Part 1



“Ae Lyn-ah!”, he called to her as she hurried away. He waved a small notebook in his hands, hoping to catch her attention but she did not linger. The ends of her skirts, the only thing visible from the door. He sighed looking at the notebook she left behind. 

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After the charity ball, he found himself parked across the gates to her school. He remembered the first time he saw her in her school uniform. He was there because he wanted to pursue her but a boy was next to her so he decided to just follow them and to make his move the next time. 

The next time that never happened because he let his fears overtake what he wanted the most. 

They, Ae Lyn and the guy who he would see constantly soon, walked the steps, his arms around her. Her head was bowed low, hands clutching a book. The boy she was with waved to those who passed them by while she had her eyes downcast. He watched them as they rode the black Mercedes that would pick them up from school every day. He found himself tailing the car each day just to see her get home safely. 

There was never a day were it was just her who went home. He thought the man he was with was her boyfriend. That led him to go to the clubs after following her car home. He would always drink so much he couldn’t remember what happened. One time, his friends told him he beat up two guys who were bickering inside the bar. He remembered seeing red after looking at the guy who looked like the guy who was always with her. It was a stupid move really. Girls with boyfriends don’t catch his fancy and if somehow they get his attention and he would find out they were attached, he would be gone with not as much as a byword. 

That alone should’ve warned him about the impending heartbreak he would be feeling. That alone should have been warning enough of just how grave her presence would be in his life. But he was stupid. He did not listen to the warning signs and continued to study her, getting ready to make his move. 

Days after, he realized she lived a pattern. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, the driver would drop her off the Seoul Conservatory of Music where she would stay until nine or sometimes even longer than that. It was laughable how he would always follow her everyday but not making a move. It went on for a long agonizing month. Agonizing because try as he might he couldn’t, couldn’t approach her. 

He realized that aside from going to school and to the conservatory, she rarely went out of the house. She was always dressed so properly and spoke so softly. Whenever she would be attending parties, he made sure he would get an invitation in the hopes of getting her to notice him. He later found out that the guy with her was her step brother, Choi Minho. Adopted into the family when her parents thought they could not have children. Two years after, Ae Lyn was born. 

It was pathetic really. 


Two months after the charity ball, she attended a birthday party of one of the chaebol heirs. He remembered being introduced to her by some common friends only to have her nod her head at him and replying with a soft, “It’s nice to meet you.” Even if he talked to her the whole night, she was as aloof and as unresponsive. Oh there were parties after those alright but before he could even truly talk to her, she would whisk her skirts and walk away from him. 

Perhaps if his brother was with him, she would give him the time of day. He thought bitterly thinking about all those dry parties he attended just so he could get to know her. 
But the incident with Jonghyun happened and he knew he had to move on.





He turned the page of the diary he now held in his hands, his heart hurting. Perhaps like her, he too was drawn to her because he saw her as someone who needed protection. He wanted to shield her away from the cruelties of the world. Somehow he knew who the he she was referring too in her diary. He wished he didn't for it wouldn't have hurt as much. His heart bled for the girl who kept the memory of his older brother for five long years. 

'What is it about you Jinki hyung that made her give her heart to you when you don't even care? You don't even know that someone is pining for you. Someone who owns your brother's heart,' he thought bitterly. 

He lied back down on the bed, taking care to place the notebook on top of his side drawer. Every day with her felt like heaven to him. He loved how she bit her lips when thinking, loved how her hands smooth out the paper before she writes, and how her brows wrinkle when she's thinking. He seldom saw her outside of school, outside of the lecture hall even for she disappeared right after class, merely saying goodbye to him as she gathers her notebooks and books in her frail hands. He wanted to help her carry them. 

He wanted to be hers. 

But he couldn't for fear that she would run away from him. He knew she would push him away the moment he got even a little bit closer to her.


"How was the weekend Ae Lyn?" he asked, eager to talk to her.

"It was okay," she answered like she always does whenever he talked to her.

"Where did you spend it anyways?" He knew she was only temporarily staying in the city. 

Silence.

"Home," she said softly.

"Oh? And where's home?" he asked.

"Just there," she said and started to write on her notebook, completely withdrawing away from him.


She was always like that. Any interaction that would lead to anything remotely personal would shut her out. He was getting weary of it. His heart felt heavy and oh so tired. 

'Ae Lyn-ah, when would you give me the chance to get to know you? If I asked, would you give your heart to me like I to you?' he thought, eyes closed, a lone tear trickling down his face.

He thought he had buried her from his memories three years ago when she disappeared. He could still remember how he used to wait outside her school gates waiting for the familiar black car to glide softly outside as he follows discreetly in his own vehicle. Even if he knew he couldn’t have her, somehow, he still wanted to watch her from a distance even if it hurt him. 

He realized, he did not want to taint her innocence. He lived the street life, surrounded by people who were in the run from drug busts, illegal street racing, and so much more. She was not meant for his kind of life. 

He realized that he loved her, loved her enough to sacrifice. It was the most painful decision he had made in his life. He wished he didn’t but he knew he had no right to drag her to his life. A hollow ache would be in his heart every time he thought about her. However, he stayed steadfast to his decision. 

He let her go. 

A year and a half later she came back and the feelings he kept bottled up inside came at him with a vengeance. He did not wish to falter. He did not want to regret his decision but how is he able to keep himself from calling out to her when she was within arms reach? He knew that if he tried, really tried, it would be so easy to make her his. But his longing for her was not something that could be satisfied just as easily. He knew one night wasn’t enough.

He was afraid. 

Afraid that if fate pulled them together, he would break her.

Fate was cruel and would have none of his resistance. He was fast losing the battle. 







“...Will the witness please stand and approach the bench. Thank you.”



“...Do you swear to only say the truth and nothing but the truth?”



"...Yes your honor."



“...I saw him three times outside the mistress’ bedroom at around 2 to 3 in the morning. I was on my way to get something I left in the kitchen and just remembered. I usually am up at that time already because I start my duties at 4. I asked him if he needed something but he just smiled at me and told me to go on my way so I continued going down the stairs. I didn’t think the master would do anything. I mean they didn’t exactly appear close him being adopted and all but they were always together. But then again, the mistress was always mum when he was around.”