Hyukjae sat on their bed in silence. The words he hoped to tell Heechul never following after his thoughts. He knew how she felt. When he saw Hangeng take away a bloody Donghae his heart stopped. And even more when Heechul told him in very graphic details that Donghae was in that condition because of him. That he sacrificed himself with all the powers he had left, to save him. To save a man that had lied to him countless times and left him alone to fight against the world, and himself. To save a man that had forgotten all about his existence and stabbed himself instead of doing something else just like the coward he was. Was. He could never be that way again.

Not after he heard the commontion downstairs.

He was going to beg and apologize to Heechul, but it was over when he heard Hangeng speaking of an amnesiac Donghae who would never remember him again. And selfishly for a second he thought it would be better that way. That maybe they could start over and all would be well.

But then the Angel on his shoulder, that was no longer Donghae told him to face up to what he's caused, and that's where he's been all this time. Sitting on his bed....thinking. Thinking about how he could get Donghae to be his and only his. Yet, it would never be.

But then again, he fell for him once, it could happen again right? Wrong. It could never happen. Maybe Heechul would try to keep Hyukjae away, after all, it was he who had almost killed him. If he could kill an Angel, couldn't he more easily kill...a human? Human, his mind processed that word to mean the same as him, worthless. How could someone like Donghae be human? He was too good, too flawless to simply be human. Just the word next to his name made Hyukjae scowl at himself. 

Angrily, he yanked at his hair and shouted, "STUPID, STUPID ME! WHY!! WHY!!" and looked towards the bathroom door which was open in their shared bedroom with a razor peeking from atop the sink as if telling him to do everyone a favor and kill himself.

Hanchul hearing the commotion, ran upstairs to Eunhae's room, but as Hangeng turned the knob it was locked.

"HYUKJAE! OPEN UP!" Hangeng yelled while banging against the door.

In his trance he could imagine Heechul telling his lover how much of a waste he was. How because of him Donghae would never be Donghae again, but the shell of him. So he walked towards the bathroom, eyes glazed. His mind had already shut down when it agreed with his thoughts.

Heechul on the outside could feel something omnious occurring. She held Hangeng's arm to stop him as he yelled at her "WHAT?". She stayed silent, but being one's mate meant you could feel what the other felt, and when it hit him, boy did it hit him hard, and he pulled her to the side to break down the door.

As he damn near broke the door off it's hinges, he rushed inside searching frantically as Heechul quietly walked to the closed bathroom door. "Hyukjae?" She knocked. "Hyukjae are you in there?"

"Chullie-"

"No. No. I won't accept it. He's going to open this." She knocked harder. "Hyukjae! Don't do this to me. Not now. Please. Please open up. Geng please he's fine. I-he has to be."

He looked at her with eyes full of despair. "No don't-"

He kicked the door open and what they saw stunned them...

a/n: there's the double update~