Taemin sighed as he laid down on his bed, the memory of when he confessed his feelings to Onew rushing back into his memory. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to will it to the back of his mind, but to no avail.

"Hyung, could I talk to you real quick?" The seventeen year old him bit his thumb nail, a nervous habit that Key often nagged him about.

"Sure, Taemin. What's up?" Onew smiled at the maknae, not bothering to get up from the couch where he sat with Jonghyun.

"Uh, could we talk in private?" Taemin let out a nervous giggle.

"Oh, yeah." Onew quickly stood up, following the youngest into the kitchen.

"What's up?" Onew repeated, sitting down at the table as Taemin nervously turned his back and pretended to fiddle with something on the counter.

"Well, there's something I've been thinking about lately. It's kinda scaring me, a little, and I don't really know what to do about it." Taemin trailed off, glaring at the strands of chestnut colored hair extensions that fell down his shoulders.

"Are you alright? Did someone do something to you? Do I need to beat someone up?" Onew quickly rose from his seat, going over to the maknae and spinning him around the check him over for any injuries.

"No, hyung, it's nothing like that." Taemin whispered, not daring to look his hyung in the eye.

"Then what's wrong, Taeminnie?" The oldest looked confused, and Taemin's heart wanted to melt when he glanced up at the older boy.

"It's just...do you promise not to hate me, hyung?" Taemin looked at his hyung with pleading eyes.

"I promise." Onew smiled.

"Pinky promise?" Taemin held out his pinky, and Onew chuckled as he linked his pinky with Taemin's.

"Now tell me, kiddo. What's bothering you?" Onew smiled kindly at the boy, and Taemin wanted to sneer at being called 'kiddo.'

"I just...Well you see, the thing is...I think I might be gay." The last bit came out as a whisper, not having ever said the thought out loud before.

A pause came between the two, and Taemin glanced nervously at his leader.

Onew smiled, "Okay. Is that all you were worried about?"

Taemin let out a huge sigh of relief, "Oh, thank you hyung."

Jinki put his arm around the younger's shoulders, "No problem, maknae."

"Uh, hyung, can I say one more thing?" Taemin went to put his thumb nail in his mouth, only to have Onew gently lower his hand, trying to help the younger end the habit.

"Sure."

"I think I might like you, Jinki hyung." Taemin stared at the ground. He could feel Onew's arm nearly slide off of his shoulders, and he bit his lip.

"Well, I'm flattered," Jinki started, "But, to be honest, Taem, I don't really want to date anyone right now; not until SHINee is done with, or we're allowed to date."

Taemin took in a shaky breath, "Oh, yeah, I get that. Makes perfect sense, hyung! I'm...I'm just gonna go hang out with Key hyung, he's been bugging me to go shopping lately." Taemin rambled, trying to leave the awkward situation.

"Taemin, don't feel bad. I just don't wanna date anyone at the moment. It has nothing to do with you personally." Onew smiled. Taemin smiled back, albeit a bit forced.

Taemin grabbed a pillow and threw it against the wall. 

"You damn liar." Taemin choked back a sob, forcing himself to get over it already. "It's been nearly a month. Stop being such a pansy."

"Taemin! It's time for dinner!" Taemin glared at the door when he heard Key's voice shout from the kitchen.

Before Taemin could leave his room, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror.

"Fat. Ugly. Disgusting." The reflection taunted, smirking at him. He wanted to punch the figure that stared back at him.

He walked into the kitchen, sitting down in his chair and staring at the food placed in front of him. He moved the food around with his chopsticks, only bringing up a vegetable every once in a while.

"Taemin, are you not feeling well?" Taemin wanted to laugh at the concern in Minho's voice.

"I'm just not that hungry, that's all." Taemin mumbled, putting his chopsticks down and leaving the table.

"Where are you going?" Key asked him, but Taemin didn't even turn around.

"I'm gonna lie down for a while." He dragged himself back into his room, lying down on his bed and staring out the window. He watched as day slowly became night, and the lights of Seoul lit up his view.

"Taemin, I brought you some rice an