Happiness, true happiness, always came in unusual forms, Jieun believed. Happiness came in the form of delicious dishes made by her mother after a long tiresome school day, the taste forever imprinted on her tasting senses. Happiness came in the form of the sound of carefree laughter, dancing around while letting the melody of life wash over mind and body.

And this time, happiness came in the form of a small paper with a phone number written on it.

Jieun never thought her trip to Beijing could ever be so much fun, so exciting. She never thought she would be able to meet someone so special, so brilliantly lovely, that it would turn her life upside down. Not that she ever minded such happiness to wash over, because it felt way too good for a complaint to ever float in her mind.  

Lu Han continued to show her around, letting Jieun see places she would have never been able to find herself. Lu Han continued to drag her everywhere, but always making sure she was in his sight. I should get paid for being your babysitter, Lu Han would often remark whenever Jieun had almost lost him again, but he never ever stopped being anything less than caring and gentle.

Soon, meeting up with Lu Han turned into a habit, a custom, a part of a daily routine that was silently agreed upon. Soon, Lu Han had naturally integrated himself in Jieun’s vacation life, being already a huge part of the trip. Soon, Jieun was not be able to sleep at night because her mind was busy replaying the whole day and excitement defeated exhaustion. It really happened so naturally, came so naturally, that Jieun did not even realize just how much in her life had changed. All she saw was the prince on a white horse, everything else mercilessly deemed as irrelevant.

Jieun was busy making herself up, brushing her hair hastily as she glanced into the mirror. Simplistic and soft tinted clothes always made her feel most comfortable, no need for anything more than the most basic necessity. The sound of her phone going off caught her attention, causing her eyes to flicker in surprise, but she soon answered the call with a smile plastered on her lips when she saw who was calling.

“Hello?”

“Look outside your window…” A short moment of silence was heard before the person spoke again, “…now.”

Jieun’s eyebrows knitted together slightly as she went to her window, opening it so she could look outside. Her eyes blinked rapidly at the sight, thinking her mind was playing tricks on her sight, but Lu Han was really there. He was really standing there, looking up to meet her eyes while holding onto a small flower bouquet, an amused dancing on his lips. Jieun’s mind was screaming out in happiness, but no word left . No word justified the feeling that was washing over her right now. A hand went to , hiding it slightly as a big smile appeared on her lips, causing Lu Han to chuckle.

“And, is this a nice surprise or not, mademoiselle?” Lu Han asked.

Jieun shook her head defeated, infatuation painted on her face, “You’re unbelievable, mister.”

Lu Han grinned satisfied as he waved the bouquet, “I’ve come to pick you up, Juliet.”

“To where, Romeo?” Jieun said as she leaned her arms against the window frame, her head resting on it gently while her hair danced with the soft breeze.

Lu Han smiled brightly at this, “Somewhere special.”

“What’s that around your neck?” Jieun asked curiously.

“This?” Lu Han held onto it before moving the object in front of his eyes while pointing in her direction, “It’s my precious camera.”

“Camera?” Jieun repeated interested, eyes blinking in surprise, “You like to take pictures?”

Lu Han smiled, “It’s what I do for a living.”

It turned out, Lu Han explained to her when she was down and they were walking away from the hotel, that Lu Han was a professional photographer, travelling around the world to find the right places to take pictures of. Australia is the best for spectacular wildlife pictures, but I recommend London for the antique feeling of a lingering past, Lu Han told these things excitedly, the camera dangling around his neck merrily. He had been to so many places, captured so many moments of his life on film, that Jieun could only try to imagine how much world experience he had gained in his life. Lu Han would sincerely tell how the soothing sound of spoken French always sounded like a lullaby in his ears, how the smell of freshly baked egg tarts always brightened his day, and how the bright colors of Portugal made him feel as if he was caught in a dream. Jieun would never be able to even fathom what Lu Han had seen in his life.

The place Lu Han brought her was not an extravagant one, but it had something about it that would make you never forget about it. It had this calming effect on the mind, the smell of grass reaching the nose ever so tenderly while a small breeze washed over her. In front of her was a river that flowed slowly, almost silently, street lights lined against both sides of the river. Chattering could be heard vaguely, the chirping sound of birds causing an interesting combination to reach the ears.

Jieun said down on the small, wooden bench, eyes glistering as she looked around. She was certain this place would be beautiful at night, with street lights being the sole source of light and the shushing sound of water passing by. Lu Han smiled contently as he sat down beside her, hands already holding onto his camera.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”

Jieun was not one to easily enjoy peaceful sceneries, but this was clearly an exception, “It is.”

“There’s something agonizing about pictures, did you know that?” Lu Han said as he leaned back against the bench, “There’s something tantalizing about the fact that pictures can never capture what you want them to catch the most. The most beautiful photographs taken from the top professionals who manage to put something in their pictures have something that attracts people, and that something is what only a handful of photographers can ever be granted to get their hands on. Still, there’s no way a picture can convey everything you want to convey,” He looked down to his camera, “because pictures can’t capture the smell of perfectly made macaroons, the sound of pianos and violins playing with each other. They can merely capture what can be seen through lenses and put on films, but somewhere between the real world and the film, something gets lost. Something gets lost.”

It was something akin to regret that was laced around those words he spoke with such sadness, something close to pity. For Jieun, it was something so mysterious she would never be able to grasp, could only wish to ever understand, but seeing the expression on Lu Han’s face told her she was most probably better off not knowing.

“What makes up your life?” Lu Han asked, a weak smile lingering on his lips as he spoke, trying to change the topic.

“I’m a high school teacher, music teacher to be more precise, and I sometimes sing demos for songwriters,” Jieun answered honestly.

“Really? You like singing?” Lu Han asked curiously.

Jieun nodded her head, “Singing is my passion. There’s nothing as heavenly as voicing myself in the forms of melodies and self-created sounds.”

“Then, do you want to be a singer?” Lu Han asked as he turned his body to her direction.

Jieun shook his head regrettably at this, “No.”

A furrow appeared on the other’s face, “Why? It seems your passion lies there, though.”

She remembered the fights, the disappointments, the coldly spoken words filled with a stern warning. She recalled her cherished composition notebook lying somewhere in her backpack, something that she always had to bring along. Singing had always been her passion, always something she had wanted to strive for, but harsh reality always stopped her from going for her dream. Life in the form of bills that need to be paid and a future that asked for predictability and stability forced her to bury her dream somewhere deep inside of her, because there was no way dreams could provide her any of that. Yet, from time to time, melodies of her own would fill her head, cloud her mind and make her skip sleep for the sake of putting them on paper. She would hum to her own created songs secretly, sounds that only existed in her own mind, but were never allowed to be heard by anyone else.

“Sometimes things just won’t work out,” Jieun said, hands resting on the backpack on her lap, “sometimes it’s better to keep dreams and reality separated. In the end, it’s reality you should live.”

“Who says that?”

Jieun glanced at Lu Han, noticing the intense stare he was giving her. It made her feel uncomfortable, yet at the same time she was so terribly attracted to those two beautiful eyes. Lu Han was one of a kind, truly one of a kind, because he trusted himself more than the words of others, and that brought his reality and dreams to combine into a world of his own.   

♣

It had been on a peaceful, warm night that Lu Han asked Jieun whether she would want to sing something for him. Could you sing something for me, Lu Han had asked with pleading eyes and a slight pout that made him look like a little child, making it simply impossible for Jieun to say no. She had asked him what kind of song he would love to hear, and had Lu Han said anything would be fine, as long as she would sing. Being the stubborn young woman she was, Jieun had insisted on singing a song Lu Han personally liked, and Lu Han then confessed most of his favorite songs are from JJ Lin.

I don’t think you know Chinese songs, but I’m sure you might prove me wrong, Lu Han had quickly added the last part when he saw the growing indignant expression painted on her face. Jieun had told him, for the sake of saving her pride as a passionate music lover, that she might not know any JJ Lin songs, but she could surely sing one if she wanted to. Lu Han had grinned amusedly at this, telling her the title of the song he completely adored and challenging her to sing it to him before she would go back to South Korea.

She practiced the song every day and night after that, trying her best to hide her accent and memorizing the foreign lyrics she did not comprehend completely. The bubbly song remembered her of Lu Han’s smiles, of his shining eyes, and singing in Chinese made memories of the two of them burst in front of her eyes. It meant a lot that it was a song Lu Han personally liked. There’s something about Chinese songs that always seems to capture me, that sentence would always linger in the back of her mind whenever she listened to that song, even falling asleep with that melody in the background.

There was no justified reason for her to work this hard on practicing when she was on vacation, trying to let those foreign words slip out of effortlessly, other than that she wanted to sing for Lu Han. She did not want to disappoint, wanted to see this as a kind of repayment for everything Lu Han had done for her on this trip. She wanted her singing to make the other smile, nod satisfied while humming along. Maybe, she really just wanted one moment to shine in front of Lu Han.

This all brought the two of them on the same bench, staring at the same river, but this time at night and Jieun was right – The river still held onto its beauty even at night. Jieun stood up from the bench, hands clenching onto the hem of her skirt nervously as she stood in front of him, cell phone with the karaoke version of the song ready to start. Lu Han eyed her with sincere enthusiasm, and with a deep breath she started singing.

It was not perfect, was not flawless. The accent was, as Jieun already thought it would, visibly laced around her words, causing sharp edges on originally smooth tones. She stumbled upon difficult pronunciations, slurring words unintentionally. Yet, Lu Han showed nothing but enthusiastic excitement, clapping his hands silently as he moved his head along with the song, smiling brightly as she sung. It was as if Lu Han looked right through all the imperfections and saw all the effort she had put into mastering this song.

“你需要我的傻笑, 我需要你的擁抱.”

Gradually, Jieun began to sing more comfortably, ending the song sooner than she realized it. When the last note was played, her cell phone turning into a silent device, Jieun glanced up to meet Lu Han’s eyes, hoping dearly he had enjoyed the little performance.

Lu Han nodded his head satisfied, “Your singing is beautiful.”

Jieun moved a hand to shield the embarrassing bright smile that was formed on her lips, “Thank you.”

A sudden click captured her attention, and she realized Jieun had just taken a picture of her. Shy insecurity washed over her as she quickly reached out for the camera, wishing Lu Han would just delete the photo because she must look hideous on it.

“Please delete that!” Jieun said frantically.

Lu Han successfully moved the camera away from her, “No way. It’s too pretty to delete.”

“I… I’m not pretty,” Jieun said as she lowered her hand, eyes glistering with sadness.

Another click reached her ears as he took yet another picture of her, “That’s not up to you to decide, I’m afraid.”

♣

The remains of her trip were mainly spent with Lu Han, who never seemed to mind giving her all his time. Whenever Jieun would ask whether or not he had other things to attend to, Lu Han would always reply that he decided to give himself a short break. Jieun realized that what Lu Han did for a living required inspiration, which he would gain out of traveling and discovering. The camera would dangle around his neck more and more often and the time spent talking slowly turned into time spent enjoying and taking pictures. Jieun minded nothing of this, appreciated the serene peace surrounding them too much to ever complain.

So the moment she had to go back to Seoul, back to her hometown and back to her ordinary life came way too early for her, way too unexpected. She felt as if time had gone too fast, too many hours had been wasted and too many minutes had not been justifiably appreciated. It saddened Jieun that there seemed to be this guilt gnawing at her mind, telling her that it was time to leave this all behind. It was not like she had not thought about asking for something more, wanting to make things last longer.

However, courage was always hard to find and stupid pride hard to swallow, so even though he was standing in front of her right now, hands buried in his pockets casually while eyes shining prettily, she did not dare to speak out those words. Even though the feeling of the luggage being held by both hands felt hauntingly sorrowful and this moment almost regretful already, nothing seemed to be able to escape her sealed lips. She could only selfishly hope in futility that Lu Han would think the same, and be able to speak out the words that haunted them both.

“Thank you for spending so much time with me,” Jieun began hesitantly, “I… I had a wonderful time.”

Lu Han smiled at this, “I had a very good time with you too.”

Jieun shifted on her feet nervously, eyes glancing down for a moment before looking up to meet his eyes, “I… I just… I…”

“Is there something you want to tell me?” Lu Han asked as he noticed her nervous behavior.

She bit her lips slightly, not knowing what to say or do, “I… I… Y-Yes, I do…” Soft determination filled her eyes, “I do.”

It was always better to speak out whatever was in your mind, instead of leaving them unspoken and letting the regret filling you. She was going to get onto the airplane soon, leaving this place probably forever, so there really was nothing to lose and everything to gain for being insanely courageous for once, is what she tried to tell herself over and over as she tried to let those words escape . If Lu Han would laugh at her for what she was going to say, she was certain it would be far less painful than the regret of never having said anything. So she took a deep breath, eyes fluttering closed for a short moment, before she said those few words that had been branded in her conscious for a very long time already.

“I… I think I like you,” Jieun confessed.

A short moment of silence fell upon them, the background sound slowly disappearing as they looked each other in the eyes. Jieun waited eagerly for his reply, heart beating inhumanly fast as she thought about all the possible answers he could give to her. She even already had a back-up planned, something she could say if Lu Han never thought about taking things further than vacation friends, but it all did not seem necessarily, because one moment they stood apart from each other and the other moment Lu Han was embracing her tightly. One moment it was the sound of her own heartbeats that filled her head, the other moment it was the combination of two excited organs that created a song of their own. One moment it was nothing, the other moment it was everything.

“I think I like you too, mademoiselle,” Lu Han whispered in her ear, the warmth of his cheek feeling pleasant against her own.

Jieun ignored the tickling caused by strands of Lu Han’s hair against her face, happiness clouding her mind, “R-Really?”

She could feel him nodding against her head, causing an uncontrollable smile to appear on her lips. She tried her best to keep her lips glued to each other, not wanting to let any embarrassingly excited sounds to escape .

“Then it’s up to say the next line, right?” Lu Han said playfully.

Jieun’s eyes blinked at this, “Eh?”

Lu Han moved away from her, hands lingering on her shoulder while she kneeled down just slightly to meet Jieun’s eyes directly, warmth swimming in them beautifully, “Would you be my girlfriend?”

Jieun did not know whether she had said yes or not, everything already blurry in front of her eyes, but she was certain those were Lu Han’s lips against hers, so she assumed she must have said the right word.
 

*你需要我的傻笑, 我需要你的擁抱 = You need my silly smile, I need your hug (JJ Lin's A perfect match)
Here's the second chapter! I might be a little slow with updating (whuahahahahaha)... Not really spectacular, I think? But I think this creates something, something that is beautiful and so sadly to be seen crushed (oh yeah, I sound so wonderfully mean haha). Thank you for reading! Until the next update!
P.S. True happiness comes in the form of...?