Back to December

He went inside that place that had so many memories; he took a deep breath and filled his lungs with the delicious smell of coffee that was impregnated all over the place. Suddenly the memories flowed intensely in front of his eyes.

The first time he met him in that place was a cold January day. He had just come back from his family vacations abroad and he was willing to read his book along with a coffee and the peace of that place. So, after ordering his mocha coffee he went to his favorite spot in the corner, where a fluffy and comfortable sofa waited for him to whirl and travel to his fantasy world. Just when he was going to continue with chapter 20 someone blocked the light with which he was reading.

“Can I have a sit?” The voice that came from the person in front of Pilkyo struck him like a sweet and harmonious melody, but also powerful.

Pilkyo looked up at the guy who was interrupting his peace and what he saw left him speechless. The guy, who was looking at him from above, was pretty tall, with auburn hair, high cheekbones and a bright smile graced his features. So handsome! It was the only thing Pilkyo’s mind could formulate.

“E-excuse me?” Pilkyo managed to say after a few minutes of idiocy.

The guy grinned widely, and his smile seemed kind of childish. “I asked if I can sit next to you…” Pilkyo figured he would look a bit stupid so he blinked a couple of times and nodded with his head, afraid of his own voice. The other guy sat against the armchair and glanced at the book Pilkyo had in his hands. “Angels and Demons, huh? Are you enjoying it?” The pretty boy stared back somewhat reluctanly. “I’m sorry. My name is Mun Jonghyuk, but everyone calls me Eric.”

“J-Jung Pilkyo,” answered the other man. Eric could appreciate how cute and handsome Pilkyo was. He had this aura of royalty around him, with a black hair that stuck to his round face, and those brown eyes which looked at him with such intensity, and his gorgeous pouty lips. Yes, he was beautiful.

After their first meeting, the company of Eric in his life was a constant. After their awkward encounter, they went through different things; despite the strange atmosphere that popped between them, both put on their part to lighten the mood.

“Pilkyo…” The voice’s tone he heard made his heart skipped a beat. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but he was pretty sure it was enough to Eric be on time.

“You came…” Pilkyo said with relief. One part of him told him that maybe Eric wouldn’t come. “I’m so glad you made time to see me…”

“Mh…” Eric shrugged and sat across from him, a little distant.

They ordered their drinks and the next hour they tried to catch up on their lives, but Eric had his guard up, Pilkyo could feel it. Just a few months earlier they had shared the most amazing year together. After the first meeting, he and Eric forged a strong friendship; a friendship which crossed the line between friends and lovers.

Both spent the summer together, they went on a trip and had fun with each other. Sometimes Eric was childish and annoyingly playful, but Pilkyo had come to love him for that; he realized, in the fall, he loved Eric. It didn’t matter that both were men; they loved each other.

“Pilkyo, why did you call me?” Eric hardened his eyes.

“I…” Pilkyo hesitated a moment, but then he took a deep breath and got ready to face anything. “I’m sorry for that night, Eric.”

Eric looked at him straight to his eyes, a little bit bewildered and surprised; he didn’t expect that. He had wanted to meet Pilkyo for a long time now just to tell him to go to hell and that he didn’t want to see him anymore. But the Jung Pilkyo he had in front of his eyes was a nervous wreck and regret filled is eyes.

“I go back to December all the time…” Pilkyo continued. “It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you… Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine,” Pilkyo clasped his hands trying to ease his anxiety. “These days I haven't been sleeping; staying up, playing back myself leaving…”

That December night, Eric took him to a nice restaurant just to ask him to formalize their relationship; he even wanted to live together. He had promised so much nice and romantic things, but Pilkyo felt so scared that time, he didn’t know if they would last and that made him apprehensive. That night, supposedly to be the best for both, Pilkyo turned it out in a painful memory. But after three months, he realized Eric was everything for him.

“If only I could, I'd go back in time and make it all right…” Pilkyo made the mistake to look at his face; Eric’s eyes were dark and looked so hurt. “I miss you, Eric.”

He missed the person he was when he was with Eric. Maybe it was wishful thinking; probably mindless dreaming. But if they loved again, Pilkyo would swear he would love Eric right; without fears. Pilkyo wanted to go back in time and change everything, but he knew he couldn't so if the chains were on Eric’s heart he would understand. The man didn’t have to forgive him nor should he accept Pilkyo back in his life.

“I’m sorry…” Eric started, and through the table he looked at Pilkyo with something similar to bewilderment.

Ah, it’s over, Pilkyo thought when he saw Eric’s dark orbs looking indifferently at him. The younger man did a crooked smile, holding the burning pain in his throat. “No. The one who’s sorry is me. Excuse me.”

Before Eric could react or argue, Pilkyo hurried out of the place. He walked various minutes, getting away from the coffee and the noise of the people; he walked all that his legs and his pain allowed him to. He slumped under a tree in the park where he was; he wanted to get under the earth if he could. Pilkyo let his head rest on the trunk, trying to get rid of any thoughts; he needed to stop thinking badly.

“Excuse me…” Pilkyo got scared when he Heard Eric’s voice; the younger man stood up suddenly.

“W-what?”

“You forgot this…” Eric handed the book Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. Pilkyo wanted to cry. That was the book he was reading when they met. “My name is Mun Jonghyuk, but everyone calls me Eric… And yours?”

Only then Pilkyo could breathe easily; the tears that he fought so eagerly fall down over his cheeks, soaking his face. Eric was giving him another chance and this time he will make it right. Pilkyo forgot about the book and jumped over the man in front of him, just to kiss him fully on the lips. They kissed passionately, trying to convey every little feeling they had been holding up.

I love you, Eric, so much, Pilkyo thought between their kiss. How could he not see it before? He could have saved them so much pain.

Their lips danced to each other. Eric held him from the waist and Pilkyo surrounded him by the neck, pulling him closer. Their breaths mixed and when their tongues touched each other it was enough to send them to cloud nine again. Eric and Pilkyo could feel the salty flavor coming from Pilkyo’s tears in their mouths.

“Jung Pilkyo,” the younger man answered when they stopped for some air. “My name is Jung Pilkyo… I’m enchanted to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine, Jung Pilkyo.”

Eric smiled. With that childish and beautiful smile Pilkyo loved the most.