The next morning…

“Creak”. The heavy door to the hospital room opens as a sloppy looking man pushes it open with a shoulder. In his occupied hands, are a packet of fast food and his stack of notes and laptop. Finally entering, the man closed the door with a foot and made his way over to where a lone hospital bed is located.

Placing the ‘bribe’ stored in the paper bag on the table before dumping his belongings beside it, the man sighed and looked up from his coat pocket with his badge. “Good morning! I am detective Park Yoo.” Before he can finish his sentence, he notices he is speaking to an empty bed.

Taking a step back, the detective frowned as he trudges over to the messy looking bed. Noticing a trail of blood and a pile of entangled wires and tubes at the bedside, the first thought that came to his mind is that Junsu is kidnapped once again. Panicking, Yoochun shoves the badge back inside his coat and races out of the room, looking around frantically.

Finally following the blood trail after his police man instincts kicks in, Yoochun arrived in front of a cleaner’s supply store. The door is half open so he entered without knocking since it’s not even a proper door. However, just as he puts a leg in, he is attacked by a series of loud terrified scream.

Covering his ears, the man the dim light and noticed a small huddled up figure staring at him from under a shelf. The fear in those big brown eyes is disturbing though the pair of eyes is lovely. Without the oxygen mask or blood smears always present on his face whenever they meet, Yoochun had a hard time deciding if the frantic person is the boy he saved. Staring at the detective blankly, the boy looked so lost that Yoochun got a little concerned.

“Good morning… I am detective park… can I ask you some questions?” Yoochun immediately shows the boy his badge but Junsu is not receptive.

Hurling the surrounding buckets and brooms at Yoochun while he tries to get up, Junsu could not seem to stand up straight, slanting sideways, looking dangerously pale. “Calm down! I am not one of them! I’m with the police and I will help you.” Yoochun repeated his agenda just to dodge a flying brush.

Sulking, Yoochun braves the toilet roll typhoon and head towards Junsu, disarming him in a second. Pulling the thrashing boy out from the cleaner’s store by the waist, Yoochun threw the boy over his shoulder and tried to return to the room but to no avail.

Getting his crew cut hair yanked at even though there is nothing much to pull, Junsu is also slapping him all over the face. Unable to see, Yoochun had no choice but to pluck the hysterical boy off his face and scalp. Letting the boy go, the detective could not stop him from crawling back into safety below the shelves.

Getting down on his one knee, Yoochun stationed himself in front of Junsu. “Hey… Are you alright?” “What’s scaring you? You can tell me…” Yoochun whispered and patted Junsu on the head, but the young one does not respond. “I’m with the police. You are safe now.”

“What’s your name?” Giving up on reassuring the boy, Yoochun tried to start a friendly conversation with him. Reaching for Junsu’s hands, the detective patted them as well.

“Are you scared?” Yoochun asked and Junsu immediately nods his head like a nodding toy. “Why?” The detective smiled and the boy finally looks up into his eyes once again. Realising that he does not know the reasons that is causing him to act this way, Junsu bit at his nails furiously and kept hitting his own forehead with his palms instead.

“Don’t do that! You are injured!” Grabbing Junsu’s wrists and keeping them down, Yoochun urged Junsu to calm down. Gazing at Yoochun imploringly, since the detective is the first person who is able to give him a sense of security in this overwhelming setting, Junsu shook his head and shrugged his shoulder. “You don’t know why you are scared?” Yoochun raised an eye brow.

“Do you remember what happened before you were brought here? To the hospital?” Yoochun asked patiently, facing Junsu as he now squats closer to the boy in the stuffy room.

“Hos-pi-tal.” Junsu imitated the way he was slanging and Yoochun smiled, not knowing that his worst nightmare is about to unfold. Looking around himself like a lost little animal, Junsu bit at his nails again, gnawing them in random sequence.

“I will prompt your memory alright?” Yoochun finally relaxes and takes a sit, crossing his legs. “You were kidnapped. You were shot. So you ended up here.” Nodding his head, the detective willed the boy to follow, but the boy only gazed at him like he is some sort of rare species.

“Do you remember now?” Yoochun inquired again, as patiently as before. Junsu nodded his head hesitantly, obviously a monkey see monkey do since Yoochun was also nodding his head subconsciously.

Frowning at Junsu’s lack of expressions, the detective repeated everything he said before in Korean. The words he spoke finally got him some reaction as Junsu nods with what seemed to be nods of understanding. Assuming that Junsu might be an illegal immigrant, Yoochun started to stray down to wrong direction in search for Junsu’s origin.

“What is your name? Can you tell me?” Yoochun said in Korean and the boy blinked twice, starting to tug at Yoochun’s heart strings because of that cuteness, the reddened nose tip, the watery brown eyes and pallid full lips. Junsu nods his head again and Yoochun is concerned.

“Tell me then… your name…” Yoochun repeated in Korean but Junsu simply nodded for the umpteenth time. “You don’t remember your name?” Yoochun asked and the boy nodded once more.

Suspiring loudly, Yoochun inched towards Junsu and cupped both his ears lightly, stopping the boy’s eyes from roving around blankly. “Look at me. Now… I need to catch your kidnappers… so can you at least tell me your name so I can send you home?” Yoochun asked in Korean. Junsu blinked and nodded. Yoochun repeated his sentence in English the second time and the boy nodded again. By now, the detective’s blood is boiling.

“I am being very serious here.” Raising his voice a little, inevitably, Junsu senses the older man’s frustration and tried to open his mouth and speak up. However, his lips will only part and shut like a gaping goldfish’s mouth. “What do you speak? Greek?!” Yoochun cursed lowly under his breath.

“I… I…” The sound of words coming out of Junsu’s mouth sounded almost like a little song bird and Yoochun wondered where that shrill scream came from earlier. “I am…” Junsu said in Korean before repeating in English again, as if unsure what language he is capable of speaking at the first place.

“You can speak Korean to me. I know Korean.” Yoochun’s hope is ignited and the anticipation is killing him as Junsu looks to be thinking really hard, biting his nails even more aggressively. However, the anti- descended on Yoochun in an instant, crushing his hopes.

Tears started to sprout and the boy began sniffling instead. “Who?” The boy asked the alarmed Yoochun. “I don’t know.” The boy started to claw at his own hair and hit his head with the heel of his palms again. “I don’t know who!!” The boy said in Korean. Yoochun immediately thought he was trying to be funny.

“Don’t fool around with me. This is serious! I need to know who you are! You can at least tell me that!!” Yoochun started speaking quickly, as if rapping. “Are you even legal?! I won’t deport you if you promise to tell me the truth alright?!” Yoochun is almost barking by now and Junsu is feeling very pressurised.

Bawling like a little kid, the younger one rubbed at his eyes while he swims through his empty memory archive in search for answers. “Nothing!!” “Nothing!!” Hopping up and down desperately, Junsu cried out while trying to extricate himself from Yoochun’s grip. The detective feels like bursting into tears too, as his only chance for gathering information dissipates just like that.

“Empty!! NOTHING!!!” Screaming at the top of his lungs while he clutches onto the dressing at the back of his head, Junsu stood up but stiffened and fell face first on top of Yoochun. He is lucky that the detective is there to break his fall.

“Hey! Hey!!” Helping the now silent boy off him, Yoochun is shocked to see his interviewee convulsing in front of him. Shouting for help while lifting Junsu off the ground, the man dashed out from the cleaner’s store with the boy and runs into a bunch of anxious nurses and doctors who were searching for the missing Junsu.

Pulling Junsu from the detective, two of the nurses quickly positioned the boy sideways while the doctors work on him. Pushing pass him as the healthcare workers prepare the medications for the boy, Yoochun is shoved into a corner of the corridor to stand by and wait.

After nearly half an hour, a doctor finally emerges from behind the closed door and approaches the despondent Yoochun.

“Did you do anything to agitate him earlier?” The doctor asked rather accusingly and the detectives shrugged guiltily. “I was just asking for his name…” Yoochun replied in self-defence. “He was already hiding in the store when I found him earlier…”

Sighing, the doctor turned and took a long look at the closed room door before giving a possible suggestion for Junsu’s erratic behaviour. “It’s probably because of the traumatic experience he had with the kidnap attempt…” “He wasn’t really responding when he first woke so I thought it might be the language barrier…”

“Is his traumatic experience the reason why he doesn’t remember a single thing?” Yoochun asked, disconcerted.

“Well… You asked him and he doesn’t remember anything?” The doctor asked and the detective nodded.

“We might need to perform another brain scan to determine the cause of his memory loss…” The doctor replied and Yoochun can feel the skies literally come crashing down on him.

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POV from Yoochun

I got a call from the hospital this morning to inform me that he had finally awakened and I was thanking the heavens for the kindness shown to me. But now, I take that back…

I did not manage to get the headquarters to give me the funding even after I’ve thrashed things out with them face to face, but they did promise to reimburse me after I send him back, which is as good as it gets. I was still happily planning on how to set aside my department funds and even prepared some of my own savings for this, but now what?

If he does not remember who he is, what do I do with him?! I’ve already checked through missing person’s database for citizens and there are no records available... meaning he is not from here. I’ve also checked with the embassy but they say that they can’t tell me anything unless I have a name. There are thousands of foreigners coming and going! Of all age and size!! How the hell do I go through a few thousand files just to find his record? I do not have time nor do I have the leisure to do that!!

The worse thing is… he might be an illegal immigrant. If that’s the case, I won’t be able to do ANY tracing!

Now, all I need is a name! A name! His name! The one he is born with! I just need him to remember his name! That is all I am asking for now… Is he kidding around?! IF he is, he is SO going to pay for wasting my time!

Please! Please just let it be PTSD or something! I know he is shot in the head but… Oh god. He is shot in the head…

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POV from Junsu

I was floating in some black space and there was no one except me in it. Then I started sliding… or something. The next thing I know, I landed in some white… a pure white place. There were blinding lights everywhere and I can feel around me unlike how the black space was seemingly virtual.

The white space is noisier and I have regained my five senses too. But none of the people I see appear familiar. I don’t remember any familiar faces either so technically speaking… I don’t even remember how I look like too. That felt really weird so I kind of panicked.

Then there were this two big round glass panel above me and I could see my own reflection in it. I didn’t recognise myself and that really freaked me out. It’s like I’m alive before I fell into the black space but I don’t exist at all because I have zero recollections.

I don’t know how to describe it… but I was even more terrified when I can sort of understand what those people were asking me. I know they are speaking English… when did I even know how to speak their language?!

The room is big and the longer I lay there thinking and wondering, the more fearful I felt. I don’t even know why I am so scared. It’s not even because I can’t remember anything. It’s more like there is this scary thing coming for me soon and my first instinct was to run and escape. I hid under the bed… and I hid in the bathroom. Then I found the place to hide where I was feeling less exposed… but there was an intruder too.

He… I don’t know who he is either. When he said he is a police, I didn’t even know what a police was… but he gave me a feeling that he’s not a bad guy. Polices are probably good people…

He told me many things in two different languages and I can understand both, but I couldn’t really process what he was saying with all that buzzing at the back of my ear.

He asked me practical questions too. I know what he meant by ‘a name’ but I can’t think of any. My brain is empty and I can’t seem to remember any faces or names.  The more I think, the less focused I get. My head hurts, my ears are ringing and it gets so loud and painful that I can’t even see straight.