HANA

The cold wind made me shiver as I watch the curtains flutter with the wind. I pulled the blanket on the bed to feel a bit warmer. The sound of the chimes echoing in the room made me a bit better. Just like the usual, I watched the sun rise again as I rest my head on my desk that is filled with music sheets and other materials for my project. I am facing the window just looking at clear morning sky. My eyes felt bulgy because of crying. That was the first time I’ve ever cried so hard. Likewise, I couldn't sleep at all. Mainly caused by either of the two: I am too scared to sleep again or because of Chanyeol's sweetness which my makes my mind confuse.

I touched my forehead and felt a sudden warm and fuzzy feeling oozing from my heart. I remembered the sweet kiss Chanyeol planted on my head last night. My heart can’t bear just thinking about it. Though it was a kiss for comfort, that guy has been making my heart race, as expected from a natural playboy. I smiled and laughed for falling for a trick like that but in all fairness, the kiss felt somewhat sincere. I should be careful, I better not fall into his trap. Falling in love is forbidden. I must not do something that would hurt me in the end.

I looked at the clock and started preparing for school. As soon as I enter the school premises, the usual stares welcomed me. I practically ignored all of the attention and just went straight to the studio. I was rechecking my project when I decided to close my eyes for a moment and an unusual thing happened, maybe it’s because of fatigue and stress that my body suddenly gave up for a moment that I fell asleep on the floor. A vague picture of someone crying in front of me flashed before my eyes and that made me woke up. I stood up and looked at the time. I slept for almost an hour. I glared at it for I am already running late. I stared and hissed at my things that are scattered all over the floor. I just stood up and muttered, “Stay there. I’m going to clean you up later.”

I went out of the studio and ran as fast as I could towards classroom. I peeked through the front door and there’s no one lecturing yet. I entered the other door so that I won’t catch any attention. I heave a sigh of relief as soon as I find an empty seat. It’s a good thing that the professor is late.

After an hour, boredom starts to reign in the middle of the lecture. I started to doodle then the blank page of my notebook turned into a drawing pad. I turned the next page and started scribbling a familiar name, ‘최하나’. I sighed as I erase her name then blankly looked at the board again.

Thoughts about ‘Choi Hana’ surged into my head, why do I have the same name as you? Why are we so alike? Who are you? Why is Chanyeol still attached to you?

The questions continued flow into my mind. Wait a minute. Why do I care about the two of them?

A certain heaviness suddenly enveloped my heart. It feels like I’m being suffocated. I remembered what Chanyeol said. Am I being jealous? I closed my eyes and tried to erase my thoughts. I better stop myself from thinking not so friendly thoughts about her, she’s resting in a faraway place. Better let her rest in peace, I don’t want to be haunted by a spirit for being jealous. Wait, did I just admit that I am jealous?

                “Aish,” I suddenly blurted.

                “Yes, Ms. Choi. Do you have any question?” the professor said as all eyes looked at me.

                I smiled and said, “There’s nothing wrong sir.”

“Stupid, Hana.” I thought.

 The class ended and I immediately went back to the studio and went on with the work. My classes for today are up until afternoon only. I walked home alone and went on a detour again. Se Ra’s not home today, he went with her father in Jeju Island to talk with the other stock holders of their company. Yes, Se Ra is the heiress of their family, that’s why she needs to know this kind of things. I opened the door and laid down the couch and played my piece for a couple of times. Suddenly, my phone rang. My eyes grew wider as I stare at it. Park Chanyeol sent me a message. I sit up immediately as my heart beat faster as I read it.

                “Hana, are you busy? You want to meet tonight?

I immediately replied and agreed. He even said that I should bring my camera with me. I wonder what he is up to. The night fell and I went there earlier than the said time. I bought some coffee for both of us. I patiently waited for him and heard the sound of a bell from a bicycle. I practically ignored it but I heard someone shouting my name, “Choi Hana!” I averted my eyes to where the voice was coming, it was Chanyeol. He widely smiled at me as soon as he hits the break and alight the bicycle.

                “I’m going to take you somewhere special today,” he said excitedly.

I just blankly stared at him and looked at the bicycle.

                “What’s wrong?” he said as he tilted his head.

                “N-nothing.” I stuttered.

I can’t believe we’re going to ride the bike today. It’s been years since I’ve ridden one.  I put the camera in the basket then he rode the bike and signalled me to ride at the back. As soon as I sat down, he began pedalling which made me surprised.

                I hold onto him tightly, “YAH! You should have told me that you’ll start pedalling.”

                He sweetly smiled, “Better not waste the time, we need to be there early enough.”

I sighed as I rest my head on his back. Seoul is truly more beautiful at night. All the lights from the building, the coldness of the wind, everything seems so serene. Chanyeol’s pedalling speed was fine enough for me to enjoy the beauty of the night. After a while, we reached our destination. It was a slope. He told me to alight the bike since we needed to walk from there since the slope is kind of steep.

“Here we are,” he said as soon as we reach the top. As I turned my head towards the left, I was astounded by what I am seeing. You can totally see the breath-taking view of the whole city on top of this hill. I was too amazed to speak. I immediately took my camera to capture this picturesque view.

                I started talking picture when he said, “It will began any moment.”

                I turned my head towards him and said, “What will begin?”

He pointed towards the sky. Then, fireworks appeared before my eyes. It covered the sky with its wonderful and colourful lights. I did my best to capture this fantastic moment. Happiness starts to pour out of my heart, you can’t experience this amazing moment every day.  

                “So pretty,” I said as I extended my hands towards the sky.

Chanyeol smiled at me and looked into eyes. This guy is fond of doing that. I hate it at the same time liked it since it’s giving me a fuzzy feeling.

                I immediately blushed, “W-what’s wrong?”

                Still giving me a melting look with his pleasant smile, “I’m glad you liked it. This is my special place. It hold many memories.”

                I hid my disappointment behind my smile, “Really? Thanks for bringing me here! I really loved it.”

He ruffled my hair as we watched the fireworks. I unconsciously looked at him and pointed my camera towards him as he was engrossed with the fireworks display. I took a stolen shot. It was a beautiful picture of him staring at the sky while it was illuminated by thousands of colours. No words can describe how amazing it is. Then I decided to take another picture of him. I was carefully focusing the lens when he turned his head towards the camera and smiled. Without any hesitation, I took the shot.

                He pinched my cheeks and said, “You’re taking too much stolen shots.”

                I playfully said, “This pictures will cost fortune.”

                “Yah, don’t try posting that in the internet or sell it,” he then pouted.

                “Who will save and buy your pictures?” I gave him a merong.

                “My wonderful fans, you cheeky kid,” he said as ruffles my hair again.

I sighed as I fix my hair. He was silently laughing as he watch me.

Then, I thought for a minute and said, “This are for keepsake, they’re too precious and beautiful to sell.” I sweetly smiled at him.

He suddenly blushed and looked away. I just smiled and took pictures again. After a while we went back to the playground and there we walked in separate ways. I don’t want him to walk me home, fan girls might be lurking anywhere. I don’t want him to be in trouble just like before.

I reached home and went straight to the bedroom. I took my camera and looked at the pictures once again. I can’t help but look at Park Chanyeol.

No, no, no, no. Get a grip of yourself, Hana. You can’t fall for him. I can’t love anyone with my current state. Oh heart, please stop beating fast for Chanyeol.

I pushed the next button, it was the photo where he smiled at me. My smile suddenly turned into a frown as ‘Choi Hana’ popped into my head.

I surrender.

I am jealous of Choi Hana.

I sighed as I thought of one sure thing and that I can never compete with someone who is already dead.

Anyeong, everyone. After 1 month and a half, I've finally udpated. I wanted to cry. I had been busy lately and our internet conncetion was cut, that's why I can't update plus my laziness. I am very sorry for the long wait. Please continue to support me. To all of my readers and subscribers, ILOVEYOUALL :* *hugs*