It’s been a week since I’ve updated my SNS account. I’m sure my fans are getting worried now. I’ve made a promise that I will not check twitter while I’m still in Busan but I have a change of heart. Being a hardcore fan before, I know how it feels when we are deprived of any news about our idols. Blackjack fandom is experiencing El Nino right now, so might as well shower them with a little rain to stop the drought.

I log on to my twitter account and type in some words then attached a photo. I click send and moments after, I saw the numbers of notifications increase. Our fans must be missing us so much right now.

Sandara Park @krungy21: Wassup Blackjacks! I’m having a movie marathon right now. I cried, I screamed, I laughed and I fell in love. Hope to see you soon, mwaaaahhh! ^_^V

Attached picture shows different DVD’s of my favorite movies.

I check my mentions and true enough the fans are very grateful for my simple update. They were glad that I am having fun. They even suggested some movies for me to watch. I saw some fans asking me to post a selca saying that they really miss me so much. They are even asking me when will be 2ne1’s comeback. I type in some words again and attached my photo.

Sandara Park @krungy21: Great things come to those who wait.

In the photo I am wearing a black spaghetti strap top and white shorts.  It was taken in Busan’s famous light house.  I was leaning on the railings while looking directly at the ocean. Only my side profile can be seen. The dark background and the sunset provide a melancholic feel on the photo. In the photo, it was like I was patiently waiting for my lover to come back. The longing and sadness are effortlessly express in my facial expression.

Seconds after sending the tweet, fans keeps retweeting it. My photo elicited different reactions from them.

@Darabias: Dara Unnie @krungy21 You look so pretty as always but please be happy always. We miss you and yes we will patiently wait for your comeback.

@Dara4ever: @krungy21 Are you really human? Beautiful is an understatement to describe you Unnie. Even without makeup your beauty still shines. Love you Dara.

@rabbitlovesdragon: @krungy21 : Are you waiting for a certain Dragon to come back in Korea. Don’t worry Unnie their promotion is almost over. You’ll soon be reunited.

@jaedarabias: Dara Unnie you look like a Vampire. You look so radiant, your skin is glowing. You and Jaejoong Oppa are perfect for each other. Vampire couple FTW.

One tweet really touched my heart when I read it.

@Daraismynumber1: @krungy21 I can feel that you are going through something. Whatever it is be strong and always remember that we are always here for you. Be happy always because your happiness is also our happiness.

I check my other notification and I got surprised when I learned that Kim Jaejoong followed me back already. I type Dara Jaejoong in the search box and I saw all the tweets about us.  Tweeps are talking about my rumored attendance in JYJ’s concert in Japan. Fans are speculating that Jae and I are close friends and maybe it was TOP who introduced us to each other.  Some fans are happy that we are now following each other while some are so against it. I saw tweets from Blackjacks especially Daralings, how they are so thankful to Jae for indirectly defending me against the bashers and haters.

I continue lurking in twitter when I stumbled on this fan account involving me, Jiyong and Kiko. I click on the link and read.

@YumiDBSK: I am shopping in this shop when I saw GD talking to a girl. GD and the girl are talking when Kiko Mizuhara suddenly came and pushed the girl and started insulting her. She accused the girl of stalking G Dragon. The girl pawned Kiko when she answered back. This is what the girl said. “Excuse me! No offense meant Jiyong shi, but Miss I’m not a fan of Mr. G Dragon. And for your information my bias in Bigbang is TOP. And Miss, I am a very busy person and stalking is not my cup of tea. How about you? Are you G-Dragon’s stalker?” Kiko’s expression is priceless. The girl left GD and Kiko on their spot. After that, G Dragon tried to run after the girl and left Kiko.  Weird thing is that the girl has a strong resemblance on 2ne1’s Sandara Park.

That fan account has garnered different reactions from fans. Some don’t believe it telling the fan to just start writing her fan fiction. Some are asking for a proof like a picture. While majority believes her fan account especially when other fan account with same story started circulating in twitter. Another fan account involving me also made it to twitter making twitter people wonder if G Dragon and I are on the same place with Kiko at the same time. The fan account is supported with a funny video.

@YoonaAddict: I was checking for a gift for my cousin’s birthday when I noticed this pretty girl looking at the speaking dolls. She was so cute playing with the doll that I got the urge to record it on my phone. I didn’t realized that it was Sandara Park of 2ne1. This is my first time seeing her in person. Tv and photos didn’t give her justice at all. Her skin is so flawless even without make up. She is very gorgeous up close. There’s just something about her that you can’t explain. There’s an inner glow that radiates upon her. There’s like an invisible spotlight that follows her around. She’s also very nice. I know it’s not shown in my video but when I approached her she got scared of me because I am wearing this scary mask I saw in the store.  She even apologized to me for getting scared, kekeke she’s just the cutest ever. She bowed to me and smiled at me before turning around to leave. Hay, I think I died and went to heaven that day. Check the video and fall in love with Sandara Park.

I check the video and I laugh so hard when I saw how silly I was in it. The video got more than a million views now and the comments are also very funny. Fans also translated what I was saying in the video since I am speaking Filipino. My funny video also made it to different news not only in Korea but in other countries as well.

I want to lurk in twitter more but decided against it because I might read tweets that may hurt my wounded heart. I am still on healing period and its best to avoid things that will trigger the pain. I close my twitter account and look at the calendar. Today is Tuesday and as promised we will be holding a party for the kids in the orphanage. I went to the bathroom to take a bath. After slipping in my comfortable jeans and cute top I went downstairs and look for my Mom.

“Good morning Omma!” I kissed my Mom’s cheek and sit on our dining table. Mom put a bowl in front of me and my eyes twinkled when I saw what’s in it.

“Waaaahhhhhh, rameeeeennnnnnn! You’re really the best Omma in the whole world.” I told Mom then started devouring my ramen.

“Yah Dara, don’t eat too fast you might choke!” Omma reprimanded me. I give her a thumbs up telling her I’m okay because I am too busy eating to talk to her.

My Mom watches me as I eat the ramen mercilessly. She laughs at me when I complained to her how my belly hurts after eating my breakfast.

“Aigo Darayah, how will your stomach not complain when you eat that ramen in just few minutes?  I think you’ve set a new record in eating ramen.” She laughs again after that.

“Omma!” I whined at her for teasing me.

“Where’s Durami?” I asked Omma after our series of teasings.

“She went to the orphanage already. Her class will start at nine A.M. She told me that you want to go there. Tell me if you’re ready so we can go there together, I miss the Ahjummas in the orphanage, so might as will give them a visit.”  Omma took my empty bowl and wash it in the sink. I went to my room to brush my teeth and fix myself. I comb my hair and arranged it in an apple hairstyle. I put on some BB cream and lip gloss. I check myself in the mirror and a satisfied smile appeared on my face when I saw myself. Gone were the puffy red eyes and dark under eye circles. All I see now is a smiling and fresh Dara. I look to myself and said, “Hello beautiful, this is going to be a wonderful day. Have fun Dara.”

I run downstairs while yelling in a sing song.

“Omma come on, a go go go!!” My Mom laugh at my childlike antics. People are always asking me what my secret is for staying young looking. Well truth is, it’s not about the anti-ageing lotions and serums. The key to looking young is to feel young. Just because you added numbers in your age doesn’t mean we can no longer enjoy the things that we did when we were younger. People always confuse childlike to childish. But what they failed to realize is we can always be childlike without losing the maturity that our age entails.

My childhood memories flash back like a movie as me and Mom takes a walk to the Orphanage.  I remember walking in this street with my schoolmates as we go to school. I saw the playground and I can still clearly remember how I run around and play in the swing, and slides. Such happy childhood memories.

People we meet in the street stop and look at us. They complimented my Mom for raising beautiful and humble kids. They are even telling that we can be mistaken as sisters.  They even ask me when I’m going to introduce my boyfriend to them and I answered them that Won Bin Oppa hasn’t answered my love call yet. All the people here know that Won Bin Oppa is my ultimate crush and they said that they will help me pray for it.

We reached the Orphanage at around 9:15. Omma introduce me to the staff and they were so happy when I meet them. They said they are a fan of 2ne1 and they are waiting for our comeback. I told them that they have to wait patiently and that our comeback will be worth it.   I politely bowed at them and told them that I will just roam around.

I was walking in the hallway when I heard someone crying. I look around to look where it’s coming from. I followed the voice and it leads me to an empty room. I listened to the voice as she continues to cry.

“Papa God, why don’t I have a family?  Nobody loves me. I don’t have a father and I don’t even have a mother.” Heartbreaking cries were heard in the empty room. I silently walk inside and saw a cute little kid crying in the floor. The little girl is about four to five years old. She has big eyes, cute pointy little nose and small red lips. Her hair is black and curly. She looks like a doll.

“Papa God, I wish there will be someone who will love me. Just like in TV, I hope someone will give me toys and buy me beautiful dress. Please Papa God, when will you answer my prayer?” My eyes get misty after I heard the little girl’s prayer. We sometimes complain in the little mishaps that happen in our everyday life that we often forget that there are other people who are suffering more. We tend to focus on our own little issues in life that we fail to notice our brothers and sisters sufferings.

I cleared my throat and the little girl looked at me. I saw her eyes widen then she asked me in her cute little voice “Teacher Durami?” I smiled at her and crouched beside her.

“Hi I’m Sandara, teacher Durami’s big noona?” I smile when I saw the little kid look at me and cutely pout her lips.

“Big noona? But teacher is bigger than you?” She asked me innocently. I can’t help but laugh at her.

“Uhmm okay let me rephrase that then, I’m teacher Durami’s older noona.” I explained to her. I saw her looked at me her brows furrowed. Her little hands touch my face as she looks at me closely.

“But you look so young, you can’t be an ahjumma.” She’s still looking at me with confused look. I decided to take her hand and ask her something.

“Okay can you show me how old are you?” I saw her raise her four fingers indicating that she’s only four years old.

“You know how old is Durami teacher?” I asked her and she moves her head sideways. I took her hands and I started counting cutely. We started counting together until we reached 25. She was catching her breath after that because she was counting loudly and with so much feels. I giggled at her cute gestures.

“You want to know how old I am.” She nodded her head and gives her hands to me. We started counting until we reached 29. She looks at me and her eyes widen.

“Oh, you’re four years older than teacher Durami.” I was amazed at how intelligent she is. I ruffled her hair and smiled at her. She looked at me then her face suddenly turns sad. She looks away from me and bows her head.

“Do you want to listen to a story.” She didn’t answer but she looks at me curiously. She was anticipating whatever it is that I am going to tell her.

“Once upon a time in a beautiful place, the mother fairy gathered her beautiful daughters and sons to send in Earth. The earth is need of people who will remind them of goodness and pure love. And so, mother fairy chooses who among them she will send to earth.  The chosen ones were called angels. These angels usually stay in a big place with other children. They don’t have parents. Mother fairy brought them together to bring love and joy to the people they will come across with.”

She looks at me and her eyes sparkles in understanding.

“So I’m an angel. All the kids here are angel? She asked me eagerly. I smiled at her and continue my story.

“Mother fairy wants her angels to always be happy. Her angels should listen to the ahjummas and teachers. If the angels follow Mother fairy’s request, the angels will receive special gifts and surprise.”

“But I have been a good girl; I always listen to teacher and the ahjummas. I don’t fight with the other kids.” She continues.”

“We’ll Mother fairy told me to look for this angel with a curly hair and big eyes.” I saw her touch her hair and eyes.

“Me?” disbelief was written in her beautiful face. I nodded at her.

“Mother fairy told me that you have been a very good angel so you will receive a surprise.” Her eyes sparkle with so much joy. She gets up from the floor and hugs me tightly. I tear escaped my eyes as I felt the little child’s happiness. It warms my heart that a simple gesture can change someone’s life. I hug her tightly and kissed the top of her head. After a moment, she frees herself from me and looks me in the eyes.

“Are you my angel?” she was looking at me with her big innocent eyes. I smiled at her and give her my answer.

“No, you are. You are my angel.” She moves to me closer then cup my face before giving my cheeks small kisses.

“I think I know what you are now.” She was touching my face with her small hands. She was looking at my face and examining it closely.

“You’re a Goddess.” I smiled at her and I stand up. I offered my hands to her and she grabs it.

“Are you ready to see what Mother Fairy has prepared for you? Her face lightened up after I mentioned the word surprise. She nodded happily and started jumping in excitement.

We walk hand in hand towards the hall where the other kids and staff are starting to gather. The hall is decorated with colorful balloons making the event more festive. Delicious foods are displayed in a long table at the right side of the hall. Music was playing and the kids are dancing happily. The caterers even have clowns and have games not only for the kids but also for adults so everyone had fun.

It was already afternoon when we decided to go home. I had so much fun today. I promised the kids that I will visit them and play with them if I’m not busy. I spoke to the administrator and pledge an amount to support the orphanage. They were very thankful to me. They also mentioned that one of their benefactors visited the Orphanage today and it is very unfortunate that we never get to be introduced to each other.

Dara settled herself in her bed as she prepare for slumber. She is so happy today. Her heart is overflowing with so much love. Love really comes in different shapes and colors. And today, she discovered that despite her heart being broken for several times, her heart is still capable of loving. She has so much love to give and share. She closed her eyes with a beautiful smile plastered on her lips. Life is getting better and better.

Somewhere in a lavish apartment, someone is looking at Dara’s photos while she was at the Orphange. Unknown to Dara, someone has took pictures of her non-stop. The photographer finds Dara and the child a very interesting subject. He carefully followed her, making sure not to show himself to her. Everyone in the orphanage knows him so they were not surprise anymore seeing him there. His eyes followed Dara and a smile curved his lips when she saw her playing with the kids. As he looks at the photos he can’t help but admire the beauty that was captured perfectly by the camera. Every angle of her is just so perfect. You will never get tired looking at her face.

“I’ve heard about you for so many times but why did I never bother to get to know you? You are not only beautiful on the outside. You also have a beautiful heart and soul.” the photographer was talking to Dara’s pictures with pure admiration.

“Sandara Park, we will meet one day, that’s a promise.” He gives the picture a final look before finally deciding to rest.

Somewhere in Japan in two different places, two idols are sleeping tightly

Idol 1

She was there in the middle of the crowd looking so perfect and beautiful. We we’re looking at each other and I never knew that happiness like this existed. I moved towards her and offer my right hand to her. She looks at me with her beautiful eyes as if asking me what I want.

I look at her intently and with all the courage I have, I kneeled in from of her and ask her the question that I’ve been longing to ask.

“Sandara Park, will you be my princess? I saw her eyes gets teary eyed and before I can hear her answer the crowd started shouting and jumping around.

I was awakened from my beautiful dream. I looked at the clock and it’s already 3:00 A.M. I wonder how her day was. I close my eyes again hoping to dream about her once more.

Idol 2

I saw her looking at me with so much love. I heard her calling my name while running after me. She was so happy and so in love with me. My heart is beating so fast as I feel that love she has for me.

But then everything change. She was crying and in deep pain. I can still see love shining in her eyes but I can sense that she is suffering. I saw a red mark on her face and a blood trickle on the side of her lips.

I saw the look of betrayal and loneliness as she looked at me in the eyes. She’s slowly disappearing in front of my eyes. I tried to call her but she is slowly vanishing.

I called her name but she’s completely gone now. I shouted one more time hoping that she’ll come back to me..

Dara, Baby girl……!!!!!

I was panting too hard when I was jolted from my sleep. I clutched my heart as I felt an unbearable pain with the memory of my dream. It always started to be a beautiful dream until it turns out into a nightmare. I went back to bed and close my eyes. When will this nightmare ends?

Author’s note: Thank you so much dear subscribers and readers. I enjoyed reading your comments. Bet you never expected that it was just a fan who saw Dara in that store? Shout out to Jaedara shippers – just be patient , their time will come hopefully soon. And to the Daragon shippers, G Dragon has been doing good and behave in real life and throwing rice cakes to applers so let’s make him rest for a moment. I wonder who that photographer is and what will be his role in Dara’s life? I hope 2ne1 will have their comeback soon. I am missing them so much.

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XOXO : linlin_10