This wasn’t working. Jaehyo wasn’t listening anymore; he was too angry with Minhyuk, too angry with Kyung. Too angry at everything and everyone who had wronged him. Minhyuk glared at him as Jaehyo stood panting loudly, his hand red and bruised from assaulting the wall. He was nowhere near calm, but at least he was done screaming. Minhyuk had to say something. Not to calm him down, but to put some reason into him.

“It was an accident,” he murmured, “and it was no one’s fault, especially not Kyung’s.”

“If he hadn’t been with Jiho…if he hadn’t gotten sick or crazy or whatever you want to call it, Jiho would still be alive and –” he was cut off by his own sob, and he slowly sunk to the floor. Minhyuk watched him, his expression softening. “It’s not fair. It’s not fair- why does he still get to see him?”

The older man shook his head. He couldn’t believe how selfish Jaehyo was being. He was so self-centered at times that it made Minhyuk want to scream. “You’re ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous!” Jaehyo looked at him with squinted eyes. “You say that like he has a choice. What makes you think he wants this? Jiho is not a ghost that's visiting him to keep him company. Kyung is sick, this whole thing is sick. You're even sick for blaming him! He doesn't want any of this, Jaehyo. You make him feel guilty enough.”

“No, I don’t. He still doesn’t even know, does he?”

After that, no one said anything. There was nothing left to say without starting another screaming match. Minhyuk helped his shaking boyfriend into his bedroom, wiped the tears from his eyes, and watched him cry himself to sleep in his arms. As pathetic as it was, his heart was hurting. Jaehyo had once been nearly completely broken, and Minhyuk had hoped he could help him. But it was no use. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how much love he gave, he could still see the cracks.

“We should take a break.”

Minhyuk had thought about it for several days after the house party, but he couldn’t see any other way of handling this. They had barely spoken in three days, and they both knew the reason why. He didn’t want to leave Jaehyo, and he wouldn’t. Not completely. This was the only way he knew how to help now.

Jaehyo stared at him with sad eyes and only said one thing. “Why?”

“It’s just…it’s too soon. I can’t do this, you can’t do this. It was stupid to think that we could.” Minhyuk couldn’t read the other’s expression at all. He thought there was sadness in his eyes – as there should be, he thought – but the rest of his face was blank. Dry.

Jaehyo sighed and pushed his plate away from him with the food only half-eaten. He stared at it as if he was contemplating something. When he finally looked up, there was finally some hint of what he was feeling. He shot Minhyuk a calm, yet bitter grimace.

“So. Now you’re leaving me too?”

“No,” he replied as he moved to the other side of the table and grabbed Jaehyo’s hand. He was glad when the other didn’t pull away. “I love you. You know that. But this can’t…this won’t happen until you come to terms with this.”

A heavy lump grew in Minhyuk’s throat when Jaehyo snatched his hand away and stood to his feet. He tried to get him to stay, or at least understand that he still wanted to help him, but the younger man was already at the door. The door slammed loudly – too loudly – and Minhyuk retreated to his room and covered his face in his hands to, as best as he could, choke down his ugly tears.

~~~~