THE Secret of Friendship

 

I had friends. In fact, when I was little and into ponies and frills, I had quite a crew hanging around. It was most likely because I wasn’t ugly. Looking back, I was pretty popular during my middle school days, all the way to the first year of high school. But, unfortunately for me, I guess, I grew out of it. It didn’t feel like the real me at all. I was pretending, matching my interests to my friends, acting like they wanted me to act… I watched every word I said, trying hard not to be rejected for the harsh truth I dared. But I was tired of it all. Of not being me. Soon, I didn’t care about laces and ribbons and preferred comfortable t-shirts and a jean to dresses and skirts. That’s when the ones I used to hang out with started giving me weird stares. I knew they talked behind my back and pretended like they were busy so I wouldn’t hang out with them. My new honest attitude, because once you stop pretending you go all out, wasn’t exactly their cup of tea. That’s when I decided I didn’t need those people who couldn’t accept me for who I was. In fact, I pretty much gave up on friendship. Until I met her.

 

                                                                              

 

The day I met Jung Krystal had to be the unluckiest day of my whole life. Not because of her, of course. But seriously, how can you forget your umbrella on a pouring day, and then get splashed by the very bus you were supposed to take? By waking up late and panicking, without a doubt! Probably because your alarm clock decided to break down that day. All in all, it was a great way to start the week. As anyone would say, Mondays were bad news… Short story, I was soaked to the bone, in a very pissed up mood and super late for school. That’s when Krystal, who I had never talked to before but who I new was in my class, handed me a spare umbrella. She was silent and everything around her seemed in suspension, even time itself. It was like nothing could come and disrupt her. Like everything just froze…

“Thank you?” I said tentatively.

She smiled and all the ice melted away. Her smile had to be one of the brightest to ever graze the Earth. Seriously. How could anyone think of her as cold?

Being with Krystal, who wanted to be called Soojung rather than her American name, was actually pretty easy. We would both speak our minds and while there were times when we didn’t agree, it was always discussed down and solved in a matter of seconds. Two weeks after our first meeting, we had become joined at the hip. We would go back home together and meet on the way to school, we would go for ice cream or karaoke… It was fun. And I carefully kept the umbrella she gave me that rainy day.

 

                                                                        

 

Honestly, I kept wondering how someone like Krystal, because I liked her American name better than her Korean one, could become friend with me. She was the epitome of the pretty girl. Her face looked like a statue’s and she acted with manners and grace. Sure, she was a little bit cold to strangers, but she was warm once you knew her. She was smart, always dressed with labels with never a strand of hair out of place. She looked like the girls I used to hang out with, only better. Like the girls had tried to copy her and failed miserably. As far as I’m concerned, I was pretty average. I have been told I had a cute face but I never wore makeup and always threw on whatever garment I found in the morning. I was careless with my appearance when she took so much care in hers. I barely passed my test and she was the top of the class… Things didn’t add up and I wasn’t the only one who noticed.

All around us, people would make comments about how we were nothing alike and as much as it pained me, I had to agree. So I asked her…

“Why are we friends?” I asked while nibbling on my French fries.

She stopped eating and laid her burger down before looking out the window. Whenever we ate at a fast-food like today, we would chose a table near a window we both loved natural sunlight. When she turned to look at me, I saw how serious she was.

“I think you are the most amazing person I have ever met,” she said. But how could it be true? She was obviously the most amazing person I’ve ever met…

“You are honest,” she continued. “Not only with the others, but also with yourself. You don’t pretend to be someone your not. Somehow, it’s comfortable being around you.”

And I was so touched by her words I could have cried. I felt exactly the same. Instead of tearing up, I addressed her my biggest smile. She seemed to notice the feelings I had because she smiled back. A warm and beautiful smile that all those who called her ‘ice’ would never get to see.

 

                                                                        

 

I went to her place many times and she came to mine just as much. We talked all night and played games. I was actually happy these moments were ours only. I was happy no one would get to see Krystal’s messy bed hair or her worn out pajama. And, yes, she was the only one who would ever see mine, since it dated from my pre-honest period. Somewhere during the innumerable hours we spent together, I started becoming scared of someone coming between us. What if one of us suddenly had a boyfriend? Well, it was most likely to be her, but I knew she rejected every guy that tried. That very fact kept me feeling safe… But all god things come to an end, don’t they?

 

                                                                        

 

The class would start in a few minutes. I put down the list I was making and sighed. Krystal, who had snuck up on me seized the chance and plunged for my sheet. She gave me a smile before taking a step back.

“Krystal, give me back my paper,” I said.

“But, Jaena, you seemed to be working so hard on it,” she teased while looking at it.

I winced when I saw her begin to read. It’s not that I was ashamed I had written it, but it wasn’t meant for everybody to read.

“Let’s see… ‘101 things to do before I die’… A bucket list? Is there something you are not telling me?” She asked half serious.

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not dying, if that is what you are asking.”

She nodded and continued to read. “Number 14: Swim with a dolphin. Really? I didn’t think you were the type to…”

“Dolphins happens to be very friendly creatures and they seem really smooth. I’m just curious. Now give it back and stop laughing at me!”

In the meantime, the teacher had entered and everybody else just went to their own seat, taking out pens and notebooks. Lifting his eyes, the teacher noticed how my friend and I were still bickering over that stupid list.  “Will you two sit down?” He asked with a stern look.

“But, she’s being childish!” I whined. I felt Krystal laughing. Yes, yes, laugh all you want.

“Miss Im Jaena, I think you are the childish one,” the teacher answered after a second of staring. “Now sit.”

I obliged with a grunt. My best friends affectionately patted my arm, still laughing her head off. I glared at her but it only seemed to make the scene funnier. With an apologetic shoulder move, she gave me my list back. I quickly put in between my notebook pages.

“Now, I have someone I want to introduce you,” the teacher indicated a boy that was standing in the background. That’s when I saw him. The teacher introduced him as Kim Jongin, which prompted the boy to ask us to call him Kai.

I glanced at Krystal who was embellishing her notes’ heading, oblivious to the newcomer.

“Why does everyone want to be called by an other name?” I muttered not quietly enough as every student’s head turn to me. I saw my best-friend snicker, finally tearing her eyes away from her pile of sheets.

“And what exactly do you want to be called, Jaena,” she asked me with a look that dared me to answer. “Dolphin Princess?”

I was never going to live that down, was I? I snapped my head at her. “Dolphins are awesome, get over it!”

She shook her head, smiling while I sat proudly in my seat. Then, I realized how everybody was listening to our conversation. The class might have been used to it, but the new student did not. Looking up at Kai, still standing few feet away, I saw him smile at me.

“You are funny,” he said. And I felt something doing flips in my stomach.

 

                                                                        

 

Soon, we found out how exactly the arriving of new students would affect our school life. Kai wasn’t alone. He had come to this school with his best buddy, Do Kyungsoo, who had been put in another class. Kai was one of those individuals that you only see once in a lifetime, two if you are lucky… No girl at school stayed indifferent to him. He was tall, good looking and exuding pheromones like he was the child of the goddess of love. Girls practically threw themselves at his feet. A simple smile of ‘good morning’ lit up a day… Even I felt like he was something special. And while he was a little bit out of my league, I did pray for him to notice me.

Krystal, she was not like the other girls. She had seen all kind of pretty boys in her life, dated some and had her heart broken by one, hence why she swore off boys for a while. She was therefore not affected by the demigod, who found that fact slightly annoying, yet refreshing. So, to my utter joy, he began hanging out with us.

He was smart too, like Krystal, and a smooth-talker who could get out of every situation. I envied him. He was good at sports too, a great dancer. He told jokes and it was actually funny, not those kinds that you laugh at because of how stupid they are… Was there anything this guy couldn’t do? With each passing day, I could feel my admiration for him rising and the distance I dug between Krystal and I. I became scarred Mr. Perfection would prefer my more dazzling, independent, strong best friend so I selfishly took precautions. A day when we were both alone, as Kai wanted to hang out with his own best friend, I laid down my cards on the table.

“Krystal,” I said, “I think I’m interested in Kai…”

She looked at me like I was crazy, probably wondering why I was telling her that. Well, from my past experience as a friend, when one of your ‘sisters’ told you about a boy, that boy was crossed out for everyone else, even if he confessed to another girl. If that girl was friend with the first girl, she had to refuse. The first had called dibs. That was exactly what I was doing.

“Sure, do whatever you want…” she said with a raised brow. “Is this why we’ve been so distant these days? ‘Cause you’ve got a new interest?”

I nodded then proceeded to explain how I was a little bit scared that she was feeling the same as I did and that Kai would want to be with her.

“No, I don’t feel like that for him. I just don’t want us to stop being friends, okay? Our relationship is more important than any guy,” Krystal said. And I believed her.

 

                                                                        

 

At lunch, Krystal and I had decided it was a perfect day for sushi. We shared one big plate. I felt Krystal’s eyes shrinking, as she frowned to be able to see what was behind me. I turned around to see Kai and his friend walking straight toward us.

“Hey girls,” he said. “Have you met Kyungsoo? Kyungsoo, Krystal and Jaena. Girls, Kyungsoo, my best buddy.”

I shook my head, we hadn’t formally met although we had heard things, and introduced myself with a warm smile. Krystal did the same but she had put on her ice queen face. Not the most welcoming thing to do, but whatever.

They set their plate next to ours and sat at the table. I could feel some girls staring at me. Somehow, being surrounded by beautiful people didn’t make me feel any particular emotion, anymore. I had gotten accustomed. I blamed it all on Krystal.

We talked friendlily and Krystal got up to throw the garbage. It was her turn this time, and tomorrow it would be mine. Waiting for her, I felt eyes on me. Kai was staring and the intensity of it made me shiver.

“You have something on your cheek,” he told me after a full second of scrutinizing.

I held my hand and brushed my cheek picking up a grain of rice. Of course!

“I know,” I casually let out. “I’m starting a new fashion…”

Squinting, amazed by my own stupidity, I walked away fast, not letting him see my reddening cheeks. Uh, how embarrassing…

 

“I saw everything,” Krystal sang with her melodious voice after catching up with me. “Things are starting to look good for you, right?”

“I’m an idiot,” I stated with a blank face.

“I know,” she sighed. “But I’m glad you finally seem to realize…”

I gaped as she let out a smile. Shaking my head, I elbowed her lightly and continued walking.

 

                                                                        

 

The quiet little place Krystal and I had carved into the world for ourselves was quickly invaded by the new guys. We were always hanging out together. Kai’s presence started to grow on me and I couldn’t imagine a world where they were not around anymore.

One day, he told us he still had business to take care of concerning his previous school and that he had to go away for the month.

“Sure do, it’s not like we’ll miss you,” Krystal stated without even looking at him.

I saw him snicker. “What are you saying? Of course you’ll miss me!” He looked at me, and then at Kyungsoo and we assured him we would. “See,” he told Krystal. “They are nice kids…”

Krystal rolled her eyes.

 

                                                                        

 

“It may sounds mean, but I’m actually happy he’ll leave for a while. It means things will go back to the way they were before. I missed it…”

I looked at my friend and considered what she had just said. Well, my mind had been full of other things lately, but hanging out with more people was fun.

“You don’t pay me attention,” she whined like a kid. “I will get jealous.”

I laughed at her and we just lay on the grass in the school’s soccer field. Nobody was practicing at the moment, so it was all good. I was enjoying the sun when a shadow suddenly invaded my field of vision. I saw Kai, towering over us with a nervous smile.

“Krystal,” he asked. “Could I talk to you?”

“Sure, I’m listening,” she answered opening one eye.

He looked nervous and out of place but managed to carry on.

“Would it be possible to talk in private?” He asked again. “No offense, Jaena.”

“None taken…” I said, lifting a brow and asking myself what it was about.

Krystal got up and followed him somewhere I couldn’t see. After a few minutes, I stood up, worried. It was taking way more time than I expected. There were only so many reasons to call someone out like that. Spying on them wouldn’t be good, but I couldn’t wait for Krystal to tell me. I wanted to make sure that my hunch was right. That Kai, as painful as it might have been, wasn’t interested in me.

I followed my friends and hid behind a wall. Leaning to get a better view, I was shocked by what I saw. They were clearly kissing and seemed to enjoy it.

That day, I went home all by myself and locked myself into my room. Homework could wait, my friends could wait, the whole world could wait. For now, I just wanted to be on my own. I didn’t cry, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want to. I just didn’t know what hurt the most. The rejection or the betrayal…

 

                                                                        

 

Kai went away the next day. I didn’t go to send him off, in fact, I was cowardly hiding into my room, pretending to be sick. I missed school, and when Krystal came to give me the homework I missed, I pretended to be asleep. I just couldn’t talk to her. The day become two, and three… On the third day, however, something changed.

“Hi, I’m here for Jaena’s homework,” a guy introduced himself. From the second floor, I could hear my mom fuss around. I was surprised. Unless Krystal suddenly got a bad case of throat inflammation the person downstairs was clearly a guy. Wrapping myself in my blanket, I exited my room and stood on top of the stairs. Kyungsoo’s happy smiled greeted me from the threshold.

“Hi! Glad to know you are okay!”

I raised a brow, as I didn’t believe I was okay. I still went down and offered him to enter under the suspicious glances of my mom. I assured her we were just friends. We sat on opposite couches in the living room and I stared at him in silence. I would have never thought he would come. In fact, I never talked to him alone before. This was definitely very surprising.

“Krystal asked me to come. In fact, I have no idea what homework you have, I’m not even in your class…” He laughed awkwardly while staring at the table between us. That was true and I didn’t even notice it before he pointed it out. He was in another class.

“Why are you here?” I asked.

“She missed you…” he stated with a sad look.

I stayed quiet. The tension could be felt, and obviously he didn’t appreciate it very much. He rose up on his feet.

“Listen, Jaena. I know you are upset. I understand, since you loved Kai. But Krystal life is really hard at the moment,” he had raised his voice, almost screaming. I just watched in awe. How did he know?
“It wasn’t ‘love’, it was ‘like’,” I mumbled. He shrugged with a look that clearly stated ‘Whatever’.

“How exactly is she having a hard time?” I asked. He seemed glad I did as he sat back.

“You are not the only one who found out about the kiss. Other girls don’t hang out with Krystal. She’s always alone. I can’t even be there because we don’t have the same schedule. I think she got called to the roof, once. She even found out treat note in her locker. And she’s sad that you’re not there.”

Wait! That guy knew way too much! As if he was reading my mind, he said: “I saw it too, in case you were wondering.”

I was indeed wondering…

“Are you mad at her? Because she kissed the guy you had a crush on? Because she stole him from you?” he wondered.

“What?” I answered. Not my most glorious reply, but whatever. “I’m not mad! She has every right to be happy with whomever she wants. She didn’t stole because he was never mine. But I guess I’m hurt that she never told me about it… I mean, I told her…”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes like I was stupid and he made me pout. “Girls and their pride….” he stated.

Semi-offended, I stood up. “I’ll go talk to her. Thanks, I guess,” I added with a smile.

And I dropped the blanket, running to go change my horrifying pink pajama. With a little bit of chance, he wouldn’t have had time to see it clearly, in all it’s rabbit patterned glory. I went back down minutes later, Kyungsoo was leaving. He glanced at me while I took a jacket out of the closet.

“So, I guess you aren’t really sick?”

For a guy who seemed to know everything, he was surprisingly naive. I smiled at him before walking out the door.

 

                                                                        

 

“I am so sorry,” Krystal cried on my shoulder.

The minute I had stepped on her lawn, I had received 47 kg of a best friend. I figured she would have been eating ice cream and chocolate by her own, these past few days… We sat on the grass in front of her house like we did last summer. It wasn’t very discreet, as any passerby could see us, but it was the evening and everyone pretty much dined at that time.

“I am the one who is sorry,” I apologized, strangely being the more mature of the two. That was something new.

“I didn’t know what to do, you know. He told me he liked me, and I just froze because it wasn’t planned. And I think I enjoyed it?” She dragged her sentence in a question.

“Why are you asking me,” I said with a small grin.

“Jaena!” she squealed while burying her face in my shirt. “I think I like him…”

I patted her head lightly, the way my mother did when I was younger. “How is it a bad thing?”

“You like him!” she said, lifting her head.

“Oh, Krystal! Don’t think about that. Am I such a bad friend that you think I wouldn’t wish for your happiness?”

She squinted as the information sank in. “What about your happiness?”

I laughed. Oh, she was truly something… “My happiness isn’t in the hands of anyone. I make myself happy. You make me happy. Kai and Kyungsoo make me happy. You are my friend…”

She nodded and let out a small smile.

“By the way, sending Kyungsoo?” I said, raising an inquiring brow.

“I had no other choice, you know!”

 

                                                                        

 

From that moment on, everything seemed to have been mended between us, girls. We were back to being the two peas in a pod. I was thankful because with my pretended sickness, I had school to catch up with. Kyungsoo would hang out with us, because in all that had happened, his own best friend was still away. It actually led to some pretty funny situations. There was the time where we had self-study and we snuck out of the room. We tried to convince Kyungsoo to come with us, but he was in the middle of Algebra and couldn’t really leave. Somewhere between our hand signs, the teacher figured us out and we had to run. We found out later that Kyungsoo had used the diversion to jump out the window. Hopefully, he was on the first floor. He all went to eat ice cream.

Days went by like that and I could really feel any lingering feeling I had for Kai disappear. In fact, I was even a little bit mad that he wasn’t coming back to Krystal. Who kiss people and then leave them like that? But my friend didn’t mind. She was still her cheery ever-so-happy self, with me that is…

 

                                                                        

 

One day, she felt like we didn’t spend enough time together, only the two of us. So, she called a Girl’s Day. I didn't exactly felt like shopping. But Krystal had a way of getting what she wanted. I had to come... And being there, with a soft alternative song playing in the background reminded me of the movies I always watched. For sure, it was the sign something unbelievable would happen. So I waited for the perfect guy to appear and for our eyes to meet. Of course, he would be dazzled by my charms and sweep me off my feet to our wedding. As if! I still naively glanced around until I saw him. Tall, broad shoulders, brown ily messed-out hair... Tall, dark and handsome? And it was for me? But then, he turned and my eyes widened. Kai? Oh, the universe had a twisted sense of humor... Rolling my eyes, I elbowed Krystal who was still looking through racks of clothes. She looked up at me and I pointed him. She blinked once, then twice, her long eyelashes looking like the flapping of a butterfly's wings, light and gracious. Of course! In a second, she was throwing herself in his arms, dropping the clothes and their hangers on the ground. I picked them up and when I straightened up, I saw she had taken a step back and was hitting him. It was the kind of light tap that wouldn't hurt a fly. The kind that boys just laughed at. They found it cute that girls thought they could harm them. Well, I could understand why she was angry. He apologized and I considered it was no longer a need to stick around. I only had the time to see my friend put back on her ice queen face. Yes, that one... It made me laugh that after her sudden burst of affection and cute angriness she thought it still mattered. No, girl, he saw right through you!

I went toward the back of the shop. Surely I could find myself a cute top instead of a cute boyfriend. At least, it would be machine-washable and refundable in case I wasn't satisfied...

Going through the racks, I picked some clothes and went to the dressing rooms. I changed into a cute pink frilly top. Even though it was totally unlike me, I just had to try to dress like Krystal to see how it was. I stepped out of the cabin to look at myself. Didn't you just hated when there was no mirror inside the cabin?

“Nice look,” said a voice behind me. I turned around to see Kyungsoo. Of course, if Kai was here...

"So you're a wingman today?" I asked. He huffed.

"I was here to shop. But Kai dropped me for her..."

We both stole a glance at the happy couple. Krystal was still pretending not to be affected by the boy's charms, which he was exuding way more than usual. I even saw some girls staring at him like they were in love and then at Krystal like they wanted to tear her eyes out.

"Wow, he's really going all out!" I commented.

"Are you affected?" Kyungsoo asked me worriedly.

"No." And it was true. I was cured of the Kai fever. "What about you?"

He laughed. Well, I had asked him if he was affected by his best-friend's pheromones after all.

"I think I'm good..." He replied.

"Good..." I said, stretching out the word and the silence after it.

"Want to ditch them and go take a coffee?" Kyungsoo asked.

"Sure," I answered. "Let's go."

And as we were going to leave, I suddenly remembered about the pink frilly shirt and went to change with a blush. Back in my old t-shirt and combat boots, I felt much more comfortable. Kyungsoo was waiting outside the store and as I walked by him, I took his arm to drag him.

"Thanks, by the way," I said. He didn't answer, but I knew he had heard. Probably.

We entered a coffee shop straight across the clothing store and settled at a table beside a window. I supposed it was a matter of habit. As I sipped on my mocha, I felt Kyungsoo eyes burn the top of my head.

“Yes?” I asked while straightening up. I admitted I didn’t have the best eating habits, always leaning over my plate instead of staying still and bringing the food to me. But it was beside the point.

“Im Jaena,” Kyungsoo stated. “Jaena…”

And it felt as if he liked the sound of it and kept rolling it off his tongue. My brows furrowed a little, wondering what he was doing.

“Could I talk to you?” he asked. I blinked. Wasn’t he already talking? Wasn’t it the whole point of taking a coffee?

Keeping my sarcastic remarks to myself, I just nodded.

“These past days, we have hung out together a lot,” he began and I had no idea where he wanted to go. So I just stared at him in silence, waiting for the central proposition of his speech.

“I feel like we’ve become closer. I don’t know how to say this, but I think I’d like to know you better. I’d like it if we c-”

Just at the moment I felt the real subject was approaching, although I didn’t know what it was, my phone rang. Eyes widening, I apologized to Kyungsoo before taking my phone out of my pocket. It was a text from Krystal.

“Where are you? I thought we agreed this was girl’s day.”

I looked out the window to find my best friend in front of the shop, looking for me. Finally, she seemed to spot me. Instantly, her expression turned guilty, like she had interrupted something.

“Sorry, I promised Krystal we would spend the day together, but she can wait a little bit. What did you want to tell me?” I asked, telling him to carry on.

He seemed flustered for a second as he averted his gaze from mine and he shook his head.

“No, it’s okay. It wasn’t that important anyway.”

“Okay, then. I’ll take a rain check.” I got up from the chair and took my cup of coffee. “Well, I’ll see you at school,” I said before exiting the shop.

As soon as I went out, I saw Krystal crossing to my side of the street and we just walked to the next shop.

“Sorry, it seems I interrupted a nice conversation,” she apologized.

“Nah, it’s okay. We’ll see each other at school anyway…” I trailed off. It was no big deal. Even Kyungsoo had said so.

“What would you think of dating him?” she asked me with a smile.

“I don’t know. We’re only friends…” My answer made her laugh. When she turned back to me, her smile had become a grin.

“Do you know you are the funniest person I’ve ever met?”

“Thanks?” I said with a raised brow. I had no idea where this compliment came from…

 

                                                                        

 

Author's note

 

It's obviously not perfect, but I was super excited to have finished it so I posted it anyway. I will probably go and correct the mistakes and work on it a little... But, do tell me what you think of it... :)

And OMG t's so long! Congratulation if you've made it to the end... I should make it a two-shot, but I don't know... XD

I love you!

Comment, please~!