You know, I've always wondered why the title of this song (아픈데 좋아) was translated as Love Hurts because it's not exactly really accurate. Rather, the meaning of the song title should be more towards, "Even Though It Hurts I Still Like You' or 'I Like You Even Though It Hurts'. Something along those lines. But that's not really important as long as you get the gist of what I mean, yeah?

You might be wondering why I'm rambling about this but it's because the chapter, just like all the other chapters written before, has a slight reference to the lyrics of the song and I just wanted to clarify any misconceptions, since 'Love Hurts' makes the song sound misleading, as though it's some heart-wrenching ballad about a lost love when in fact the song is really cutesy and upbeat.

So yes. Enjoy!

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- Flashback to 8 Months Ago -

A soft rustle of garments drifted into his ears and Hak Yeon could vaguely register slight movement up ahead in the near darkness. The shadow shifted before disappearing from sight. Hak Yeon tensed up, mind running wild with possibilities of who, or what, the blurry figure might be, and he drew the video camera closer to his chest, exhaling a jittery breath that no doubt had been caught by the audio equipment.

His thoughts went back to that one time, just once, Won Shik had convinced the whole dorm to watch an episode of Lost Tapes with him on Discovery Channel. Every single one of the victims on the show had been alone when they were captured by those creatures of the night – a situation Hak Yeon found chillingly parallel to his current state – and a shiver ran down his spine.

“At least I’ll become famous from this and Won Shik would see me on one of the episodes,” Hak Yeon reassured himself under his breath as the images on the camera screen shook with his trembling hand. “I’ll make it on international TV and my demise would be catalogued, every step leading up to my inevitable death recorded on this dastardly thing. Damn, everyone’s going to know Cha Hak Yeon as a scaredy cat who vanished mysteriously while running an errand after losing a bet to his dongsaengs. How embarrassing. Maybe Taek Woonie could convince the producers to edit those parts out…? Gosh, I really hope so. The last thing I need would be–”

So engrossed in his meanderings, Hak Yeon had stopped keeping track of the direction he was going in and had only been stopped after walking into a hard surface that wrapped its arms around the leader and drew him into a warm, beating chest. The twenty-three year old let out a screechy yelp that pierced the thick silence of the serene neighbourhood as he fumbled to keep the camera from falling from his clammy palms, just as a mellow tenor voice called out his name. “Hak Yeon ah…”

“Taek Woonie!”  Hak Yeon squeaked in half-protest, having recognised it as the voice of his boyfriend. He pulled out of the younger’s embrace and stabilised himself, eyes going to the camera as he inspected it for any damage sustained in the chest-to-chest sandwiching process. Having cleared it of any damage, Hak Yeon held it upright again and pointed it straight forward, the night vision mode capturing a split-second frame of the main vocalist’s bemused expression before it was wiped from the handsome face. “Taek Woonie! You gave me a fright! What are you doing here? You didn’t lose the game; you didn’t have to get off the car.”

The other leaned forward and placed his large hand over the camera lens, thumb positioned over the microphone to block out any image or audio from transmitting. “But you’re afraid of the dark. I can’t possibly let my boyfriend walk home alone, can I?”

Hak Yeon flushed a bright shade of pink that no doubt would’ve been visible if not for the minimal lighting and he huffed, cheeks blowing an adorable raspberry even as he felt delightful tingles all over being referred to as Taek Woon’s boyfriend. “You should’ve just alighted with me just now instead of waiting all the way here by yourself. What if something happened to you?”

“Don’t be silly. You’re letting your imagination get the better of you again.” Taek Woon ruffled Hak Yeon’s hair with his free hand as he slid his palm down the side of the elder’s face, cupping his flaming red cheek affectionately. “You’re so adorable.”

Taek Woon dropped both hands and tucked them into his pockets, turning on his heels while humming a light tune under his breath. “Come on, let’s go. It’s getting late. I have half a mind not to get the groceries if we didn’t oh-so desperately need them tomorrow.”

Hak Yeon adjusted the video camera in his grip before scampering after the other. “Taek Woonie, wait! Wait for me! Don’t leave me behind! You know I’ll get scared!”

Silly boy, you know I’ll never leave you. A light smile caressed the corners of Taek Woon’s lips as he halted momentarily to allow for the elder to catch up before reverting to his usual stony face when Hak Yeon matched his step and they headed off side by side.

- End of Flashback -

Taek Woon roused in the dead of the night and patted around in the darkness to find the mattress on his right void of its occupant. All sleepiness left him at once and he shot up straight, hearing sharp and eyes widened. His vision adapted to the dim surroundings and when he could finally see clearly he glanced to the right, only to confirm the fact that there was no one sandwiched between him and the wall. A few taps on his iPad and buttons pressed revealed the time to be a quarter past 3 in the morning.

Hak Yeon couldn’t have gone far. He wouldn’t dare to have ventured out of the dorm by himself at this time. This means that he must be somewhere in here, then. The revelation calmed the main vocalist somewhat, but worry lines still creased his forehead as he climbed to his feet unsteadily and slipped out of the bedroom. God, he must be thinking about what happened earlier on today.

Hak Yeon thought he’d been subtle when hiding his emotions from everyone else, but that was only what he thought. The main vocalist, however, had seen right through the leader’s impeccable mask without hesitation. No matter what the current status of their complicated relationship was, they were, after all, soul mates. Their hearts, minds and souls were connected.

Taek Woon had seen every single emotion that crossed the other’s face when the anti fan came up to the leader, and each heartbreaking expression was permanently etched into his memory. At the end of the event as the fans were vacating the venue and none of the staffed personnel were paying attention, the singer had made his way over to Hak Yeon’s vacated seat and pocketed the crumpled post-it and secretly read it at the side while waiting for the other members to board their car first.

When he read it though, his blood boiled and he so wanted to personally lead a witch hunt and track down the girl who had given that note and preferably burn her on a stake in public. How dare she say such a thing to his sweet, innocent angel. His nostrils flared at the thought of allowing the girl to get away scot free and he couldn’t help looking like he’d bitten a lemon when he joined the rest in the vehicle. Won Shik had noted the sour expression that crossed the his face and was about to make a smart comment when he saw the deadly fire that burned in the elder’s eyes and decided against it, leaving the singer to stew in his thoughts the whole of the excruciatingly long ride home while occasionally sneaking glances at the boy riding shotgun directly in front of him.

Right now, Taek Woon’s chest still burned with the unmistakable feeling of heartache at the thought of Hak Yeon seated in that foldable plastic chair back at the fan sign event, heart-wrenchingly vulnerable and drowning in self-despair as he battled with his inner demons all alone while everyone around him remained oblivious to the struggle. He knew that feeling all too well, and even though Hak Yeon and him weren’t on speaking terms right now, he could never bear to let the elder go through this all by himself.

Taek Woon silently entered the living room and saw the silhouette of his boyfriend huddled in the corner next to the sliding glass doors that opened up into the balcony with knees drawn to his chest. Muffled cries reverberated within the walls of the cramped rectangular space and each sniffle pierced straight into the singer’s heart.

“You deserve this, Cha Hak Yeon… You deserve this…” Hak Yeon’s shoulders heaved with effort as he fought to keep the inflow of oxygen into his lungs in between sobs. “You deserve every bit of this for saying all those mean words to Taek Woon. It hurts having everything thrown back at you, doesn’t it? This is retribution for your actions… You deserve being called a man …”

What has society done to keep a man up at 3 in the morning, repenting his so-called ‘sins’? To make him believe that karma was a way of life, the way of life, that the only way to get by was to live an eye for an eye, tooth for tooth, and that he was only getting what he deserved? That being labelled falsified derogatory terms was okay?

With injustice roiling in the pits of his stomach, Taek Woon padded across the wooden floor and knelt down in front of his beau and placed his hands over the leader’s interlocked ones and pulled them apart forcefully. Hak Yeon’s tear-rimmed eyes shot open in shock before a look of realisation set in. The singer held his arms open and gladly accepted the other when Hak Yeon threw himself into his embrace willingly. “I’m sorry, Taek Woonie, I’m so sorry!”

Taek Woon rocked back on his heels and sat down on the parquet floorboards, manoeuvring the elder in his arms who had naturally crawled into his lap and wrapped his arms around the younger’s neck. The singer ran his fingers through Hak Yeon’s faded silver locks and smoothed them out, sliding his hand down the side of his tan face. “Love… Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me anything?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have said everything that I said that night and I shouldn’t have been jealous of you despite knowing you only share a platonic relationship with the kids. I’m sorry I became arrogant because of your love and took you for granted. I’ve now learnt that I really, absolutely can’t live without you. Please accept me back into your heart. I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your approval again. Please don’t break up with me. Don’t ever break up with me.”

“You’ve never left my heart, Hak Yeon ah.” Taek Woon breathed as he rested his chin on top of the crown of the elder’s head contentedly. “You’ve always been residing in there ever since the day you met my gaze in the dance studio as you introduced yourself. In the month that we were apart, your place in my heart only grew as I longed for you more with each passing day. I’m sorry for ever doubting that your love wasn’t enough. Cha Hak Yeon, how could I ever live without you?”

Taek Woon released a long exhale he hadn’t realised he was holding in, his warm breath ruffling strands of Hak Yeon’s silvery hair as he fixated his eyes on a spot on the blank wall. “I do get jealous too when I see you interact with the other members so intimately. But I trust in you fully and know that you wouldn’t stray. In the same way, you need to put in the same amount of trust in me and believe me when I say that my love is enough for the both of us.”

Taek Woon could feel the collar of his shirt dampening as Hak Yeon sniffled against his chest. “But you deserve so much more, Taek Woonie… Yet, I’m such a selfish prick who refused to let go of you…”

A deep frown creased Taek Woon’s eyebrows as he held the elder at arm’s length, hands clamping down firmly on both sides the other’s shoulders. “Cha Hak Yeon, don’t you ever say that, got it? You’re more than enough for me. You always were and forever will be.”

Taek Woon pulled Hak Yeon closer to his chest and heard a soft sigh of contentment when the leader rested his head on his shoulder and pressed his tear-streaked face into his neck. “The anti fan was horrible. It really, really hurt to see someone call me names right in my face. How could someone be so hateful towards a person she doesn’t even know? I’m not really a man , Taek Woon, am I?”

“No, love, you’re not. You’re every single pleasant word that comes to mind.” Taek Woon whispered tenderly as he pressed a kiss onto the side of Hak Yeon’s temple. “You’re mine and mine only, just like I am yours, and we are not to be shared with anyone else.”

Wrapped up in the comforting warmth of his boyfriend’s embrace, Taek Woon could hear Hak Yeon’s hitched breathing slowly even out and see his eyelids starting to droop and he gently nudged the leader awake. “Love, it’s crazily late right now. What were you doing out here in the middle of the night? Heck no, it’s not even night anymore but almost dawn.”

“I was… I was writing this for you…” Hak Yeon mumbled shyly as he extracted himself from Taek Woon’s grip and crawled forward on his hands and knees to where he had been originally located. He reached behind the sofa and pulled out a single white sheet of paper that was only half-filled with neatly printed lines of words, holding it out for the younger to see. “I started hours ago but I still just can’t find the words to say.”

“You silly idiot,” Taek Woon stretched his arm forward and with his index finger poked the other in the middle of his forehead, lips curving upwards as he saw the adorable tiny pout that formed on the elder’s obstinate mouth. “You know you’re terrified of the dark yet you put yourself through the torture all for me.”

Taek Woon gently prised the piece of paper from his beau’s fingers and read it as Hak Yeon looked on warily, nervously twiddling his thumbs as the singer’s eyes flew from line to line. “I… Remember how I confessed to you through a letter? I guess, in the same manner, I wanted to apologise to you through one too. It was the only idea I had in mind, but I’m not done with it yet…”

Hak Yeon petered off near the end as he waited for the singer to look up before continuing. The leader squared his jaw and met the other’s unwavering gaze. “I… I’m sorry, Taek Woonie…”

Taek Woon reached forward and cupped the elder’s face in the palm of his hand, leaning in close to place a soft kiss on the leader’s pliant mouth. “You don’t have to apologise, Hak Yeon. We are both at fault. We should never have acted out at the spur of the moment on those childish emotions. We’ve only resulted in hurting each other with our senseless words.”

“Never again,” Hak Yeon responded firmly. “Never again am I going to hurt you with my words or actions. Never again will I doubt you.”

“And never again will I leave you. I will remind you of how much I love you every single day because you don’t deserve anything less.” Taek Woon resounded with equal amount of conviction. He rose to his feet before extending both hands and tugging Hak Yeon up from the ground as well, arms encircling the elder’s waist. “Now let’s go back to bed, shall we? I haven’t held you while we slept in over a month. Right now I’m aching to have you in my arms again and we only have less than two hours of privacy together after which we have to disentangle ourselves before the rest of them wake up.”

The leader rolled his eyes and smacked Taek Woon’s shoulder to cover up the blush dotting his cheeks. “Yah! Why are you being so cheesy? If only the others knew you were actually such a person, they would never look at you the same way again.”

 “But they would never know, because I’m not planning on acting this way to anyone else besides you any time soon.” Taek Woon bopped the elder’s nose endearingly, darting the swing of the arm that followed subsequently with cat-like agility.

“Aish, the cheese! And sometimes I wonder why I fell for you…”