“You never cried or said anything. So I thought you didn’t think much of me after all these years,” Kikwang smiled from ear to ear but his eyes hid a tinge of sadness.

I bit my lips and took my backpack from him.

“We can see each other on weekends. It won’t be so different than now. It’s not like we ever saw much of each other at school in the first place since we never had the same classes or clubs,” I said trying to keep positive about the situation.

Kikwang was in the advanced class, while I remained in the regular sections. He often dropped by to tutor me when he could. Other than moments like this and morning walks, our time together thinned out to the bare minimum.

After we made our own friends, we just stopped trying to meet with each other. We would sometimes drop by a Facebook comment but that was it. Even so, we each knew, we would be there for each other when needed. It was just this feeling.

Moving schools will not change anything. I was sure.

Kikwang began playing with the second button of his shirt. He has been fiddling with it this entire day.

I slapped his hand away, grabbed it, and yanked it off.

“You wanted to give me this, right? Why are you so shy? Of course this is mine.” I huffed but teared a bit. The button that remained closest to his heart these past three years. The most coveted item by all the girls in the school.

Kikwang blushed, making me blush.

“Y-you didn’t want to?” I stuttered.

“I wanted to.” He replied lightening fast.

“Nothing for me?” He said quietly kicking his feet.

“Er…,” truthfully, a goodbye gift didn’t cross my mind at all.

I was too busy thinking of plans on how to meet him again in the new school year.

I opened my backpack and dug around for something. ‘You always carry stupid junk with you. There must be something!’ I thought frustrated.

My panda keychain… my piggy mechanical pencil… my bunny shaped eraser... was all given to me by Kikwang.

My hands stopped when an idea crept into my mind. I closed my eyes, turned around, and gave Kikwang a giant tight hug.

Kikwang froze and didn’t say a word. His body was very rigid; he was muscular from play sports…. But he seemed to have turned to stone.

“It’s just a hug. Sheesh. Idiot!” I bopped his head lightly.

“You don’t get anything because this isn’t goodbye! I’ll still visit you in your sports competitions and… and I’ll still be around during weekends and holidays. I’m just around the corner!” I smiled.

Kikwang laughed and returned my hug. My heart began to race furiously.

These past two years, we never even held hands. Perhaps because of puberty. It couldn’t be helped because holding hands meant going out. And we were not romantically in love with each other. We were only friends.

He was always busy with SOMETHING anyway! From the Student body senate, to the captain of the soccer club, and even top grades standing at number three out of the whole third year population. It’s not like he ever made time to be together with me. Maybe he didn’t like me as much since I wasn’t smart or athletic like the other people around him.

The only Kikwang I was familiar with was the snotty nosed bullied kid. Each new school year, I understood him less and less. But, the way I cared for him never changed all these years. I still felt he needed my protection for some reason.  

I just rested my head against his shoulder. This felt comfortable. But as soon as we became snuggly, it became just as awkward. The classroom was quiet since everyone already left.

Ceremonies were already held in the morning and lots of people left early just so they can say, “I’ve ditched class before.”

I pushed myself away. (Though I didn’t want to.)

“Let’s go home.” I said quietly and he nodded.

“It’s heavy, right? Let me carry your bag,” Kikwang took my backpack without waiting for my answer.

After awhile of walking in silence, Kikwang asked me a question.

“How many hours did you sleep yesterday?”  

“Um… since I fell asleep around 4… only about 3 hours,” I yawned and pouted.

“I hope there are nice people at my new school. Nobody from our school is going to Diamond Bar. This stinks,” I kicked at a nearby rock.  

“If someone bullies you, I’ll talk to them for you,” He made a fist and pumped it into the air like he was doing an uppercut.

“I know you have muscles, but they’re stupid muscles. Those muscles don’t know how to do anything but play soccer,” I said implying the time he almost got mugged by a homeless beggar. I had to come and chase the beggar away. I violently flung my backpack around and screamed like a mad woman until some passer by called the police.

I was almost fined because they misunderstood that I was attacking a poor homeless guy.  

Kikwang smiled sheepishly. “I felt sorry for the guy. He looked sick. I didn’t want to hurt him,” he defended.

“Worry about yourself first!” I slapped his arm.

Before I knew it, we were home. We returned sooner than usual.

I used to hate the walk home since it was so tiresome. I was usually jealous of the kids who got a ride home from their parents. But now, I wished we lived farther away. This would be our last walk home together.

“Bye.” Kikwang waved while returning my backpack. I nodded.

“You better visit during the weekends! I’ll be waiting!” I glared.

“Jiyoung… I… nevermind,” Kikwang looked like he wanted to say something.  

He never finished what he was going to say. Summer ended very quietly. We would do our usual thing watching movies and hang out with our other friends. He would play sports, I would go watch and I felt better about moving forward.

But even that was only temporary as my new school life began.