobs.

 

Sobs.

 

Uhhuuhhuhhhmmmpph.

 

Sniff.

 

Sniff.

 

.........

 

I blew out a breath, wiping her little tears, unending emotions showered her expression, like the biggest dilemma I’ve ever encountered with. What a wreck. I didn’t know Jessica was this wreck. Tears were still running in a slow pace. Her curly eyelashes wet.

 

“Stop crying, there probably hundreds of hopeless romantic guys out there who’d die just to date you. C’mon!”

 

I say, in the most cheerful way possible. Uplifting her spirits.

 

Laughing my out loud in my brain, never expected Jessica to be this heartbroken-dramatic-hopeless-teenager you watch in TV like Cady Heron in Mean girls? When Aaron Samuels dumped her for... uhh... uh? Anyway, Sica never cried over someone... over a plain date. Dating guys. Her dates. What. Ever. She calls them. But right now, she is. Sobbing with her swelled heart. Taecyeon... you! Little !

 

“Lesson learned, don’t let the people use you.”

 

“Use me?”

 

“Yes. Yes.”

 

“You think everybody use me?”

 

Okay, wrong.

 

“No. What I mean is—”

 

“You said it.”

 

“No—”

 

“Are you one of them?”

 

“Wha—? No!” I glared disbelievingly at her. “Why would I use you? And what would I use of you?”

 

There was very much sarcastic in my tone.

 

“That’s pretty much inconvincible, something’s wrong with you.”

 

What. Wrong. Me?

 

“What?” I say, lips never moving.

 

 “I know you better than you know yourself.”

 

Likewise.

 

“Am I suppose to be scared?”

 

“Yes, you should.”

 

She held my gaze steadily. Passing a certain unknown connection— a connection like a message with signals from everywhere, feeling like I’m dodging down a lose wire or something. Hoh noh. I know the look she wears. She never gave me that look. She never!

 

“Since when did you become so awkward with me?”

 

Me? Hhhawkward?

 

Hawkward. No. Way.

 

“Awkward? Why would I get awkward to you?”

 

“You’re freaking out Sooyoungie... I know all of your expressions.”

 

I didn’t know I was freaking out. I didn’t know... and I’m not freaking out. Having her body so close to mine? Why would I even freak out? I’m not awkward. Kim Taeyeon the awkward one not the mighty Choi Sooyoung. I. AM. NOT. HAWKWARD.

 

Oh. I couldn’t breath.

 

She’s still looking at me, intently. So intently, that I feel like choking my breath. Where is the conformity of our friendship?! Thirteen years where are you?!

 

What is wrong with me?

 

Why am I freaking out?

 

The worst thing happened, she snuggled her body even more, her arm wrapping around my tummy, even tightening it. I could feel her s. Eep. s. Oop.

 

A little girl is yelling in my brain and subconscious. A while ago, it was cold. And it keep on warming and warming until it became hot. This is not the expectation I am expecting from her absences of four months. Four months wasn’t that long. Thirteen years... a lot longer. Longer than four months. And pffft I’m acting like you— you people— the y sones. Those byutaeying hawkward eyes. Even a wisp of Sica’s cleavage has no escape from those hawkward eyes. Oh crap. Speaking of cleavage. If I lower my chin in just one centimetre or millimetre, my eyes like a hawk would head... I mean direct to the thing that makes people hawkward. And it’s happening in one fleeting moment... my eyes sweeping at her areola then to the ceiling.

 

Areola?!

 

Why is her areola doing there?

 

Duh? Because she has s and s?

 

She’s not wearing a bra!

 

She doesn’t wear bra when sleeping, you are so ed up.

 

What to do? Should I tell her? Like—

 

‘Sica your areola came out, you could hide it back if you want.’

 

That’s hawkward!

 

it! I mean say it!

 

Snapping my thoughts, is no use at all. I tried to calm my senses, my breath became shallower, and I know that she took of notice of that before I had. In my peripheral vision, her eyes were still directing to mine. I know she’s trying to read me like I always do to her. She’s trying to what?! Read me?!

 

No! She can’t possible read my thoughts now! There’s no way that Edward Cullen could make her do it! But... her areola is just so nice... so tempt— SHUT UP!

 

Please make time stop and— or me!

 

“Y—You’re—”

 

I can’t say it!

 

“What?”

 

The shocking expression of mine is clear. So clear that I know, she knew what I’m thinking and feeling. Minutes went. Sweetly agonizingly minutes past, her eyes still reading me, reading me?! Can you believe that?! When I can’t even read her no matter how hard I try! And she can read me!

 

Arrg. Why is life so unfair?

 

Realization settled in my skin, that the closeness of our bodies was not normal for friends. So torturously close. Not to distinguish who’s body is what body is. Confusable state of realization had settled in me. No.

 

“Come shower with me.”

 

She says, smiling. And she was confident. Like a normal thing to do?

 

We’ve done this before, quite. But I’ve already forgotten those memories of taking a bath together.

 

A shower.

 

Okay.

 

What?!

 

Shower with her?! Are you faaacking kidding me?

 

No!

 

“No.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I feel so cold. Eeek.” I wince.

 

She didn’t answer.

 

“Wait.” She says sounding like there are still words waiting to be release. Her tone trapped.

 

She sits up and head in the bathroom. Leaving me. Thank you lord God. I— please don’t make her come back. Please don’t. You know that I’ve been a devoted Christian since then... can you please like make her asleep inside the bathroom? Like seriously. And I could squat on the floor and freak outside the dorm and oh my god, please try to erase hawkwardness in me. Taeyeon might have passed some viruses when I drank her bottle of water yesterday! Yeap! Right!

 

“.” I mumbled, as I place my palm on my head.

 

I directly stood up and jump on the floor, feet tiptoed while taking my exit of our bedroom. In a second, my hand was on its way to the doorknob when instantly I heard her voice from behind me.

 

“Where you going?”

 

She voiced like, a mother who caught her child sneaking out in the wee hours.

 

And as I look back at her. “Break—

 

—fast."

 

Damn.

 

She. Sica. Is.

 

.

 

And I thought I was used to it.

 

"My dear friend of thirteen years, I could be your breakfast, lunch and dinner."

 

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You know there are two things to learn in life, first, I realized how lucky I was. Second, you realize how unlucky you are. 

 

Ooops. y Sones. Unlucky?

 

Huh.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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A/N

Looooooooool.

I couldn't picture Sooyoung in drama mode. lmao.

But I'll try next time.

Whadayathink?

Comments will earn you ies of Jessica. \OO\