When Luhan steps into the arcade that he and his friends normally hangout in, he is welcomed by flashing lights, upbeat music, and his own friends’ voices rising high above the cacophony of noise. Yixing is battling Jongin at DDR and Japanese female voice keeps shouting out “greats” and “perfects”.

Luhan looks to the right and sees Kris with Baekhyun playing House of the Dead. A chuckle rolls off Luhan’s tongue when he hears Baekhyun shrieking every time a zombie appears in front of him and then there’s rapid clicking as Baekhyun pulls the trigger repeatedly.

His eyes roam around the rest of the room, looking for his other two friends, one of them in particular though. The first person he finds is Tao who happens to be playing an intense game of Whack-a-Mole. Luhan begins walking around the rowdy arcade, wondering where in the world Sehun is.

It doesn’t take him long to find out when he feels a sudden, intense pain in his abdomen. He lurches forward, clutching at his stomach and groans loudly before balancing himself with one knee on the ground. Sehun’s voice sounds close, right next to his ear in fact, and he’s apologizing profusely.

“Oh , I’m sorry Luhan. I didn’t see you there,” Sehun blubbers, panicking present in his tone. He places the skee ball in his hand back into the rack and kneels beside Luhan, trying to catch a glimpse of his face. “Are you alright?”

“I-it’s fine. I’m okay,” Luhan manages to say albeit his voice quivers. He feels rejuvenated when Sehun slides his arm around his waist and holds one of his arms firmly in order to help him to his feet. It’s saddening when Sehun lets him go and Luhan almost lets out a sigh of disappointment.

“Are you sure though? I didn’t hit you, umm, there, did?” Sehun points to Luhan’s lower regions and his cheeks flush in embarrassment.

“No! I mean, no it’s okay. You hit me in the abs. But don’t worry, I’ve got abs of steel,” Luhan replies, flustered at first but then impresses himself by adding in a joke.

It’s a success because Sehun laughs and his lips form into a beautiful smile that steals Luhan’s breath away. “You’re pretty funny sometimes. Funnier than Yixing,” Sehun says and Luhan decides that it’s a compliment.

“Thanks.” Luhan’s cheeks are hurting from smiling so widely and he must look like the Cheshire cat but he doesn’t care because he is so happy he wouldn’t mind dying at that moment. Okay, not really but he is pretty damn happy.

“No problem. You wanna play with me?” Sehun gestures to the skee ball game still running and hands Luhan one of the balls. “Maybe we can get a new high score!”

Now, Luhan definitely won’t pass up this opportunity. He grins and clutches the ball in his hand. “Sure!”

Sehun moves aside to give Luhan room to aim and throw. Luhan stands at the ready, poised to get the ball into the top left corner so he can score a hundred points and impress Sehun. He swings his arm and releases the ball, watching it roll up the ramp and hit the top before falling into the bottommost hole, earning him a whopping ten points.

His head droops in shame and he’s much too embarrassed to look at Sehun so he gazes at his hands. “Sorry. I at this game,” he mumbles dejectedly.

And it’s true. Skee ball is the one game that Luhan doesn’t excel in and it’s always been a sore spot for him especially since Kris and Baekhyun about it incessantly.

“That’s alright. You want me to help you?” Sehun offers. “See, your technique is a little awkward but I can fix that.”

Before Luhan can answer, Sehun plops another ball into his hand. He takes Luhan’s hand into his own, his fingers lightly gripping onto Luhan’s, and stands behind him. Sehun’s chest is just barely pressing into Luhan’s back as he extends Luhan’s arm back and then forward a few times, demonstrating the proper skee ball technique.

“It’s like this,” Sehun says as he swings Luhan’s arm forward. “So, do you get it?”

“Y-yeah. I think I got it,” Luhan stammers.

“Pfft, Sehun and Luhan sitting in a tree,” Baekhyun suddenly sings out of nowhere. Their other friends congregate magically, joining along in the old rhyme.

“K-I-S-S-I-N-G,” they chant and Luhan turns on them with the ball wielded in his hand.

“Shut up! Dammit!” Luhan curses and threateningly swings the ball around. He narrowly misses Jongin’s head and comes just a hair away from socking Kris in the throat. Baekhyun hides behind Tao who smirks and stares Luhan down with his assassin-esque eyes.

Backing up from fear of getting strangled, Luhan hits something solid and turns to find himself in Sehun’s arms again somehow. He blushes furiously because his other friends explode with laughter and Sehun merely half-smiles. Luhan stumbles forward then and accidentally steps on Yixing’s foot who yelps and jumps back in surprise. He crashes into Kris and they both fall onto the ground. The laughter turns on them and Luhan sighs with relief, out of the spotlight.

“Excuse me, but could you guys quiet down? You’re disturbing the other customers,” a stern voice cuts through the laughter. Luhan and the others face this newcomer and Luhan fights to keep his jaw from dropping.

It’s the guy who was staring at him during lunch today.

And at that moment, his eyes are fixed on Luhan yet again. It’s as if icicles are being run up and down Luhan’s spine and he shivers unwillingly. He looks away but the feeling of this stranger’s eyes on him doesn’t go away.

“Oh, sorry,” Kris responds from the ground. He pushes Yixing off of him before standing up and helping him to his feet.

“Good,” the guy states and turns on his heels.

“Wait! Aren’t you from our school?” Baekhyun asks and the guy halts. “You’re…Kim Jongdae, right?”

The guy slowly spins around and glares at Baekhyun. “Yeah. What’s it to you?” he hisses.

“How are you doing?” Everyone is puzzled when Baekhyun asks this, even Jongdae whose expression changes just slightly, his eyebrows rising a bit.

“F-fine,” Jongdae replies curtly before scurrying away in a flash. They watch him go behind the counter and talk with a customer.

“What was that about?” Tao says, eyeing Baekhyun.

“He’s that kid’s brother, well stepbrother,” Baekhyun shrugs as if that makes perfect sense.

“Whose stepbrother?”

“Kim Minhyuk’s,” Baekhyun answers.

“I still don’t think that’s his name,” says Kris.

Luhan tilts his head in confusion but then it hits him. He’s talking about the student who committed suicide. Luhan stares at Jongdae and watches him conversing with a customer. It’s impossible to tell that Jongdae is the brother of someone who just passed away because he really shows no indication of sorrow. Suddenly, Jongdae meets Luhan’s gaze and Luhan is paralyzed.

Jongdae’s eyes turn cold and he averts his gaze as if he is disgusted by the mere sight of Luhan’s face. It’s confusing, the way Jongdae disregards Luhan. But, he concludes that Jongdae is one piece in this puzzle. His stepbrother is another and the big pieces are the note and feather. His gut squirms as he thinks things over and he is getting more and more anxious about where these clues will lead him and whether or not he wants to reach the end.

A gentle tap on his shoulder yanks Luhan from his mad mind scramble and he faces Sehun who is gazing at him with a raw sincerity that flushes all other thoughts from Luhan’s mind.

“Sehun is something wrong?” he asks warily.

“Can I talk to you for a second, in private?”

“Uh, sure.”

Grasping Luhan’s wrist, Sehun tugs him into a secluded corner of the arcade where the less popular games are. They stand stock still, about a foot separating them, and Sehun is holding onto Luhan still. He hesitates before uncurling his fingers and letting Luhan’s hand drop to his side. Luhan’s eyes are glued to his hand, the cool touch of Sehun’s fingers lingering on his skin.

“Umm,” Sehun starts off, “do you wanna hang out tomorrow?”

“Okay, where are we going? Did you tell the others yet?” Luhan responds and realizes he must have said something wrong because Sehun’s mouth opens and closes as if he’s trying to clarify but doesn’t know how to put it into words.

“Well…”

Luhan thinks he knows where this is headed but he really doesn’t want to get his hopes up so he patiently awaits Sehun’s next words, his heart steadily beating faster and faster.

“…I kinda wanted it to be just the two of us. You know? We haven’t hung out together without the others in a while,” Sehun mumbles. It’s hard for Luhan to catch his words but he’s practiced at this, at the way Sehun becomes less coherent when he’s nervous or shy.

“O-oh. Of course! Yeah, that sounds like fun,” Luhan replies. He can’t help the butterflies fluttering around his gut.

“Really?” Sehun’s lips begin curling up and Luhan couldn’t be happier. He nods and finally there is a full-fledged smile on Sehun’s face. “Great! So, I guess I’ll text you about it tonight.”

“Yeah, sounds good,” Luhan beams back at him.

There’s an awkward moment where neither of them know what to do. Should they go back to their friends together or go one at a time? It’s a funny exchange of Sehun taking one step away while Luhan does the same, then they both take a step back and glance at each other with shy chuckles escaping them. Finally, Sehun takes a few bold steps forward and gestures at Luhan to follow and they both head back to their friends together.

Yixing and Jongin are engaged in an intense race, sitting in their seats, feet slamming the accelerators down, hands gripping the wheel, and faces scrunched in concentration. The others have chosen sides; Kris on Yixing’s of course, Tao and Baekhyun on Jongin’s. They barely glance up to greet Sehun and Luhan when they come over, just nodding in acknowledgment.

Luhan stands beside Kris and watches Yixing’s screen, smiling widely but not because Yixing is winning. He’s smiling because his conversation with Sehun has sunken in now and he thinks his heart might implode from joy. He sees Sehun standing in between Jongin and Yixing, cheering both of them on and Luhan takes the look of excitement on Sehun’s face and stores it away in his mind for a rainy day.

He might like being with Sehun alone but he also loves how happy Sehun is when they’re with their friends.

After a riveting race, they decide to make this a tournament to see who will be crowned champion. Yixing reigns victorious in his match with Jongin and the next person to step up is Tao. He sends Yixing a smirk and they exchange taunts before the race starts.

All of their attention is on the tournament; even Luhan forgets his anticipation for his date with Sehun tomorrow to participate in this intense competition. Yixing loses to Tao and Kris takes his place, vowing to avenge Yixing who scoffs and smacks Kris in the back of the head. Kris fails, as Luhan expected, and he sits in front of the wheel.

Luhan has never driven a real car before but he can definitely work an arcade racing game. He goes undefeated until he’s up against Sehun.

“Sorry Luhan but I’m not going easy on you so you better not go easy on me,” Sehun declares as they wait for the “go”.

“Oh don’t worry, I wasn’t planning on it,” Luhan states and they’re off, racing through the pixilated world.

It’s a close race but Sehun comes out on top in the end and Luhan sighs at his defeat. However, the big grin on Sehun’s face makes it up to him and he feels alright, if not happier than how he would be if he had won.

To celebrate Sehun’s victory, they decide to buy ice cream. The rowdy group of friends makes their way out of the arcade and Luhan finds himself at the back somehow. Right before he reaches the exit, a hand lands on his shoulder and squeezes it. Luhan grimaces because whoever is holding him isn’t being kind about it. The tips of their fingers dig into Luhan’s shoulder almost as if they want to break it.

Luhan freezes, unable to utter a word to his friends about his dilemma or even to tell this person to let him go. Nobody notices though, and Luhan watches his friends head down the road without him. He hopes at least Sehun will realize he’s gone but sadly, he doesn’t and Luhan stares after them until they’re out of sight.

Regaining his voice, Luhan stutters, “W-what do you want?”

“We need to talk,” the stranger replies and Luhan recognizes the voice as Jongdae’s.

“Alright, but could you please let go of my shoulder?” Luhan says. He doesn’t know why Jongdae hates him so much and it’s really starting to bother him. He’d like to ask outright but then again, he’s never been good at being bold.

“Fine. Just follow me.” Jongdae releases Luhan’s shoulder and begins trudging away. Luhan moves his shoulder up and down with relief before trailing after Jongdae.

They come to a stop in between the Pac-Man machine and the crane machines with Jongdae leaning against the glass of the closest crane machine. Luhan stands across from him, by the Pac-Man machine and waits.

Jongdae says nothing for several minutes. He merely taps his fingers on the glass and shifts his weight from one hip to the other. His expression is neutral, his eyes blank, and his lips pursed. When his eyes flicker to Luhan’s face, they flash with contempt and he prepares to speak. Luhan almost gulps with nervousness but composes himself right on time.

“Do you know Kim Minseok?” asks Jongdae.

“No, sorry. The name doesn’t sound familiar to me,” Luhan apologizes. He really thought about it too, racking his brain for any recollection of a person named Kim Minseok but nothing came to mind.

“I didn’t think you would,” Jongdae says bitterly. Luhan cannot comprehend Jongdae at all. He can’t understand his anger and frustration; his hatred for Luhan, his bitterness, no matter how hard he tries Luhan just doesn’t get it.

“He was my stepbrother. My mom married his dad three years ago. We didn’t get along at first. For one year, we never said a word to one another except at the dinner table when we were forced by our parents. I didn’t hate him. I was just afraid,” Jongdae says. Luhan wants to know why he’s telling him this and what exactly Luhan has to do with everything but he listens quietly.

“I was afraid that my mom would forget about my real dad and the perfect family we had before he passed away. I thought she was trying to replace it and I didn’t want that. So naturally, I didn’t want to get along with Minseok. He felt the same and things were fine the way they were. We kept our distance and didn’t bother one another.

“Things changed though. They always do. His father grew ill and had to be hospitalized. Before, my mother stayed at home and cared for the house while my stepfather worked. But after that, she found a job at a pet store. For some reason, we thought it was a miracle at the time; the owner gave up the deed to the store to my mother. Minseok worked with her and I did too occasionally.

“From then on, Minseok and I got closer. It wasn’t some big revelation. One day we just started talking while we were washing the dogs.” Jongdae chuckles then and Luhan sees an emotion cross his features that he’s never seen on him before. It’s as if Jongdae is reliving a cherished memory known only to him. He seems to remember that Luhan is there and the nostalgic look disappears just as easily as it came. “Anyways, for the next two years up till now we struggled together. I learned that Minseok wasn’t that bad of a kid. In fact, we had a lot more in common than I thought. Although, Minseok was always the nicer one. The animals at the pet store always flocked to him when we came. The customers liked him better. Hell, I liked him more than myself.”

Jongdae heaves a sigh now and he looks so broken that Luhan feels an urge to say something comforting but he bites his tongue and keeps it to himself. A gut feeling tells him that Jongdae won’t accept any form of comfort Luhan might give him. Yet, no gut feeling could prepare Luhan for Jongdae’s next words and the weight they drop into his heart.

“But now, Minseok’s dead and it’s all because of you.”

Luhan’s heart falls into his stomach and then he feels sick, as if he’s going to vomit both of them out. He wants Jongdae to explain, to tell him why Minseok’s death has anything to do with Luhan but it feels like his lungs are stuck in his throat and he can’t breathe let alone talk. Jongdae can see Luhan’s distress but he doesn’t acknowledge it. He merely gets up and leaves Luhan with those last echoing words.

Luhan has a million questions and not one answer for any of them. He stumbles around, trying to find Jongdae but he’s disappeared behind the employee’s only door. Luhan is about to pound on the door when a hand grabs his wrist and gently pulls it down. He is tugged out of the arcade before he can catch up with what’s happening.

“Come on Luhan! We were wondering where you went,” Sehun’s voice floats into Luhan’s ears. He must have seen the state of horrified shock Luhan is in but he doesn’t say anything and merely slips his hand into Luhan’s and gives it a tender squeeze. The gestured does not comfort Luhan though. It’s like a pressure in the back of his mind that he knows is there but does not consider it important.

Luhan doesn’t know when Sehun slipped his favorite ice cream bar into his hand and he wouldn’t have known it was there at all if it hadn’t started melting all over his hand. He absentmindedly eats it as Sehun supports him because honestly, Luhan can’t feel his legs right now. The act of eating is merely a distraction for Luhan to keep his mind off Jongdae’s daunting accusations but it is failing him. He continues to drown because of those words.

Even when the pair is reunited with their friends who immediately crack jokes and tease them, Luhan barely fakes a smile. He deceives them and they don’t question anything. The only one who knows is Sehun who gives Luhan the liberty of escaping his friends’ concern just this once. Luhan senses Sehun’s urgency though, his soft fretting over Luhan that no one notices.

But, Luhan is weary and worn down, wanting nothing more than to curl up under his sheets and shut his mind off. Salvation comes at the right time because three of Luhan’s friends are contacted by their parents and told to return home. They part ways until only Sehun, Jongin, Kris, and Luhan are left. Sehun stands and gazes softly at Luhan, not moving an inch.

“What are you waiting for Sehun? Let’s go,” Jongin prods Sehun.

Sehun stares at Luhan a bit longer, reluctant to leave, yet he walks away with Jongin in the end. Kris stretches and yawns, slinging an arm around Luhan’s shoulders and leading them back home.

Surprisingly, Kris remains silent and they tread home under that hollow void of sound except for the occasional dog barking or car passing by. Luhan wishes Kris would say anything to fill the chasm and distract him from his thoughts but he gets no reprise.

They bid their farewells again at Luhan’s gate but it’s much different for Luhan than before. This time, he knows the note and feather are waiting for him and he’s managed to conclude that Minseok sent them to him. Now, all Luhan needs to know is the why.

Back inside his room, Luhan lies in bed with the feather in one hand and the note resting by his head on the pillow. He recites the note in his head because he’s memorized it already while trailing his fingers over the smooth, tawny feather. Luhan promises to figure out this mystery tomorrow but also feels like he’s forgetting something else. It’s hard to remember anything that happened earlier that day because all Luhan can think of is his conversation with Kim Jongdae.

His sleep is restless that night, haunted by a faceless boy named Kim Minseok and Jongdae’s voice telling Luhan he is to blame for his untimely death.