CHANYEOL

It's already 1 am and here I am lying on the couch that doesn’t suffice with my height, staring  at the ceiling instead of trying to find some sleep. I cannot help but think of Hana again.  I am missing her, it’s been a while since Hana contacted me. We often see each other these past few days since I am kind of busy with training while she’s busy with studying and I guess she’s currently working on her project.

We talked about many things during the past few meetings. By remembering the conversations that we had, there is one thing I noticed, she never opens up to me and that keeps on bugging me. When we are together, I usually asked her about her past but she tries her best to avert the conversation to another topic. That's when curiosity starts to haunt me, it is as if she is trying to conceal her past to me.

What makes me more hesitant with what I am doing is that it makes me fonder of her. The more and more I see her, the more and more I become attracted to her. The same feelings that were held back for all those years suddenly resurfaced but I am repressing it into the depth of my unconsciousness but knowing how stubborn my inner self is, I know I will have a hard time fighting with this overflowing feelings I have for her.

            I turned around the couch and said, “Argh, I am so confused. I don’t know what to do."

Then I heard Baekhyun shouting my name.

            “YAH! Park Chanyeol, someone is calling you. You had 3 missed calls,” he shouted.

I immediately stood up and went straight to our room but I was too late since the call just ended. I looked at the call log and it was Hana.  That’s unusual, she usually text me whenever she wants to meet up. I didn’t register her name in the contacts directly but instead used my sister’s name to hide it from everyone. My phone rang again.

            "Yobosaeyo?," I cheerfully said.

The sudden cheerfulness turned into loneliness when I heard her voice that is filled with melancholia and fear.

            “Ch…Chanyeol,” Hana said as she tries to gasp for some air.

            I started panicking and said, “He-Hey, are you okay? What’s wrong? Where are you?”

            She sounded like she’s crying, “I am on my way towards the playground.”

            I started pulling my coat from the hanger and putting it on and said, “Okay. Wait for me there. Don’t go anywhere, okay?”

After she hang up I grabbed by scarf and was ready to go when Baekhyun grabbed my arm.

            “Where are you going? It’s late, we need some sleep we have a schedule tomorrow. Hyung might notice that you are out. I can’t think of any excuses anymore,” he said, trying to stop me from coming.

            “I am going home, there’s an emergency. How’s that? I’ll treat you something when I got home, just cover for me Baek,” I shrugged of his hand and went out as quietly and fast as possible.

I was able to reach the place in no time because I ran too fast. As I catch my breath for a minute, I immediately saw a glimpse of Hana which made me less worried and happy. I was taken aback by the look that I saw in her eyes. She was staring into the empty space and seems like lifeless. A pang of sadness suddenly enveloped me, the fear and loneliness in her eyes pierced my heart. I have never seen Hana became like this, it seems like the person sitting a few meters away from me is someone whom I never knew. I forced myself to smile despite the sadness that I felt. I don’t like seeing her like this.

            “Choi Hana!” I shouted as I ran towards her.

            Hana stood up as soon as she heard me, "I am really sorry for calling you this late."

I smiled and said, “It’s alright.”

I continued to smile and stared at her for a moment then I walked around her, she was about to turn around when I stopped her, then I gave a slight push.

            Hana was puzzled by what I have done," What's that for?"

            “A little method we do to cheer people up, ‘A slight push will lessen the burden you take'," he said.

She let out a giggle and a small smile formed on Hana’s lips.

            “Cheer up will you? It makes me sad seeing you like that," I ruffled her hair and smiled. She looked at me and fixed her hair acting as if annoyed the she tried t hide her feelings by giving me a forced smile, she can never hide her emotion especially from me, I grew up with her so I know how she feels by just looking straight into her eyes.

There was absolute silence as the two of us walk together, I occasionally hear the sound of the car passing by but other that there's nothing but silence. I don’t like the atmosphere; it’s just that the silence is starting to be enveloped by loneliness.

I looked at her and broke the ice, “I was shocked that you called, I was scared that something bad happened to you.”

She glanced and smiled at me, "It was just a dream.”

She sighed as I look at her, waiting for her to say  single word again.

            "Was it another of those bad dreams of yours?"

            Then, the smile on her face slowly turned into a frown then she answered, "Yes."

 She took a deep breath and said, “I was standing in front of a cafe, waiting for someone again. Someone called my name, then I saw a girl crossing the streets, a girl whom I felt I have met, she was walking a few meters away from me then she turned around as if someone is calling her name, then she turned and walked towards me.”

She gulped and continued, “B-Before I was about to… s-stop her, the r-red light turned green and right…right…in front of me…. a fast car hit her and then…was d-drowning in her own pool of blood. I…I wanted to help her..bu-but I can't move from where I was standing.”

I just stared at her for a minute, puzzled. She looked so scared, she kept on stuttering. I can't believe it, that scene she dreamt of, it is the same scene that happened in the accident, but, why is she watching Hana or rather  herself die? Is the girl standing in front of me is really the Hana that I know? What if Baekhyun was right? What if she's just one of the 7 people who looks like Hana? Come to think of it. By linking the information that I know about her, at some point I started to notice that she is quite different from the Hana that I used to know though she had the same face, feature, attitude, mannerisms and even name.

Confusion starts to bother me.

Then I heard her sobbing as she continued talking, “After that I was swallowed by darkness and a voice continued to echo and I started to run but can’t find the way out and then I saw a light and followed it and then I vividly saw the girl, crying in front of me, she saying someone’s name but her voice was too soft when I asked her to speak louder, the moment she opened I woke up.”

Tears appeared on each side of her eyes. She looked down, trying to hold back her tears, then she started crying, the feelings that I have right now was the same feelingsI had when I first saw her cry . Hana cried, and it was all coming back. It’s like time went back and a sudden nostalgia enveloped me.

I didn't hesitate to pull her towards me and envelope her with my embrace. What gave me a shock is that she hugged me tighter. Her height was a great advantage of hers since I can easily embrace her with the slightly small stature. I don’t know why I can’t stop myself from drawing her near me.

            Then, I hugged her tighter and said, “Just cry and let go of the sadness you feel.”

            She mumbled for so many times the words, “I am sorry.”

I planted a sweet and gentle kiss on her on her forehead.

            I whispered in her ear, “I am always here for you, Hana.”

The night grew deeper, and this sweet moment that I wish to last forever is the single proof that I have right now, to help me overcome my confusion over Choi Hana.

Anyeong, everyone. I really don't know what to say, kekeke. Thank you so much for supporting my fanfic ;___; I wanna cry because of happiness. I never expected that a lot of people would subscribe in my story. *tears* I am sorry for the delays in updating, I know that I usually update a1-3 weeks late, it's because I am currently focusing in my studies. Continue on cheering for me, I'll do my best to make this story much more wonderful. Kekeke. ILOVEYOUGUYSSOMUCH! (especially my lovely subscribers and readers) Post more comments, hehe. I love to read some comments :) Thank you for supporting me though I am a slow updater ;___; KAMSAHAMNIDA :D