"Okay, Andy. What's really wrong?"

Hyesung had gently pulled Andy aside to sit down on one of the benches with him as Dongwan rushed to the little cassette tape player in the corner of the practice room to turn off the music. The rest of the group crowded around Andy and Hyesung, worried looks painted on their sweat-glistened faces as they tried to comfort Andy in their own way. Morning practice had been a disaster- it's true that Andy wasn't the best dancer in the group, but he wasn't the worst either. He usually got the steps right and could follow along just fine, but that particular morning he kept making mistakes and disrupting the dance. Mistakes he (or even Dongwan and Hyesung) wouldn't usually make. Andy kept his lips pursed and opted to train his gaze straight to the ground before him, the only things in his view were the hardwood floor and Eric's feet as he was standing in front of him.

Andy was usually serious when it came to practice. Dancing wasn't a natural ability of his in the way it was for Minwoo and Jun Jin- he always needed to focus on learning the steps and practicing them intently in order to get them right. The members know this. He's usually lively and approachable with a ready laugh on normal days, but on practice days, he was a focused, no-nonsense person who made sure that he made no mistakes. While the others may be fooling around, he would be in a corner practicing, correcting, and polishing the choreography even during their supposed break times. Which is why it really worried the rest of the group when he didn't seem focused that morning.

Hyesung noticed that Andy was sitting tensely, both of his hands clenched into fists on top of his knees as he continued to stare at the hardwood floor as if intending to bore a hole into it. He remained silent. Hyesung reached out and tried to unclench Andy's right fist and intertwine their fingers, a gesture that was normal amongst them who were like brothers. Andy, thankfully, didn't resist; but he still refused to say anything.

"It's alright, Andy. Just tell us when you're ready, we're not going to resume practice without you. We're going to stay here until you're ready to speak, okay?" Hyesung's quite voice droned on, and though it seemed like Andy wasn't listening, he was actually listening more intently than ever. He had news, terrible news to break to them… but he didn't know how or in what way.

Eric silently sat down on the other side of Andy on the bench. Without saying anything, he pulled the younger man towards him, planting a soft kiss on top of his head. Eric was usually one of the first ones to abuse Andy when it came to roughhousing amongst them, but he knew how to comfort Andy (and his other members) in just the right way when he thought he needed it.

Andy took a deep breath and let out an anguished sigh, before closing his eyes and bowing his head into himself so that his hair obscured his face. The first sign of movement from him. Eric pulled away and peered at Andy's face, reaching forward to brush his hair away. He didn't resist. The members gasped when they saw his expression. He was crying. Andy, their precious, loving maknae, was crying. He didn't usually show his feelings even with them, his closest friends and brothers. Severely worried now, Minwoo kneeled in front of Andy to try to look straight at his face, reaching up with both of his hands to wipe the tears that kept on falling.

"Andy-ya… You're really worrying us right now. What is it? What's wrong? Just tell us. You know we're the last ones in this world who will judge you. Whatever it is… just tell us, okay? It's going to be alright." The tears kept falling. Minwoo's warm hands on his cheeks were a comfort for Andy, just as Hyesung and Eric and Dongwan and Jun Jin who were around him, but he just didn't know how to break the awful news to them. Hyesung squeezed his hand tighter. As comforted as he was, he knew he couldn't delay this any further. With another sigh, Andy removed Minwoo's hands from his face with his free hand, and claimed back his other hand from Hyesung as he withdrew into himself.

And with a quiet voice that he knew everyone could hear, he said the five words no one thought he would ever say. "I… I have to leave Shinhwa."

A deafening silence filled the room. Too shocked to say anything, the members all just stood or sat there, looking towards Andy for an explanation. And in a small voice, he gave them a simple one. "My mother… She's very sick. I have to go back to the U.S. and take care of her. I already talked to the higher-ups about this, and they agreed… You understand, don't you? I can't possibly continue on and be a member of Shinhwa and do music here, when my mother is dying in a foreign land… I have to do what I can to take care of her. I'm sorry… I'm really sorry…"

"It's fine, Andy." Jun Jin's firm voice suddenly broke the silence, which caused all five, including Andy, to look up at him. "It's fine. We understand. We'll wait for you to come back."

"I don't know if I'll ever come back… I don't know if I can ever come back. It… It just won't feel right. I already said I was leaving the group…"

"It won't feel right if you're not with us." Jun Jin declared, his voice thick with emotion, with resolve. "You'll always be a part of Shinhwa. Even if it takes you 10 years to come back… just come back, okay? We're practically your brothers, your family. And in a family, you always belong. Whether you like it or not."

The others agreed with no hesitation. Andy managed a slight smile.

"Thank you, hyung…" But despite Jun Jin's genuine words, he just didn't feel right about going back. He didn't tell them that, though. They didn't need to know.

Preparations were over in a week. Everything had to be done lightning fast. The announcement to the public was made, with the excuse that Andy was going to continue his studies in the U.S., which made quite a few devoted fans cry for days to come. It was clear that even to the public, Shinhwa will always be six. Even though Andy insisted he didn't want them to, the rest of the members got permission from their manager to skip practice that afternoon to bring him to the airport. They were now in front of the entrance to the boarding gate, and with the rest of the members not able to go in any further, they had to say their goodbyes then and there.

Everyone's eyes were filled with tears. The members held Andy back, finding any excuse for him not to leave yet, to just stay a little bit longer. Even though it was time, they couldn't let him go. They all said what they wanted to say in the week he was preparing, and while there was nothing else to say now, they still just couldn't let him leave. However, time was short, as reality came crashing back to them in the form of the lady's voice over the intercom. "This is the last call for passenger Lee Sunho-ssi, I repeat, passenger Lee Sunho-ssi, please board gate 12 immediately. Thank you."

"I have to go…" Andy had been trying his best not to cry, but now the tears fell freely. The rest of the members immediately, almost on autopilot, drowned him in the group hug they always do, hoping that their love for him will stay with him as he goes through this painful part in his life. Then they all pulled away and huddled in a circle, with Andy in the middle, as Minwoo put out his hand.

"Come on guys, one last time until Andy comes back." Everyone immediately knew what he was talking about as they all put their hands together. And in a loud voice, all united as one, they shouted, "SAN!"

Andy turned to go, tears still flowing freely, when he was grabbed on the wrist by someone. He turned around, and to his surprise, it was Dongwan. Dongwan had barely said anything to him throughout this whole ordeal, but he knew that's just the way he was, which is why he didn't think much of it. All of the members understood each other perfectly; Andy knew that Dongwan must be suffering inside, and he could just feel the care and love emanating from him even though he barely said or showed it. Which is why he was surprised when it was him that held him back, when he expected it to be one of the others instead.

"Andy-ya." Dongwan looked straight at him, his demeanor serious, though his eyes and face were glistening with fallen tears. "No matter what happens, you're still a part of Shinhwa. Return to us whenever you're ready… We'll be waiting, no matter for how long. Just remember that you always have a home to come back to. The doors are perpetually open for you. You'll always be our precious, loving maknae… and no one can or will ever replace you."

Andy thanked Dongwan and the members all said their last goodbyes… and finally, now alone, the last thing that Andy saw as he stepped beyond the boarding gate doors and see it close before him was his brothers, his family, all five waving at him with sad smiles on their faces.

_________________________

Thankfully, it wasn't too late. Andy had gotten to his mother's bedside just on time, and she was going to be alright, albeit incapacitated for who knows how long. The doctors don't have very high hopes, but her condition seemed to be improving and so they were willing to wait through the night to see if there will be any drastic improvements by morning. He sat by her hospital bed, just holding her hand, willing for him to be the very first person she sees when she finally wakes up from surgery. His eyes were puffy and he didn't have enough sleep, but he didn't care. At least his mother was somewhat far from danger now.

He sat just like that for hours, unmoving, not even standing up to eat or drink or anything. He continued to watch his mother, waiting for any signs of her waking up. Finally, after some time, she began to stir and slowly open her eyes, and as her vision adjusted, the very first thing she saw was the face of her beloved son smiling through his tears, hovering above her, just as Andy wished. She managed a small smile, attempting to speak through her oxygen mask.

"Su… Sunho-ya…"

"Shh, mom." Andy spoke in a subdued whisper, relieved that his mother had finally woken up. "I'm here. I'm not going to leave you."

With his mother finally awake, Andy felt a bit lighter than he did while she was undergoing surgery. He even managed to eat a few bites of a rice roll and drink some water in order to regain some of his energy. He thought of back home, of what the rest of the members must be doing right now, and immediately stopped that train of thought. He didn't want to think about them; if he did, the longing to come back to them will once again take over him. He couldn't go back just yet. He had to stay here in America in order to take care of his mother.

The next few months showed signs of improvement for his mother. By the second week of the second month, she was well enough to go without an oxygen mask and walk around with little assistance. Andy started to have hope, now that his mother was finally getting well. She was sitting on the hospital bed, peeling apples for herself and Andy to share, while they were both watching TV. Andy was flipping through channels in a bored manner while keeping up a casual, happy conversation with his mother (something he hadn't done for years), when he suddenly stopped. His mother peered over at him to see what made him silent, when she looked at the TV. Shinhwa. Performing as five, as usual, without him. Andy stared at the TV, not wanting to take his eyes off of it. He could be a part of that right now. He could be on that stage instead, singing and dancing and rapping until his lungs gave out, having fun with all his hyungs, interacting with his beloved fans.

But he also knew that Shinhwa was always meant to be six. And yet, there they are, performing as five, almost as if… almost as if they really were waiting for him. But it was impossible. He specifically told Soo Man, the CEO of SM Entertainment, that he was leaving the group because he didn't know if he could even come back. Surely a replacement for him would have been found by now. And it's not like s had any say in what happens- if Soo Man wants a member change, a member change will happen. And there's nothing they could do, even if they don't like such a situation.

Andy's mother watched him carefully, though Andy's expression when he was in deep thought was unreadable. There was one thing she was sure of, though: he needed to go back to Korea and be with Shinhwa. She always knew that this was a dream of his, ever since he went to Korea back then and got accepted to be a member of H.O.T, but they had forbidden him to go because he was too young. He was forlorn and seemed like he had lost his purpose at that time, but when he finally got to debut with Shinhwa, he sprang back up to life. She knew that he belonged with them, on that stage, where he could perform to his heart's content.

His mother gently grasped his hand, which seemed to bring Andy back to reality. Looking over at his mother, tears threatening to fall from his eyes, she merely smiled softly and caressed his cheek.

"Sunho-ya… I know you want to go back to them. You really should. I'll be fine here, the nurses will take care of me."

"No, mom." Sunho shook his head, forcing a smile on his face. "I'm fine. I told the CEO that I'm leaving Shinhwa for good since I didn't know when I could come back, and I knew that he always meant for Shinhwa to have 6 members. I couldn't selfishly hold on to a position I didn't even know I could come back to. Who knows, maybe my replacement will be even better at rapping than I am."

His mom's eyes twinkled with emotion, a knowing expression planted on her face. "That's not what I meant, Sunho. You belong with them. You're destined to be with them. It's obvious that no one can replace you in that group. You were clearly meant to be there. Remember when we forbade you to debut with H.O.T. back in 1996? We knew that there was something greater in store for you. And there is, and they're in Korea, waiting for you. The place as their maknae and rapper is yours and yours only to fill."

"That may be true, mom… but my real family comes first." Andy merely smiled sadly and patted his mother's hand, before turning off the TV and standing up. "I'm… going to get something to eat from the cafeteria. I'll be back." Without even waiting for his mother's reply, he walked briskly out of the room and shut the door behind him. Right now, he needed to be alone.

_________________________

"No." Strong, firm, resolved. That was the tone of Eric's voice as he refused to budge from where he was, daringly facing Soo Man and looking straight at him, a sign of rebellion.

"Sunho relinquished his position. He said he didn't know when he would be back. Don't you understand? I can't have you performing as five. You need another member. We can't just sit around and wait for him when we don't even know if he has any intentions to go back to Korea!" Soo Man argued, exasperated by this point. He and Eric had been exchanging arguments for nearly an hour now, but neither was willing to back down and accept the other's proposition.

"I refuse. We all talked about this. We're going to wait for Sunho to come back, no matter how long it takes. Even if it takes 10 years, we refuse to surrender his position because it's filled. He's coming back for it. Choongjae and I can handle the rapping just fine, if that's what you're worried about. The fans are still going crazy over our songs, even if it's just the five of us. And they, too, believe that Sunho is coming back. We promised them that he is, and they continue to hold that belief. We're not getting a new member, and that's final."

"Moon Jeong Hyeok." Soo Man declared in a warning tone, usually enough to put Eric back in his place again. But this time, that wasn't going to work. "If you continue to ignore me--"

Eric interrupted him, something he usually wouldn't even dare to do when Soo Man is using such a tone, but he was determined. Andy was going to come back, and they all believe that. He wouldn't have it any other way. "No. If you continue to ignore our wants, we won't take this sitting down. We'll terminate our contract, gladly pay the termination fee, and go to another company. You wouldn't want that with your best-selling group right now who's raking in all the money for you, do you?"

Soo Man slammed his fist on the table, standing up from his chair to glare at the younger. "Are you going to continue to defy me?!"

Eric didn't let his gaze back down. He stared straight into Soo Man's eyes, a complete act of defiance. "Yes." And with that, he his back and walked out of the room, leaving Soo Man to sink back down on his chair and scream in frustration.

"Get ready to terminate your contracts at any time. We're not attending the Music Tank rehearsal tonight, either. I'm not going to back down until Soo Man calms down and allows Andy to stay on." Eric declared the minute he walked into the practice room. The other four were sitting around, waiting for him anxiously. They all understood what they had to do. They couldn't let Andy be replaced. Nodding, they all packed their bags in silence and left, despite the many loud protests of their managers. When they're united in one resolve, no one can stop them. Not even Soo Man himself.

_________________________

Andy looked in horror at the slip of paper in front of him.

The bill was tremendous.

It was going to take almost all of his savings to pay them off. It was enough, and there was enough leftover to get them back to Korea, but he didn't know where to get the money to pay for his mother's continuous treatment. But one thing was for sure: there was no way they could continue treatment at this hospital, especially now that he's unemployed.

He knew that he had to go back. He had to go back to work, so that he could earn money to pay for his mother's hospital bills. But what could he do? He couldn't just go back to Shinhwa. He couldn't just interrupt them in the middle of their promotional activities and strut in as if nothing had happened, especially now that he told Soo Man he was leaving for good. And he couldn't just go and get a normal job either; people know who he is, and if rumors get out that he's trying to find a normal job, who knows what kind those rumors will be. He couldn't tarnish the name and image of Shinhwa, even if he's technically not a part of it anymore.

But he also knew that they couldn't stay in this hospital one more day. If they did, he wouldn't ever be able to pay off the debt in full.

Thankfully, his mother was well enough to travel already, but her treatment really needed to be continued in Korea. He swallowed hard, not sure where he was going to get the money (the last thing he would do is to ask s for help, they didn't need to know this situation), but he was going to get it somehow.

After spending 2 weeks to settle things and prepare for departure, they were finally ready to go. Andy's mother was ecstatic to go back, since she hasn't been back to her motherland for so long. Andy was happy as well, but not as enthusiastic as he wanted to be. After the uneventful plane ride, he was now back in Korea. Finally, his feet were treading Korean soil once more… he wasn't that far off from his group, his brothers, but it seemed as though he was thousands of miles away.

It took another week to get settled in. He found a hospital, a caretaker, and made sure that his mother was comfortable. He had also informed his grandmother of their arrival, so that she can check on his mother every now and then. With all of that settled, he left to go… but he didn't really know where to go to, since he knew that he couldn't just saunter back to the dorm. The last thing he wanted was for s to see him in such a condition. He settled for a small, apartment-room instead, one meant for students. It was affordable in his current situation, and no one knew where he was, which was all the better.

Sitting alone in his apartment-room that evening, Andy stared at his handphone. He so desperately wanted to hear one of his hyung's voices. It never showed on his face, but he missed them so much. He missed them right this moment more than he had missed them while he was still in America. 

He wanted to hear their voices, at least. Even if it's just one of them.

He dialed Hyesung's number, and patiently waited for an answer. After 3 rings, a groggy voice answered from the other line. "H'llo?" He forgot the time. It was around midnight now, but his body felt like it was only the afternoon. Stupid jet lag.

"Hyung…" He whispered into the receiver softly, swallowing back the tears that were starting to form again. He felt like a lost puppy. A jolt of surprise snapped him out of it though, as he heard crashing sounds on the other line. Andy was worried now, his voice frantic. "Hyung? Hyung! What happened?!"

Hyesung's ecstatic voice told Andy just how excited he was at that moment. "Andy?! Sunho?! Oh, our Sunho-ya! Is that really you?! Oh don't mind me, I just fell off the bed. Eric? Eric! Ya, Moon Jeong Hyeok! Wake up, you fool! Our Sunho is on the other line!!!" Andy could hear more crashing sounds (typical of Shinhwa to get out of bed noisily), inaudible voices, and Hyesung's loud footsteps as he practically woke up the whole dorm. He guessed he is probably on loudspeaker now as he could hear all five voices talking at once.

"Andy-ya! Our Sunho! Is that really you?!" Jun Jin.

"Ya, Lee Sunho! Now that you're in Korea, get your back here at the dorm right now!" Eric.

"Ya, you guys! Stop speaking all at once! Let him reply!" Hyesung.

"Our Sunho~ Our Andy~ You came back to usssss~ I knew you would come baaack~" Minwoo. How typical of him to sing, really.

"Andy-ya! Come back here so I can hug you!" Dongwan.

"Be quiet, you bastards! Minwoo, stop singing!" More Hyesung.

He could hear all of them. All five voices, so lively, so distinct. Even if they were speaking all at once and it was absolute chaos on the other line, he still knew and understood who was who. His best friends. His brothers. Oh, how he missed them and wished he could go back to them.

Sunho couldn't hold back his tears. He clasped his hand to his mouth to keep them from hearing that he was crying. He managed to compose himself as the noise died down on the other line though, and speak. "Hyung-deul… I missed you all so much. I'm back in Korea now, but I still have to take care of my mother… So I'm afraid I can't go back to you just yet."

"Just as long as you come back, we're happy. How's mom doing?" Hyesung had finally gotten hold of the situation again, the other four still crowding around him though silent now, listening to Andy, taking in his voice that they haven't heard for months.

"She's fine now… She's at the hospital, undergoing further treatment." He replied simply, offering no other explanations. He wasn't about to tell them that he was broke and alone and couldn't possibly pay for his mother's bills.

"That's good to hear, then. I-- HEY! Give that back!"

"Andy-ya. How are you? You don't need anything, do you? Just call one of us if you need help or anything. Even if we're in the middle of a performance, we'll come running to you." Eric (of course, he would be the only one who would steal the phone away from Hyesung without prior notice) declared from the other line, his voice shaky, obvious that he was trying not to cry.

Andy bit down on his lip, and unconsciously nodded. "I will, hyung."

The phone was passed down to Minwoo. "My precious baby Sunho~ When you come back here, I'm going to baby you to death. Do you hear me? I'm going to kiss you and hug you like there's no tomorrow and there's nothing you can do about it."

Andy couldn't help but smile. Though he used to hate (not really hate; more like find it bothersome) how Minwoo would just dote on him all the time and never leave him alone, he missed his over the top affections. He didn't think he would, but he did. 

"Andy-ya. Come back quickly, okay? I miss you. I want to see how you're doing. Just come after your mother's all settled, okay?" Jun Jin… he was awkward with him, that was true, but he still loved him like he loved the others.

"Sunho, I love you. We love you. Just remember that you have five hyungs here, anxiously waiting for your return. Your position is secured… We won't allow anyone except our one and only maknae to take it!" Dongwan, the ever eloquent member. He always knows just the right things to say, at the right time.

They all talked for quite a long time, until Andy was the first to let the call go. He was afraid he was going to miss them even more. The others protested, but they figured that Andy must be tired since it was nearing 1:30 am. They had been on the phone for almost an hour and a half, just talking about random things, catching up, the likes. After saying their goodbyes, Hyesung grabbed the phone again, and said the last words he would ever hear from them in a long time.

"Take care, Andy-ya. Always remember that we love you."

He spent the rest of that night hunched over the table, crying until he could cry no more.

_________________________

"Sunho has returned to Korea." Eric declared simply, still looking straight at his CEO, unmoving, defiant. He wasn't going to stop until he gets what he wants, and he wants a simple thing: to keep Andy on the team.

"That doesn't mean that he can come back. He has to take care of his sick mother." Soo Man replied back, equally as stubborn. Eric clenched his hands into a fist, thinking how he should handle this situation.

"There's no one you can find that can sufficiently replace Sunho. No one is as good at rapping in English as he is. In addition, he's well loved by the fans, even by non-fans, because he's the only person in our group who radiates a natural cuteness that girls these days are attracted to. I highly doubt you can find another man like that. Don't you understand? By replacing Sunho, you're putting our group in jeopardy. By doing a member change, you're risking the loss of our fans, and therefore, our profit; we made a promise to them, what will we look like if we don't keep that promise? They're going to think that we're not trustworthy people, and therefore leave us. Do you want that? Do you want us to suddenly stop being your biggest moneymaker?"

Soo Man contemplated for a few moments, leaving Eric anxious, though he didn't show it. After a few moments of thinking, he sighed deeply. "Very well. But I'm only giving him until the end of this year to come back. He needs to be present for your next album. I can't give him anymore than that."

Eric could hardly contain himself as he bowed stiffly, deeply. The others will be thrilled to hear about this decision. "Thank you! We'll make sure he comes back before then, don't worry. We won't fail you!" He all but ran out of the room and into the practice room, and as he entered, he punched the air in triumph as he relayed the news to s. Everyone was ecstatic, and with renewed vigor they resumed their practice, better than they've ever been before (though certainly not as good as when Andy was there).

But bringing Andy back wasn't as easy as it sounds. They did keep some semblance of contact with him, but because of their busy schedules promoting here and there, they couldn't contact him as often as they wanted to. And Andy was fine with that; s all think that he's still at the hospital, taking care of his mom, and living somewhere decent. But the reality was far from that. The reality that s will never know.

Months passed. Andy wasted away in his small room, only going out when completely necessary. And when he did go out, he put on a cap and a mask, to make sure that absolutely no one would recognize him. He was in such a disheveled state; his hair was long and in disarray, there were deep bags under his eyes, and he had no energy or determination to do anything. The only times he left his room were to go out and buy his vice at that moment: soju and aspirin. He had raging headaches, and he just couldn't sleep, and they were the only things that helped him.

His only contact with the outside world is the rare calls from any of the members, and the TV inside the common room. He had no TV of his own in the unit; there is one TV in what is called the lounge room, where the residents of the apartment-rooms gather at certain times to watch certain programs, such as news, sports, concerts, etc. When practically no one is around, Andy goes down sometimes to watch s promote and perform. It gave him little bits of comfort seeing them so hardworking and happy, but at the same time it hurts him as well since the one empty space that seems to linger noticeably there is where he rightfully belongs, and yet he can't claim it.

Until one day… he was in the common room, as usual, watching TV with all the other residents. They had long tolerated his presence and learned to leave him alone; they all knew that he only kept to himself and refused to interact with anyone. Someone was flipping channels and he wasn't really paying attention, when one of the channels caught his eye.

"Stop! Give me the remote!" Everyone was suddenly startled when he spoke through his mask, his arm outstretched towards the man who was holding said contraption. No one had never really heard him speak out before, and in the man's surprise, did what he said. Andy flipped the channels with renewed vigor, until he found it: the rest of the Shinhwa members, standing onstage, all blindfolded as the host was talking to them, and then people all around them waiting for a performance. There was only one program that would do such a thing: Guerrilla Concert.

The host directed a question towards Jun Jin. "I would just like to ask. It's been six months since you wanted to do this Guerrilla Concert. Why did you want to do it so badly?" What seemed like an innocent question coming from the host provoked very real, very painful tears from Jun Jin. Jun Jin, the last person he thought would cry over such a simple thing. Already, even though he hadn't yet heard what he said, he felt tears sting his own eyes. 's pain at that moment seemed to reach his heart, even though they were miles away. Jun Jin couldn't answer, couldn't speak, and one by one, they all fell into tears, which caused him to tear up as well. But he couldn't cry out, so instead he retreated to the corner of the room where he could still see the TV, yet keep to himself so that no one would notice him crying.

He wanted to cry out loudly and let it all out, to bolt out of there this instant, and to run to where they are to perform with them and assure them that he's alright and that he's coming back. But he couldn't do anything at this point. He couldn't do anything but watch them from behind a box so helplessly.

And then Minwoo's words came. "Jinnie, Dongwannie, Hyesung, and Eric who are here… and our beloved friend Andy who we wish was here with us. I want to spend the rest of my life with all of you. I love you."

The tears fall freely now. They fall down rapidly like a waterfall, soaking through his bangs, through his mask. He put a hand to his mouth to stop the sounds from coming out, not wanting anyone to notice why he was crying so hard. Suddenly, everything he went through that past year didn't feel significant anymore. The feeling of not wanting to go back because it would burden them, not wanting to talk to them because he didn't want to bother them… he suddenly felt silly for thinking such things. Here were s, his friends, his brothers, his family… who want him back so badly that they'd even go as far as to do such a thing just for him, even though they weren't sure if he even was going to see it. And he was glad that he did.

He called them more often after that time. He never failed to tell them just how much he appreciated the gesture. He wasn't eloquent with words and he knew this himself, but he knew the others understood his heart perfectly. Time passed, and the promotions for the fourth album had finally ended. Suddenly, his phone rang, and he got a call from someone he'd least expected.

"Andy-ya. Where are you?" Soo Man was on the other line. He sounded hurried.

"I… I'm at home." This was all he could reply, since he was still surprised and shocked that Soo Man himself would bother to check up on him.

"There's a fanmeeting right now. The last fanmeeting before the promotions for the fourth album fully end. You need to be present for it. Come here quick!"

Andy didn't need to hesitate. He knew just where he belonged. Taking note of the address, he quickly hurried and made himself as presentable as possible, before finally getting to the venue where Soo Man himself was anxiously waiting for him.

After exchanging a few greetings and smiles, Andy felt relieved. Relieved at the seeming normality of it all, as if he'd never been gone. He thought that he was going to have a hard, or at least an awkward, time when he met with Soo Man himself, because he'd been gone for so long and did say that he was going to leave for good. But before he even brought it up, Soo Man had declared nonsense, and said that he had never intended to terminate his contract and replace him.

He told Andy to wait by the side where he wouldn't be visible when Soo Man knocked at the door, and Eric opened it.

He entered with a smile. "Boys, I'd like you to meet your new member."

There was a look of shock and horror painted on everyone's faces. A new member? But they vehemently stated that they didn't want nor need one! Eric was about to protest, when Soo Man beckoned for Andy to enter, which he did.

"It's been so long, hyung-deul."

In normal situations, there would be some degree of shock or surprise or hesitation in a situation like this amongst all involved.

But this is Shinhwa. Shinhwa is never normal.

Without missing a beat, Eric all but pounced on their beloved maknae, giving him hugs and kisses like there was no tomorrow. Everyone gathered around the pair and all but suffocated Andy in their love, love that couldn't be expressed in so long.

Soo Man left quietly with a smile.

After the excitement had died down, Minwoo pulled Andy over to the stylists, though all the members never left his side. While the stylists were doing their best to make him look performance ready in such a small amount of time, Minwoo spent the time giving him a back rub, while Hyesung went to fetch his performance clothes from the rack.

"So that's what the extra clothes were for. I noticed they were Andy's size, but I never thought he would really come like this."

"The CEO can be sneaky sometimes. I almost had a heart attack when he said 'new member'." Eric declared with an amused shake of his head as he watched Andy, almost not believing that he was finally here with them again. It seems Soo Man knew all along that he was going to come back, after all. That sneak.

"Aigoo, Andy-ya… Don't you ever dare leave us again, okay? If you do, I'm really gonna die." Dongwan declared in a joking tone as he patted Andy's cheek. Andy nodded with a smile, though any more potential sentimental moments between them were cut short by an unexpected kiss on his cheek, courtesy of Jun Jin.

"Andy-ya~ I love you! I believe I don't ever say it enough!" Jun Jin formed a heart with his hands as he looked at Andy through the mirror, his smile reaching from ear to ear. Eric pounced on him and put him in a headlock while giving him a noogie, to which the younger violently protested.

"So it's only Andy you love! You don't love us anymore!"

"I say it to you hyungs everyday! I didn't say it to Andy yet!"

"Then say you love us too! Right now! Or I won't let you go!"

"No! I said it multiple times already!"

As their usual lively, noisy banter continued in the background, Andy let a smile stay on his features. The first genuine smile that ever crossed his face in months.

It felt like a dream that he was once again surrounded by the men he called brothers. Though there were obvious 'drawbacks' (such as Minwoo's smothering affections and everybody's endless whining about the schedules), he felt right at home again, and he knew there was no other place he'd rather be.

In a few minutes, they were called by the director of the show. They were about to go on in a few minutes.

Once again, Minwoo gathered everyone around in a circle, with Andy in the middle. They put out their hands on top of each other's, and shouted with passion and energy, louder than ever before, "SAN!"

Finally, Andy was back, just right where he belonged.

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A/N: WHEW. Finally done with that, woohoo! This was a very tricky fic to write since this is based on real life, but I finally managed to get it done. :D This is just my take on what could have happened back in 2001 when Andy left, and I did this fic as sort of an exploration of his inner struggles and all that jazz. Some of the events described here are true, according to what Andy revealed on Win Win (and the stuff with the Guerilla Concert is true as well). Hopefully I did him justice, though. xD I have also started Truth Within, so that should be done hopefully by tomorrow. Hope you guys enjoyed reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it! And special thanks to turntop-bigtop, because without her I never could have been inspired enough to even start this fic. Thank youuu <3