Lilac

hydrangea.

A Lilac symbolizes first love, which for Luhan, is one thing he wants to forget.

Luhan has always lived with his heart locked up and his emotions kept inside of him. At the tender age of 16, he experienced falling in love, only to crash at the very end. He went through the process; the first meeting, getting to know each other, that small crush, walls coming down, telling each other stories and secrets, that first kiss, that first date, the first I love you, the first promise. The only problem was it stopped halfway and seemed to reverse. Promises were broken and secrets were kept. The love that arrived suddenly left. 

Luhan gave his whole heart, only to have it thrown back in cracked pieces. You know what they say- everything that falls will break. 

So he did what most people will do with something so broken and fragile. He fixed it up, and kept it from ever breaking again. He built a wall around his heart, and around himself, shielded from the world. Love no longer existed, and he knew better than to give away his feelings so foolishly. He didn't want to be weak. He didn't want to be broken again. He told himself to be strong. The only person who can help you is yourself. The only person you can trust is yourself. Even promises can be broken, and even forever can end. In the end, even in a sea of people, you will always be alone. 

It's been 3 years since the day she left. 3 years for the wall to gradually build up until it covered Luhan completely. Not even his closest friends can climb that wall.  Nobody can really reach inside of him. He was misunderstood by society, labeled different, and he was fine with it. That was his view of the world. That was his reality. You enter the world alone, you leave the world alone. The only difference is if you leave weak or strong. 

Luhan believed he was strong. He had a fortress no one can destroy, not even enter. He was his own man, his own master, he did what he wanted. As long as he had his wall, nobody can look inside of him. Nobody will see any tears he will shed (they won't even care, right?) Nobody will see any fear in his eyes (any weakness you show can be used against you.)  Nobody will be able to break him. He smiles and laughs like nothing's wrong. 

Nobody will know that behind the wall, deep inside, is still the same, broken heart. Still crying. Still waiting to be understood. Still waiting, hoping, wanting to be fixed. 

Still weak.

-

This is pretty short, I guess, just a glimpse into Luhan's world? XD
Sehun makes an appearance in the next chapter and it'll be a lot less... angsty, lol. 

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nightStar
#1
Chapter 2: Luhan huh?? XD