If. What if I didn’t come back? What if Mom and Dad went to a different orphanage and not in that of where I was staying? What if they never found me in the first place? Let’s go back a little further, shall we. What if I just died in that accident like what everyone thought had happened to me? What if I didn’t walk this path, this world—my sister’s world? Will that be enough to make her happy? 

Will my sister be finally happy?

Hello, everyone. My name is Suzy, Choi Suzy. Months ago, I didn’t have an identity, much more than memories. I was just Suzy, the girl with no last name. A girl who was found in as accident wreckage, miraculously alive, but left with no memories of her past. It was scary, not knowing who you were and where you came from. But the scariest part actually is the thought that no one loves me. Nothing can be scarier than thinking of the possibility that there is no one who cares enough to look for me. I grew up wondering if there is someone out there who is actually trying to find me. It never really mattered if my parents really abandoned me, or if they even knew that I was in that truck. What I thought then was, as long as they are looking for me, no matter how cruel or how insufferable they are—then it’s fine.

Back then, I was so convinced that having no memories is the worst feeling one can experience, but now? Is it funny that I’m starting to feel like knowing, feeling and being genuinely aware that the family you yearned for doesn’t even acknowledge you feel a lot worse?

“I hate you, because you are my sister. You are Suzy. As long as you are her, I would never accept you.”

Those were the exact words Krystal told me. Krystal, my own sister.

"Ms. Choi?" the clerk at the counter caught my attention. "Here," a piece of printed schedule in his hand, "your room for your first class would be in the room you see at the end of the hallway." he says and I bowed, thanking him.

I aimlessly walked to the direction he pointed me to while looking at the paper. A lot of thing occupying my head. Before I knew it, I was already in the room. Having a blank look on my face, I picked an empty seat to sit on and buried my face on the desk.

"This isn't right—THIS ISN'T RIGHT CHOI SUZY. You shouldn't be acting this way now," I told myself, jerking my head up sending strands of my hair flying messily. "This isn't the right time to space out. You should be thinking about the ways on how unnie will like you again, right?" I nodded to myself in response. A new fire starting to burn inside me, my fists clenched across the desk. Well, it's not impossible since Myungsoo was able to do it. If it isn't impossible, then there is no way I am giving up now. "Right, giving up is not an option. You can do this Choi Suzy—FIGHTING!!"

Series of hushes and lightning glares were thrown at me by everyone in the room. Oh, sorry. I think I cheered myself on louder than what was required. I whispered apologies and bowed my head meekly to the people around me. I feel like burying my head again on my desk for the second time today, but now it was more of embarrassment than it was of hopelessness.

While I was in the middle of listing reasons in my head why I'm not supposed to be considered a fool (the list does not look very promising), I heard a couple of girls whispering and giggling on my left. I am not really an eavesdropper, but one name had caught my attention.

"—Kim Myungsoo, yes! That's his name!" one girl had exclaimed. I looked at them, only to look away again, avoiding to meet their eyes. Myungsoo? Wait, they couldn't be talking about the Kim Myungsoo I know right?

Listening to more of their little chat, I came to a conclusion that they are actually talking about the Kim Myungsoo I know. "I know right, he's so hot! Plus he's talented as well. Isn't him being the heir of the biggest shipping company in our country makes him a little bit too perfect?"

I scoffed. What? Perfect? I know Kim Myungsoo and as far as I care, he's miles away from being perfect. He's annoying and loud and childish. Well, I must admit. He really is good looking, I'll give him that. He may be nice too, and putting his loud personality aside, he's actually very funny and a joy to be with and—wait. What the hell am I doing right now?

I turned for a second to look at them. They look really pretty, to be honest and they all look like they all came from rich families. The girl in the middle stands out among them three. She's pretty. She kinda reminds me of my sister, no one can beat Krystal unnie though.

Admirers on the first day huh? I wonder how that Myungsoo brat would react if he knew of this. Another thing to add in his list to brag about for the rest of his life, I bet.

"He's the exact ideal type for every girl," I heard her sigh, "too bad he already has a girlfriend."

My ear twitched upon hearing this. Girlfriend? If they're talking about Myungsoo's girlfriend then that's Krystal unnie. How did they even know about that? I shoved my hair behind my ear to hear them properly.

"Yeah, I saw them together." Why does it feel like his has turned into petty gossiping? "It's a waste, really. What does he even see in her?"

Oh, hear that? That was the gates of hell opening up. I can literally feel my pulse rising. How dare these rich poodles talk about my sister like that? Oh, right. I have to hold this in though. Unnie doesn’t want anyone to know that we are related right? Okay, ten seconds. Hold it in for ten seconds Suzy.

Inhale. Exhale.

“For one, her eyes are so big. Like, disturbingly big.”

“She definitely needs to fix her teeth too.” she motions to , “they’re like protruding from inside . It looked like it’s hard for her to just keep them inside,”

“Oh, and have you seen her laugh?” the girl rolled her eyes. “It’s way off if you ask me. She opens too wide and she laughs so loudly like the other person can literally see her entire digestive system. Disgusting,”

Laughter. Giggles.

End of ten seconds.

Alright, let me give these pooches a little piece of my disturbed mind. No one talks about my sister like that and gets away with it. No one. I was already standing up, blowing my fringe off my face when—

“Yeah, I saw them on the day of enrollment. They’re all over each other, going out on a date after. They went on an ice cream shop if I’m not mistaken, totally not cool.”

Buffering…

Buffer…

Buff…

Wait, what? Ice cream shop? It wasn’t Krystal unnie who went with Myungsoo on an ice cream shop after enrollment though. That was…that was me. Wait a minute, are they…talking about me? I looked at them, completely scandalized at the possibility. So you mean to say, the big eyed, rabbit toothed, embarrassing girl was…m-me!?

“He must really like her though,” the girl in the middle sighed. “to think that even when that girl looks like that he still continues dating her. And they look so happy together too, must have been nice.”

“We are NOT dating!!” I exclaimed, fist thumping my desk. They all looked at me with wide eyes.

“Pardon?” the girl in the middle asked. Too late to abort. Too l