I woke up the next day...on my bed, all tucked in my comforter. There was a part of me wishing last night wasn't real and a tiny, stubborn part saying it was all real and things will definitely be awkward from now on. I wanted to stay on the bed to think about last night the whole day when I smelled something enticing from downstairs.

Someone was cooking.

"Is that Junhong...cooking..." I wondered and smiled a bit imagining how he looks like while cooking. When I realized what was going on in my head, I immediately shook it off. "Y-yah, Mikki. Don't think of him that way. Ahhh~ What do I do...we just...and he just...oh my god." 

I buried my face on my pillow like it was the only thing that could shield me from all the embrassment that might come after.

We almost kissed.

He confessed to me.

And I kind of rejected him.

"I don't want to go down~" I feared what was ahead as I threw the blanket over my head and hoped it really wasn't Junhong cooking downstairs.

The lovely smell from the kitchen is stronger...Hmmm, I woke up from my short nap and pushed the blanket away from my face only to see Junhong arranging something at my bedroom table.

Junhong...

Hm...that name...

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" I pulled the blankets to my body. "What are you doing here!!"

"Yah! You scared me!" He held unto his heart. "Ah, I almost spilled the coffee too."

"Coffee?! What--" I looked over to what he was busy doing...

He smiled at me. "Breakfast."

"B-breakfast?" I was panting and I looked like I found out about a very scary thing. 

He looked at me weirdly. "Yeah. Are you okay?" 

"Y-yeah, of course. Uhm...I..." He didn't let me finish my sentence as he approached me and felt my forehead.

I felt the heat rush up my cheeks.

"You seem hot..." The concern on his face showed as he sat down on my bed and used both his hands this time to cup my cheeks. "You need to take medicine just in case a fever is starting." He stared at me for the longest of time again...just like last night when I felt his forehead instead.

I wish it didn't have to come to this. But we can't escape it forever so I took it upon myself to bring up what happened last night...as much as I kind of fail at doing it...

"Hmmm, la-last night...Junhong..." 

"Oh yeah. Last night..." He cut me off again. He scratched the back of his head and sheepishly smiled. "I'm sorry you had to see me like that. And if ever I did anything wrong...I hope I didn't, I'm really sorry, Mikki. I tend to forget things when I'm drunk so...uh, here's breakfast I especially prepared for you! I hope you don't mind me using your kitchen. You have to eat first then I'll let you drink medicine."

He said way too much that all I could do was nod. So...he doesn't remember last night? He went and fixed my breakfast on a foldable table we had and we both had breakfast on my bed. It was a little too romantic for my taste so I had a hard time swallowing the food. Meanwhile, Junhong thinks I'm really sick...

I guess I am...

We were finishing the food when he spoke up, "I carried you here. And tucked you to bed."

I nodded as I sipped from my coffee. "Mm, thanks."

"I watched you sleep for a while and thought Mikki is really cute." 

I choked.

I spilled coffee.

I died...

No, I didn't die but I just wish my bed swallows me whole right now.

Why is he saying things like these! My cheeks probably look as red as tomatoes right now.

He chuckled as he reached a tissue and wiped coffee from my hand and my mouth. I am so embarrassing.

When I thought he would stop...he didn't. He spoke up again, "We were really hugging each other tight when I woke up...what happened last night?"

I almost sprayed my coffee to his face if I hadn't covered my mouth. 

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked with a laugh. "Does the coffee taste that bad? You keep spitting it out hahaha."

I shook my head and took the tissue from him. "Look. Nothing happened last night, okay. You...were really drunk and you said you needed a /friendly/ hug so I gave you a veeeeeeery /friendly/ hug and well, we fell asleep. Which is perfectly normal for /friends/ like us. You know our /friendship/ is really sincere. I was being a nice /friend/. That's it." I stood up abruptly, almost spilling everything. We caught each other's eyes and knew we were both lying to ourselves. "I'm sorry...I'm going to shower. If you leave, just lock the door behind you."

He grabbed me by the hand again and put me to a stop. I kind of knew this was going to happen.

"Junhong..."

"Come take medicine first before I go."

We went downstairs and I pouted at his back.

He's making it harder for me...

I just want to forget what happened last night. I want to stay normal with him and not go into complicated stuff like love...I just...

"Is this where your medicines are?" He was talking to me but not looking at me...that's a first.

"Yeah." I sat on one of our bar stools and stared at his back as he searched for that medicine.

I feel really bad last night...I didn't mean to reject him...or make it look like I did. I just didn't know what to say.
I mean, he could be just kidding. But then his eyes...and he said my name and he hugged me so tightly...
I'm pretty sure he was serious about it. Yeah, Mikki, he was! I just don't know if I could...love...him back though.

Ever since we met, it's like I entered his world and he entered mine. But it scares me. There still are things that I don't know about him, and he about me. If this goes on, and I really do fall for him, what's going to happen next? We might get into a fight, break up and lose everything we've been through for the past weeks. He's just a fairly new friend but I really like him as a friend. I just don't show it much but I really appreciate him. I may not look like it but I'm actually really happy someone like him cares for me. Everyday, I feel as if I'm special because of him. I really like him as a friend. And as a person. I...might like him for more than that but no. I just can't. I don't want to hurt him...and I don't think...I mean, I can't believe someone would even love me like...

"Does something hurt?" His voice completely washed away my train of thoughts.

"Huh...?" I turned to him and he was already brushing something away from my eyes with his thumb. I was surprised myself. I was crying...

"Mikki...I can't leave you like this." He sat down on the chair beside me and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, "Tell me. Where does it hurt? Do you need to rest more? Should we go to the hospital?"

I stared at him, still taken aback whenever he shows his concern for me. The more I look at him, the more it hurts.

I hugged him and held unto him like my life depended on it. I sobbed and tears just kept coming. I didn't know what I was crying for but something really hurts, like a war was going on inside me. I hugged him for dear life.

I hugged the very reason I was having thoughts on falling in love...for the first time.

It scared me...

And I voiced out another one of the most terrifying things I know...

"I like you too."