Its been some time since my boyfriend left for the army and it's getting a lot lonelier as the days go on. I wish he was with me right now, I've been going through difficult times for a little while but it's fine, I guess, I'll just keep venting to the bear on my bed until he comes back...

“I'm enlisting for the army,” Key said casually as he flipped the omelet in the skillet.

“Wh-what?” I asked almost choking on my juice.

“I'm going to enlist. I mean if I don't I'll just be drafted so why not just join instead of having to wait. It makes sense, at least to me.” he replied.

I hesitated to say anything. Key was such a stubborn person and there was no talking him out of this no matter what I did or said... but... I didn't want him to leave... Maybe I was being selfish but who cares, it's how I felt. “Alright... I can't stop you so I'll support your decision 'til the end.” I finally said.

“Thank you,” he replied as he gave off a small smile.

Key walked out of the bathroom with his new uniform on. He looked so much more mature at that moment then he ever did before. “You look y in a uniform,” I told him. He blushed and looked down at his feet. I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. “Maybe we should have gotten one for you earlier,” I teased as I set my forehead on his; he became more flustered and he laughed a little at what I said. “All teases aside, you look handsome as always,” I whispered and lightly kissed him. “Thank you,” he whispered back and made contact with my lips again.

About four months had passed since I saw Key off at the train station and I hadn't heard from him in about two. I laid on my bed thinking about how he was doing, if he made friends, what kind of stories he had to tell. I sat up and went to my check my mail. Walking back into the apartment I flipped through the mail and saw a letter. To: Jonghyun; From: Key. I set the rest of the mail down and quickly opened the letter. As I read the words on the letter from the man I loved with all my heart my eyes watered, tears fell, my knees gave out... I couldn't believe it... How...?

Dear Jonghyun,

If you're reading this... I'm sorry... I guess I screwed up and the thing you feared the most happened. I died. I don't know how since how I'm writing this just in case but it happened. I'm hopping this letter will never be sent off to you and if it is please... don't cry, don't hate yourself for letting me go. It was my choice after all...

I wanted you to know that I love you with all my heart. I remember when we first met, when I first saw you, when I fell in love with you. Everything. I wanted to be able to send the rest of my time with you; I wanted to be able to have you by my side when I passed that or I wanted to be by yours when you passed. I never wanted to leave you side, not like this.

I will truly miss you... it's been hard without you but I've been trying my best to not let it overwhelm me.... I don't want to be dead Jonghyun.... I'm sure you're probably crying your eyes out right now. If only I could hug you and comfort you... I'm sorry. But it's better if I tell you this myself and not the government.

Love always even in death, Kim Kibum

P.S. Thank you... for everything you've done. Because of you I died happy, I died with a smile, I died with you in mind. You changed me and I will never forget that. Thank you...