The world seems cold. Dark. Empty. I don’t understand anymore what is going on or why I feel this way. Everything just feels wrong inside. Suffocating. My heart is so heavy, so heavy but also so numb.

He paused, slowly looking up from his writing and looking around at the world going on around him. Although Jinki was safely in the comforts of his small room, away from the stress of his life, the angel was very unhappy. He had been sent on a mission to work with a group of humans, to help them find the light again and a pure state of mind again.

This message is to those that I love. I just wish for them to be happy, and understand that I do love them. what I have become is not what I wanted, so I fear that I will not be returning at the end of this mission. I have allowed too many sins into my life, and couldn’t possible go back. Heaven is no longer my home..

Jinki paused again, stopping the few tears that had gathered in his eyes. Almost painfully, he reached back and opened one of his wings, the beautiful feathers before pulling out his right flight feather. Without it, Jinki would never be able to fly properly again. A gasp escaped his lips, bitter tears filling his eyes at the pain that it brought him both mentally and physically. By pulling out the feather, he ensured that the feather would never go back, unless the heavenly father granted him new wings. Biting his lip to forced the tears away, he did the same to left wing so that the angel’s wings where completely useless.  

“No one will notice..” His voice was so soft, enclosing his flight feathers in the journal and tying it with a small strip of leather.

Jinki’s eyes fluttered closed as he held the journal and thought of his lover. Calmly, pushing away the threatening emotions, the angel sealed his powers into the leather journal before sending it to heaven with whatever powers he had not sealed. When the day was right, Minho would find the journal and hopefully understand. Until then, tears slide down Jinki’s face as suddenly the feelings of being alone hit him and swelled. His wings ached from the loss of the flight feathers but more than that, his body was already being to ache at the loss of the angelic power. Sobbing, the young angel barely made it to his small bed before passing out. In ways, he became mortal. His wings disappearing as without power, he couldn’t keep them on earth.