As he walked home, Kyuhyun held the unconscious man in his arms tighter. Hyukjae had passed out shortly after breaking their make-out session in the park. Kyuhyun carried Hyukjae to his apartment and laid Hyukjae gently on his couch. He sank to the floor at the front of the couch and ran a hand through his hair.

 

Kyuhyun didn’t know what to feel. His heart was just beginning to calm down from earlier. Curling into a smile, his lips still tingled with the sensation of Hyukjae kissing him so feverishly. Hyukjae’s strawberry-sweet taste was still on Kyuhyun’s tongue. But Kyuhyun couldn’t keep himself from worrying about the sudden newcomer, Lee Donghae. Kyuhyun did not know of Hyukjae’s past with Donghae but he was suspicious that they had been in a serious relationship before.

 

Hyukjae had told him that he wanted to forget. Kyuhyun hoped that it meant he had a shot with Hyukjae after all. Glancing at the sleeping figure on his couch, Kyuhyun selfishly wished to have the redhead all to himself. He would do anything to make Hyukjae smile.

 

“Kyu?”

 

The brown-haired boy lifted his head to see a drowsy Hyukjae rubbing his eyes like a child. Hyukjae rolled onto his side so he could look at Kyuhyun.

 

Something seemed to click in Hyukjae’s brain at that moment. He remembered yelling at Donghae and crying in the park, eventually leading up to him practically demanding that Kyuhyun kiss him. Hyukjae never meant to do such a thing. Never once had he thought about using Kyuhyun because of Donghae’s reappearance. He liked Kyuhyun. The younger male had taken care of him, made him laugh, and even though he sometimes, Kyuhyun had promised to protect Hyukjae. The redhead’s eyes widened.

 

Hyukjae jolted up and began to ramble endlessly. 

 

“Kyuhyun ah, I’m so sorry!” Hyukjae covered his face in embarrassment. His cheeks turned pink. “I-I don’t know what came over me. I was not in my right mind. You-I… You must hate me.”

 

“No, hyung, I-“ Kyuhyun tried to cut in. He reached out to touch Hyukjae’s knee, but the older flinched away and interrupted him, flailing his arms.

 

“And to think I asked you to kiss me! I-I don’t know what I was thinking! Kyu, I really like you and that was the wrong way and time to tell you. I made a mistake… Besides…y-you don’t think of me that way. I acted so stu—“

 

Kyuhyun grabbed Hyukjae’s wrist and hugged him to his chest. “Stop talking.”

 

“I wasn’t using you,” Hyukjae whispered quickly.

 

“It’s okay, Hyukjae. I understand.” Kyuhyun nuzzled his face in Hyukjae’s hair. “I know you weren’t using me. And even if you were, I’d let you. Of course I wouldn’t like it, but you mean too much to me.”

 

Hyukjae leaned away from Kyuhyun so he could look him in the eyes. “What are you…?”

 

“I tried to hide how I really felt about you ever since the day you clumsily spilled coffee on me and bought me ice cream to make up for it. You were so innocent and cute that I couldn’t help myself anymore. I fell in love with you Hyukjae, and I want to be the only person to take care of you from now on.” He saw that Hyukjae was about to say something and reading Hyukjae like a book, Kyuhyun added, “I really mean it.”

 

Hyukjae smiled widely, his entire being relieved. “Thanks,” he mumbled into Kyuhyun’s shirt, trying to hide his blush. “I think I love you, Kyu.”

 

Donghae never crossed Hyukjae’s mind.

 

Shortly after, Hyukjae stood outside the door of Heechul and Hankyung’s apartment. He had been asked by Kyuhyun to stay at his apartment because it was late, but Hyukjae figured Heechul would be worried about him…and probably scream at him for not calling and coming back so late.

 

As he unlocked the door, Hyukjae nodded to himself. Kyuhyun really was the one for him. The game-addicted brat really made him feel wanted and happy. Sighing, Hyukjae quietly pushed the front door open. He didn’t want to wake the Cinderella from his beauty sleep.

 

But before the door could open more than halfway, something blocked it from the other side. Hyukjae frowned and squeezed himself between the door and the wall. Stumbling through the space, Hyukjae turned to see what had been in the way.

 

His eyes widened slightly in shock and glinted with confusion. For a second, Hyukjae forgot to breathe and his heart fluttered involuntarily in his chest, the action almost painful.

 

It was Donghae.

 

He had sat by the door for God-only-knows how long. The brunette had fallen asleep while waiting for Hyukjae to return.

 

Hyukjae froze when Donghae shifted on the floor. His head fell to his shoulder, making his bangs fall over his forehead. The peaceful scene was only shattered when Donghae let out a small moan, a word spoken so sadly that it gripped the heart that had begun to replace him.

 

“Hyukkie…”

 

The redhead sank to his knees next to Donghae’s sleeping form. He began to shake, surprise and hints of happiness bubbling in his stomach.

 

“Stop this,” Hyukjae said in a weak voice. “I don’t want to play these games anymore, Hae. Stop doing this to me.” He clutched the front of his sweatshirt in an attempt to quiet the loud beating of his heart. “I can’t feel this way for you ever again. I’m sorry, Donghae.”

 

Hyukjae stood up and walked towards his room. But before he turned the doorknob, he went over to the couch and took the woolen blanket hanging on the back of it. He draped it over Donghae and closed his eyes before retreating hastily to his room and locking the door.

 

He too, dropped down to the floor and slept by the door that night.

 

*~*~*

 

“Lee Hyukjae! Unlock this damn door or I’ll have Hankyung ing break it down!”

 

Heechul’s piercing voice immediately woke Hyukjae. He ached from sleeping on the cold wooden floor, but jumped up and opened the door. He winced when he saw a seriously pissed off Heechul, still looking as handsome as ever despite it being early in the morning.

 

“M-Morning, hyung,” Hyukjae mumbled innocently.

 

“’Morning’ my ,” Heechul snapped back. “When did you get home and why did you not call us?”

 

“I got home a little after midnight. I’m sorry I forgot to call. I-I was with Kyuhyun.”

 

Heechul raised his eyebrows at the last sentence, of course taking it in the erted sense. He took the chance to tease Hyukjae. “With Kyuhyun? How was it, monkey boy? You two weren’t too loud, were you? Don’t be shy and tell me all the details.”

 

Hyukjae’s face turned bright red. “Hyung! I didn’t mean it like that!”

 

“Chullie, leave the poor boy alone,” Hankyung said, stepping into the room from the kitchen.

 

Heechul laughed evilly and dragged Hankyung back into the kitchen by the arm.

 

Hyukjae sighed and face palmed. He grabbed some clean clothes and ran into the bathroom without knocking first. He seemed to have forgotten that someone else was also in the apartment now.

 

Leaning against the closed door, Hyukjae opened his eyes and gasped. Donghae, dripping wet, had just a towel around his waist and was drying his hair with another. Donghae noticed him, and smiled. He winked. He ing winked.

 

Hyukjae opened his mouth in a silent scream and slammed the bathroom door shut. Collapsing on the floor, Hyukjae tried to keep from blushing, but the image of a pretty much Donghae refused to leave his mind. Anyone would turn red at that sight. (^^)

 

“What happened?” Hankyung asked, running out of the kitchen in concern. “Hyukjae! Are you alright?”

 

“He’s fine, hyung,” Donghae said calmly as he walked out the bathroom in a pair of sweatpants, still not wearing a shirt. He teasingly joked, “Apparently Hyukkie wanted to see his fishy all wet.”

 

Hyukjae yelled in frustration.

 

“Will you all shut up?” Heechul screeched from the kitchen.

 

In the midst of all the morning drama, Hyukjae’s cell phone rang. He answered and his face lit up instantly. 

 

“Ah! Kyu!”

 

Donghae angrily lunged for the cell phone and began to speak to Kyuhyun, ignoring a protesting Hyukjae demanding to get his phone back.

 

“Didn’t I tell you to leave Hyukkie alone?” Donghae asked darkly.

 

“And didn’t he make it clear that he doesn’t want to listen to you? Or is your brain too small to comprehend such a reaction?” Kyuhyun replied smugly. “Besides, you have no right to tell me to leave my own boyfriend alone?”

 

“B-Boyfriend?” Donghae bit out, unable to believe what he just heard.

 

“Yes,” Kyuhyun answered, his tone very serious. “Hyukjae has been my boyfriend ever since last night.”

“You’ve go to be kidding me,” Donghae said under his breath.

 

“I’m not kidding you, Donghae hyung,” Kyuhyun added politely. “Hyukjae and I are dating. I don’t know what it is you’ve been planning concerning Hyukjae, but I suggest you stop because it’s hopeless.” 

 

Donghae cringed at the thought of giving Hyukjae up. Never. He never gave him up, so why should he start now.

 

Donghae disconnected the phone call and turned to face Hyukjae. The redhead had never seen Donghae look so upset before, so desperate.

 

“You’re dating him?” whimpered Donghae pitifully.

 

“Yeah. Kyuhyun and I are dating,” Hyukjae said, trying to keep his voice level and his eyes from drowning in those two pools of melted chocolate that were Donghae’s kicked-puppy eyes.

 

“Let me explain everything. Please, Hyukkie?” begged Donghae. “I just need to tell you my reason for leaving you. Maybe you can reconsider this. I still love you.”

 

“Do you?” Hyukjae asked condescendingly. “If I remember correctly, you told me that you didn’t love me and that you never wanted to see my stupid face again.”

 

 “That was a lie!”

 

“Am I really supposed to believe that?”

 

“Hyukkie, I mean it when I say I love you!”

 

“All right, stop.” Heechul stepped in the middle of the room and glared at Donghae.

 

Donghae had had enough. His vision began to get blurry and it was hard to breathe properly. He turned around and slammed the door to Heechul and Hankyung’s room, looking for a place to hide. He really was out of time now. Hyukjae was already dating someone else now. He wanted to fight. But what was the point.

 

Even if I tell him the reason, he wouldn’t believe me. Silent tears trickled from the corners of Donghae’s tightly shut eyes. He dug his fingers into his damp hair and muffled a scream into the pink sheets of the bed. Lee Donghae, you really ran out of time. He doesn’t love you anymore. You lost.

 

Hyukjae returned to the bathroom and took a quick shower and then changed into the clothes he had forgotten on the bathroom floor. Donghae’s saddened expression seemed glued into his brain. Those eyes were so pleading. Usually, Donghae would demand what he wanted childishly, and he would never act so vulnerable. So why was he showing such a side to Hyukjae now?

 

Does he really mean it when he says that he still loves me? Hyukjae shook the thought from his mind.

 

The perplexed redhead entered the living room again. Donghae still hadn’t come out of Heechul’s room, but Hankyung was leaning against the door to the main bedroom, waiting for Hyukjae to come back.

 

“Why did he have to come back, hyung?” Hyukjae blurted out. He pressed his back against the wall across from Hankyung for support. The tightness in his chest was making him dizzy. “I waited for two years and he never came when I needed him most. As soon as I find someone else who loves me and I can trust with my heart, he decides to show up. So selfish.”

 

“Hyuk, why can’t you just let him explain himself?”

 

“Because… once I do, he’ll want to get back together again.” Hyukjae thought about Kyuhyun. “That’s impossible now. I don’t love him anymore.”

 

“Are you sure, Hyukjae?”

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Hyukjae,” Hankyung said warningly.

 

Hyukjae sighed, defeated. “N-No…okay? I don’t know how I feel about him right now.” Hyukjae replied honestly.

 

But deep, deep down, Hyukjae knew that his feelings for Donghae weren’t entirely gone. The hurt and pain that came along with them was the thing that was disappearing, not the love itself. It was still there, just flickering dangerously close to extinguishing. The moment Hyukjae had heard his voice yesterday, he felt the hidden—but burning—desire to see Donghae again blaze a little stronger. The tingly feeling he felt when Donghae touched him, the way his heart stopped when he saw how Donghae had waited for him all night, and hell, even seeing the brunette soaking wet brought Hyukjae closer to the brink of insanity and confusion.

 

Hankyung left Hyukjae to think the situation over. He went inside his room where Donghae was curled up in the corner near the bed. Heechul, who was also in the room, rolled his eyes and gestured for Hankyung to take care of Donghae. He wasn’t good at these kind of comforting things.

 

“You might still have a chance, Donghae, a slim chance, but one nonetheless. Be sure to use it.” Hankyung knelt down next to Donghae and patted his head affectionately. The brunette lifted his head so he could look at his hyung. He nodded, a small gesture that seemed so innocent with his eyes all shiny from crying.

 

“Kyuhyun helped him while you were away, so Hyukjae has a soft spot for him,” Hankyung continued. “He still loves you, but now it’s gotten much more complicated. Think you can handle the outcome, no matter what it may be?”

 

“He still loves me?” Donghae asked in a broken voice. He began to regain some of his confidence.

 

*~*~*

 

It’s been a month since Donghae found out that Hyukjae and Kyuhyun were dating. With each passing day, Donghae loathed that fact more and more. He witnessed everything from their kisses, their hugs, and he even had to watch Hyukjae move into Kyuhyun’s apartment.

 

Although Hankyung and Heechul liked Kyuhyun because he had been the one to help Hyukjae open up again, when Donghae asked Hankyung to help him with something, he agreed. Both Heechul and Hankyung knew that Donghae was not going to give up Hyukjae. 

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Hyukjae asked, trying hard to hold Donghae’s gaze. He couldn’t believe that Donghae was standing in front of him, wearing the café’s uniform. They were the only two in there.

 

“I work here now,” Donghae grinned triumphantly. “Hankyung hyung helped set me up with a job. It wasn’t hard because Teukie hyung really needed more employees.”

 

“I’m quitting,” Hyukjae muttered before beginning to wipe down a nearby table.

 

“Aw~ Don’t be like that, Hyukkie.” The brunette slung an arm across Hyukjae’s shoulders. “I’m just trying to earn my own money, and if I get to see you everyday, well that’s just a bonus.”

 

Hyukjae blushed against his will. Donghae was just too tempting for his own good. But he shrugged Donghae’s arm off his shoulders. 

 

“Come on, Hyukkie. You have to give me a chance.”

 

“Why should I?” Hyukjae snapped.

 

“Hyukjae, all I’m asking is to explain my reason for leaving you. You can still hate me after of you want, although I’d prefer if you didn’t.”

 

I don’t hate you.

 

“If that guy really makes you happy,” Donghae whispered, hurting himself with his own words, “I won’t bother you anymore. I can go away, but all I’m asking for is a chance to explain.”

 

Hyukjae bit his lip and nodded, finally giving in. He lowered his eyes, too afraid to look directly at Donghae. He was afraid that if he did, he would break the promise he had made to himself, the one to forget that he ever loved Donghae.

 

“Thank you! Thank you!” Donghae cheered and hugged Hyukjae tightly. “Meet in the park after work! Hyukkie, thank you!”

 

*~*~*

 

“What am I doing here?” Hyukjae questioned himself. He stared across the park, wondering what was going to happen. His phone buzzed in his pocket. Taking it out, the answered the call. “Oh, Kyuhyun ah!”

 

“Hey, Hyuk. Something urgent came up and I have to go to Japan for a while. It has to do with my singing career. I’m sorry this happened. Maybe you should stay with Heechul hyung until I get back.”

 

Was this a blessing in disguise?

 

“Don’t worry about it Kyu,” Hyukjae replied, a bitter smile gracing his lips. “I know how important your singing is. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

 

“I love you.”

 

Hyukjae felt weird. There was no reaction from those words. His heart didn’t start to beat fast, and his stomach wasn’t doing flips, not like they used to. That is, not until he saw Donghae running up to him, waving like an excited child. Only then did he blush.

 

I’m sorry, Kyuhyun.

 

“Ah! Yeah… Good luck, Kyu.” He hung up.

 

“Hyukkie! You actually came!”

 

“Why wouldn’t I?” Hyukjae muttered, trying to turn cold again. But the heat building up inside him was melting that exterior away.

 

“I just…Never mind.”

 

Donghae grabbed Hyukjae’s hand and led him over to the bench. Sitting down, he pulled Hyukjae next to him and stared directly into his eyes.

 

“Please, just listen to me, Hyukkie.” When the redhead nodded, gazing at his fingers intertwined with Donghae’s, the nervous brunette took a deep breath and began to tell his story.

 

“Hyukkie, two years ago, I…I made a huge mistake. I hurt you for a stupid, cowardly reason, and you suffered for so long without a clear answer, without the truth. I never meant for it to happen the way it did.” Donghae looked down. “It all started a few months before I broke up with you. My parents suddenly told me to give you up and I wouldn’t hear any of it. I love you too much. But then they arranged for me to get married, Hyukjae. They wanted me to go to America and marry some girl named Jessica. I didn’t want to of course, but that day they had already packed up my things from our apartment and told me to break up with you.

 

“I refused and called you to tell you that I wanted to run away with you, away from Seoul and to anywhere we could be alone until they gave up. I never thought that they would have sent somebody to follow me. Without you noticing, I saw the guy and he pointed at you. He had a weapon, Hyukkie. He would have hurt you if I didn’t suddenly break up with you. That’s why I did it. It was cowardly. I should have taken you to somewhere safe and protected you, but I chose to hurt you and acted without thinking first.”

 

Donghae stopped so he could catch his breath and Hyukjae could take in what he had just been told. After a moment, Hyukjae’s grip on his hand tightened and teardrops fell onto their linked fingers. “B-But why didn’t you tell me later?”

 

“I had already gone too far to go back at the time. I ended up being dragged to America where I almost married Jessica. I was so depressed that I had no control over my emotions and came close to saying those vows. But I ditched the wedding, Hyukkie. I wouldn’t go through with it. I disowned myself from my parents and came here. I’m sorry it took so long. I’m sorry I yelled at you and told you I didn’t love you. I really love you, Lee Hyukjae.”

 

The brunette reached into his pocket and took something out of it. He opened his hand and on his palm was the ring. He watched as Hyukjae’s eyes widened in shock.

 

“H-How did you find it? I though I threw it in the pond.” Hyukjae blinked in awe at the small, silver ring.

 

“Yeah, you did, and you almost killed yourself over it.” Donghae’s voice was pained as he remembered seeing his Hyukjae drowning in the pond.

 

“You were there?”

 

“I followed you that morning before I went to the airport. When I arrived, you were already in the water. I was scared, Hyukkie. I thought you were going to die on me.”

 

“You saved me,” Hyukjae whispered. “You were the one you saved me.”

 

“What else was I supposed to do? Let you drown? Of course I saved you!”

 

They both were silent for a while. It felt like forever. But Hyukjae asked another question, taking the ring and caressing it in his palm.

 

“How did you find it?”

 

Donghae chuckled. “A lot of searching. I’m not called Fishy for nothing.”

 

“When?”

 

“The day before I came back.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because it was the important to me. It was like I suddenly had to find it.” Donghae lifted Hyukjae’s chin with his fingers and gazed into the older’s doe eyes. “It’s a sign of how much I love you. Even if you really don’t love me anymore, I’m glad you let me tell you what happened. I always loved you and I still do. Can you forgive me?”

 

11/15/10