Young Min and me have been best friends since we were little boys. I keep seeing him as a hyung though we are at the same age and go to the same class. Of course, he also treats me as a dongsaeng. Being with him, I feel I am very small and I want to be protected. My house is located next to Young Min so that I often spend my day in his room. Sometimes I sleep overnight there. There is not any distance between us.

  I still remember the first day we met.

--------------Flashback.-------------------

- Hyung? Are you kidding? – The five-age Min Woo pouted – Nonsense!

- This kid! – He glared at me – I’m older than you…

- You’re older than me? – I was burst of laughter – Will I die of laughing? Three months older is not enough to be a hyung, since we're at the same age…

He got angry and pushed me against the wall, before coming closer to my face:

- Call me hyung,… - He smirked - …or oppa, if you want…

- Ok, hyung… - I answered fearfully.

A little Min Woo couldn't defeat a strong Young Min.

------------End flashback.-------------------

However, as he often says, “Life never happens as the way we imaged, and, nothing lasts forever”, our relationship has changed step by step for a certain day that I didn't know. He still kept treating me as a kid but I didn't feel the same thing. I slowly recognized that I am not a straight boy. At that time, he became famous among schoolgirls and started to date with the most beautiful ones. To be honest, I am jealous with them. Each time I see him with a girl, my heart is hurted seriously. But it is my fate, how can I change it?

Today I decide to confess to him. That is my thinking, but… In fact, I am worry. For me, he is the most important one. What will he think when his dongsaeng loves him?  Maybe he will upset, or get angry with me. Or… Will he hate me? Will he look at me like something that is weird? Will he avoid me? No. I can’t lose him easily like that though I know the love between two boys is the craziest thing. I know it may break our friendship. I know it may leads to a worst results but… I have to tell him because I can’t stand this even one more day. He should know that I've fallen for him. He should know that I can’t be his obedient dongsaeng any more. He should know that how hurt I have been and how much I have cried… No matter what happen then, he should be responsible for stealing my heart.

“Ring… Ring…” - The doorbell suddenly rings interrupting my thinking. He comes! An hour ago, I called him and told a lie that I was sick. He seemed to be worry and replied that he will come to me as soon as possible. He is always caring like that but it is not all I need. I want more…

He stands behind the door with a shining smile and red roses on his right hand. Who the heck he is? He is even prettier than those brilliant flowers. This is the first time I have ever been given a romantic gift. And, specially, it comes from the one I love. How fantastic! However, everything now makes no sense, but him. My heart suddenly beat faster and I stand transfixed. I am falling deeply from his charm.

He is seemingly surprised when he sees my strange expression. Oh, no!  I shake my head. I should not be like this. He maybe recognizes my heart. I must subdue all my feeling and wait for a suitable time.

He smiles again and gives me the flowers. 

- Are you fine, Minnie?

“ No, I am not fine completely” – I want to say so but, of course, it is too fool to be speak out.

- I… I am ok now – I receive the roses and try to say with a weak voice. Despite of saying “OK”, I need to make him believe that I’m sick.

He looks at my face distrustfully and then touches my forehead softly.

- Hm… Your temperature is normal. O.K… - He pushes me toward my room – Come in!

I am being overcome by fear.

“Keep calm, Min Woo!”

I go to the kitchen and prepare a glass of orange juice. When I come back to my room, I see him using my computer. Maybe he is searching for something on the internet.

- Hey! – His voice startled me – Wanna watch a ghost film?

- No! – I answer him without thinking – I… I…

I try to find a suitable reason but… How can I say that I'm scared? He will laugh at me. Smiling at my abashment, he whispers into my right ear:

- Don’t worry, Minnie… If you scared, you can hold me…

I hesitate in a moment because of that sneaking face but finally I agree. Anyways, what he said is what I want.

- Dong Hyun hyung said it's a good film… You will enjoy it. – He sits down next to me.
          It is a supernatural horror film named “Hold your breath”: A group of friends on a weekend camping trip find themselves being picked off one by one when one member of the group refuses to abide by the urban myth that audiences can breathe in evil spirits when passing cemeteries. That’s what he tell me before the film starts but I can’t hear these words. My head is totally full of weird things. My confession plan… Oh, no! I don’t really care about that film. And stupid Young Min doesn’t know this.

I hold my pillow tightly and I look at the computer screen with a scary face. Moving closer to him, I’m ready to hug him as soon as possible. I don’t take advantage of him. That’s only because of his permission.

The film is too boring for me since it doesn't have any scene which matches up with my wish. Everything happens normally. It is ridiculous for anyone to scare. But my Youngie seems to be very excited. He focuses on the screen and doesn’t even see that I look at him all the time.

Wait! Did I have any troubles with my eyesight? I can’t believe in what I see any more. From my view, the two main characters move closer to each others. They lean on a deeply kiss. And then… They have . What the hell! I have never seen this before. In spite of the fact that I have not really good point, I’m still an innocent one anyways. This is not what I expected so I want to run away from this situation… Is this a ghost film as they said or a film for adults? My face turns red. So does his face. Everything is being worse and worse. The two characters still continue their work while my heart beats faster and faster. A stranger feeling appears in my body. I feel hot. So hot! “Something” starts to be harder and rises up. Staying like this is not a good choice. However,a small move now can make us more embarrassed. “Hold your breath” – The film is exactly like its name. I can’t handle my breath any more. 

I close my eyes. That’s the only way to avoid what I don’t want to see.

Suddenly, I feel something leaning on my body rudely. Then a thing that is soft, warm and sweat on my lips and fills in my mouth. I open up my eyes: Young Min hyung. What the hell is he doing? He is on top of me. His lips are kissing me crazily while his right hand is trying to take off my shirt. I’m shock. I push him away but it seems to be useless. My move just stimulates his pleasant feeling. No matter how hard I try, he is still nonstops. After undressing me successfully, his hand explores my whole body while I’m dying of being hot. Step by step, his action becomes harder and harder. He hurts me seriously.

-------------------------------------------------------------- End chap 1 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------