Is it really going to end like this? Every second that ticks by brings me closer to the end. Am I really going to die alone locked inside my own head? I want to get out. I want to be free from the chains that have held me captive for so long. I don’t want to end like this. I only have a few days left. I looked across the room. He was standing by the window looking out at the trees. Suddenly something clicks in my head. I will not be your slave, I have the right to be free. ‘you have no choice’ she replied, I cringed at the raspy voice in my head. ‘you were born with me, so you will never be free, that is till you die.’ She laughed, a harsh, scratchy, cruel laugh. I was shaking. No, I will not let you control me, Get out of my head. ‘you think you can get rid of me that easily? Ha. You can’t’ I am going over there and you cant stop me no matter how hard you try. I stood. ‘you wouldn’t dare disobey me.’ I would. ‘but I can haunt your dreams, do you want to see me again?’ My mind filled with images of a grotesque half human half animal covered in scares and open bleeding wounds. I blinked hard trying to hold back the tears of fear and hatred No. but your not going to stop me this time. I walked over to the window. ‘I’m going to kill you for this’ she hissed. I’m gonna die as is so how does it matter? And when I die you’ll die to. There was silence in my head, had she gone? Had I done it? He looked at me and smiled “hello” he said. “hi” I said quietly. “your Yoomi right?” I nodded. “uh-hu, we’ve been coming to the same school for the last three years and I … well… it…um… er we’ve never actually met…” “we did once but you had a head ache so you left.” “oh yeah, head ache… right.” “hey do you like ice cream?” “yeah, why?” “you wanna go get some with me?” “sure” I smiled, it felt funny, but pleasant, then I realized this was the first time in my life I’d ever smiled. “I’m Niel by the way.” “I know” We walked down streets and through allies, I had no idea where we were, and frankly I didn’t care, I was with the boy I’d been secretly stalking for the last three years, we were talking and I hadn’t scared him away with my weirdness yet. We talked the whole way there then we got ice cream and talked some more (who knew we had so much in common) when we finished our ice cream he asked “do you know how to roller blade?” “no” I replied. “do you want to learn?” “Yes.” He smiled, there was something else behind that smile, something I couldn’t name. we walked to the skate park and rented some skates “you know this is the first time I’ve ever been anywhere outside of school or my house.” “really?” he asked. “why?” “well I’ve never had a friend before and I was always afraid to go out alone.” “well now you have me.” I tied my laces, then he grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the smooth pavement. I looked at our hands intertwined and blushed, he glanced back at me and smiled. 

We spent the rest of the day skating and talking, but that night my dreams were haunted by the creature who I had begun to call Arachnae (even though there was nothing spider about her) She chased me endlessly through the halls and corridors of the deepest reaches of my mind. When morning finally came I was beyond terrified. I dressed Quickly and ran the whole way to school. I was Just on the brink of a mental explosion when the bell rang. I ran out of the room, through the hall and out the back door once outside I found a bush that was far enough from the wall that I could fit between and started sobbing uncontrollably, A minute later I felt a hand on my shoulder. I looked up and Niel wrapped his arms around me. I cried into his shoulder for half an hour. When my tears subsided Niel asked “will you tell me what’s wrong?” “I would but you’d be afraid of me, you’re the first friend ever had and I don’t want to lose you because of a stupid mental condition!” “I won’t be afraid and I won’t leave you. Just tell me, I can handle it.” He let go and smiled. “I have a rare mental condition there have only been three other recorded cases in the world. I have another person in here.” I pointed to my head. ”who has been holding me prisoner inside my own head and every time I try to get out she does something to try and stop me, like the first time I ever tried to talk to you, the head ache, it wasn’t a head ache she threatened to take away the last bit of free will I had if I talked to you, so I faked. And yesterday she said she’d haunt my dreams if I talked to you, and last night-” I burst into a fresh bout of tears. He took my hand in his, wiped my tears and said the best thing anyone could had said to me, “you don’t scare me.” I blinked trying to compute what he had just said. “really?” I asked. He nodded. I smiled so hard my face hurt. “you know yesterday was the first time in my life I’d ever smiled. It feels nice.” “wait you’ve never… you…No Way…WOW! Ok starting now I will not allow you to frown, I will also make you smile so much that it will make up for all the smile time you’ve lost, come on.” He pulled me to my feet and dragged me around the building and down the street. After nearly five minutes of me asking and him not telling me where we were going we walked up to the entrance of an amusement park. “this is where were going.” He said grinning. “WOW.” I said. 

We spent the whole day there and it wasn’t till 8:00 PM that I got home. 

“I have three more days.” I thought as I drifted off to sleep. The next two days passed, they were the best days of my life, I knew that if I really did die these would be the memories I’d look through every day in heaven. Niel and I hung out after school, we wen’t and did all the things I had never even dared to hope I’d do someday, I don’t know how in such a short time we managed it but we became completely inseparable best friends. And then it happened, the thing I’d been dreading.

We were walking through the park talking about tree’s and how sad it was that the leave’s were green and not blue or purple, when I suddenly felt dizzy. I stopped. Niel looked back at me, a worried expression on his face. “are you ok?” he asked. I trembled, I tried to answer but before I could speek everything went black.

NIEL POV

“are you ok?” I asked. She trembled, I was by her side in an instant, as she collapsed I was able to catch her. she was way lighter than a girl of her age should have been. I carried her to the hospital, then called her parents. Five minutes later they were in the waiting room with me. “you must be Niel.” Her dad said. “yeah I am, is she ok?” I asked. Her mom burst into tears. “she didn’t tell you?” her dad asked. “tell me what?” “she has A rare mental condition and another equally rare disease.” “she told me about the mental condition but not the other one, what does the disease cause?” “it’s… terminal, she won’t be coming out of that hospital room alive.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, but then she would never tell me something like that, she wouldn’t want me treating her like she was gonna die, and she wouldn’t have wanted me to be upset. I could feel tears streaming down my face, I never got the chance to tell her how I feel, just what she men’t to me, ho much I care, now I guess I never will. Her mom handed me a scrap of paper. “she told me to give you this.”

Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, thank you for being my hope, my sweet release, I Love You.

~Yoomi