Late regrets, hopes pointless

But still, my heart wants to find you again

I miss you, I'm sorry

I regret being not good enough for you

To you, to you

I want to take courage and tell you those things

But where are you?

 

 

"Hyung! You left it in the car. I forgot to return it to you. "Sungjong exclaimed that suddenly appeared from the back yard.

"Ah, Kahi and Jooyeon noona." Says Sungjong again with bow.

"That thing… Lizzy carried that scarf all day long.." Jooyeon said in a whisper to Kahi.

"Knit scarf? Lizzy who knit it?." Asked Sunggyu surprised.

 

"Hoya! So this is why since last weeks you always daydreaming?! You always skip dinner with the Infinite members, huh?. "  Woohyun blustered and quickly cornered Hoya.

Hoya's body pushed to the corner of the wall

Remain silent with his cool style.

"Hyung ... ige mwoya ..." Sungjong groaned and pulled Woohyun sleeve shirt.

"Pabo. What kind of namja are you?!." Woohyun almost give Hoya punch on Hoya’s face.

"Stop it." Yelled Sunggyu to Woohyun and immediately move to mediate between Hoya and Woohyun.

 

"What did you do to her?. Were you still with her? Still love her?." Ask Sunggyu quickly without coma.

"I …"

"Stop being so cold! That girl also have heart!." Woohyun snapped again.

"Myungsoo .." Hoya said quietly with his head bowed.

"Me?." Replied Myungsoo who awakened from sleep because of the noise from living room.

 

While Woohyun, Sunggyu and Sungjong just exchanged a puzzled look.

 

"You and Lizzy .."

"Hyung ..."

"Don’t tell me that you're jealous of me and Lizzy. Come on Hyung, how long I should explain to you that I and Lizzy just good friends." Said Myungsoo solid.

"Lizzy is close to me because she was always looking information about you and ask about you when you didn’t pick up the her phone calls."

"She always telling me all about you so excited and cheerfully." Says Myungsoo cool, as usual.

 

Hoya looks into Myungsoo eyes.

"Stop being stubborn and cold hyung. Trust me." Says Myungsoo while pat Hoya’s shoulder.

"Hyung .." this time the maknae Sungjong approaching Hoya and clutching Hoya’s hands that have been cold as ice.

Hoya turned his gaze on his beloved maknae.

 

"Lizzy loves you very much. Let your heart melt hyung, you're too cavalier with your own feelings." Says Sungjong with a smile.

"Come back to her, hyung." Append Myungsoo again.

"If you still expect it again, come back. And I'm sure you were expecting Lizzy. Stop pretending and covering your own feelings, Hoya." Replied Dongwoo.

"Jebal .." Jooyeon whispered softly Jooyeon with sobs.

 

===

 

Hoya stepped into the room with the smell of the medicine that very piercing his sense of smell.

Around him just white, white, white as well as infusion hoses.

Until Hoya had blinked his eyes several times and found the figure of a cheerful girl that he loved didn’t move from her white bed.

 

Yes, Lizzy.

The girl he had left a few weeks ago.

Pabo, what this girl thought she had to find it all.

Hoya continues curse and blaming himself.

 

Hoya approached Lizzy’s pale-face now.

Hoya hold Lizzy’s left hand that is not wrapped by infusion.

Caresses Lizzy brownish soft hair.

Until Hoya finds a letter under Lizzy’s pillow.

Crumpled paper and scribble.

Until Hoya conscious around him filled with crumpled paper that very wet and unreadable, perhaps because of tears.

 

And Hoya started to read it slowly,

 

-Lizzy 'Letter-

 

Hoya oppa,

You're home? Are you okay? I really worry about you.

Don’t skip your meals and don’t lack your sleep.

I still don’t even believe that we've broken up.

Can I texted you to say 'good morning? Should not be?

I'm  feeling cold. Um, I miss you.

Even though I'm young, the pain is the same. Just because I do not know the world very well. Does not mean that I do not know pain.

Why do you lie, saying it'll be okay? How will my heart that hurts this much would be healed so easily?

How will I live without you? How am I suppose to let you go?

Whether you go or leave, fix my heart. If you can not fix it so that I will not be in pain.

So that I can at least live.

Or I would not be able to live anyway.

No matter how much you push me away. I'll hold onto you until the end. So that you will not be able to go anywhere.

If you're really going to leave, then lie. That we should meet again tomorrow. That we should meet as we smile. If breaking up was not a joke,

We went through so much time together

How are you telling me to live by myself now?

I can not do that, I can not, I will not.

I'm still the same Lizzy. Lizzy who will always standing next to you.

Lizzy who will always smile brightly.

I will not cry, I will not. but still, I can’t hold these tears anymore.

I'm sorry..

I'm still miss you no matter what happened...

 

Lizzy ^u^

 

 

Hoya speechless. Squeezing the crumpled paper in his hand became increasingly destroyed. No longer legible.

Hoya eyes stared back at Lizzy’s eyes that still closed.

The face of the girl that he loved so far.

How could he be a heart-stone for that weak girl who always pretend to be happy in front of him?

He is cold-hearted to the girl who had always give smile on her lips just to cheer him?

 

Am I too Meanie?

Am I too harsh?

Am I too much?

I just can not describe my own feeling. Can not understand my own feeling.

Even I have a deep feeling on you, I can not show it to you.

I'm still the same Hoya.

The cold Hoya and have many secrets inside.

No one understand my deep feeling.

Even I act arrogant and cold in front of you, you do not know how much I miss you.

How much I feel the Wounds inside this chest.

How much I feel hard on my knees to leaving you alone that night.

How much tears I've keep for these days.

How much I spend my days getting colder and more silence without your smile.

 

Hoya who still continue to blame and dropped him.

 Fall as deep as possible.

As perceived Lizzy.

Lizzy always pretend to be happy.

And Hoya who always pretended to be calm.

 

Hoya hold both Lizzy’s hands even more tightly.

Tears spent there as well.

Whatever sin and harm to Lizzy would not be able pay off though tears have run out by then too.

 

Lizzy-ah,

You know what? I do not know how long I buried my own tears, I'm tired of being like this. I'm tired of it all alone.

I always wonder where you are and how you're doing

Are you at the place where my longing touches?

or maybe are you longing for me with the same hopes?

It's so hard for me without you, everything is hard

In each moment I breathe, thoughts of you torture me

I try and I try but, Cell traces come back to life and I'm afraid.

I'm too afraid without you, Lizzy-ah.

 

I'm not that good person, I'm always being like this.

Being the same Hoya.

I'm too jealous over you, I thought with broke up, everything will fixed.

Not like this.

Lizzy-ah, I know this thousand sorry will not be able to erase all of my mistakes.

I did too much lied in myself.

Saranghaeyo, Pabo Lizzy-ah. I'll never leave you again. Never.

 

Hoya’s sobs and he gently kissed on Lizzy’s cold hands.

Hope Lizzy will open her eyes soon.

Notice his presence.

Until Hoya asleep in bed next to Lizzy till dawn.

 

====

 

 

Hoya opened his eyes that still heavy, rubs his eyes.

Until Hoya actually realized that he was in the hospital, sleeping next to Lizzy.

His eyes were swollen and heavy.

"Oppa, you awake?."

Hoya soon set his sights on the sound source.

Looked at the girl who was in front of him.

Sweet girl a smile, as usual.

"Oppa sorry last night I was really tired." Says Lizzy bowed.

"Will you stop saying sorry? Because right now I’m the only one who have sinned to you." Replied Hoya as he stand up from his seat and hugged Lizzy tightly.

Lizzy surprised. she still has not been fully realized.

 

"I'm sorry."

"Oppa .."

"Sstt.."

"I was too scared not with you anymore. I lost my senses. I. .. I'm not used to do everything without you." says Hoya while whispered behind Lizzy’s back.

Lizzy's eyes red and start wet again.

"I've forgiven Hoya oppa even oppa not asking it to me." Replied Lizzy and releasing her arms from Hoya.

Hoya cheeks gently Lizzy’s cheek that already wet with tears.

"Oppa, saranghaeyo." Said Lizzy with a hint eyesmile.

"Nado, saranghae. I'm not going to make you cry again." Replied Hoya and give kisses to Lizzy’s eyes that have been wet.

“I’m still the hard Hoya, and I need a girl who will always melt me down.”

 

"Let's hold each other hands even tighter."

"Let's face the future together."

"Let's be forever young together."

"No matter what happened, we will always together?."

"We will." Says Hoya as he kissed Lizzy’s lips that still pale.

"Promise not to leave me in cold again?."

"Are you really cold?."

"Do I look like a joke? Pft." Lizzy replied with a pout on her lips.

"I will never ever do it again." Says Hoya and give hug to Lizzy’s body that still weak.

"Oppa, did you just cry?."

"Huh? I’m not." Answer Hoya stammered.

"Don’t lie anymore. Am I need to hit you so you’ll crying?." Lizzy jokes as she pinched Hoya’s waist.

"Aish, shirreo."

"Cry for me once. I've too often cry for you." Grumbled Lizzy again.

"Bite my lip and then I will cry aloud, ppali." Quipped Hoya and lowered his mouth towards Lizzy.

 

Lizzy pulls Hoya’s collar shirt and bite his lip hard.

"Akkk! It was so sick! It's bloody, it, ppali!." Tell Hoya with a smirk on his thin lips.

"Ige mwoya ..."

"Ppali .." Asked Hoya with his puppy eyes and pushed Lizzy to her bed and now his muscular body already on top of Lizzy’s body.

“Yak, oppa what you gonna do?.”

“What do you think, heum?.”

Hoya close Lizzy’s room curtain quickly.

 

 

No matter how much I try to move away.

I'm still missing you.

No matter how hard I'm trying to forget you.

I'm still missing you.

No matter how bad wound in my chest.

I'm still missing you.

 

And it always end up on you..

 

 

====

 

2 weeks later at Han River…

 

“Oppa, the stars shining so bright isn’t it?.” Whispered Lizzy as she looks up to the dark sky.

“Umm, I think so.”

“Do I need to be the brightest star so people will miss me when I’m not shining bright as before?.” Ask Lizzy again toward Hoya.

“You don’t need to be the brightest star. You just need to stay beside the moon every night.” Answer Hoya while pulled Lizzy’s chin and lowered his face.

“You’re my moon?.”

Hoya answered it with sure nods.

“If you miss me, just look up, try to reach the stars and imagine I’m on your side.” Said Lizzy with her eyesmile.

“Then I’m gonna see stars every night.” Hoya threw a smile on her and gently kiss Lizzy on the lips.

 

 

 

 

 

The end

 

 

 

 

finally it ends T______T thanks reader-nim who subscribed and wait for this story~~

sorry I updated so late >_< hehe

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