IV A little bit of sectrets

“A picture is a secret about a secret, the more it tells you the less you know. ”

―  Diane Arbus

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The wind was a little cold, but the sun that shined highly on them, gave a small source of warmth. They walked with their hands in their pockets. A small backpack hung of Kyuhyun’s arm, bouncing a little, as they walk down the road. The road was quiet, lifeless, as if no one lived there, yet a small black cat crossed their road. Kyuhyun didn’t respond to this, yet Ryeowook frowned at this sight and stopped walking for a second. He wasn’t superstitious, but he always remembered this one particular superstition, making the small part of his brain wonder - if his day will be unlucky? Kyuhyun didn’t react to Ryeowook’s halting movements. He glanced at the black cat that was currently laying on the trash bin, basking in the morning sun, then at Ryeowook.

“It’s just a black cat.” Kyuhyun said. He rolled his eyes, when Ryeowook didn’t move and grabbed the latter by the wrist and pulled him, making Ryeowook walk again. Kyuhyun let go of Ryeowook, when they exited the road and walked into the more crowned one. There were quite a lot of people; rushing to school, work etc. Kyuhyun and Ryeowook headed to the bus station, saying nothing. They didn’t wait long for the bus to arrive. As soon as they stood up, the blue bus, with commercial signs all over it, stopped and Kyuhyun guided Ryeowook inside with him. Kyuhyun paid for their tickets then stood next to the window, because all seats were taken. They didn’t say a word for around 15 min, when Kyuhyun finally broke the uncomfortable silence.

“Don’t talk much with my co-workers. They will try to ask you a lot of question or odd ones, but don’t answer them. I will do the talking.” Kyuhyun looked dully at Ryeowook for a second then moved his gaze outside the window, when Ryeowook looked at him questioningly. The shorter man wondered why Kyuhyun told him this and what his job exactly looks like. Kyuhyun didn’t tell him anything about his job, just this- that was useless. He was sure that he will not say a thing, because he didn’t know a thing.

They were driving when the bus stopped suddenly, making Ryeowook almost fall on Kyuhyun, but the taller man halted him, by grabbing his arm.

“T-thank y-you.” Ryeowook stuttered, when he realized that they were just a step from touching each other’s chests. He looked at Kyuhyun who was looking back at him. His dark brown eyes trapped his own. He felt as if Kyuhyun broke into his soul by looking at him like that. His eyes stabbing every corner of his painful heart, trying to read him like a book. Suddenly, Ryeowook felt a stab in his heart, as if Kyuhyun tore the wound that was slowly heeling. This made Ryeowook look away from Kyuhyun’s eyes. He felt exposed a little. He felt that Kyuhyun read about his past, by just looking inside his eyes. Kind of like a magician, or a witch that knows everything about other person. People say the eyes are the mirror of our soul, and Ryeowook wondered if Kyuhyun was able to read his eyes like that. If so, he wondered what Kyuhyun thought about him and his past. He wasn’t pure and innocent anymore. He wasn’t the person Kyuhyun was seeking for, yet a small part of him wanted to be this person. But he knew, by reading his eyes, Kyuhyun will find the horrible past and the horrifying present that Ryeowook has. And he wondered what Kyuhyun will say about the matter, when he learn everything.

“We are almost there.” Kyuhyun suddenly said, making Ryeowook snap out of his thoughts. He glanced at the taller man, but Kyuhyun wasn’t looking at him.

“I see.” Ryeowook whispered. He felt slightly hurt by Kyuhyun’s cold behavior. He wondered if Kyuhyun really could read people, if so, why he didn’t pity him, or feel disgusted by him. He simply shrugged it off, like it’s nothing. Like Ryeowook was nothing, no one important. Then why did Kyuhyun rescued him yesterday? Ryeowook asked, but didn’t get the answer because he was too afraid to voice it out, fearing that he will hear the painful truth.

He looked at the floor and drifted away with his thoughts, when a few minutes later, Kyuhyun shrugged him a little, bringing him back to reality.

“It’s out stop.” Kyuhyun said, looking at Ryeowook, then went to the bus door, waiting for their bus to stop. Ryeowook followed Kyuhyun. Trying to push away those thoughts.

“Let’s go.” Kyuhyun said and reached behind, to grab Ryeowook by his wrist as they exit the bus. Ryeowook’s thoughts immediately vanished into thin air, when Kyuhyun touched him. Like magic, or a bandage to his wounded thoughts. Kyuhyun was like the bandage that made Ryeowook forget about his past, present and about those stupid thoughts. They just met, yet Ryeowook relied on Kyuhyun, like an older-younger brother that he never had.

Ryeowook wondered if being by Kyuhyun’s side would make his hurt self, heal. Will he be happy again and will not think of ending his life all the time? Will he finally find the happiness that he never had, next to Kyuhyun or not? Because Kyuhyun wasn’t friendly, and didn’t look like a person who wanted to help. Yet Ryeowook wished for this. Because hope was the only solution at the time.

They walk. Pass people on the roads, cross the streets. All the time, Kyuhyun was holding Ryeowook by the wrist, never letting go, as if he knew that as soon as he let go, Ryeowook’s dark thoughts will come back.

“We are here.” Kyuhyun said, as they stopped next to the entrance door of the tall building.

Ryeowook looked at the building. The entrance wall was made of glass. Ryeowook could see some people rushing inside. He glanced at the sign on the door : ‘NK’. He turned to Kyuhyun and was about to ask him what that meant, but Kyuhyun pushed him from behind a little and they entered the building. Immediately, the bodyguards and three secretaries greeted him with respect. Kyuhyun bowed to them a little. Ryeowook did the same, but noticed the confusion written on their faces.

They took the elevator. Some people inside greeted Kyuhyun and Ryeowook, but glanced confusedly at the shorter man. When the people exited the elevator and they were finally alone, Kyuhyun turned to Ryeowook:

“Please don’t talk to anyone.”

“Why?” Ryeowook asked.

“Just don’t. They are too talkative and I don’t want them to know too much.”

“O-ok.” Ryeowook glanced at the side. He wanted to ask Kyuhyun this one question. He sighed and faced the taller man:

“What is your job exactly? We came here but I don’t know what you do for a living.”

Kyuhyun chuckled lightly.

“A yeah I forget to tell you. I’m a journalist.”

“Journalist? NK is a newspaper?”

“Yeah, you never hear of it? It’s one of the biggest in the industry.” Kyuhyun asked curiously. Ryeowook looked down and bit his lip. He felt ashamed by the fact that he, indeed, didn’t hear of it. He lived day by day, hardly had any time for sleep because his clients were ed up and paid him just at the very end, when he had done a ‘good’ job. And reading a newspaper was something surreal to him, because he needed to find more people, more clients so he could live. And Ryeowook wonder if he, someday, will be able to read one once again.

Kyuhyun looked at the shorter man and saw how troubled he was. A sudden realization hit him and he felt guilty. Ryeowook probably didn’t have time and money to read a newspaper.

“Maybe you don’t know, it’s ok, not a lot of people read newspapers these days.” Kyuhyun said trying to cheer up the latter that looked at him.

“Y-yeah. I don’t read newspaper.” Ryeowook lied and Kyuhyun pretended to buy it.

They left the elevator on the 12th floor. As soon as th