*First Glance

The moment of conversion may be one of the most memorable experiences of being a fangirl. You may have seen your true bias in a television show, heard his or her voice through the radio, or recommended by your friends. It may be one of these instances, but the most cherishing moment is when you look at his or her face. How you were mesmerized and overwhelmed by these overflowing "feels" you now have.

I have read that there are steps or stages in being a fan. First stage is when you find your bias attractive. Somehow his or her beautiful eyes captured your soul and transported it to a different place. Somehow his or her voice calmed your senses or maybe even made you emotional. After being interested, you search him or her in the internet, knowing the basic information about him or her. Next, you search for a couple of pictures. You see some flaws like eyes too big, lips too full, nose too big, or skin too dark. Somehow these imperfections affected you,and you may be taken back a little. But still, something still remains in your heart and you continue to admire the idol in the computer screen.

Next, you watch the  fan cams that are scattered along Youtube. You're taken back by his or her grace while performing. Sometimes you see yourself staring at that idol for five minutes, with him or her just sitting there for a fan signing. You admire how cute he moves, somehow wishing that you were the pen he or she was holding. You often listen to their songs, and next thing you know you magically memorized the whole thing.

Now, your phone is full of pictures of him or her and the whole band. You already memorized the members like the back of your hand unlike before that you think they all look alike. You watched almost all of their fan cams, interviews, behind the scene footages and variety shows. You smile when they smile, cry when they cry. You see their effort and appreciation when they win an award, and somehow you feel like winning yourself because all night all you could do is vote for them online. 

Now his/her imperfections do not affect you, and you see your bias as a model of perfection.

Somehow this magical transformation changed your life. Somehow these guys make up your life. You couldn't imagine your life if you haven't met them, and even though they don't see you, you are always there to support them. 

Have you experienced these kind of moments?