REMINDER: This fic is PURE humor and just popped-out from my bored mind. This is not as fun as you will expect but hope will make you smile.Don't take this too seriously. APPLERS, hope you will like it! 
HAPPY 4TH ANNIVERSARY, DGH!  


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Hello! Are you tired making fanfic but you think it is still not GOOD enough? Do you really want to make a hit and good daragon fanfic that readers will surely like and flock? Now, here are some tips. 




1.Make an eye-catching, silent-reader-waking, seeking attention title (in some cases, haters pestering title). <*DGH settings> 

[ONESHOT] The Tale of Cat and Kikoxxx 

Topic Description: Just found out the issue never dies thus the birth of feisty leg-showing XXyDARA.  





2.Don't forget to label it [MA] or Rated. Readers nowadays are erted they'll automatically click your story right away upon seeing it rated. Trust me.  


[ONESHOT][MA] The Tale of Cat and Kikoxxx 

 


3. Write a really good, PR-marketing disclaimer. Make it long and creative. Subtly ask for comments too. 


Disclaimer: hEy eorubun, i8s m3 a6ain, kiKK0man writeR, if YoU wanT t0 r3ad mY pr3vi0us w0rk, cl!ck dz 090774XXX19, follow me on twitter @welovedakixx (dara+kikoman=dakixx), follow me on instagram @meanauthdakixx, add me on facebook daraxxx_kikoxx@gd'sfinis.hcom, add me on viper @istandakixx. I d0n't 0wN the characters. They're too complicated. Their fans are pain in my tehee~  


 

4. Start the story with a kissing scene. Make the readers hype-up first.  

“H-hol...d on.” Dara moaned after Jiyong sloppily inserted his tongue inside . “No.” Jiyong firmly said as he now held Dara's head and took an angle where he can deepen the kiss. Dara with weakened knees gave up and opened to welcome Jiyong's evading tongue. in each sensation. “Ah...ah...”

Somebody sees  it as scandalous.

YG shrieked.



5.Give the readers what they want, a jealous G-dragon seeing other guys drooling over Dara.  


G-dragon was fuming and almost lost himself as he witnessed Kim Jaejoong and Donghae showering Dara, his Dara, with gifts of love. He could not react for they are in public and Dara warned him not to do stupid things in public. For goodness sake! She is his girlfriend! There is Kim Jaejoong making a move at her while assisting her walk. She is not a limp, damn it, you looking white girl! Donghae was smiling all over Dara, looking like a clown to him (he looks stupid btw especially with that Iron Man suit, duh). And there's rookie EXO Chanyeol, damn why that guy so cute to Dara that she was awkwardly liking to be near him too! Dara, you pedo!!!!


“Baby girl~~~!!!! waah~~ You are Mine!”

 

6. You shall not, and I repeat shall not, make cliffhanger chapters. Readers will go ballistic and crazy to guess what will happen next that some will acquire insomnia because of it. Your fault. 


Example Story: SAD LIFE OF AN IDOL


Sandara finally opened the lock in her room after a series of failed attempts, as she carefully tiptoed her way out. Finally... Freedom finally. She badly need to escape from this deranged room and to do so, she must not let G-dragon even stir awake from his sleep on their shared bed. She pray that all odds will be at her side tonight, as she finally can get away from the cruelty and wrath of G-dragon himself. Her exclusive producer... an obvious mentally unstable guy who always insists to bed her. She needs to get out from his slavery! He was insane! A nutcase. A psychopath. A mad man. It scares her. It always scare her. 


And tonight will be the mark of her freedom...freedom from his heavy obsession to her.


Sandara carefully let herself out of the room, and as she was stepping on the red carpet outside, a cold hand suddenly covered and pulled her hard. In horror she looked up and found....
 

(to be continue)




 

Readers will probably go:






'What the hell?'  



'What the fcuk?'  



'NOOOO! This author took ages to update!!'  



'UPDATE AGAIN JUSEYOOOOO!!'  




 

7. Make a scene where the third party gets to see daragon kissing happily, making her so jelly. 


Sandara looped her arms around G-dragon's neck as she kissed him endlessly. Her eyes wide open as she stared at the frozen Kiko on one corner. She smirked on GD's lips as she sent Kiko a message: 'In your face, biatch.'

 

8. Make the third party (e.g. Kiko, Sohee, Yoona, Sulli, CL etc.) the 'Mary Sue' of the story. Mary Sue is a character who always have an affair with the male lead, turns out to be a hero, ends up dying. In short, kill her in the story.  


Kiko turns not to be bad afterall. She held Dara's hand as she looked at her apologetically. Dara made a small smile as she stared at the pale sickened look of Kiko. She has cancer, and requested to see Dara before she die. Dara let a tear fall as she hushed her to sleep. 


“I'm sorry.” Kiko sincerely said.


“Shh.” Dara said. “It's okay. You have been a but I still forgive you. Thanks for being a good friend to Jiyong. You may now rest in peace.”


Kiko smiled, nodded, then fell asleep after a soft, “Thank you.”


Sandara sobbed softly, covering with her hand to prevent her sob. She knew those were Kiko last words. They might not like each other but at least it ended in a good way where misunderstandings were settled and corrected. Fans rejoiced. Daragon is still real.




9.Have a daragon happy endings. Who does not love happy endings, anyways? 


A dashing Kwon Jiyong is standing up in front of his beautiful bride, Sandara Park, in front of all the people whom he or she loves to witness their hearts be one in front of God. As husband and wife.


“I love you.” he whispered sincerely to Dara as he pulled up her veil to kiss her when the priest already says they are legally partners now. For better or worse. Even death do they part.


“I love you, too, G-dragon.” Sandara responded as she closes her eyes and met her husband's warm lips.


That very moment, she knew they already have the 'daragon happily ever after...' 

 

ADELE (not the singer.duh) finally made a real fanaccount in twitter 'bout this.

10. Write another really good, PR-marketing disclaimer. 


Disclaimer: Thank you for reading the best and most popular daragon fic you have read in your entire life. Go spread this in twitter, tumblr, viper, anything that ends with -er (obviously Instagram is out, it's only for photo sharing, duh). Haters again? Move out. Haters to the left.





Love, 

The Tale of Cat and Kikoxxx writer. =)

Real Author SIV note: HAPPY 4TH ANNIVERSARY TO DGH!  HO, HAIL DGH! Thank you for reading, guys! I always have this personal promise in myself to make a new daragon oneshot fic every DGH Anniversary to show my support to our couple and to the people behind this site  I know it is kind of lame unlike the first one I make so pardon me for this. SO THIS IS JUST PURE HUMOR FIC.kk. don't bash me kyaa~ hope I somehow made you laugh *hides*