Breezy winds blown to our direction, as the gentle waves brushed upon white, rough sands, repeatedly wetting the already moist ground. I lean her head down to my shoulder; my hand slowly encircled around her body, securing her in my embrace.

            “Oppa,”

            “Hmm,”

            How does it feel when you’re up there?”

            I looked down to her, then to the pinkish blue sky, trying to organize every thought I wanted to share to her at this very moment. Where should I start? Do I have to start from the first day of me being her guardian? My agonies whenever I see her being mistreated? Or the memories appeared when I was being sent down…

            “It was nothing at first,” I started,

            “I only feel like it was just some kind of obligation, a duty to earn a chance to finish my business on earth. Thus I only watch you without any courage to pay deep attentions toward every situation happened…”

            “So you’ve forgot me as soon as you die?”

            “That’s the last thing I wished to happen, really, but my memory as human was retained before I finished the duty. Nonetheless, I couldn’t lie about the urging emotion that stirred in me whenever you’re hurt or crying; and I was on my fifth years when I realize about the unknown bond.

            The rest of the years were blurred, but the pains were visible till now. Whenever I watch you, I also felt them; worries, agonies, sadness, disappointments, and fears. All of those emotions kept on assassinating me in and out, I wanted to cry, but I know I couldn’t,”

            “But… why’d you let yourself burdened like that?” She suddenly lifts her head of my shoulder, her eyes into mine; it appears that her tears are going to flood out anytime soon.

            “As your guardian, I was assigned to protect you, to watch you from above, to aid your heart whenever you’re down. I saw you cry almost every day, I saw you pained and tormented, but what have I done for you? I only stayed on heaven, watching you with indescribable thoughts until you fell asleep and wake up with uncured bruises and exhaustion…

            I was dead, I’m no more than immortal soul, and I knew too well that things like resurrection or soul exchanges are too good to be true. It needs no reason to me to unburden myself when the one I supposed to guard was picking up the heavier ones. It’s more than duty, Jooyeon. It’s the only way for me to see you; it’s my only way to fulfill our promise.”

            I lift my hand up to cheeks, softly wiping her tears away,

            “And then?”

            “And then, the Reaper called me, and asked me to close my eyes. I was hypnotized, all of my memories are unleashed, everything felt like movies, filled with you and me,” I chuckled, seeing her eyes lit up in relieve.”

            “I still couldn’t believe that you’re here,” She looked down; her eyes went sad, as she fumbling with the edge of her jacket, “I thought that you’re just a shadow, a familiar shadow I always seen whenever I’m down. It was exasperating… whenever I want to hug you, to touch you, you weren’t there, and you never existed, until now…”  

            Without words, I took her hand as we both stood up, slightly brushing the sands off our pants. We walked, barefooted, allowing the sands to tickling our feet. Sky is turned brighter; I know my time is getting shorter…

            “Still remember this place?” I said after we knelt down between chunks of sand, I silently felt relieved, knowing that the ‘treasure’ still on its place.

            “Shall we dig it?”

            Those minutes feel like déjà vu when we prodded our fingers onto the lump, digging the sand like the way we used to do when we were kids. The evening winds are chilling, but at some point, her laugh and smile warmed me than anything. As if my heart has been regenerated, soft, familiar pulsations are flowing all over my body.

            Small twinkle is seen when she lifts her hand from the newly-dug hole. I reached out for the small box and handed it to her, who slowly accepts it with confused look. “The caretaker gave it to me when I was thirteen, saying that it’s pinned on my mantle at the night they found me in front of the orphanage.” I said, leading her hand to open the box and takes out the gold locket.

            “I decided to keep it secret from you, until we grown up. I’m afraid that I couldn’t make it, since I’ve already known that I’m not going to live long with carrying such acute disease. But now, at this time… I’m glad I’m able to make my promise to you…” Gently, I enclose my hands around her neck, searching for the edges of the locket and lashed them together.

            “Beautiful,”

            For quite long time, I locked our gaze together, letting myself absorbed into her beauty, her image, her happiness, her smile, and her fragility.

            “Oppa, you’re going to stay forever right?” The fatal words creep into my consciousness, slamming me out of my mind, reminding me about the awaiting dawn. Blinking, I looked around to the pinkish blue sky, the beach, and back to her eyes.

            “I need you to grant my one, last wish”

            For the first and the last time, I leaned down to her and pressed our lips together. I embraced her even deeper, as droplet of water wetted my cheeks, and taste of salt caressed my draining lips.

            “You are going to leave again, aren’t you?” She writhed, letting go of my embrace and hitting my chest hastily. “Why are you keep on hurting me, and keep leaving me torn into pieces?! Why can’t you stay, or if you really have to leave, why can’t you take me with you?!”

            “I’ll be happy to take you with me, to free you from those distresses, but it’s impossible, and nobody could do it but you, only you...” I whispered between my own sobs. Her body is trembling hard, as she pushed my blurred figure.

            “How… Tell me! How could I get the freedom when you left, how could I stand up when I have nobody to help me do so… how?!”

            I insisted myself to smile, ignoring the scorching anguish painted on her face… Vivid rays of sun spread up on the clear sky once my words ended. My nerves are numbed when white mist covered my mortal embodiment; gentle waves took me away, separating our body in a blink of eyes.

            She fell on her knees at the moment I released her. No things left at me but empty mind and vacant heart, definite spaces that couldn’t be filled with anybody, but enough to keep her and guard her in eternity…