It had started way before their debut as SHINee. As trainees, they stayed together, practiced together and hung out together, so it wasn’t something that was new to them. Onew was the oldest and therefore cared for the members in his own way, even if they about his awkwardness or “Onew condition” as they liked to call it. Key was naturally observant and always noticed what the members would need and want, so it really wasn’t all that surprising when he pulled Jonghyun’s training attire out of his bag and handed it to him when the older had finally realized that he hadn’t packed a change of clothes for dance practice.  Or at least, it wasn’t that surprising to Onew.

Onew and Key weren’t best friends, no, Jonghyun and Key were best friends. Onew and Key were just friends but they shared an understanding that wasn’t defined by how close they were. It was an unspoken understanding that often translated through shared looks, teasing gestures and knowing smiles.

Of course, the fans picked up on the vibe when they made their debut and Key became the “mom” of the group while Onew was the “dad”. Even though Key would sometimes protest when being labeled as the “mom” of the group, all the other members knew that he didn’t really mind it. It was after all, an indirect acknowledgement for everything that he had done for them.

It was no secret that the both of them shared some chemistry when they were together but it also seemed as if there was a mutual agreement that they wouldn’t take it to another level, that they would just remain friends. Or at least, that was the way it seemed to Onew, and he was perfectly fine with it, as long as he could keep Key close.

That all changed one day though. The change didn’t actually happen in a day but it felt that way to Onew. The times they spent together slowly grew lesser and the smiles and looks exchanged also grew fewer. Onew got busier and busier so he attributed it to his busy schedule and didn’t notice the change until one day, Key wouldn’t even look his way.

He was puzzled at first, wondering if he had done something to offend the younger or maybe said something that made him angry, but no matter how many times he racked his brains going over whatever he did or said in the days leading up, he just couldn’t figure it out. He hadn’t done anything too stupid or said anything too harsh. He stared after Key with a confused look as he headed to where Jonghyun was sitting and plopped himself down beside his best friend, resting his head on the latter’s shoulder. His brows were furrowed towards the middle as he let out a soft sigh, as if he was exhausted even though their first schedule of the day had yet to begin. Jonghyun just turned his head slightly and glanced down at Kibum before a knowing look flashed across his face and he reached up to pet the younger’s head comfortingly.

Now it was Onew’s turn to frown. One of the things about being the leader was that you knew almost everything that went on with the members in the dorm. Especially whenever they had problems or troubles because they never failed to came to you for advice. But now, he was staring at a clearly troubled Key who had chosen not to confide in him despite having done so so many times before. “Had he given him bad advice the last time? Was that why he was ignoring him?” Onew thought to himself even as he tried to recall the last time Key had come to him for advice, only to groan inwardly in frustration when all that he could think of was Key’s smile and how much he wanted to see it.

He clenched his fists on his lap as he tried to get his emotions under control. They were about to record for a program and he couldn’t afford to have his mind elsewhere. As much as he wanted to go over to Key and pull him aside to ask him what was wrong, he didn’t. Instead, he just sat there, fists clenched, eyebrows slightly furrowed, and breath held as he tried to control the spreading ache in his chest.

He silently decided that he would ask Key when they were alone later.

Except that later never came. Onew didn’t know how Key managed to pull it off but he managed to avoid all contact with Onew, not even sitting beside Onew in the car when they were on the way back to the dorm after having dinner at some random place. He was always with Jonghyun, Minho or Taemin and Onew couldn’t remember whether it was always this hard to get Key alone.

By the end of the 4^th day of trying to talk to Key and failing for the fourth consecutive time, Onew concluded that Key was avoiding him at all costs and that the members were helping him accomplish that. What he still didn’t know was why he was doing so, why he was going through all the trouble just to make sure that he was almost never around Onew and when he was, that he was with at least one of the members.

Onew was sure that he was going insane by the end of the 7^th day of not having any interaction at all with Key. The latter was still avoiding and ignoring him at all costs. When he tried to go to Jonghyun for answers, he just shrugged and shook his head before walking away. When he went to Minho, the taller just gave him a sad smile and clapped him on the shoulder before walking off. As his last hope, he went to Taemin to try and make sense of what was happening. If he could squeeze an answer out of anyone, it would be the adorable maknae.

“Sorry hyung, Key hyung made us all promise not to tell and you know what happens when we don’t keep the promises we make with him.” He said apologetically, biting his bottom lip and looked at Onew with his puppy eyes.

“It’s alright. I’ll try and figure it out on my own.” He said, patting the maknae on the back to send him on his way. Although he had told Taemin that, he really didn’t have a clue about where to begin.

Onew finally managed to catch a break 2 weeks later when they were filming together and somehow everyone got separated because when he came back to the dressing room after greeting one of the hyungs that would be on the show with them, he found Key sitting by himself on the couch texting away on his phone, oblivious to Onew’s presence in the room.

He struggled with himself for awhile, his mind drawing a blank at this unexpected chance that was thrown his way.

“Hey.” He finally said and he hated himself for sounding rather weak, although it did manage to catch Key’s attention.

Key stared at him for a whole second before looking around rather anxiously, and probably noticing for the first time that he had been alone, and was now alone with Onew. He bit his lips and shifted in his seat, before realizing that he hadn’t said anything yet.

“Hey.” He finally greeted back awkwardly as it was more than a few seconds too late. Nevertheless, Onew was pleased that Key had even responded to his greeting.

That feeling didn’t last too long though because the next thing Onew knew, Key had stood up from where he was sitting and heading straight to the door, and Onew panicked slightly. He had gone over in his head countless times what he would say when he finally got a chance to get Key alone but now, his mind was just a jumbled mess. All he wanted was to stop Key from leaving.

“Wait! Stay. I don’t know what I did but I know that you’re avoiding me because you don’t want to have to talk to me. It’s alright, I get that so you don’t have to try so hard to avoid me anymore. I won’t talk to you if you don’t want me to.” The words slipped out of his mouth before he could even stop himself.

But just like that, Key sat back down on the couch after casting a glance at Onew, a curious look on his face as he tried to make sense of the situation and to see if Onew was being serious…

“Of course he was.” Key sighed in his mind.

It wasn’t until later, much later, that Onew discovered the problem with his rushed out promise. He had initially been pretty satisfied with himself for succeeding in getting Key to stop avoiding him but he hadn’t expected the result of that to be so painful. Having Key not avoid him meant that he could play witness to the growing friendship between Key, Minho and Jonghyun as the latter two were always around him. He could only watch as Key smiled and laughed and was happy with everyone other than him.

He hadn’t meant for it to happen but he slowly found himself getting increasingly frustrated at himself as he watched Key drift further and further away from him even though he was right there. So close but yet so incredibly far. He knew that he should have just broken his promise and forced Key to talk to him but he wasn’t the type to get angry at other people, and he wasn’t the type to trouble others with his worries, so he kept it all to himself.

As Key slowly got his smiles and laughter back, Onew slowly lost his. He withdrew from everyone and became a little quieter each day. It got to a point where even the mask that he wore when he had schedules wasn’t enough. The fans could tell that something wasn’t right, that he wasn’t happy despite his smiles, that he wasn’t as close to the members as before. He hadn’t meant for things to get this far, or for the fans to worry but it did get worse.

At some point in the middle of this whole mess, he did ask himself why he was feeling this way just because Key wasn’t talking to him anymore but he just wasn’t ready to accept the answer that he had come to. He wasn’t ready to admit that at some point, his feelings for Key had grown from friendship to something more, from chemistry to love. At some point, his heart had become greedy and it took Key’s sudden coldness for him to realize everything.  

In the end, after realizing that he really couldn’t keep forcing his smiles anymore, he decided that he had to remove himself from the source of his troubles. He had to take a break from being SHINee’s warm and gentle leader. He needed to go somewhere where he could piece himself back together again.

On the day he finished packing and left the dorm for his “break”, he said goodbye to all the members, apologized for having to miss schedules and promised to be back soon. Taemin and Minho gave him a hug, Jonghyun clapped him on the back and Key just nodded in his direction, his gaze still not quite meeting Onew’s. Onew gave them all one last tight-lipped smile before walking out of the dorm to meet one of their manager hyungs.

Onew returned to the dorm in no time; mainly because there were schedules that he couldn’t miss, not because he had gotten himself back together. It wasn’t something that could be helped and Onew knew how the industry worked, but he really wished for once that he had a little more time to be away from it all, especially from all the constant flying to and from Japan and all the different hotels they stayed at.

His mood had improved considerably since before he left but the relationships within the group was still quite awkward. He and Key still weren’t really talking and the other members were still unsure how to act around him. It was as if things had returned to their awkward pre-debut days. The only positive thing was that Key’s anger seemed to have dissipated over Onew’s absence from the dorm and now, didn’t seem to mind too much if Onew asked him simple things like whether he had eaten or if he was tired and such.

Of course, to add to everything,  their Korean comeback date had been set in stone and they had to begin the crazy preparations for it- studio recordings, photoshoots, MV filming, teaser, interview specials and not to mention, the endless practice sessions to perfect their dance routine.

Before they knew it, their comeback week came and flew by so quickly. They were all too exhausted by the end of the week to remember too much of what had taken place during the week. They had music shows, radio shows, variety shows all lined up one after the other and everything was just beginning to come together in one big blur. Onew couldn’t keep up with the endless schedules as well and he didn’t try to. He just kept going and tackling each schedule one at a time. It was much easier to get through each day that way and definitely much less tiring to think about as well.

The few things that Onew distinctly remembered were the interactions that he was beginning to have with Key once again. Although they weren’t much at all, they made Onew’s heart beat faster and plastered silly smiles on his face. The best moment was when he and Key were asked to leave video messages for each other on a radio program. Even though it was all a set up by Jonghyun and Minho, Onew was beyond happy when he heard Key’s message to him, including the shy “사랑해요” at the very end of his message.

Nothing too much happened between them in the few weeks following that but while they were filming for another program, Onew was quite pleasantly surprised when Key suddenly decided to share a story about Onew. Even though it was quite an embarrassing story, the mere memory of the incident made Onew smile because as cheesy as it was, those were happy times for them.

Onew still didn’t know what he had done wrong and he didn’t know what he did after to make it up to Key, all he knew was that he didn’t want to risk having Key be indifferent to him again, so he decided that at least for now, it was better not to broach the topic.

On the day of their last concert in Japan, all of them went for the after party and Key got a little too carried away with the warm sake and found himself getting a little tipsy. He took a glance at Onew, who was still sipping on the sake only to find that he was still perfectly sober.

“Not fair.” He whined cutely to Onew, ending with an exaggerated pout.

Onew corked his head to the side to look at Key and raised his brows questioningly. “Hmm?”

“I said it’s not fair.” Key repeated, not forgetting to add the pout at the end again.

“What isn’t?”  Onew asked patiently.

“You.” Onew raised his eyebrows again at Key’s answer but chose to remain silent and wait for the younger to explain.

“You’ve drank so much more than I have. Why are you still sober? How come you’re so good at drinking? That isn’t fair.” Key continued, resting his head on the table but turning to the side so that he was still looking at Onew.

Onew took another look at Key before chuckling and turning to one of their managers. “Hyung, I think it’s time to go back to the hotel. Key had a little too much to drink today.”

Onew heard Key huff beside him, clearly not too happy about being ignored but didn’t say anything when the manager peered over Onew and nodded. “Ok, I’ll go get the van. Make sure you get all your things by the time I come round.”

“Go check on Taemin and make sure he doesn’t leave his belongings behind again.” The manager added over his shoulder as he was walking away, not even turning around to make sure that Onew had heard him because he knew that Onew would do exactly that even without being told.

True enough, Onew was already gathering all of Taemin’s things that were in sight and packing them back into Taemin’s bag. He had learnt over the years that it was easier to help Taemin pack than to tell him to do it because this was the only way to ensure that nothing was left behind.

 Key didn’t say another word to Onew all the way back to the hotel. Onew just figured that he was drowsy due to the alcohol and let him be for most part, only placing a hand around Key’s shoulder to support him when the younger swayed a little as they were making their way back to their shared hotel room.

“You really shouldn’t have drank so much sake. You look like you’re going to wake up with a hangover tomorrow.” Onew said in a slightly teasing manner as he tucked Key into bed, carefully pulling off his shoes, taking off his belt and ing the first few buttons of his shirt.

“Why do you always have to be so nice and perfect all the time?” Key complained. By this time, it was the alcohol that was doing all the talking since Key had snuck a few more cups of sake while Onew was busy packing Taemin’s bag.

For the third time that night, Onew raised his eyebrows questioningly. He chose not to voice his question again, opting instead to brush Key’s fringe away from his eyes, only to have his hands slapped away by Key.

“Stop being so nice to me if you don’t want me to like you.” He blurted out before turning away from Onew to face the wall.

Onew remained silent for a couple of moments, his brain unsure of how to react to the sudden and unexpected confession from Key. His heart raced even as he remained frozen to the spot. “…and what makes you think I don’t?”

Onew frowned when his question was met with silence. He glanced at Key’s back before leaning over him and realizing that Key was already sound asleep. He sat at the edge of Key’s bed and covered his face with his hands, chuckling softly to himself. It all made sense now. Just that one simple sentence and all the months of suffering that Key had put him through made complete sense to him.

He took one last glance at Key’s back and shook his head. “You’re probably not going to remember any of this when you wake up, are you?”

Onew heard the soft rustling of clothes against sheets and a low groan as he walked out of the bathroom after taking a shower the following morning. He stopped towelling dry his hair and looked at Key who was now sitting up in his bed and holding his head.

“What happened last night?” Key groaned out.

“Well… what is the last thing you remember?” Onew asked while moving to the room’s minibar to make a cup of tea.

“Sake… fans… car… hotel… lift-”

“Well, that’s not as bad as I thought. You remember almost everything then.” Onew said, handing over the cup of tea to Key as he sat at the edge of his bed.

“Thanks.” He said as he took the cup of tea from Onew. “What am I forgetting then?” He asked, gently blowing on the surface of the tea to cool it down a little before taking a sip.

“Hmm, let’s see. You don’t remember that you confessed to me then?”

Key spluttered on the sip of tea that he was drinking before getting himself under control as he stared at Onew with wide eyes. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Oh god. You are, aren’t you.” Key groaned out again. “Damnit. I knew I shouldn’t have drank.” He continued to voice his thoughts aloud.

“So… what did you say? Er… you know… after I confessed.” He asked, suddenly incredibly shy and unable to meet Onew’s eyes.

“You fell asleep before I could give you an answer.” Onew answered quite simply.

“Oh…” He trailed off and resumed blowing on his tea because he didn’t know what to say anymore.

Onew continued to stare at Key, wondering to himself how Key could be so adorable even when he was hungover. He reached out and carefully pulled the cup of tea out of Key’s grasp and placed it on the bedside table, making Key look at him with a confused expression.

He reached up and cupped Key’s face with both his hands and leaned in, stopping when their lips were mere millimetres away from touching. “This is my answer.” He said before leaning in the rest of the way and pressing their lips together in a soft kiss.

Onew pulled back after a few seconds and held Key back when he wanted to chase after Onew’s lips for another kiss, shaking his head slightly. “How’s the hangover?” He asked, clearly concerned.

“I’m fine.” Key quickly answered before trying to lean in again for another kiss but only to be denied yet again.

“Are you sure? You don’t look so good. Is your head hurting? How’s your stomach? Are you hungry? Do you want me to call for some room service?” Onew rattled out all the questions before making a move to stand up and get the room service menu for Key, but was immediately tugged back by his hand, making him fall back onto Key’s bed.

Key wriggled his way out from under the sheets to straddle Onew’s waist, leaning down to whisper in his ear. “Shut up and kiss me.” 

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Ok, so I'm dedicating this fic to Jencheermathholic on SFI because this was the one-shot that I wrote especially for her for SFI's secret santa event ^__^ and she has very kindly allowed me to post it up~ 

I was actually thinking of making it a two-shot (I think she wants me to as well) but I don't think I can write a good enough second part so I'm just not going to spoil this :)

Enjoy~