a/n: i'm sorry i lost my fic .. ahhh i know that is my responsibility  but i really don't know what happened.. ahhhh sorry for late update.. but one thing is for sure.. this has a sequel... 

pls. enjoy tho this one is angst heehehhe

 

 

 

 

 

The loud cheers of the people, the echoes resounding dramatically against the outline of the dome, his feet bringing him to a place he always dreams of, not even minding the loud pounding of his chest and the constant swirling of his vision both on nervousness and excitement, Lee Sungmin strode to the place he feels where he belongs.

“Lee Sungmin,”

Voices of thousands of his fangirls were enough to make his heart to go summersault.

But the lone presence of Cho Kyuhyun made his heart to miss a beat making him feel like he is hanging his life over that man sitting somewhere that his eyes can’t reach.

But he knows he is watching.

And with that he basked under the scrutinizing yet warm limelight of being a celebrity.

---

It started back to the days where his innocence brings nothing but mere curiosity.

Back to the days where he is still in high school, longing for love, seeking for some puppy love; when his eyes are only for the jumbled letters and numbers intended for lovely lessons; back to the days when his mind aches for severe math problems.

Back to those days when he still doesn’t know that a man heart can fall in love with another man heart…

It was then when he realized that he is indeed falling not to woman, not to a just simple man...

But to goddamn Cho Kyuhyun, a man of his dreams.

It was when Sungmin realized he is not that innocent anymore.

---

Kyuhyun giggled at the mere fact that Sungmin is pouting not because the other was upset but because of the certain pink ball of cotton morphed into a bunny.

“yah don’t pout..”

“I hate you” Sungmin said while pouting making kyuhyun to build his urges under those plastered smirk across his face.

And those urges were nothing but to hold Sungmin’s face against his cold palms and make the other man feel warm under his touch. If he could possibly go further, he would want to kiss the man’s pout and replace it with a blissful smile.

A kiss.

Just one and Sungmin and kyuhyun found each other smiling like those sweet couples along the vicinity of Milan, too bad they just shared their first kiss under that cherry tree.

“I love you too,” kyuhyun said against Sungmin’s lips after he decided that taking that first kiss was best under the old cherry tree, with his hand around Sungmin’s nape and his free hand securing the other man around his waist.

They are just simple teenagers falling in love.

If those intertwined hands are not enough, then maybe the satisfied smile grazing over their lips after the kiss could count them as lovers.

“kyuhyunnie, look at how our hands perfectly fit with each other.”

The smaller man scraped his feet as he walked; dragging the small leaves that fell from the tree then kicking it along the way. Then kyuhyun bent his head low but enough to make his fringe to touch the apple of his cheeks.

Sungmin reached up his hand to tuck them right above Kyuhyun’s eyebrows making the fringe to be styled sideways.

“your hair is growing fast.”

But kyuhyun only looked lovingly to Sungmin as he tightened his hold around the other’s small hand.

“it is not important whether our hands fit perfectly well, what important is how your hand had made me blush at mere contact.”

Kyuhyun stopped walking while abruptly facing Sungmin making the other to also halt his pace.

He scratched the back of his neck.

“sorry for being romantic but I think my hand misses your hand every time we part ways.”

Sungmin smiled and unconsciously shifting closer to kyuhyun that their upper torsos are holding such close proximity, “my eyes misses your face too whenever you are sending me home.”

Kyuhyun giggled. Too much for them being sugary sweet.

However, he can’t help his self to mutter those words under his breath.

That’s why don’t let me go.

Faking a smile, he led Sungmin to an ice cream store.

 

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

 

---

Two bodies as one.

That night full of passion and lust.

Full of uncertainties but only through “I love you” and countless “I need you” is where they found solace and assurance.

Kyuhyun kissed Sungmin slowly as their bodies rubbing against each other creating a small fire, producing a thin sheet of sweat gradually making the fire turn into something uncontrollable, something bigger and blissful.

Lust but mixed with equal undying love and tortured pace of hope that after this nothing would change.

They are engaging in act only married couple would do, only those who are in their right age.

Only man and woman do.

But kyuhyun can’t stop inching towards Sungmin. He can’t stop the burning desire in him to consume Sungmin, marking the smaller man as his when in fact he is not sure whether he is for Sungmin in the first place.

“more,” Sungmin breathed out.

Kyuhyun then captured those swollen lips like a wolf hungry for food. He maneuvered the smaller man to make his body fall on top completely squeezing whatever space they had between them. Kyuhyun Sungmin’s lips, roamed his tongue along the pallet then whatever Sungmin’s cavern could offers.

The heat is so strong that kyuhyun found his self humping above Sungmin, the other under his touches and kisses. He entered Sungmin without great ease, with painful movements and a moment of slow passion, together they trek the journey to heaven.

With kyuhyun literally ing in and out, stopping to a hilt but only to withdraw and pistol on Sungmin’s gracious spot…there is nothing that Sungmin wish for more.

Only kyuhyun.

And there’s nothing more.

“kyuhyun.”  The said man intertwined his fingers with Sungmin, filling the gaps in between as they bask in togetherness, deep inside the warmth their bodies gives off and when the unfamiliar yet sweet sensation captured them, kyuhyun didn’t have second thoughts in kissing Sungmin.

It is so sweet and fervent that they both moaned into the kiss with kyuhyun speeding up his pace and Sungmin meeting them.

“Sungmin,” he angled his self a little as he pulled Sungmin to sit atop from his practically riding him in the process.

Sugmin, with his loosened hold around kyuhyun’s neck, jumped and bounced up down above kyuhyun.

“come with me.”

“you too kyuhyun, inside me.”

With the shadows and light coming from the moon, Kyuhyun and Sungmin marked each other …

Soft I love you embedded in their hearts as both of them inhales each other’s scent of …

 

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We will make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

 

---

 

Sungmin was left with a crashed picture frame and scattered bottles of soju.

He didn’t ever think that after those lovely years, five ing years to be exact, Kyuhyun would discover that he loves his craft more than what his heart had been beating for so long.

With kyuhyun absentmindedly telling him that he really loves acting than spending time with him…

That the dates they arranged, those times they held hands, those moments they shared kisses…

That night they made love, that very day they showered sweetness with each other…

Those s and s and s…

And even those sweet and innocent nights…

For now, were nothing but a piece of memory.

A distant past he didn’t want to forget, a present he wished is not happening and a future without him.

Sungmin wished he’s dreaming… when he heard kyuhyun said “I hate you” to him.

 

 

“ sorry I am not gay… I am just…confused...”

 

Sungmin just drunk his thoughts with a gulp of soju, hoping alcohol would erase those ugly memories and for tomorrows, with a pounding headache, he’ll be facing a new life.

A life without kyuhyun.

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I am not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any w