I was sitting in a cafe, reading the entries that were now in the journal.

Entry #2

Today, my uncle gave me a lecture about to just be myself. How his niece lived without her parents too. She was angry about how life wasn't fair. She did drugs and hung out with the wrong people...

I've learned my lesson now.

I don't have to change myself to please. Maybe I should just be myself, so I'll find out who'll be for me for who I am, and who'll leave me for who I am not.

I turned to the next page.

Entry #3

Self-harm was... An unpredictable thought.

I mean, back in sixth grade, me and my "best friend" thought the depression and suicide stuff were cool. The two of us wore all black every single day, and we would draw lines on our wrist with pen, wash the ink away and it'll become all swollen and it'll look like scars.

seventh grade, my "best friend" left me. We didn't say goodbye, nor did she tell me. The day I found out, I cried hopelessly. I thought I needed to die, because there was no reason to live anymore without her...

But then again... I met more people...

She did... Self-harm...

She cut herself?!

How come I didn't notice?

Well... She always wear long sleeves, and never prefer short sleeves.

I flipped through the pages.

Entry #6

Dreams. Some are good dreams while some are bad dreams, while some are bad dreams. What I dream about every night... I'm not sure if it's good dream or a nightmare.

All dreams I've had, always contains me dying in some painful way. It's either that, or no dreaming at all.

I always lie to my friends that I'm dreaming about me and my bias, living happily ever after together.

You know the saying "Dreams can come true, if you believe in it." or something like that. If I believe that I'll die someday... Will it come true?

That... Was such a depressing entry. Who dreams of themselves dying in some painful way?

I shook my head and flipped through the pages again.

But... Something caught my eye.

There was a crooked man

and he walked a crooked mile.

He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.

He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse.

And they all lived together,

In a little crooked house.

Then he had a crooked thought:

"Why is crookedness my lot?

Why must I be crooked, instead of being not?"

So the crooked man would cry,

and he couldn't fathom why.

He was sad all the time, and he sighed...

And SO HE

Was this a nursery rhyme? 

Such a depressing one too.

But she didn't finish it. She probably needed one more word.

What rhymes with 'sighed' and a depressing word?

I'll figure it out later.

I turned the next page.

I'm hopeless.

I keep walking, but I see nothing.

I'll never be happy.

I'M THE CROOKED MAN

No matter what, that's what I'll be.

And those are the only things I'll have.

Living... Is agony...

Nothing will go how I want it...

The next page.

Entry #7

Don't mind the last two pages.

It was just part of a game that I played...

So I decided to write it down.

It just reminded me of... Me

Accept, I'm a girl.

Entry #8

All I wanted  to do is fall asleep in your arms.

But THEY'RE keeping me from doing so...

I'm sorry

What?

Whose keeping you from doing so?

Entry #9

I just can't believe there are cruel people in the world.

I hate him.

I hate him for saying that I'm cheating on him with my best friend.

It's not my fault! I mean... I do pinch his cheeks, have various fights with him and like... Do everything with him (not everything)

He's my best friend...

That's all...

Nothing... Else...

Her best friend?

She's talking about Byunghun right?

Why are people saying that she's cheating on me with him?

She wouldn't do that to me.

And if someone were to tell me that she was cheating on me, I wouldn't believe it one bit, because Aera loves me too much to cheat on me.

I turned to the last page of her entries.

Help me...

They're at my apartment.

They're trying to get in.

They're going to take me away.

They're going to use me.

Someone... Help me...

Chanhee...

Help me....

I'm sorry I broke up with you.

I didn't want you involved with this, so this was the only thing that I had to do.

But please... If you love me...

Please find me...

There were dry tear stains on it.

Not long ago.

There was an address attached to the page.

I grabbed the journal and ran.

The place was nearby.

I can make it.

Aera... Wait for me...