Time. Is it day? Is it night? His senses are disoriented.

"What do you want?" He shouts at her in a hoarse voice from a bed of drained beer bottles boxed in broken furniture. He must look like a pathetic fool to her but he didn't give a .

"You haven't been to school for the past week or two, senpai."

Sho pulls himself up from the ground and begins to stagger like a drunkard towards her. He wants to be able to see it... her face centered in a mane of tangles. "Xinling... it's not like you to care." He reaches out his arms to grab her. The act of desperation is too much for him and he slumps forward, exhausted and broken. His dead weight knocks her down to the dusty ground. His forehead rests against her abdomen. He clutches to her small frame like a frighten child seeking comfort.

"If I hadn't asked her to stay behind that day, maybe she would still be alive now." He mumbles and whimpers.

"You're being stupid." She glides a fingernail against his sweaty scalp. "How is any of it your fault? Were you there when Asano-san fell down the stairs and broke her neck?"

He winces and raises his head to look into her eyes... those stifling god-forsaken eyes... Sho tries to swallow despite his dry scratchy throat. "I have to ask you something..." He chokes.

Fear wiggles like maggots underneath his skin and he shudders. His body is already trembling in anticipation.

"What is it you want to ask me?"

"Were you there... when she fell?"

"Yes, senpai. I watched her fall."

"Xinling, I want to know the truth. Did you... did you push Mika?"

Xinling takes a while to reply. She is hiding something. She makes it all too obvious. "Whether I did or not, in the end, the truth doesn't matter. It can't bring a dead person back to life. It can't give you any comfort or relief. It's completely useless."

"Then... but... it..." He sounds as though he is sniveling, staining her school uniform with his body fluids.

"Do you love her that much? Do you love her more than you love me?" She places an angry kiss on his forehead, marring it with her bloody lip gloss. "What are you doing to yourself right now, senpai? Hmm? Stop and think for a moment. Is she worth your life? Is anyone worth it?" Xinling watches him flinch, double over, and vomit.

She thumps his back hard, forcing the rest out through his mouth and nostrils. "Unlike the truth, this will make you feel better. Isn't that so?"

Xinling holds his head against her. She can feel him sobbing bitterly. It is the first time she sees him like this. What vicious conflict he must suffer. Is he struggling to protect her? What a silly boy.

"I want to die!" He howls, exposing the veins in his neck.

"Shhh..." She wipes his mouth with her sleeve. "Let's see... shall I give you a reward for being so loyal?" She treats him like a favorite pet. "Shall we go out and play?" Her voice paints a rainbow in his subconscious mind. "Shall I... make you forget this pain in your heart?" Her words. Serene. Sincere. "Say the word, senpai, and I will make it all go away."

"Can... you?" He is half in hope, half in despair.

"Yes. Don't you trust me?" Her smile is too sweet, bordering lunacy.

• • • • • • •

Xinling slid the blue notebook across the countertop to Jaejoong. He drew it towards him and skimmed her chicken scratches. "You wrote in a few extra steps but everything else looks good. Did you finish your English notes? I need the book back for tomorrow."

She threw her head back and groaned. " me."

"Not now." Jaejoong removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.

Xinling rolled her head forward and propped her elbows up on the countertop. "Ho, ho. And why not? You any and every girl who asks. Nice guy, right? The word 'no' doesn't come easy to Kim Jaejoong."

"You read me like an open book."

"So does everyone else. Well, that side of you, anyway. Is it supposed to be hard? Give me my reward."

"If you must know, I give it to you every time you're asleep."

"Bull."

"Who do you think did it, manipulating your dreams these last few weeks?"

"THEY did?"

"So that's what's been on your mind..."

"Did you really think it was about homework, exams, and school?"

"You tell me... you're the delinquent."

"All of it doesn't matter. We're living a lie."

"Can you even call this living?" He chuckled. "When you are forced to do things to feel alive."

For a long spell, Xinling merely stared at him, not uttering a word. Jaejoong had known. Only he had known... from the very beginning. He was part of the problem as much as she was. "The pain is real."

"It can be fixed." His choice of words caused her to stand up abruptly, knocking over the stool. She grabbed the glass of water and hurled it in his face. It felt like a scene in a movie. Were THEY watching?

Xinling stormed out of the kitchen. The walls disintegrated around her. Fixed? Could it be fixed? What she yearned for could never be found in this world. Never. Ever. Forever. When will it end? Never. She realized it far too late. The insensitive prick. To the others, she must have sounded just like him, relentless and ruthless. Unmistakable. Unreachable. The nook in the night where evil sleeps.

Fiction. Lies. Deception.

Try to get away... try to get away.

She fumbled frantically through her memories. What didn't make sense? What didn't belong? It was her, wasn't it? The lights went out in her mind, leaving her in the ugly dark. Her childhood. Her family. She remembered everything except for their faces. Like those men and the inspector, they had no face. She reached out at the blackness, groping blindly. There is no need to be alarmed. Who said that? We will now put you to sleep. Everything slowed. The voices sounded as though they were coming from behind the glass. You are safe here. Safe.