One month passed as the time flies so fast that I couldn't think that another month were past as every tickles of the clock every second. We barely meet or to talk just not to caught up. I mean we meeting behind Shin and im guilty about that. How can I do to my friend with this kind of upsetting doings of mine?

Because I promise to Lay that I will try my best to love him back but its kinda hurtful to me knowing that it's really hard to force myself to fall in love with him.

I was heading to my locker to put my Books on but when I opened the door a paper fell on the ground saying...

'Lets meet at the school garden in the lunch break dont tell Shin-ah about this she will just be upset. I miss you so much'

-Lay

I sighed after reading this, i dont want Shin-ah to hurt what if she find us meeting behind her. I dont want to hurt her but I need to make a decision right now i need to tell to Lay what's in my mind and what's my answer but when the things will popped on my head it couldn't help but to erase the pain of my heart as if it was aching so madly I dont want him also to get his heart pain.

The bell rang signaling that the 3rd subject was over and the time for the lunch break. I walked to the cafeteria to only find a bunch of people lined up to get their own meal. I search to the available table, luckily, i spotted at the corner and since theres no one sat there i sauntered myself going to the table.

I bring out from my bag my lunchbox that my mom's cooked so I don't need to line up with the endlessly lane.

Just when im about to stand up i forgot something......*IM 30 MINUTES LATE?!!! MUST NEED TO CATCH HIM UP* i quickly dodged off of to the table to avoid their bull glares at me. Well they indeed know, that im close to Lay so they all mad at me. Lay are used to be Kingka of the school so that's why.

I ran to the school garden, luckily, i found him still at the bench waiting for me he kept on glancing at his watch. I sauntered on the bench and dusted my uniform before showing up.

"oh, sorry Im kinda late" i chuckled and seat next to him. "I should punish you for being late" He let out a small chortled and slided his hands through the back of the bench. He kept on tapping my back i get annoyed. "Yah! Yah! Zhang Yixing can you please stop that childish act? Seriously??" i made a face causing him to glanced at me.

No one are spoking between us. It's really AWKWARD!!! SHIIIT BREAK THAT AWKWARD SCENE.

"What--" we both chorused.

I looked at him, he looked up to me then giggled as if no one beside him. "You go first" I said and looked away. "uhmmmm.....I just want to know your answer because its been a month" he said and looked at me. I blinked for a seconds and gulped not wanting to answer his question right now. I mean im not prepared. Zhang Yixing can you please give me another space of time??

"Are you okay? You look pale..." as he touched my forehead. I quickly slapped his hands off to my forehead not wanting to make a skinship from him. I closed my eyes and sighed. I took a deep breath before turning to him, obviously facing each other to confront.

"Zhang Yixing......" i said in a calm voice and held his hands on me. I know this is the last time I can hold his hands because I know this is the first time then I say this is the last. He shifted his eyes which is landed to me. He smiled and squeazzed my hand by wrapping it with his both hands.

"Lay i have my answer now to your questions which is mean is in your head now" i said and look at the ground, avoiding his eyes. "Really? What was that?" he said and stirred his body to move on me. I frowned. Lay notice it and his smiled were vanished all. I knew Lay know what's im thinking right now.

"Lay....." I pause then look at him. "...sorry but I can't really force myself to love you back. Im sorry"

Then, he look away, surprising me that he didn't even get mad at me nor yelled up me. I heard him sigh as if I didn't exist. He smiled "Oh sorry what's your saying just now?" he laughed and trying to hold his laughter, touching his stomach. "Im serious Lay, don't make it fun and stop pretending that you didn't hear it" I rolled my eyes.

"Lay i can't--"

"Oh, i need to go to my room. Goodbye" he said and bid a goodbye.

 Thanks to the bell that i didn't even had a chance to repeat it. I sighed and stood up still looking at the ground.

*Why I had this heavy feeling of regretting at the end??? Tsk.*