Yoona is sitting on the bed while she's staring at her closet with a deep thought.

Her baggage is open wide beside her, still empty, while piles of clothes, jacket, several sweaters, even undergarments spread around it. She's still sorting out which clothes she wants to bring since her baggage already carried out the same clothes for months, she didn't have time to unpack them before, thanks to her tight schedule, but now they finally have free time for several days before they have to fly again to the United States (USA) tomorrow for their nth World Tour, enough time for her to "change" the variety of her baggage.

Yoona still didn't believe herself that on these several days she manages to experience a lot of emotions all at once. Flutter, happiness, disbelieve and betrayed that seems unreal and just like a dream.

Flutter because she can finally meet with the man that she keeps in her heart for these few years now, happy because he finally made initiative moves by calling her and asked to meet her at their secret place, well, it is a cafe, but it secluded and not much visitors that's why they decided to mark the cafe as their secret place and because of that too, she can't believe that he brought someone else to the cafe when she thought that it will be only her and him, moreover, he introduced her as his new girlfriend and they've been together for a month. She had never been betrayed before, don't want to experience it neither, but when it happened it almost makes her stop breathing and speechless because both of them, the people she knows for long, is welcoming her with their innocent smile and drop a news like a bomb in her ears.

She stood there, in front of them, shocked and frozen and suddenly she couldn't understand the language they've been speaking of, not after they were dropping the news. They were smiling at her, asked her for blessing their happiness, they were even looked at each other with affection, the one thing she's always wanted from him all these time. Although the person of her interest didn't know about it because she didn't speak anything about how she felt and after yesterday, he probably will never know.

Why should he? When all his heart is already full with the girl who sitting in front of him, who now is smiling happily with her sparkling eyes and her sweet smile.

At first, she didn't realize that the purpose of all his questions is to find out more about the girl through her because both of them are close friends due to the works they had before and they still do in contacts. He asked about all of those things, from trivial like phone number, her like and dislike, what she's doing nowadays, until some serious question like whether she's in a relationship, everything. She unaware about all of his intention maybe because he asked them nonchalantly and she thought foolishly that he have put some interests on her at last.

She still remembered how it feel when her heart squeezed by something firm, it's so aches she almost sure it will start bleeding if she didn't manage to calm herself. She should have known that everything is too good to be true when suddenly he who always see her as a little sister, has put some interest, she should call herself a fool for thinking that he finally falls for her charms and realizes that she's not his little sister anymore that she turns into lady and nonetheless, a woman.

All the love she's been kept and cherished all of these years scattered in just a matter of minutes, when she saw how bright his eyes are, when he talks with the girl happily and that moment on she knew that she didn't have a chance, she's never had that chance.

Yoona was stood there, in the middle of cafe, right in front of Donghae oppa and Eunsoo unnie for several minutes after they dropped the news, watching their bright smile which makes both of their faces bright, while on the other hand, she couldn't even feel her cheeks, as it has turned cold and she couldn't say a thing, nonetheless, she didn't even know how to react.

Donghae oppa thought the reason she turned speechless was that she didn't expect unnie to like him back, just like what he thought too. She just too shocked to correct his thought about the real reason, beside, it's not like she could tell them the truth about what she felt.

In the end, she has to make herself walk away from the cafe, from them, from their happiness, Find an excuse for herself, before her tears which already gathered on the corner of her eyes threatened to drop in front of them and she has to explain herself why she cried. She makes random reason that she suddenly has to meet someone and she has to hurry, saying she couldn't stay long with them and join the celebration, but she thinks she manage wishing them a happiness or something, she just couldn't remember it.

She hates to admit that they're both look good together and hate it even more when she's knowing that she didn't have enough courage or a heart to tear them apart. Those pictures that they took in the past and became hot issue at the time, have made her a little bit insecure because she didn't tell unnie about how she feels toward Donghae oppa, nobody knows except her members and she also thought that variety is just for a show, for a public consumption, fulfilling what the viewer wants to see, well, exceptional for her maknae though. In the end, Yoona didn't analyze too deep about their closeness, beside, after that Eunsoo unnie suddenly have a boyfriend and Donghae oppa is also busy with his tight schedule which makes her insecurity disappear.

She, who always have a keen and sharp ability to read a situation, has foolishly misinterpret what oppa wants from her. She now realized that she blinded with her own fantasy that she's created, didn't realize that everything was her own imagination all along and leaving her to mourn for something she never has.

After that, she managed got away from the cafe, she went toward random direction in blurry mind, didn't remember how she manages to walk, but she did it anyway. She had to stop walking several times because she suddenly felt her chest start aches so bad and so does her stomach, she needs to calm herself that day before she could start walk again. She was just walked for several minutes before she received Seohyun's call and the rest is history.

She relieved and calmed right now, maybe because she's able to let go all of her tears and her miseries on that day, so there's nothing left for her to be mourn about today.

She even almost can forget everything about the day.

Except for Lee Jonghyun.

Yoona didn't remember how long she's been wandered around until she met Lee Jonghyun. Amazingly, she didn't meet many people on the road that she took randomly, she even manages not to bump into one until she bump into his arms. His warmth and wide arms.

Yoona might forget about her pain that day, but in return, a memory of his arms has dominated her thought and inevitably distract her mind from Donghae oppa and his new relationship. Yoona shakes her head and try to erase those memory like the others, but remember is a lot easier than forget about it. Yoona covers her face with both of her palms as the reminiscence of his warmth which wrapped around her, somehow still linger. That was the first time she hugged firmly by someone and she still can remember about it. I'm just feeling thankful for his kindness, thought Yoona try to rationalize why she felt this way. I was devastated and he just console me. Besides, it just happens several days ago, of course It's natural for me to still remember about it.

But, she still don't understand, why, from all the things that happen at that one day, the strongest thing she still remember is how it feels to be in his arms, the warmth and his unspoken consolation. Yoona unconsciously hugged herself as the memory of Jonghyun who was swept her tears and brought her to his arms is emerged again in her mind, don't matter how much Yoona want to forget about it, the image was kept coming back like a flood.

This is ridiculous! shout her in her own thought. He and me are just a close friend. Was... a close friend, before our tight schedule get in the way, thought Yoona again as she raises her head from her palms and stare blankly to a spot in front of her.

They're close before, she won't deny that, long before her maknae and his leader announced their official relationship. Both their respective group has grown closer because of Seohyun and Yonghwa, but she's able to feel comfortable easily with Jonghyun, maybe because they're both "chingoo" which make them grow closer than the other members, not to mention both her and his closeness to Kyuhyun oppa which makes them closer even more to each other.

In her wildness mind, Yoona almost thought that she has probability to fall for him, but his cool and nonchalant attitude has made her thinks that he doesn't put any interest on her, sure he said that she was his ideal type, but so that a bunch of guys out there. They were saying she is their ideal type, but saying just a saying, none of them was actually approached her for that, so, why a Lee Jonghyun should make a differ, not to mention he has changed his ideal type to another after that, beside with his popularity among idol girl groups and women at that time, enough for her to draw the line and make sure that she won't cross that line and hurt herself in return.

Now, she end up getting hurt anyway when she thought that oppa is a safe play.

She always wants to fall in love like a normal people, just like what happen to her maknae back then when she finally fall in love for the first time with her own "husband". She can't help feeling envious toward her maknae, well, the rest of SNSD member were, especially their leader. But, rather than feel envy because Seohyun end up with CNBLUE Jung Yonghwa, Yoona more envy to their beautiful relationship and how it affects her own heart. Both of them manage to make her heart flutter and warmth every time they showed their awkward affection or can't help laughing to watch their cute quarrel. She end up to be their biggest fan and the first one who screams when they're finally end up together couple years ago.

Yoona unconsciously wanted to feel a love, the kind of love like what happens to her maknae, the kind of love that could make her heart thumping like crazy, the kind that could make her smile like she has lost her mind, or makes her never let go of her phone. The kind of love that could make her awake in the middle of the night just to answer a phone call or the kind that could make her do something stupid and as a person with blood type B, Yoona always wanted the kind of love that could make her relax and don't have to worry about a thing.

The kind of love that she thought she can have with oppa, but, she was wrong.

Yoona take a deep sigh and stand up. She can't sit here all day and leisurely lost in her mind again, she's done that yesterday and the day before that, she has to do something before one of her members starts to suspicious and interrogate her again. They did that already, as soon as she awake in the next morning with swollen eyes and look miserable.

From all things she could remember from that day, the only thing she couldn't remember was, how she end up awake on Tiffany unnie's bed, she can't even remember how she got home. She remembered met him, of course, she remembered they went to FNC building, she remembered they both sitting in CNBLUE practice room and he played guitar for her, singing the sad love song, and if judging for her strong recall about how warmth his arms were, she believed she was once end up in his arms, being consoled by him.

But, that's it. That was the end of her memory of that night. No matter how hard she tried to remember what happens after that, she couldn't recall anything. Her memory is end in his arms and it's eating her alive, trying to figure out why she didn't even remember coming home and end up sleeping in a wrong room. Even when Seohyun told her that her maknae asked Kyungmin oppa to pick her up and he also probably the one who puts her on the wrong bed, but it just doesn't add up.

First, because Kyungmin oppa knows where her room is and second, when she confront him, he kinda stuttered as if he confused how to answer her question about that night. It gives him away and can't help wondering whether Kyungmin oppa is telling her everything or is he even telling her the truth. She didn't know how and why she thought that something has happened, but something has happened, she just don't know what it was.

Wait a minute! said Yoona in her mind as a thought come up, a disturbing thought. Am I just imagining things? Am I really met him or in the midst of my chaotic mind, I was hallucinating? continued Yoona to herself as she raised her hand to touch her head and try to sorting out her memory.

But, if I did imagine things, thought Yoona again as she suddenly turned her head to her open closet. That jacket won't be there when I woke up, continued Yoona as she move closer to her closet and reach for the black leather jacket which she hung neatly, after she realizes that this jacket was wrapped around her shoulder the morning she's awake in Tiffany unnie's room.

Yoona take the jacket out from her closet and bring it along with her when she walks toward the bed, she put the jacket above he