Now that sadness slowly accumulates

Although I know that you really left

I can only hope to be nicer to you when you are back

Why am I behaving so stupidly

The time that you gave me

Is just time for us to even things out between us

 

 

 

 

 

===

 

"I'm going to walk around for a while in the studio. Just looking for a cappuccino. "I told Eonni Manager who still busy and will always be busy.

"If I knew this, I'd better attend MC with Seohyun and Taeyeon unni." I stamped my sneakers on the floor.

"Know about what?."

"Know that I will not meet with CN Blue." I answered.

"Huh? Nuguya?. "I just realized that I've just answered someone question who I don’t even recognize from his voice.

 

"Tiffany-ssi, long time no see." Says the namja that higher than me.

"Yonghwa oppa! How are you?." I say to reassure Yonghwa CN Blue who wear navy-blue t-shirt.

"You asked me how I was doing? Or Jonghyun?." Tease Yonghwa who was covering his mouth while laughing.

"Aish, jinja oppa" I Snorted irritably.

"You want to meet with Jonghyun? He's in the locker room. By the way my situation is good as usual haha. How about you?." Asked Yonghwa.

"I was fine until you pronounce the name of Jonghyun." Obviously I said jokingly.

 

"Hyung ..."

"Jong ..."

"Fany ..."

"Am I disturbing you two? Alright I'll go. "Yonghwa said goodbye as he patted someone who right beside him.

 

"An .... Annyeonghaseo." I said awkwardly half bowed before Jonghyun.

"Annyeong. Tiffany, how are you?. " ask him toward me. Yes, that voice I’ve been missing since long ago.

"As you can see, I'm fine. What about you? Still busy in Japan?." I turned around and took another sip of my cappuccino as he saw the window wide to spread the beauty of the city of Seoul in the early morning.

"Yes. I just got back from Japan 3 hours ago.” Jonghyun replied quietly.

 

Now he was standing right next to me.

I can feel how this namja keep staring at me without blinks at once.

I awkwardly not looking back and keep my eyes on windows view.

 

How could you roll back old memories that have been buried neatly.

A feeling that will never disappear and been threw.

Still the same.

And feeling the same vibe.

For the same person.

I can not forgive you this easily.

Did you feel the same?

The same heartbeat and veins?

 

"You must be very tired." I said bluntly.

"Tiffany-ah .."

"Nde?." I said but my eyes keep on windows view.

 

I don’t want to see him again.

Will never again.

Or I will fall even further.

Far more painful and more inside.

Much torn melancholy.

 

"I miss you."

 

Deg.

Please.

I felt my eyes started stinging.

No, Tiffany. It's just a mere bluff.

You should not fall in the same spare.

It was quite poignant.

Please.

Don’t leave the same injury.

 

"Haha. Really?. "

"You think I'm joking for what?." So he said with a serious tone.

"I thought there’s only me who miss you." I continued with a smirk on my lips, which is really just me trying to hold my tears are like its going to fall, again.

 

"I'm sorry due time."

"What else should I forgive? Is not it all been forgiven?. "

"You've even tired to forgive me?."

"Not really."

"Then?."

"I'm tired of you."

 

And now my tears actually fell.

Stupid.

 

Why am I still crying namja that even left me alone.

Namja who threw me away without any reason.

Namja who abandoned me with different feelings that churned in my heart ache.

Through space at the most in my chest. Yes, very deep.

 

"Tiffany, I ..."

"Enough. Lee Jonghyun .. "

 

"Do you remember when our anniversary to 8? Do you remember? Not? You promised to come celebrate it with me. I'm waiting at the restaurant. For hours. All day. I have to drink glass after glass of wine for waiting you. "

"I'm sorry, I. .."

"Can you stop saying sorry and fix everything? I like crazy that night! damn, why I’m still miss you and expect you to return. "

"I waited until 3 am. Manager eonni livid with me. And until the morning even you do not call at all." I kept talking without coma.

 

I keep sobs. I feel my heart getting ache. more.

So, this is huh?

That I’ve buried down inside my deep heart?

I felt my knees shook.

My breath keep a mess.

My heart beat getting fals, there’s no rhythmic.

 

"And over a month ... you do not call."

"Now look .. we are no more than a stranger. "

 

I looked at Jonghyun eyeball who is now looking at me blankly.

Now what? Regret? It's too late for all of them, Lee Jonghyun.

I was tired.

I'm just a woman who wasn’t more powerful than the rock though.

I just the grains of sand that will disappear with beach waves, isn’t it?

 

"What should I do to make up for everything?." Jonghyun asked softly, in fact I almost did not hear his voice.

 

Plaakkk ...

 

I slap his right cheek hard enough.

Yes, at least leave enough punch sick but not as sick as how I've been waiting and expecting it all along.

Jonghyun close his eyes, holding pain while clutching his right jaw.

 

"I love you, Tiffany .."

"On April 27th I suddenly got a call from the manager hyung. I had to go back to Japan and I lost my cell phone on the way to the airport. Unlucky day, is not it? I can not contact you at that time. "

 

I slumped on the floor, which is now as cold as the surface of my skin.

I cover my wet facewhich is now filled with tears.

Tears for a month that I’ve been buried alone.

I keep it carefully in all the secrets and wounds.

 

"If at that time I told you that I would settle in Japan for more than one month. Will you still waiting for me? I'm afraid you'll leave me. I’m afraid you’ll let me go. I’m afraid you’ll not longer be mine. I’m too afraid of everything, Fany-ah. So, I think I'll keep it from you. "

“I’m a helpless namja.”

 

Now I feel the hand surface Jonghyun took both my hands, holding it tightly.

Obviously I'm getting started sobbing and I felt out of my breath, heavy.

Sick.

My chest was more sore than usual.

"I want to know how strong you survive for waiting, Tiffany" Says Jonghyun while pushing my shoulder so I went into his arms perfectly.

I buried down, so warm on Jonghyun’s chest.

 

"Cry, I don’t know what else to do to reply to all of this. You're very good for me. Too good. I was not even enough to give you anything. I'm bad Jonghyun, I admit it. "

Jonghyun back the top of my head smooth.

 

"Lee Jonghyun .."

 

Jonghyun loosened his arms from me.

Restrain his index finger on my red lips.

 

"We never say the word of 'end'  isn’t it?."

 

Our eyes meet each other.

Did we love each other?

Are not we still want to be with each other?

Are not we still have the same heartbeat?

Then why we being like this?

Why time and wind gusts distort everything?

 

"Happy 9th monthsarry ..." Jonghyun whispered in my left ear.

I felt perfect blade of incoming ring on my finger.

Silver ring with a gem, so beautiful.

 

"I'm sorry for this. I love you so much ... " Jonghyun continued to give a kiss that landed on my forehead.

I hugged tightly this namja.

As if I do not want to lose it again for the umpteenth time.

 

Although Jonghyun did not ask for love, I'll still love him sincerely.

Although he did not apologize to me, I will always forgive him.

Although he left me, I'll be waiting.

Part of himself, is myself.

 

"I love you, I can wait for you endlessly. No matter how long, how far, and how hurt it is. I'm gonna be right here waiting for you, right here to loving you."And I sobbed oh his arms. Namja that I've been longing for.

 

"Even I'm not here as much as before, it does not mean that my love for you has faded away. The whole world must be envy me, because i have found this little princess who always take care and love me." Jonghyun looked at me with his warmth eyes.

Back of his hand wiped the tears that no matter how many litter fall and wasted.

 

"Well, that's my job, sir." I said with a thin smile.

"Thanks for loving this bad boy. When I do not have any confidence to hold onto you anymore, you hold this hand even tighter. Now, I’ll never let your hand go off from mine. I love you."

 

All wound was gone.

I think all this waiting will only end up like a wave, that just disappear.

I feel his soft lips landed on my red thin lips.

Kissed me gently. Sweet, like the last time we kissed.

I held the kiss. I round my hand on his neck.

 

"May I have you tonight?." Jonghyun asked with a smirk of his that was very familiar.

"I'm forever yours, burning Jonghyun." I said while ruffled his hair.

 

I'll not be sad

For the belief that you'll come to find me

The belief makes my love stronger

And gives me the energy to live on

 

 

 

================

 

it's doneeeeeee >_____<

how is it? too quick? no surprise?

I really trying hard to make this fanfic XD

comments and subscripe are lovable <3333