Ah, school.

A place for hundreds of mortal children to be crammed together and forced to learn useless knowledge that won't help them at all later in life but will make or break their future anyway.

Sam always thought "school" was a stupid idea.

But, well, mortals thought in funny ways, he supposed. And there was a good chunk of humanity that turned out not too shabby even with this school nonsense, so it couldn't have been all that bad, right? Nah, it must have been good.

"Are... are you sure you'll be okay down here? You can't talk to anybody. And... and..."

"Oh, is all-mighty Miss Gummy actually worried about me?"

"Sam, shut your face! I'm not 'worried' about you... I just... you most likely will screw this all up, you know. If you would simply take the Hell sentence, then I might be able to get Him to shorten it to a few centuries. But if this goes south, bam. That's it. You're done. Hell for eternity. Can you... can you reconsider?"

"Gummy, it's a bit late to reconsider. We're already outside the school's gates."

The head angel huffed a little bit, making her seem infinitely younger. Sam had to fight back a chuckle, because in this state, she seemed more like an amateur angel than one that has been around since the beginning of time. "I know, I know." Her face softened slightly as she put her bone-thin fingers on Sam's shoulders. "Well... good luck out there. Mortals can be real tough cookies. They're so obstinate and selfish and dull and--"

"Thank you, Gummy. I'll be careful, I promise. Tell the healing angels once again that I'm sorry, and that I hope they'll forgive me by the time I return."

The blonde bit her lip, eyes full of sorrow and lost hope. "That is, if you come back."

Sam mimicked her motion, grasping her shoulders with his large hands. "I will. I promise you. I'm gonna make you proud, okay?" He paused for a moment, trying to gather up the courage to say something that wasn't in-character for such a manly man as himself. Because that's what he was. Manly. Of course. "Hey, Gummy?"

"Yes?"

"You've always been helping me, and even though I'm constantly making a mess of things and letting you down, you still don't hate me. You still talk to me and you still give me advice and you still always do what's best for me. I guess what I'm trying to say... is... I care about you a lot. And thank you. Thank you so much, for everything."

Gummy let out a smile that was suspiciously close to a sneer and gave a light slap across Sam's left cheek. "Gah, look at all these emotions! Disgusting!"

Sam crossed his arms as the white-winged angel in front of him mock-gagged. "Oh, whatever! I knew I shouldn't have said that!" He his heel, preparing to stomp into the building, but a cold hand on his wrist stopped him.

"Hey, don't run away. I have a few things I want to give you first."

"Fine."

"First, here is an emergency call button." The raven-haired angel was given a silver necklace with a glimmering stone in the middle. "Keep it around your neck at all times, and push the gem. I will automatically be summoned here to help fix whatever problems you created. Only use it for real emergencies, got it? I won't be happy if I'm whisked away just to help you with something petty."

"Simple enough."

"Let's hope so," mumbled Gummy. "Next is something I probably shouldn't be giving you, but I'll give it to you anyway because I'm just that amazing to you and you better appreciate it, you idiot. It's a potion to let you be seen and heard by humans for one hour. I'm giving you three doses, and if I find out you misused them, I will personally throw you into the depths of Hell. You hear me?"

"Loud and clear." He put on the necklace and placed the three vials into his pocket. "Is that all?"

"Just one more thing..."

And apparently that thing was a hug.

And ew because, hello, affection. From Gummy. Gummy.

"Go get 'em, Tiger," she purred before pulling away.

"Alright, alright, enough with this! You'll make me late for school!" Gummy laughed and let out her wings. The pair said their goodbyes before she took to the air, leaving Sam to feel awfully alone and scared.

No, scratch that.

He wasn't scared.

He was cool, and cool guys are never scared. So yeah, not scared. He was fine. Absolutely fine.

"Get out! Get out, get out, GET OUT!!"

Huh. Humans sure could be noisy.

"I'm not getting out, Teo! This is my classroom too, and I have just as much of a right to be--"

Smack.

"You... Teo, you did not just throw a book in my face."

"So what if I did? What are you gonna do, Mister Teacher's Pet?"

The mortal boy Sam had dubbed the Schooly One took a deep breath, his face a violent shade of red. That couldn't be good. Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, the Sassy One (who certainly had to be the baby of Gummy and Ren) plopped down in his chair, clearly satisfied with himself.

"Yun. Teo. Both of you go to the office, right now," the wrinkly old teacher told the boys. The Schooly One, AKA Yun, tried to protest and claim that he did nothing, but even Sam had to admit that he was the one who poked the bear in the fist place. Obviously Sassy hated him, so why did he have to start something? Eh. That's mortals for you.

Sam slipped through the door behind them, following them to the place called the Office. The Office sounded kind of scary, to be quite honest. Sam didn't want to go, but he had to keep Sassy and Schooly in sight, so he went anyway.

“This is all your fault,” Schooly muttered once they were seated in the Office. Sassy just scoffed and played with a strand of his long hair.

“You two really can't get along, can you?” Sam asked them, even though he knew fully well his words wouldn't reach their ears. “How am I supposed to get you to fall in love?” He squatted in front of the teens, gazing at them with pleading eyes. “Come on, guys. Obviously I want to help you, but I need a little something to work with here. Don't make my job difficult!”

A woman with kind eyes walked out of a back room, holding two pink slips of paper. “Alright, boys, the principal has decided to give you after-school detention for one hour today. Come straight to the cafeteria once the final bell rings, okay? Now go back to class.”

Schooly was devastated, Sassy was exasperated, and Sam was confused.

Detention? What did that mean? Like, prolonged school or something? Extra classes? Punishment? Whatever it was, it didn't sound pleasant at all.

Sam had to admit it: he was wrong.

School wasn't good.

It was definitely Hell on Earth.

Omg. What. I'm alive? Since when??

Guys, I'm really sorry I haven't been updating anything. My depression has been insane lately, and I haven't really been able to do anything. I'm surprised I could actually get out of bed today.

 I'm trying to go back to writing in order to lift my spirits up. Since this here is a comedy fic, I thought it could to the trick. And honestly, I think is has. I feel a lot better now~

Tell me what you think of this chapter! Whose side are you on so far, Sassy or Schooly? Or are you like Gummy and think "all humanz lol k bye."

Jfc I need to stop. Okay. I'm done. This A/N is getting too long so SEE YA!