Siwon was sitting with his laptop in front of him. He was in a plane, on his way to Beijing to film yet another Chinese drama. He sighed and rubbed his nape relieving of the stiffness that had gotten in his muscles during the long flight. He was tired, both emotionally and mentally and he feared that this was showing in his appearances as well. His busy schedules had made sure that he was working nonstop. This trip to attend the Golden Disc Awards was actually a respite. He got to meet s after a long time and spend time with them. There he could just be himself; at least tried to be, instead of Choi Siwon, the idol, the actor, the star. He missed times like the ones he had spent with s.

There was one person who was able to bring out the real him, removing all the defenses and masks put up to hide the real Choi Siwon. He was the one who understood him completely and could know his state of mind with just the variation in his voice. He was like an open book to him, the only person who was allowed to witness the raw siwon. But as fate would have it, all good things have to come to an end, and his life with his lover, his soul mate Jaejoong too came to an end.

Siwon could not place when was the exact moment that he fell for jaejoong, was it when he saved him from a bunch of hooligans one night, or meeting him at the company practice room the next day or was it when he had so openly promised to support him whenever he was needed, he was going to be by him, as a friend if he wanted it or as someone more than just friend.

Before entering the company he had a huge fight with his dad, who always wanted to control all aspects of his life. It was on his father’s wishes that he joined the company and worked towards becoming an idol. Truth be told he hated the whole world at first, but jaejoong became his refuge and he worked only to be near him and become a person who could one day be worthy of standing next to him. He was successful in his endeavor; he soon gained success with s, the one who had grown to treat him like family. His solo career was also on the rise, he was now the toast of the drama world with many Korean, Taiwanese and Chinese dramas under his belt. He also resisted the pressure that his father was putting him under and confessed his feelings to jaejoong. His feelings were reciprocated and he build a small world of his own that had just the both of them. He had decided to spend his life with jaejoong, it was when he sorted out his feelings and was about to propose him, did he get the news of jaejoong’s mother passing away. And from there everything went downhill for both the love birds. 

Soon after receiving the news, he was busy making preparations for the funereal and taking care of his broken lover. One day he received a call from the other saying that he was leaving the company along with his friends and he should also join them. Needless to say this statement was a shock to siwon who was hesitant on leaving the members behind. Perhaps sensing his dilemma, jaejoong offered him time to think about the decision.

Before making a decision it was necessary for him to analyze it from all aspects, so he headed to the practice room at the company to be alone and have clear space to think everything through. He practiced hard like there was no tomorrow. He was still hard at it when someone entered the room. The distinct sound of boots made siwon turn around, “I see you are practicing hard for the comeback. Good work, I knew you had talent for this stream” an old man with glasses on his face, said with all the goodness he could muster, yet it felt as if, instead of complimenting siwon, he was criticizing him.

“Ah! Lee Sooman-shi” siwon said bowing to him.  His bow was met with a curt nod by the elder. “But it does seems a little late to be here, don’t you think. If I am not mistaken, you have an early schedule, tomorrow.” Seeing the raised eyebrows, he continued, “I just had a meeting with the managers, and this piece of information was bought to my notice.” Satisfied with the response, siwon began “actually I wanted to speak to you. I was hoping to get an appointment fixed so that I could speak to you.”

“Well I am here now and so are you; this seems to be as good time as any, so what is it that you wanted to speak to me about.” Siwon was a little taken aback, he did not expect to speak to the chairman now, he wanted time to arrange his thoughts and present them in the most convincing manner.

“i-it is--it is about my contract with SME.” 

“What about it? You want it to be extended?”

Siwon couldn’t be sure if the chairman was pulling his leg or he was serious. “Actually I wish to be relived of the contact if possible. I do not wish to be part of the company anymore. I will of course pay my debt to the company. So you don’t have to worry about it.”

LSM just smiled at the kid in front of him, it was almost a kind smile, almost. “This is not you talking. You are not capable of making such decisions without anyone filling your ears with nonsense. It must be that wild lover of yours, right.”

Siwon flinched when LSM referred to jaejoong. He was about to open his mouth to defend his lover but was cut off.

“Don’t bother covering up for him. I have already received the news of him and his two friends meeting up with a lawyer to contest their contracts.”

Siwon was shocked as to how the news was leaked, since very few people knew about it. Still he managed to gather his composure, “the way he and his friends were treated, the news should not come as any surprise to you. I will state my stand on the subject, if Jaejoong walks, so do I. I would hope that we can solve this civilly without having to drag the matter to the courts and create a scandal of the issue.” He started to gather his stuff from the room and was aiming to leave before LSM could test his determination with any intimation tactics. This conversation had allowed him to know where exactly his loyalty laid. He was happy to remove the tiny bit of hesitation out his mind and was now ready to stand by his lover come what may.

Before he could leave, LSM spoke out in a low but clear voice, “If you even contemplate of leaving the company, then I will personally make sure that neither your lover boy nor his friends will ever be able to work in the entertainment industry ever. Not in Korea, China, Japan or anywhere else in Asia.”

Siwon turned around to the malice in LSM eyes and he was certain that he was not playing games and that the older would come true on his threats. He was surprised and shocked at the venom in the words. He was not so sure of his decision of leaving the company now. He knew how important singing was to jaejoong. It was after countless auditions that jae was able to secure a place at SME and debuting as part of DBSK was his ultimate dream come true. If he left the company, it was true that it would adversely affect his career, a topic siwon has discussed with him. But jaejoong was adamant of leaving the company that according to him was responsible for killing his mother. Even if he had to sing on the streets to gather fans, he was willing to it. Seeing this determination and love for his passion of performance, siwon could not willingly put an end to his lover's dreams. It would shatter him and break him more than anything could ever will.

So he turned towards LSM, and fell on his knees to do whatever it took to change the mind of the person in front of him, even if he had to sacrifice his ego for it. “Please don’t take away jaejoong’s dreams. He won’t live if he can’t perform. Have mercy on him, for my sake.”

Seeing the unmoving person in front of him and thinking what the man was capable; siwon threw away any tiny bit of pride that was left, seeing he was already on his knees and tears were beginning to form in his eyes thinking of the suffering his lover could go through if the man came down on extracting revenge.

While begging for his lover to be left scot free, siwon touched his forehead to the floor in ultimate ion. He was just about to put in one more appeal to LSM, when he felt the said man, moving out of the room, "Siwon, your lover and his friends would suffer for going against me. Their mentor. And if you insist on going with them, then be rest assured that I will do and am capable of doing worse things than you could possibly imagine." 

Holding on to his trousers legs in an attempt to stop him from leaving, siwon in tear filled voice said, “Fa--Father, please, please allow me to ask for one favor. I have never asked you for anything or taken advantage of the largesse that was bestowed on me. I have listened to you on every step of my life. I even agreed to join the company because you wanted too and underwent training like everyone else. I fulfilled your dream of me becoming an idol and have never ever done anything to bring shame to our family." The emotions he was going through was making it difficult to speak, but fighting the lump that was formed in his throat he continued to plead to the man that was his father, hoping to appeal any parental emotions inside of him. "I know that you did not approve of my relationship with jaejoong, so if you promise to leave him and his friends alone, I promise that I will break all my ties with him and never meet with him again."

Siwon was now openly wailing, knowing what he had just done, promising to never see the love of his life again, destroyed any vestiges of restraint he held and he broke down completely. Seeing his only son so broken did nothing to tug the heartstrings of the cruel man LSM was. He smiled seeing his son had promised to leave that tramp of a boy. He never like that lover of his son, but he always thought that it was just a phase that siwon was going through, he was expecting for him to fall out of it sooner or later. It certainly came as a shock when he came to know how serious his son was for that boy. He did what any self-respecting person would have done according to him, he decided to break apart these love birds so that his son would only be under his control and do his bidding.

"If you can truly keep the promise than I will assure you that I will not go overboard with them. There will be a case for appearance sake, but be warned if I come to know that you have contacted him in any way than the result would be much, much worse" LSM walked out letting his threat hang leaving the emotionally battered boy behind.

Siwon projected a pitiful picture, he had slumped from his prostration and was now awkwardly lying on his side with tears freely flowing and creating a small puddle on the floor. He spend the whole night like this, crying and screaming out his heartache and when morning came, he packed his bags and left for his schedule. He would not show his heartache to anyone. He would not solicit solace in anyone by confiding his sorrow, instead he would carry this wound and keep the pain fresh as a stamp exposing his cowardice in letting go of his lover.

No one was privy of the information that lead to his and jaejoong's breakup, as he never revealed it to anyone. He immersed himself in work in an effort to stop the throbbing pain in his chest that had dulled but not stooped over the years. And now he was one of the most sought after hallyu star and he knew that his lover would have been proud of his achievements, because he was the one who had complete faint in siwon’s abilities and egged him to deliver the very best, every single day. He hoped that his success would bear testimony for the belief the other had in him.

The years spend away from his lover were very hard but he up the whole ordeal knowing that this was in jaejoong’s best interest. His father too held up his part of the bargain and the case was continuing smoothly and jaejoong had started making a name for himself in the drama world. Just when his life was adjusting to watching reruns of jaejoong’s dramas and his televised appearances sneakily, his father dropped a bomb.

He was quite sure that his father was a devil incarnate, cause there could be no reason for a person to so willfully hate their only son. To further his business ambition his father had used him as a bargaining chip like his life, his feelings held no value. If his DNA had not matched to that of his father, a requisite for induction in his grandmother’s will, siwon would not have believed that LSM was his real father; because in all the years he knew him, compassion was a strange and almost alien emotion to him.

Choi Sooyoung’s claim of fame was that she is part of the famous girl group that were making waves all over Asia, the said girl was pretty with a perfect S-line figure and well-mannered too. But what many people were not aware that her family were political heavy weights with her grandparents being cabinet ministers and her father now the Minister for Culture in the present government. It certainly helped that her family was filthy rich too, may be not as much as siwon’s but close enough. To expand his label and move into more encompassing art and culture business, LSM had deemed that an alliance with Minister Choi was most beneficial and so siwon was used as a bartering piece and a contract to represent Korean culture overseas for the next ten years was granted to SM entertainment.

It was given that siwon was a raging bull when his father had sprung this news to him in the most nonchalant manner while he was leaving for a schedule. He remembered exactly how the conversation has transpired.

“Siwon your grandparents will be coming today from japan in the evening, so try to be back by 7. And try be a little upbeat today, it is your engagement. Do not dare to mop around, I do not wish to answer questions stemming from your rude behavior”

“What??? My engagement??? Are you joking?” siwon screamed at his father, all the repressed negative emotions that had collected against his father exploded like a volcano and came bursting forth.

“I have lived my life according to you, fulfilling all your wishers and fancies. I even gave up the love of my life because of you and now you are asking me to be engaged to someone else. This will not happen. I am putting my foot down, I do not care what you do to me, it couldn’t be possibly worse that what you have already done to me.” Siwon stood defiantly with his arms crossed facing his father sitting on the couch who had yet to face him.

In a calm but cold voice LSM spoke “are you sure you want to defy me. Better think this through son.” Siwon wanted to gag when he heard the man who was now walking towards him call him son. The word sounded so wrong coming from his mouth who had no idea how to treat a son. When he came face to face with his son, LSM leaned close to his ears “you know son, tomorrow is a very important day in the life of you lover, the court is going to give out verdict on the case the company has filled against them. If he was to lose, the company could easily take him and his friends to the cleaner and also bar them from ever working in the entertainment business. If the company withdraws the case then they can come out unscathed from the whole ordeal. If only somebody had the power to take such a decision, then everything would be alright. Wouldn’t you want that to happen?”

Siwon paled seeing what devious underhanded way his father had employed to reach his end. He clearly understood what was being implied. He was to act as the perfect prodigal son that he was and be prepared to burn his body, mind and soul in the infernal fire that the devil of his father was gladly stoking. When he made a decision his face betrayed the helplessness and the meek submission to unkind fate; his father like a vulture prayed on his hopelessness and in a sick and deviant way took him in his arms and hugged him. “I knew that you would make the right decision. That’s my son.”

The hug was suffocating him and he felt as if his father would squeeze the life out of him but he knew as his golden egg, LSM would not allow any harm to come to him, at least physically. Patting his shoulders in an almost loving way, LSM left saying “be ready for the party tonight, sooyoung will be waiting for you.”

A smile broke out on siwon’s face, he knew that fate could be cruel but never knew to this extent. Not only was he going to lose his lover forever, even his memories would be snatched away from him by none other than that vicious snake sooyoung, who had always tried to separate him and jaejoong so that she could be with him, and now she was finally getting her wish. It seemed to him that only he was cursed with depressing fate.

“Siwon we have landed.”

Siwon was brought back to reality by his manager’s voice. Here he was sitting watching jaejoong’s MV ‘mine’ and tormenting himself, for letting him go. The stress of keeping the normal facade while his insides were breaking into thousands of pieces had taken a toll on his health and he had fallen sick numerous times too, but he kept on pushing himself, thinking that whatever life threw at him was his punishment for not sticking together with Jaejoong. He had broken the promise he and made and now he had to carry the burden for the rest of his life.

Sometimes he though if only he had made a different choice and stayed with jaejoong, then probably things would have turned out to be different. There would have been hardships but at least he would have his lover in his warm embrace giving him all that he would need to face the obstacles in their life.

Should i end it here or should i have one more chapter uniting them...

Let me know...