CHAPTER 1

The oblong of baby blues fade into white clouds on Friday morning as Chanyeol settles down in the obscure backside of campus. School schedule marks the hour as the start of first period, but Chanyeol has stopped measuring time by the oppressive black and white clock on the walls a long time ago. As he bends his knees to rest his elbows on them and close his weary eyes, a breeze drifts by and tickles the fringe of his orange hair, golden in the light.

A lot has changed, Chanyeol thinks, since the first year of high school. The place he’d been so eager to explore with his friends is now much of a jail, an obligation, a burden from his shoulders he cannot shake off. He is a student, but he doesn’t feel much like one anymore; in fact, he’s constantly trying to avoid the regular routines of a teenager. Softly, his eyelashes paint a faint shadow over his face as he lowers them to gaze at the calloused fingers weaving through slick blades of grass. Somewhere in his backpack, his phone sounds with a ringtone he has set only for emergencies.

Chanyeol takes his guitar off his back, setting it down before lying down with a sigh. Forcing himself to fall asleep, he shades his eyes from the sun with a lethargic arm. Most people at school have got it wrong, especially the fans of his band, EXO. It’s not that he wants to ditch daily or that he has rebellious genes coursing through his blood; he’s actually an eager learner, a relatively fast one at that. And he doesn’t have anything against chemistry or mathematics or literature either; it’s just that over the years, he’s found it easier to be alone than to be with other people. Hence, he rarely goes to class.

Emptying his mind to the humid summer wind that blows overhead, Chanyeol falls asleep. The forgotten enthusiasm makes him feel hollow to the point of forgetting who he is and what he lives for. It’s a sad fate, frankly. He hadn’t always felt like running. He wishes more than once a day that things could be different.

Running is something Byun Baekhyun is horrible at. The only word to describe him whenever he’s caught in an unlucky situation is none other than frozen: he cannot move and he cannot fight back. He just stands there or sits there and lets the words claw and bite at him like he is dead prey, already limp with all fighting energy dissipated from his veins.

“Hey, kid.”

Sehun, infamous urchin, throws a wad of bunched up papers to the back of his head.

“Kid, got a lollipop?”

The light prods of the harmless balls set a line across Baekhyun’s forehead, but they’re covered by his smooth, chocolate-brown hair. Somebody in the back of the classroom giggles as Sehun spits into one ball and gets up from his seat to stick it square on the back of Baekhyun’s neck.

“Hey, I’m talking to you,” a nasty breath whispers by his ear. Baekhyun’s eyebrows slant as Sehun slings an arm over his shoulder, knocking down the spitball in the process. His eyes follow the crinkled mess thudding silently on the floor and sees that it’s their previous math test, the one everyone but Sehun passed on. A bead of sweat collects at the small of his back.

“Hey, I said: Got. A. Lollipop?”

Heart pounding uncontrollable cacophonies in his chest, Baekhyun turns his gaze away.

“Don’t be rude. I’m talking to you – asking you a question, yeah? Didn’t you hear me?”

Sehun shoves a finger by his temple and gives his head a rough push.

“Here's a quiz, smartass: Got a goddamn lollipop?”

Biting his lower lip in response, Baekhyun reaches down to grab his backpack then s the smaller front pocket. He is good at solving problems, ones that involve numbers or letters on paper, but he is dumb when it comes to figuring out the ones in real life. Without a word, slim fingers find the strawberry lollipop quick – the one Yixing hyung had given him this morning like every other morning – and holds it above his shoulder. Grinning, the older student yanks it from his hands and gives two taps on his back as a reward.

“Thanks, kid.”

As soon as his classmate leaves, the bell rings three times and Baekhyun wipes at his forehead, his other hand closing around the straps of his backpack. The teacher steps in with the click of her heels, then smiles at the class before taking roll. Glancing at the seat next to him, Baekhyun feels a sigh coming up his throat. When the teacher calls his name, he looks to her and mutters out a tiny “Present”.

“Do Kyungsoo?”

“Here.”

“Huang Zitao?”

“Here.”

“Kim Jongin?”

“Here.”

“Kim Junmyeon?”

“Teacher,” the student whines like every other day. Typical Kim Junmyeon: richest pupil on campus and also the most arrogant. Many go to his parties, and he is also EXO’s keyboard player. Baekhyun knows that much about him. “Suho, not Junmyeon! That's such a gay name, come on.”

Mrs. Kwon turns to him for a while, then looks away. “… Yes, and I see that Kim Junmyeon is present. Now, moving on – Luhan?”

“Here.”

The list continues until Sehun’s name is called and he yells out “Yuppp, ing here!” just to make a show, and Baekhyun lowers his head and stares at the close-up of his wooden table as he hears it again.

“Park Chanyeol?”

Three slow, silent seconds, and their homeroom teacher marks something on her clipboard.

Nope, Baekhyun thinks, pressing his forehead to the cool desk. Chanyeol is never here. He knows it’s wrong to, but as the day drags on, he keeps checking back on the seat to his right as if doing so will enchant a spell; as if the next time he looks, Chanyeol will magically appear and stay there until the last bell rings. He doesn’t remember the last time his classmate had been to school, but he hates that he worries for him. They don’t exactly know each other, or at least Chanyeol doesn’t know Baekhyun, so it seems improper that his thoughts always seem to drift to the meaningless eye contacts they share. Although they’d been in the same class for all three years of high school, they haven’t exchanged a single word.

Baekhyun constantly blames this on the fact that Chanyeol never comes to school, but it’s an excuse. In reality, he gets red and nervous to the core, heart beating rapidly in his chest every time Chanyeol comes by. Even if Chanyeol had lived next to him, Baekhyun knows he wouldn’t have had the courage to strike up a conversation. It might have been different if Chanyeol was a girl, or maybe if he were a girl because Chanyeol has many fangirls anyway, but Baekhyun is a guy, and as people say: gay. So he tries not to admit that he is falling so hard and so deeply for a guy who doesn’t know of his existence or even cares to find out, or that the whole concept of these feelings is not allowed. They make jokes, his peers, about homouality during class, and Baekhyun would be lying if he said they didn’t make him feel uncomfortable. But he is a coward, even to his own feelings, so he does not tell anyone. Not even Yixing, who would put shame to the title of an older brother. Everyone is afraid of unexplored territory, and Baekhyun can’t help but feel that he is extraterrestrial when he looks at the world through his silent eyes. He is different, and sometimes it feels like he's always been stranded on a distant moon away from everyone else.

“Baekhyun? Hello, Earth to Baekhyun!”

Shaking his head, said boy comes to focus. “Oh, sorry, hyung. Were you saying something?”

Yixing chuckles as he reaches over to ruffle Baekhyun’s hair affectionately. “No, but you were going all blank on me – that glossy eyed thing you do when you space out.” He smoothens the brunet’s hair back again. “You okay?”

"Yeah," Baekhyun answers, a sheepish smile on his face.

“Did you bring your bus pass?” Yixing continues, “Ahjumma told me to make sure you had it since you forgot it last week when we were visiting home.”

“Yeah, I have it,” Baekhyun replies, taking off a strap of his backpack to open the front pocket where his wallet is. He takes the card from the leather pocket and holds it up. Yixing breathes a sigh of relief and Baekhyun can’t help but shake his head at his mother for always putting a burden on him. It’s not that he's complaining about Yixing's attentiveness to his clumsy and forgetful nature, but it's not the best feeling in the world when Yixing blames himself for forgetting to take care of him. Or maybe it's just that it's suffocating to be a burden to anyone but himself.

“That’s good,” Yixing says as the bus slows to a stop in front of them. Along with a handful of other students, they board the revving vehicle and scan their passes on the electronic device by the driver. Like most days, the bus is crowded with too many students and seniors so they stand in the aisle.

“Okay day at school today?” comes Yixing’s usual question. Baekhyun looks up to nod at him. He never asks if the day had been “good” because they both expect just the minimum in life, nothing more than just okay or fine. Baekhyun is a relatively optimistic person, but that’s because he’s had worse days.

“I’m so glad the Headmaster lets us go home every week now,” Yixing says, “I remember last year when Junsu sunbae’s mom came to rant about how students should be allowed to visit parents more often than once a month or else she’d stop funding him.”

Baekhyun laughs at the memory of a very embarrassed senior sitting uncomfortably in his physical education class as an angry mother had threatened the principal in the middle of the field the day of his father’s birthday. It had been quite a stunning sight, a rare one at such a stiff and prestigious boarding school like Uijeongbu High. The students all think back on it sometimes and wonder if Suho’s parents will participate in a similar outburst for the bad cafeteria food. Now that Junsu has graduated, Suho is the main funder for the school after all.

“You know, Yixing hyung, you don’t have to take me home every weekend,” Baekhyun says, leaning his head against his arm gripping the rubber handle. “I can take care of myself. I am a senior, just like you.”

Yixing scrunches his nose in disapproval as he shakes his head. “You know that I take you home because I want to, Baek. And besides, you wouldn’t even know the way home if I didn’t walk you home.”

“Would too; I can find my way home just fine!" Baekhyun defends as he nudges Yixing’s arm. The older laughs in response to the soft puppy hit. “It's just that I feel really bad for making you walk so much because of me.”

Yixing smiles, reaching his hand over to ruffle Baekhyun's hair again. It’s an old habit from when they were younger, a small gesture that makes Baekhyun finds comforting. “And I feel bad for leaving you alone when I should have convinced my mom to let us stay.”

Baekhyun lets Yixing smooth down his hair again as he himself gives a look of disapproval. "It's not your fault that Ahjussi wanted to move, hyung."

The older gives him a small smile and Baekhyun knows that he can’t convince him otherwise. Ever since he'd moved away last year, Yixing had started a routine of taking Baekhyun home if they happened to be together. For some reason, he still seems to feel guilty about moving out of their old neighborhood although Baekhyun constantly reassures him otherwise. It hadn't been his fault that his dad was blessed with a successful business that year and earned enough money to get his family a new, less rusty house. Living in adjacent apartments ever since they could walk, Yixing had become like an older brother to Baekhyun by the time he had to move away. Sure, they'd both been devastated when Yixing had to leave, but Baekhyun knows now that he has to let go of his dependent shoulder one day. Senior year means growing up, after all.

"Do you have any homework to do over the weekend?” Yixing asks, changing the topic as he gives Baekhyun a soft smile. The younger gives him an equally warm shake of the head as he watches the bustling streets of Uijeongbu through the windows. Approximately one hour and ten minutes away from Seoul via bus, this part of Gyeongi-do is a lot calmer. Out in the city away from the confinements of the school walls, he feels free.

Ten minutes into the bus ride, they switch routes. And as Baekhyun boards the public transport numbered 101, he turns his head.

He’s always there, Chanyeol. Every weekend they visit home after a strenuous routine of studying, every time Baekhyun boards the other bus to head home, Chanyeol takes another to his own. The tape of Baekhyun’s life slows down for two seconds as he watches the tall male disappear into route 133 headfirst, the black guitar bag strapped to his back submerging through the door last. Yixing tells Baekhyun to hold on tight to the noose of the rail, and he is whisked back to real time. That is the most of Chanyeol he gets to see in one week, a quick flash, a darting shadow. And from there, they rebound, travel separate ways until they intersect at this point again the very week after. Baekhyun lives for this consistency.

  Author's Notes  

Hello everyone, I'm back! A lot has changed since the last time I've made an official update to this story and I'm sure the old readers have noticed. For one, EXO is at a boarding school now, which means they stay on school campus Monday through Friday. Also, instead of Seoul, this story takes place in Uijeongbu, which is just north of Seoul. It's where I grew up when I was in Korea, so I'm more familiar with it. To clear up any misunderstandings, Uijeongbu High School is an actual boarding school, but the only thing I'm borrowing is the name; all other details are probably not in coordinance with the original system. That put aside, I hope everyone was okay with the update? It definitely has a different vibe than the EFM before, but I thought this tone would suit the plot better. I'm extremely sorry that this short thing took me so long, but I hope I don't disappoint with this revamped EFM. Thank you to the readers who have stayed with me despite my bursts of OCD and the new ones who are hopping on board now! You guys mean so much to me ♥