Why does it hurt so much?

Description

Love.

Hurt.

Pain.

Numb.

Dark.

Why is it that it hurts so much when you love someone so much that you can even give up your life for him?

Amber has been through so much in her life.

She was an empty person untill Minho walked in her life.

He filled her with warmth, feelings, love.

He didn't now. But Amber had let him in her heart.

And now it was all gone.

And all she felt was hurt and pain.

 I know the description isn't good enough. :( But please bear with it...

Dear readers, this is my first one shot I don't know if it is good.

But I would really appreciate if you comment.

Thank you. :)

 

Foreword

 

Why does it hurt so much? Why does it feel like my world is caving in around me? 

All I wanted was for him to be happy. He is happy. Away from me. Still in my heart. Taking me away from me. I promised myself I would not cry at all. Here I am broken into pieces and not repairable. Even breathing in feels like a knife is been dragged against my heart. My world has left me. I walked away from everything for his happiness but why does it feel like I can never live again?

He was the fresh wind that lifted me up when I was beyond help. He repaired me up. He braught me back from my depression. He was the one who taught  me to live and love. And now he is gone and I let him go for his happiness. He deserves someone he loves and someone who can love him back without breaking him. I know I can never be the person. I am damaged. 

I didn't even hurt this much when I was torn apart from inside when that monster me. I never thought after that I could live again. I lived the life of a robot, scared to feel, scared to trust, scared to love again. But he taught me to fight the fears. He forced me to breathe, to smile and to feel. He braught me out of the dark place where I could only feel dispair and disgust for myself. Why did God send my gaurdian angel to me only to be taken away from him. I guess I'm not meant to be happy... But that is fine as long as he is happy and loved.

But...why does it feel like my heart is on fire? Why can't I just feel numb again. Why can't I slip back again to the darkness.

"You know you don't want to" I heard a voice.

"You promised him you wouldn't" the voice spoke again.

"But..." I tried to speak but only tears and gasps escaped through my mouth.

"I won't let you" the voice spoke again.

I just don't want to feel this hurt, this pain. Please I just wanna escape this ache. 

"Never... You have to feel this"

Why?

"Because you love him. You left your life because of  him. You gave up your happiness. You have nothing left in you other than pain and hurt. But you had promised him you won't slip back and stop living. You can't break your promise. You know you don't want to."

Please...Its killing me. I can't live like this. I can't live without him. Why did I have to fall in love with him when I knew I could never have him? Why? Why?

"He deserved to know"

No. He did so much for me. He sacrificed so much for me. I could never give him all the happiness. I could never give him a family he deserved; I could never take him away from his family. But I will always love him. Even if it kills me I'll stay away from his life if that's what I have to do. I'll take this pain if I have to like I promised. I'll live, I'll breathe...but I can't fulfill his promise to the word. The pain won't let me smile. The pain will always be there. I know I want him... I took him away from the part in me which wants to be loved and be happy. I'm sorry...

And I never heard the voice again. I guess that’s the answer. I caused the pain to myself and I have to live with it. But never again would I regret loving him.

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Comments

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Amalya #1
Chapter 1: With the setup you have in the foreword, I wasn't entirely sure what to expect because it's quite angsty and dark, what with the mention of and her semi-suicidal thoughts, but you do manage to turn it around rather quickly. Other than a few noticeable typos, the story is fast and things certainly move at a quick pace, which is good to keep the emotion high, but you do lose descriptive value in the process. I wanted to know how things were going to end up but I also found myself wanting to know more details. What did people look like? How long had Minho and Amber known each other for? How did he decide that he wants to marry Jessica when he had Amber right there next to him? And I have to wonder if Key and the others tried to have a talk with Minho before it ever got to that part.

I feel like I'm missing so much of the story, even with the foreword and how things ended up. I'm glad it was a happy ending, but it's almost like you skipped through all the development and rushed right to the end. More interaction between them prior to this scene would have been awesome. I'm actually more interested in how he saved her from herself early on instead of what happens after. haha

But good job overall and congrats for finishing. Thank you for sharing.
OVERDOSE-JUNGDOK #2
Chapter 1: This is beautiful TvT❤️
hiphopmix #3
Chapter 1: AAWWWWHHH this story was so good!
I love how you write the feelings like that, It's inspiring.(:
NachtEule #4
Chapter 1: Such a nice story :). I just love this couple. You're a great writer ~
MotshELF #5
Chapter 1: Awww I don't regret reading this story ^^ ! I'm not really into hetero couples between idols, but this one works amazingly in your fanfics !!
Loly21 #6
Chapter 1: really love this stories can you make it sequel or write another story like this with the same pairings and plot:) U r good writer:)
joeandminho #7
@soheerin...well I mentioned that amber was so due to that she had some complication so she is basically infertile...its sad I know....and yes i'm playing with the idea of a sequel...:)...
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