The Girl and the Sea [done by Funoverkpop]
Dreams#Clouds~Kpop REVIEWS SHOP
THE GIRl and the Sea
Title: 4/5
I must say it is really intriguing, the title. The title made people wonder what does the author meant by the girl and the sea . However, the originality is a bit lacking and it is unable to attract certain type of readers who were looking forward to stories who are looking forward to something not that 'English literature' type. 'English literature' something poetic and lovely and somehow fixed concept of romance.However, I must say your title is a good one:), it fits the mood and the style of your writing! great work:)
Foreword: 8/10
The foreword is quite short and did not let reader get the curious feeling. It gives a brief idea about the story but I like the poem, it is really good and well-written, expressing about L's feelings.
set fire to the sea.
The birds fly swiftly on the ocean
set movement to the sea.
There is a girl sitting down
on the warm golden soft sand,
singing along with the wind.
Her emotional voice brings me into her deep sea.
Her eyes sing a million songs,
that make my heart beat to the rhythm of.
Her smile arouses billions of butterflies,
that flutter in my stomach.
I hope she will notice my presence,
and we will sing together,
watching the sun dive below the horizon.
-Kim Myungsoo-
Plot: 28/30
Not only was the setting nice and comfortable, it gave a really realistic feeling! It gave a lot of information about how the place is, the small details that let the reader felt that the place was real. However, the plot is abit no ups and downs just short and sweet. Although the fact that Jiyeon had eye problems kinda surprised me but there is no real development between 2 characters, only how L feels and thinks. Nevertheless, I love the way L found out about Jiyeon's eye problem.The characters are good and well developed but ex-boyfriend part was little abrupt and a bit clinche that it did not make me feel anything actually, maybe it was because it is told from her sister, not from herself. I thought that maybe try focusing on L's feelings and attraction to her is better and trying writing in Jiyeon's POV.I love the romance that mixed with soft sweet feelings of music. I really enjoyed it. Consider a sequel?
Gramatically Sound: 10/10
The plot , characters and all are almost perfect! Of course I understood the story, it wa really an enjoyment to read your story. It is well-conveyed and clear cut. You surprised me that your first language isn't english! I must say my english isn't as good:(. So keep up! And like just now, consider a sequel?
Graphics: 5/5
Is totally awesome. Both poster and background were soothing and I read the story using my phone without stopping which is quite unusal for me as I normally be a bit tired after reading for a while because the words and the background is abit too fancy.It really was simple and nice.
OVERALL:AMAZING! It is really good and the story catches my attention towards the end. But no sequel? Consider, please? Hahah.
92/100
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