You can be anything, they said. You can do everything, they said. Just believe in yourself, they said. So holding on to what 'they said', I became who I am now, do what I want, and believing in myself.

Turning 26 this year, I act like I’m 20, because that's what I want. I dressed up like I’m a girl, because it’s much more comfortable. No heavy thick make up, because it's such a waste of time. Manga, anime, and fairytale are my priority in life, because I like it more than real world.

And I am happy, because I do what they said. Is it? What 'they said' only apply to the age where we were protected from reality, where we don’t need to face other harsh comment, where there's a huge bubble that shield us from thorns and snow and rain and sun.

But as we grow up, grow big, grow tall, the bubble couldn’t hold on to our weight and eventually popped. And hello, welcome to the real world.

Where they judge you by how good looking you are, how expensive your appearance and skills you have.
 

But human learn and observe in order to survive. So learning from what they expect me to be, i created a whole new impression for them.

And that's how I escape the real world and enter my own new world, where I can be me.

"Yah Jini, what are you doing," I quickly minimize my mangafox tab to the fashion sites I’ve been preparing for time like this quickly appear.
 

"Nothing, just checking the latest collection from alexander wang," I said, slightly turning to look at my colleague and search for any abnormality.
 

"You look nice, you cut your hair again?," I randomly guess. But looking at her widening eyes, I know I hit the right spot.
 

"How do I look? Does it suits me?," she began playing with her hair. To tell the truth, she looks the same, only she let down her hair in opposite of her daily bun.

"Yeah, you kind of look like Farrah Fawcet. And looks like your diet works, you can use your chin to kill people now," I said. She laughed, and smiled.

"I don't do diet, but really? You look pretty too, I like your new eyelashes," she said in return. I want to laugh at her words, but restraining myself from doing so.

"Ikr? I went to get this one yesterday, last for 3 months," or forever, since it's my natural eyelashes.

"Anyway, let's lunch together tomorrow, okay," she said and gleefully went back to her seat.

"Girls..," I whispered. I turn back to look at my computer, continue reading my Beelzebub, just another few pages and I’m done for this week update. I imagine people impression if they ever caught me reading manga and fanfics. They probably think I’m weird. Not probably, but absolutely. I snort at the thought, and reach for my phone as the KaTalk's notification popping up.

Back in town. Meet up?

I smiles. Definitely, it's not always my best friend coming back hometown. He's been busy being a photographer since few years back. I send a short reply.

Who's this?

Enough to . Lucky him, he doesn’t need to hide his personality, because what he shows to the world is the real him. Or not. Basically we were best friend because we talk the same alien language.

Haha. Funny. Come on. Or I’ll tell your mom that I’m not your bf.

Tch. The nerves. Look at the one who’s talking. Should i do the same?

Kekekeke. Need to tag along mrs kim, to boast around telling her son is back in town. See u tomorrow. Kiss kiss.

Hug hug.

I sighed, and putting away my phone. Must be hard if Mrs Kim knows that his son ual preference is not natural. He's into man, something that is not publicly accepted in society.

At least for the conservatives minded people. We are an actor, and the world is our stage. The one, who act better, survives.

.:::::.

 

I went home to find home to find my father is home. This is not good. I glance at my mom, showing a very concern look on her face.

"Sit, we need to talk," my dad said. I sat at the further seat from him. I saw my mom's warning look, so i move nearer.

"What do you have at twenty six?" He asked. He’s gonna fumes if I said brains. So I close my mouth, looking down at the floor. The floor suddenly looks much more interesting. But this is not a lecture night, it’s an answer night, since my parents were not talking and waiting for my answer.

"Good job, normal life," I blurted out when I can’t bear the silence anymore. It’s too much for me to handle.

"Is it enough? Being normal?" I snapped my head to look at my father. I don’t understand. I thought by not doing anything bad and against the rules, I made them proud.

"You’re too comfortable. Being sheltered, having your parents taking care of you, feed you, and in the end, still acting like child." I saw my mom looking at me with her teary eyes. This is not good.

"I want you to move out from this house, find place to live alone, and start being independent. You need to start acting like an adult,"

 

I blinked, is my father really serious? Where I’m going to stay? I’m not that close with my relatives, they annoy me, always wanting to know when will I get married or how much I made in a year. Friends? I keep a safe distance with them so they won’t bother me. Practically all I have is my cave with all my manga and action figure collection. And nothing else.

"You have until next week to find new place. You’re going to leave your collections here. Until you can't stand back to fight the reality, then you can get back here,"

 

 

I look at my mom, giving her pleading eyes, puppy eyes, but she shake her head. I bet this is the after effect of having a military officer as a father. I should have seen this coming. With my father, it’s only white and black. For whole my life, I only see white, I expect to see black from now on.

 

.:::::.

 

I bawled in front of JR, i don’t care, he used to see me in my worst condition.

"I can’t believe my father kicked me out. I'm the best daughter in this town," I heard JR snorted. Damn him. I kick his shin.

"And because I’m much prettier than her, that Mina must be the one behind this, to ask the director to sack me. Is it a crime to be this beautiful?" I blow my nose. We were in JR room. I leave the office immediately after Mina gave me the letter. I don’t even know what wrong did I do.

"That's your father’s doing, we both know that," JR voiced out his opinion. Frankly speaking, I knew this is my father plan, just that i don’t understand why.

"Perhaps he wanted you to stand on your own feet, because I know you, you’ve been sleeping in your cave for too long, maybe it’s time to go out and see the world," I know everyone is right, but I don’t think I’m ready yet, to let go of my two different world and live in the real one.

"Come and work with me. We can live together," I wanted so much to say no, but I need to leave. There's no other option.

.:::::.

I unpacked my clothes and put it in the wardrobe. We arrived in Seoul yesterday. I can only bring my clothes, my father strictly checked if I smuggled any of my 'collection'. I am poor instantly. My money was at home. Among all of my precious collections. I went to the kitchen waiting for JR who went out to buy groceries. I’m getting hungry. I look for anything edible in the fridge. As I close the fridge, a blonde woman stands looking at me, expressionless. I shrieked in fear, but she only rolled her eyes. Human then.

"Who are you?" She said. Uhh. I smiled at her, trying to look nice.

"Don’t bother, who are you to JR?" I gawked, .

"Don't you dare to touch him. He's mine," uhh. She's strong. I didn’t manage to answer when I saw JR coming.

"Ren," he said putting the groceries on the table and she turned around and hopping to hug him.

"Oppa~," ohmygerrrd, I almost vomit. The hell, she’s threatening me earlier and now acting all cutesy in front of JR. I raised my eyebrow hoping that JR will take the hint. He saw me and smile. I thought he likes men?

"Jini, this is my partner, Ren, my bff that I told u before, remember?" I saw Ren was eyeing me ups and down, but I care less, because I did the same too.

"Partner, as in, boyfriend?" Jr grinned as confirmation, whew, as a women, I feel threatened by this beautiful new species of men. Ren smirked before he went to sit on the couch. JR still smiling like an idiot. I wanna smacked his head, so in love. He never told me about his current partner anyway. I wonder what went wrong with the previous Aron.

.:::::.

After an awkward morning with JR and Ren, I’m happily following him to his studio. At least I got something to do. He assigned me to the wardrobe section, since he said I got experience with fashion. Pftt. If he said so. I was put under the care of Baekho, whom I think is really creative with his handmade accessories.

"Jini, bring this clothes to the next room," I nodded, carrying the clothes carefully. I enter next door and hang the clothes in the fitting room.

"Which one is mine?" A man is looking at me. A hot one. Fuhh. I look around me to make sure he's talking to me. Yepp. Me.

"Err.. I’m not sure, I’m new here." I went through the clothes, looking at them one by one. Hoping I got a clue from heaven. I looked back at the man who clearly pissed off by now.

"Where's Baekho?" He said. His face changing to red. I bet invisible smokes is coming from his nose too. He turned away from me.

"Give him the red one," I saw Baekho coming from the door. Thank God. I quickly took the red jacket, it suited his temper well. I get back to the shirtless man, unsure of what to do, I handed him the clothe. He furrowed his eyebrow.

"You need to assist Minhyun, Jini, " tsk. Diva much. I help Minhyun to put on the leather jacket extra carefully, who knows if he’s gonna chewed me on if he clothe scratches his skin. I might get sued for that.

I heard chuckles, and instinctively turn around to see Ren look so manly now. He smirked and passed through me, bumping me. Manly or not, he is still a . I went back to arrange the clothes after the devil Minhyun wear his jacket.

When I went out from the fitting room, I saw Minhyun and some girl, kissing. Go get a room, people. Just then the girl broke their kiss. She looked at me and smiled.

"Are you new? Never seen you before." At last, someone with logic.

"Yes, my first day. Can I do anything for you?" I smile. And she laughed, as if I said something funny, but she’s pretty, she hugged me, and nice, maybe.

"Hi, I’m Bora, I’m supposed to take part in today photoshoot," I nodded and went to fetch the clothes for her.

"Do you want me to help you wearing it?" I asked, and she laughed, again. Oh ghad. Now I’m a clown.

"Nope, I can manage. You're too cute for your own good," she said and went off to change.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you for reading. ^^

To unnie mlisa89, nyahaha. Thanks for always channeling me your positive energy you bish.