My name is Lee Jongsuk and I'm currently 17 years old student studying in Victory High School. My life is and sometimes I wish that I never have born into this world. As a man, I am weak and useless. The other students in my school keep on bullying me because anything they did to me, I never fight back.why? because I don't have any self-confidence at all. I rather stay aside and watch instead of getting involve in any kind of situation. I also like to be alone. When I'm alone, I can find peace and I also feel safe. I would like to change myself for the better but I don't have any courage to do so. At last, I'm still the useless and pathetic person that I hate to be.

"jongsuk-ah, come and have some breakfast" My mom shout from the kitchen. I said okay in reply. As soon as I dress up, I went out of my room and straight to the dining table. I greet my parents good morning and they greet me back. I can see that my younger sister is already there sitting.

"jongsuk-ah... why don't you accompany soo jung since today is her first day in high school?"

My mom ask me all of sudden. I didn't get to reply yet but soo jung already cutting in.

"what? I don't want him to accompany me. People will be staring at us. I can go by myself."

"soo jung-ah, his your brother. why would people be staring at you?" my father interrupt.

"can't you see him? he look like a mess. people will think I'm with some beggar or something. Can't you at least cut your long and curly hair that cover your face? sometimes you even look like a ghost to me!" soo jung said it right to my face.

It kinda hurt me a little.... no... not a little but a lot! your own sister is ashamed of you, what could be worst?

"you shouldn't say that about your brother! no matter what he looks like, he still your brother!" my mom stand up for me but still, it doesn't cure me a bit.

"why can't I? you also knew that he's the worst in his school. I don't wanna be with someone like him. Don't ever claimed me as our sister, you got that?" soo jung said it as she take her backpack and walk out of the house.

"lee soo jung!!!" my mom shout at her but she doesn't seem to hear. I can hear my father sighs beside me. I'm a symbol of humiliation to my family, aren't I? It's depressing.

"although I don't wanna agree with soo jung but, jongsuk-ah... why don't you cut your hair? it does look messy to me. It cover up your entire face!why don't you cut it as soon as the school's end?"

my mom advice me. It's not that I don't wanna cut it. It just that people will be looking at me and that makes me nervous. If my hair cover my face, I wouldn't be so scared to look at people. I hate making an eye contact with anyone. It makes me shivering.

"I'll get going..." I said to my parents before I left the house.

I took my bicycle and cycle it through my school. I'll be cycling pass soo jung high school before I reach mine. I stop in front of her school to see if she arrived safely. I really care about her. she's my only sister, the only sibling I have. Our situation right now is really hurtful to accept but what can I do? she's ashamed of me, her own brother.

I can see that she already park her bicycle near the gate and as usual, a lot of boys will coming towards her. To ask for phone number I guess. Soo jung is beautiful and that's make me concerned of her. A lot of boys get easily attracted to her. I'm worry that something bad will happen but she's a fierce girl so I didn't have to worry much. Right now,I can only hope she take care of herself properly since she's already a high school student just like me.

I continue my cycling until I reach my school and I park my bike near a tree. My steps toward the school hall stop as I heard someone calls me.

"hey nerdy! come here!!" the owner of the voice instruct me. He is Oh Jeongho, the school's bully. I hate him so much. I always tried to run away from him but fail. Sometimes, he wait for me at the school's gate. I'm scared to fight so I just follow his order. I came to him and as I reach him, he ask me to buy him and his fellow friends a cigarette. He did ask me last week but he said it's going to be last time but now, he asked for it again. I try to decline until he stare at me with his death glare. I'm really scared of him so I say yes and went out the school to the nearest store.

"can I have one pack of cigarette please?" I ask the owner.

"you also the last time that came here to buy cigarette for your father right?" the owner ask me.

yes, that's me. that's the first time I bought a cigarette for jeongho and I told the owner that it's for my father to let me off the hook.

"you are buying again for your father? last time, I let it because it was the first time I see your face so I thought I could trust you but not this time, boy! quit it!! smoking is harmful for your body and you still young. treasure your body,will you?"

the owner give me some piece of advice. It's not for me!! I never smoke, I swear. damn!! what should I tell jeongho? he'll beat me up for sure!!

"you are trying to buy what?" a voice from near the stack caught my attention. As I look at the person, my heart skip a beat. oh, crap! this is bad. it's my discipline teacher. omg!! I'm dead.

"follow me, lee jongsuk!!" he said as he grab my arm. He pull me into the school ground and I can see jeongho and his friends are staring at me. as I was far away from them, I can hear their laughs. It's really funny to them that I have been drag by a discipline teacher,huh? It was their fault that I'm going to face the punishment.The Uhm force or his real name Uhm taewoong is my school's discipline teacher and we call him uhm force because he is strict and dreadful. I'm definitely facing the worst nightmare right now.He pulled me into the detention room. He ask me to stay in there as he walk out for a while and came back in like 5 minutes later. He ask me to sit in front of him and now we are facing each other. He stare at me for about a minute until he start his speech. He is now nagging at me non-stop while holding his wooden stick in his left hand. 15 minutes later, I hear the door knocking and the figure that show up startled me. I was froze. my mom? uhm force give her a call? omg!!

"good morning,teacher" my mom greet him.

"good morning, have a seat mrs Lee!" uhm force said it politely. I couldn't even look at her. It was embarassing enough to have a child like me but now..... I'm a disaster, right? I should have never been born into this world.

"I caught him trying to buy a cigarette at the store near the school. I would like to stop him before it turn out worst. He's not supposed to be smoking at his age." Uhm force explained to my mom. My mom look shock of course. To realize that her son is smoking at the age of 17. But i'm not smoking!!

My mom look at me with disbelieve. "jongsuk-ah.."

"I didn't smoke, I swear! I only bought it for a friend" I back up myself.

"that's worst! who's that friend of yours?" uhm force ask me instant.

I don't know what to answer. If I said Oh Jeongho, he'll be punish and he won't stay still. He'll took his revenge on me for sure. I don't know what to do!!

"jongsuk-ah... who is your friend? why are buying for him?" my mom ask.

"............"

"why didn't you say anything? if you don't wanna say your friend's name then I have to punish you instead." Uhm force said it strictly. His stare is no joke. My face is as pale as sheet now and I can feel my hand trembling.but at last, I decide to keep my mouth shut and I need to do a community service for a week as in exchange. My mom keep on apologizing to him and it breaks my heart. I am a humiliation to my family. I am wost than pathetic, useless brat. I was an idiot that always bring down the pride of my family. I'm sorry,mom! I'm sorry that you had to raise someone like me!

My mom went home after that and I went back to my class to continue my studies. After the school's end, I took my bike and cycling, but not towards my home. I'm too ashamed to face my mom right now. She leaving me this morning without even look at me. She must be really disappointed in me. I don't know where to go so I cycling around my neighbourhood until I reach the bridge at the center of my town. I stop there and not too far from me, I can see a guy standing on the ring fence. slowly, he walks towards the edge of the fence. I was shock. Is he trying to commit suicide? I run to him and yell stop!!

the guy look at me.

"don't do it! everyone have their own problems but suicide is not the answer for everything!" I said it firmly. He didn't say a word but he get off from the ring fence and that's a relieve. He keep on staring at me which is creepy.

"well... it's good that you change your mind!" I said it. He look young. maybe he's about the same age as me. As I was about to turn to my bike...

"you can see me?" he ask.

I was clueless by his question. I'm not blind! why couldn't I see him?

"I'm not blind, you know!" I said it straightforward and I went to my bike. He run towards me.

"you can really see me? really?" he ask again and I can see his gloomy face are now turn bright. He's smiling happily. Is he insane? mentally retarded perhaps? omg!! why am I getting involved with this kind of people. I try to run away until he stand in front of my bike.

"at last! someone can see me.... I'm not a ghost,right?" he ask.

now... I'm very sure I'm with a mentally disorder guy. Is he escaped from the hospital?

"go back to your hospital and leave me alone! move aside or I'll hit you with my bike!" I said it angrily but he keep on standing still so I decide to hit him a little to push him aside but as I push my bike towards him, my heart froze and I can't believe my eyes. My bike is penetrating him? It actually does. I cycle forward exactly in front of him but it doesn't hit him a bit. I was now at back of him. Me and my bike are actually penetrate him. what's going on here? I look at him and he look at me...

"what are you?....."