Anger.

It burned, the heat seared through his veins and inflamed his very core. His body automatically folded onto itself, unable to cope with the sheer intensity of emotions; a small whimper escaped his lips, eyes squeezed tight, and his thin arms encircled his legs, drawing them closer to his chest for support. It was too warm, so, so hot...

Fear, frustration, back to anger again.

Why him, out of all the others, why only him?

The rage subsided, only to replaced by feelings of helpless and desperation that brought tears of pity to his eyes. There was a loneliness and sadness that was so deep and despairing, his own heart ached.

Where are you, my other half, my mate,

My love...

His eyes snapped open, body jerking upright so quickly he was momentarily disoriented. Heaving for breath, he brought a trembling hand up to his chest, massaging over his heart if that would slow its frantic beating. The tears still flowed freely, but he ignored them as he adjusted his body to lean against the headboard of the bed, and turned his face upwards.

The dreams, if that's all they were, were getting worse. They had plagued him sporadically for nearly three years now, each time the emotions becoming more and more overbearing, until they consumed him. Until their feelings were one and the same, inseparable.

But this was the first time he'd ever heard another voice.

Not wanting to be alone, he reached out in the darkness, hand fumbling for the phone on his nightstand. Finding the device, he hit the familiar button, number one on speed dial, and waited, trying to level out his breathing. Calling this late was bad enough, he didn't want the other to worry more than necessary.

After the fifth ringtone, there was muffled sound on the other side, before a sleepy "What?" was heard. He bit his bottom lip, hoping his voice wouldn't waver, knowing it would. "J-Junsu, p-please..."

He was counting mentally, and was in the seven-hundreds when he heard the voices outside his bedroom, growing louder as they approached. There was a momentary silence, before his door swung open, and his best friend entered in a frenzy. "Hyuk-ah!"

Junsu the lights in full, knowing the sudden contrast wouldn't bother the other, before running towards the lone figure in bed. "Hyukjae, you-"

 Said blond merely turned his head towards his friend's voice, brows knit in frustration and milky brown eyes unfocused.

Junsu's heart clenched. He had known the other since they were toddlers, they had been best friends and brothers in all but blood for more than a decade. He should be used to it by now, but still,

When the nightmares hit, Hyukjae's blindness added to his insecurities and self-loathing in a way that made Junsu want to erase his pains, and hide him from the cruelties and hardships of reality.

But he couldn't, so he merely drew the other against his chest, tucking his face comfortably into the crook of his neck, before running a hand up and down his back soothingly. Whatever composure and stability the blond had had dissolved, and he sobbed, a hand reaching upwards and curling weakly into his friend's sleeve.

"I can't handle it, I can't. Please, please, make it go stop, Junsu," he whispered brokenly.

And Junsu, knowing there was nothing else he could do, merely tightened his protective embrace.

- - -

"How is he?"

Leeteuk didn't answer immediately, instead choosing to replace a cool towel on his charge's forehead. He sighed, looking up warily at the other. "Not good. His senses just spiked again, and it took a lot out of him."

Heechul snorted, "Way to state the obvious", but his troubled expression betrayed the attempted nonchalance. Grabbing a nearby chair, he settled down, eyes never leaving his bedridden dongsaeng.

They sat in a tense silence, the only sound was the harsh breathing coming from the youngest of the three. Leeteuk leaned back against his chair, suddenly feeling weary.

"He's already twenty-one, Heechul, he's running out of time. The academy we visited today was another fail, he just didn't feel the connection with any of the Guides there."

"Then tomorrow we'll go to another one," Heechul replied, scowling. "We'll go to every damn academy in Korea, China, wherever until we find his Guide. If you give up, if we let him give up, I'll kill you."

"It's not that simple," the other snapped back, irritated. "I care about him just as much as you Heechul, don't you dare insinuate that I don't. But his powers already peaked three years ago, and no Guide has come forward or shown any indication that they've been affected since then. Without even the slightest hint, we're running around blind."

"Then his Guide's an idiot," Heechul snarled. "If this were anyone else, I would buy ignorance. But his powers and senses are amongst the top, there's no way his Guide wouldn't be able to at least sense that something was off. Being alert for the presence of our Sentinel is something that's been beaten into us from the first days at the academy!"

"Then maybe he or she hasn't been formally trained as a Guide," Leeteuk replied calmly. "It's extremely rare, but not impossible. There have been a few cases in which they didn't even know they were Guides until very late in their lives because their surroundings were so isolated from our culture."

"Of course, why didn't I think of that," came the sarcastic response. "As if our ing pupils didn't give it away. I'm sure wherever they're from, having crosses in your eyes is perfectly normal."

"I'm just trying to think out loud. Stop trying to bait me into an argument, it won't work, Chul-ah. All we can do is continue to support and ground him in any way we can."

"Jungsu, he's too destructive. If his senses continue to be uncontrolled, then he'll lose his sanity and just ing burn everything in sight."

Their conversation died for a moment. He shifted uncomfortably, and for once, Heechul allowed his strong facade to crack, and broke the taboo.

"And if his Guide is dead?"

Then there was no hope, and they would only be able to stand by as their friend, their brother destroyed himself. But it was a reality they couldn't accept, and Leeteuk couldn't bring himself to say it.

"He's alive."

Leeteuk and Heechul both jumped up, surprised, as the figure on the bed turned towards  them. His eyes were half-lidded, exhausted, but still they were fierce and burned with determination. "My Guide is not dead, hyungs. He's not."

He turned his body, looked up at the ceiling. "He's not," he repeated, to himself more than the other two, "I just can't find him. I can't find him, hyungs..."

"Donghae," Leeteuk smiled sadly, and reached forward to lay a gentle hand on his cheek. "Of course he's not, who would know better than you, right? I'm sure he's still out there, we'll find him soon."

Donghae gave a small smile, a tired lifting of lips. "Yeah."

Heechul pushed Leeteuk out of the way, ignoring the cry of protest. "Hey kiddo, do you know how much you've made me worry? You should be sorry, if I frown too much I'll get wrinkles."

He was met with a cheeky smile. "Sorry, hyung. But I'm sure Hankyung-hyung won't leave you just because you're not pretty anymore. You'd kill him first."

"You brat," he mock growled, and ruffled the younger's hair affectionately.  "Get some rest. Tomorrow, you, Hannie and I are going to check out the Sogang Academy, that way you won't have the old man and the idiot slowing you down."

Leeteuk scowled. "Don't call Kangin an idiot! And we're the same age, who are you calling old?!"

Donghae smiled as the two ahjussis continued to argue, allowing his eyes to slide shut once again. He was so tired, his senses had been rampant a while ago, and it had taken everyhing in him to focus and remain in control of his mind. He knew the two other Guides were sending of waves of reassurance and comfort, soothing him, but it wasn't the same as having his own Guide. He felt a pang of loneliness, and burrowed himself deeper into the covers, as if it would drive the lingering darkness away.

For now, having his friends would have to be enough. But he was resolved to find his destined soon.

Their voices were getting farther and farther away, and Donghae let himself be lulled to sleep.

Good night, my beloved. We'll meet soon. I promise...

Unfortunately, no Haehyuk interaction yet. Even the author wants to get to that point >.<, gotta set up the back story quickly!

This is my first time posting on AFF, thank you for all the subscribers/comments/votes already! I really appreciate it and will do my best to not dissapoint! Comments and constructive criticism are very much loved, I'll give you a cookie? ^^ Until next time!