SECRETS 1.0

He sat in silence, watching her. 

He watched her like a hawk, his eyes only focused on her, only her.

He stared at her, memorizing each and every feature of her face - her big doe eyes, her small lips, her long lashes, her pinkish cheeks and her long black hair.

He saw her  took a deep breath and bit her left lower lip. It was one of mannerism, one that shows she was getting anxious.

He knew every single thing about her. He knew what makes her smile. He knew what scares her. He knew what ticked her off. He knew what she hated and he know what she loved. If there was a Suzy test, he would surely ace it.

He sat watching her, looking like a cool guy. But he wasn't cool headed at the moment. his heart was raging and his mind was going beserk.

He didn't know that there could be such an intense feeling that could come from him. and it was all because he knew what was going inside her mind. She was definitely anxious, and it is all because of his older twin brother.

And it hurts knowing that though he had loved her since they were children, she in turn loved his twin. Though he will love her all his life, she had all her love focused on youngsaeng. It hurt so much that she didn't love him the way he loved her.

He took a deep breath and trying to stay calm.

He felt a tap in his shoulder and looked at doojoon who asked, "Hey, are you okay..?"

He smiled and nodded in response.

Doojoon then gave him a fork for the the cake that Seungyeon's mother offered, "Here eat this... Ommuni gave you one but you still haven't touched your food.."

"It's okay. I am not hungry..." he responded in an even tone.

"Come on, eat it." DooJoon persisted, almost shoving the cake in his face.

He took the fork and took a piece of the cake to make Doojoon stop pestering him. As he took a bite, Doojoon added, "Here give this to Suzy...." shoving another slice of cake at his hand.

He nodded but didn't make any move...

"Come on.. give it to her..." Doojoon insisted again. he then stood up and went over to Suzy bringing the cake with him.

Beside Suzy, he offered the cake, "Hey Suze, your aunt said to give this to you..." he told her. 

She looked up and him, smiled, took the cake from his hands. Their finger touched and he felt electricuted. But looking at her she was untouched and just responded, "Komawo Soeb-biie...."

She smiled at him before turning her back at him to face Youngsaeng. She then offered the cake to his twin brother, "Oppa... here have some cake..."

His heart felt like it was being hammered. It hurt like hell. But he couldn't do anything. he couldn't protest or ask for a fight. He was his twin, she was his first love and they were both watching over Seungyeon who was his twin's girlfriend and Suzy's cousin. They well all Friends.

He walked back to his seat as he listened to Suzy offer the cake he gave her to his twin brother.

His heart raged, he watched as the girl he loved offer food to his twin brother, who in turn was looking intently at the girlfriend who was in a coma.

He seethed in anger, he saw the loving gaze Suzy gave youngsaeng.

He hated it.

'how could she love him..?'

'why would she love him..?'

'I had always been the best, so why would she love him over me...?'

His eyes then stared at the twin brother who sat beside Suzy. He had rejected the food suzy offered. He saw the intent look on youngsaeng's face.

'What does he have that I don't...?"

'What can he do that I can't do better...'

'Why does Suzy love him instead of me..?'

But as his anger rose at the unsuspecting brother who looked quite grim, he felt a pang of guilt.

His brother sat stoic beside Seungyeon's bed. Seungyeon, the perfect A-student in school who is the Girlfriend of his brother. The same girl who lay in a coma. The girl his brother loved. 

'Yosoeb-ie, what are you thinking...'

'This is your twin...'

"Hey Yoseob-ah, want to get some fresh air..?" asked Doojoon

He looked at DooJoon and shook her head. 

Doojoon stod up and went to Youngsaens and Suzy, "Suze, lets get some fresh air..."

"It's okay doojoon. while aunt went to get some supplies I need to stay here with Seungyeon..." Suzy shook her head and answered.

"Youngsaeng-ah..do you----....?" asked Doojoon

Before he could finished his question, Youngsaeng stood up abruptly and walked off. 

He watched at the door closed as Doojoon and Youngsaeng left.

His eyes naturally fell on Suzy again. He heard her sigh and he knew that even with suzy trying to show an okay front, she knew that the sigh mean that there was something troubling her.

He looked at the only other occupant in the room, Doojoon's Girlfriend Hyuna. She looked at him, smiled and stood up suddenly. He smiled as she asked, "Uhhmmmm, If doojoon ask please tell him I went to the bathroom okay..?"

He nooded.

As the door closed, he knew that they were alone.

He stood up and sat at the chair left by his twin.

Alone with her, he was happy.

Only the two of them and it was blissful

Though worried for one of their friends, somehow having this alone time with her was one of the happiest moments of his life.

Seconds seemed to pass and minutes seemed to fly.

He didnt care, anytime with her was a lifetime to him.

There was silence except the sounds of the monitors for seungyeon.

He say beside suzy and waited.

"Yoseob-ah, I have a question..." Suzy started and he smiled.

"hmmnnnn..." it has always been their routine to sit with her when she had a problem and he would try  to give advice and help with her problem.

"do you think I have become a cruel person..." Suzy started

he smiled, it was impossible for suzy to be cruel. anyone who knows her, knows that she is the most kind and caring person there is to know. she is onw to save kittens in trees, feed stray dogs her lunch and give her allowance to strangers in the street. suzy was anything but cruel.

"HHhmmnn, why do you ask...?" he asked

"well because...." she paused, inclined her head and continued, "ahh never mind..."

And she looked at seungyeon, her smile fading.

He bumped his shoulders to her and told her,"No, you don't have a mean and cruel bone on your body..."

She looked at him and smiled

They sat together in silence.

"I could have never imagined Seungyeon unni in this state. She had always been perfect. smart, intelligent, pretty, athletic, well liked, teachers pet, leader and everything I am not..." Suzy started to say.

She then turned to him and added, "Well she was like the girl version of you.."

He smiled at her and answered awkwardly, "yeah, I guess so..."

Then he added, "But I am not perfect you know..."

Suzy sighed and said, "nah, you and seungyeon unni are both perfect, Youngsaeng oppa said as much..."

He shook his head and the dark and primitive emotion started to shimmer in his heart again at the name of his twin whispered in Suzy's lips.

Silence followed again.

He needed to contain his raging emotion.

He took a deep breath to calm himself. 'he is your brother...'

"Soeb-ie...?" she called him, breaking the silence.

"HhhHHmmnnn...?" he responded

"why do you think she did it?" she asked

She looked at the worried look on suzy's eyes and looked at Seungyeon who just looked like she was sleeping. he answered, "I don't know.... I don't know why she would do it...?"

She clasp her hands together and added, "she had a perfect life with the best grades, loving family and the greatest boyfriend in the world..."

"I don't understand how she can just jump like that. she is hurting aunt and Youngsaeng-oppa is in agony..." he looked at him and saw some tears forming in her eyes.

"Suzy..." he called her, "its okay, she will wake up soon..."

"do you think its my fault..?" she asked. it startled him

he turned to her and he asked, "why do you ask? did something happen before that incident? did you 2 fight? why do you think its your fault?"

"Well I have always been envious at her life. but... the week before she.... well the week before, we had a fight. I confronted her because it was the time youngsaeng oppa started cutting classes, I knew she was the reason...." tears started to drip her eyes.

"hmmnn..." he encourage her to talk. "and then..."

"well I said cruel things to her. I knew I shouldn't have but youngsaeng oppa was in pain. I wanted her to fix it. I wanted her to stop hurting him... I knew that..---" she continued.

"but.. she talked back... she said it was none of my business..."

"she said that what happens between them was stricktly their business since they were boyfriend and girlfriend. she said that even if we were friends and cousins, she said I had no right to dictate to her what she should and shouln't do..."

he took his handkerchief and offered it to suzy.

"so when she became like that, I became cruel. i said that when people say she was perfect they were wrong because the truth is she is a cheater and that she is the devil. and I... I.... I just..." she broke down and cried

he hugged her then as she cried and soothed her, "its okay... suze.... its okay... its not your fault.. its not... No one wil blame you... The day before the incident she told me to take care of you..."

In between her sobbing suzy explained, "but I said... I said... I hope she just dies..."

He was shocked to hear of what suzy did but she knew it was not something to be taken to heart. Seungyeon surely didn't.

"I hated her before THAT, she had the life I wanted. her parents were perfect and mine isnt and she had youngsaeng oppa...."

"I had loved youngsaeng oppa since I can remember but he loved her. I know its petty to think that if they didnt migrated back from US that I'd have Youngsaeng oppa by my side. if she didnt appear...." she sobbed

"She was loved by youngsaeng oppa and she was hurting him..."

He hugged her tight. more for him than for her.

He hated hearing her admit her love. 

He loved her but she loved his twin. 

He knew it was getting twisted. Their simple life was getting complicated. everything seemed to fall on them.

But more than hating their cruel fate, he hated his twin more than anything else.

He had loved her all his life, but she loved another, his twin, the other part of him, and NOT him.

"and the worst part is..." she continued in between sobs

"hussshhhh...." he soothed her, "its okay.. its okay.."

"when she told me that they broke up. i was so happy. I prayed that she would just disappear then.

"then I can have Youngsaeng oppa..."

"I love youngsaeng oppa that I wished that he never see his girlfriend again... "

"then this happened... its my fault.... I think she must hate me now.."

He clinched his fist together. he was having a hard time containing his emotions. he was hurting because of her but he was also raging because of her.

"I never thought that this would happen... "

"But even so I still love youngsaeng oppa. I will always love youngsaeng oppa."

"They are broken up, suengyeon unni is the one who broke it off. I have always been the one to understand youngsaeng oppa more than anyone else. I am the one who can comfort him more than anyone else."

"Is it wrong to think this way... they have broken up..." she asked now pleading.

he could feel the desperation in her voice. she was begging for understanding. She wanted to him to understand and support her. But she can't. he will never support her in that.

He felt a million pains in his heart. he wanted to scream, he wanted to kill, he wanted to throw a fit.

The world was dropping down on them, one of their friends is in a coma but sweet and kind suzy only wanted to confess to his twin brother.

The girl of his dreams and the girl he loved. Didn't care about anything more that confessing to his twin brother...

'this was unthinkable..'

'this is cruel...'

he hated the circumtances..

he hated the situation...

'i hate this..'

'I hate....'

the door opened and in came youngsaeng. his eyes went straight to his brother...

'I hate HIM!!!'

PREVIEW

REVELATION 0.5

a/n: i know, i know. its kind of a sloppy work. but this is all i can do for now cause I have zero inspiration. anyway your insights, violent reactions, rage, complains is most welcomed. please let me know what you guys think. what are your thoughts on the progress of the story. too dark? too confusing? any suggestions..?