A/N: Hey guys! This is hopefulagain speaking to you! I'm really so sorry this particular update took so long! I was an idiot, and shut my laptop after typing out the update, and I forgot to update it so DaeJaetheBestOTP could edit it! It's my fault and mine alone. Urghh... I feel so stupid. >< I'm really sorry guys!!!

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Baby I'm Sorry

"Disowned?" Yongguk's eyebrows knitted together. Then his face smoothed itself once more, "Eyy, you're joking, right? Umma and appa wouldn't..."

Yongguk watched his brother's mouth for any signs of a smile--even the slightest twitch would reassure him. But Yongnam's lips stayed pressed into a thin line.

"Umma and appa wouldn't..." Yongguk couldn't bring himself to say the word again, so Yongnam finished his sentence for him.

"Disown you?" Yongnam's eyes were sad, "I'm so sorry." Yongnam placed a warm hand on Yongguk's shoulder, "I'm still here though. I'll always be."

Yongguk's head spun. His childhood memories, the bedtime hugs and kisses, being tucked into bed, the family holidays. Times spent with his parents. They didn't understand. They didn't understand him. They didn't want him anymore.

Yongguk's head drooped forward slowly, as if he didn't have the energy to hold it up any longer. He rested his forehead on his brother's shoulder, hiding his face in the guy's shirt. Where was his life going? Yongguk's insides felt chilled. Everything was supposed to be happy, and magical. Here he was, married to the only man he'd ever loved in his life, and his life was falling apart.

Yongguk's husband probably loved someone else. Yongguk had been selfish, and married that person, forcing them to be bound together. Yongguk could no longer return to his parents and seek comfort from his life. Yongguk didn't have much longer to live.

Not much longer to live.

All of a sudden, Yongguk smiled. It didn't reach his eyes.

"I'm going to go soon." Yongguk mumbled into his brother's shirt, words intended for no one in particular, "That's okay." Yongguk lifted his head, "How am I supposed to live life when it's killing me anyway?" Yongguk looked down at the two damp patches on his brother's sleeve, "That's okay."

Perhaps he could convince himself?

And when he left, wouldn't Himchan be free to be with Sunny? Yongguk was selfish. As long as he was alive, he wanted Himchan to be by his side. He'd considered calling their wedding off after he'd regained consciousness in the hospital, but he'd not found the strength to. Perhaps death wasn't such a bad thing. His painful, meaningless blundering on life's path would be over. Himchan could be free. His parents wouldn't have to have such an embarrassing son, they could forget him and move on.

"That's okay." Yongguk mumbled, wandering over to where Himchan stood waiting for him at the entrance of the hall. Yongguk gave a weak smile at his spouse.

"You okay?" Himchan reached out a hand to steady Yongguk when the guy stumbled and nearly fell on the way to their waiting car.

"Yeah." Yongguk's grip on Himchan's hand tightened.

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Some twenty paces behind the two guys was Jessica.

She'd seen Yongguk trip, seen him totter about. She'd been about to rush forward and catch him, when Himchan grabbed hold of the man's hand. Jessica dropped her hand to her side, and smiled wryly. She'd forgotten. She wasn't needed. Yongguk had that unfaithful bastard.

She passed a hand over her face as the newly weds' car sped away, leaving her in the dust. She couldn't bear to see Yongguk disappear like that. She loved Yongguk. The more she saw him with Himchan, the more it hurt her, the more she was sure she was in love.

But wanting him to be happy is also love, isn't it?

Jessica smiled. It didn't reach her eyes. Yes. She wanted Yongguk to be happy. And if he couldn't be happy with her, then so be it. If his last days on earth were spent happily by Himchan's side, then she would be glad for him. She would learn to live by herself, learn to deal with the pain. It'd been one sided from the start. It only made sense that she'd hurt alone.

Jessica wrapped her arms around herself--her insides felt chilled.

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All the way from the reception hall, back to their hotel room, Yongguk hadn't let go of Himchan's hand. Himchan glanced over, and found the guy dozing in the seat next to him. He watched Yongguk's face for a while, tracing his eyes over the angle of his jaw, over the curve of his cheeks, over each eyebrow and quivering eyelash. Himchan tried to burn the picture into his mind, make a permanent copy in the back of his mind.

Because he couldn't bring himself to stay with Yongguk any longer.

Himchan's mouth twitched up in a sad smile. He wasn't worthy of Yongguk's love. Himchan glanced down at their intertwined fingers, the new rings winking up at him. He winced. Here was yet another promise he'd let himself make to Yongguk. Here was yet another promise he'd have to break.

Himchan's thumb absently traced little circles on the back of Yongguk's hand.

He'd have to leave Yongguk. He shouldn't have even taken the vows, shouldn't have turned up today. But his heart spoke louder than his head when he'd seen Yongguk at the hospital, so fragile and tired-looking amongst all the sterile white. Himchan hadn't gotten the courage to say sorry, to speak the three words rattling about in his broken heart, to end this once and for all. He wasn't a good guy. He'd probably hurt Yongguk again. Himchan didn't want that, couldn't stand for that to happen.

Because he loved Yongguk--he honestly did.

To be honest, Himchan had thought of calling the wedding off when he'd rushed over to Yongguk's side. He couldn't just smile and hold Yongguk close again, knowing how much pain he'd caused Yongguk, knowing how much pain he was still probably causing Yongguk right now. Himchan wanted to wipe away Yongguk's anguished expression even as he slept.

And to be honest, Himchan saw Jessica. He'd seen the way she hovered over Yongguk, seen the way her eyes followed Yongguk as he walked beside him. Jessica probably loved Yongguk too. Perhaps if he plucked up the courage and ended things once and for all with Yongguk, the guy could be free to be with Jessica. She'd take care of him. Maybe she'd make Yongguk happier than he could ever be with him, the unfaithful husband. Yes. Himchan nodded to himself. He'd be responsible, take action, get the divorce papers.

Himchan's fingers wove themselves even tighter around Yongguk's, trying to seek an unspeakable warmth he'd lost. His insides felt chilled.

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